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Yes. During meditation, I also hang on words often, when i know what should i experience, because i read a lot about spirituality and i hang on knowledge to much. For example my thoughts are "everything arises from nothingness, you are that, you are nothingness" and that's just a thought, not a truth! Just observe that, and the real experience shall come, as soon as your thoughts goes away. Truth is not a word or concept!

Nothingness gives you the god. love gives you the religion or moral law=religion =ethics. You must have breakthrough to nothingness and love in order to comprehend it.

Appearance is within reality. Relative stuff is within reality. There is difference... No appearance of difference = nothingness, without even an appearance of somethingness. Nothingness and somethingness is already an appearing difference and is how existence even appears at all point blank. A baby sees color X and Y the moment it is born. It doesn't even know what color or seeing is. The idea some people have is that if they just stop thinking thoughts and simply experience, magically all contrast vanishes. Not only do they see the truth that "this is all mind", but it just straight up vanishes.

there is a Rank bar next to all members. but currently, everyone's rank is pure nothingness. even Leo's. why is there a rank function when there is no ranking and why keep it blank? do u have any idea to use it in the future Leo? @Leo Gura

@Khan 0 Zen Devils…. Enlightened people/ seekers have abused others… or misapplied teachings… especially when we are just beginning.. your making it out like zen devilry is impossible. when you realize how many mistakes you make you proceed with more humility and caution… Spirituality isn’t just Non-Dual awakening to absolute truth and collapsing of all dualities into loving nothingness… it includes human life…. Q Shaman…

Yes. Because you are always nothing, stay nothing forever. However this so called human is temporary finction. So when you die nothingness stays. Because thats what you are, you go back that where did you come from. This so called body is not you just a dream, and real you is always sleeping as before birth.

Leo has not experienced energy shoot from his fingers LOL, he's been watching too much Avatar. You can indeed imagine your hands as tentacles and such but it won't affect "consensus reality". Don't apply your ego to the world around you. Your ego, and your thoughts and desires to control X or Y are themselves appearances in consciousness. It seems to me what is called consciousness, AKA nothingness, is the source of creation and choice. Nothingness is the puppet master. Not me the identity or me the thoughts or me the feelings or me the desires. Those are things the puppet master is puppeteering.

@TDLH There is no higher self or unconditioned you underneath the ego. There just isn't anything there. It's literally mind blowing. That's the nothingness being pointed to. ❤

1) An atom is a helpful abstraction we use to describe material phenomena 2) Any concept wording like "empty" or "field" will misslead you - they are concepts based on interactions 3) Mathematics is the language to understand what an atom "looks" like 4) Atoms aren't "mostly empty space," they are mostly the wave function of the electron 5) The best descriptions are based on quatum mechanics 6) Quantum mechancis is poorly understood at an ontological level and our best theories include the creation of a universe every single moment (many worlds) or relational turtles all the way to "nothingness" (Caro Rovellis Loop Qunatum gravity) If you talk about relative truth topics, keep yourself to the scientists who actually study the phenomena itself

I am aware of your attachment to the concepts presented in “A Course in Miracles”, and your attachment to “Nothingness” and “Nothing Matters”. I am not saying these are wrong or bad attachments, but over the years I have noticed that you have not moved beyond these limited concepts and beliefs. The reason I am bringing this to your attention is that I had also clung to these concepts and beliefs at the beginning of my DMT experiences. It took me a year of critical thinking, questioning, and being present with my “Self”, to really expand beyond these thoughts, ideas, images, beliefs, expectations, feelings and emotions that nothing matters, which I clung to as an EGO security blanket. Spiritual bypassing is very deceptive and can lull you into new attachments that become hardwired as new thoughts, ideas, images, beliefs, expectations, feelings and emotions. An extreme example of this would be “Born again Christians”, which believe they are above everyone else and there concept of reality is the only true Reality! Nothingness and nothing matters is a very limited concept that can imprison the Human Mind so that it doesn’t have to struggle with the expanded consciousness hidden in the Unknown! You are absolutely right "The ego says seek but do not find", which means seek only within your own beliefs, within the confines of the limited Human physical experience, “But” do not seek beyond the hardwired beliefs, beyond my comfort zone and beyond my security blanket, because this is a belief we as a collective believe in! The Ego does not dictate your experience! Your thoughts, ideas, images, beliefs, expectations, feelings, and emotions that you program into your Ego determines the reality that you create, independently and collectively within the collective Earth Mind, within "all-That-Is". At one moment in time, I believed the Ego was evil and untrustworthy and needed to die so that I (the physical “I” that “I” was experiencing) could become whole, become healed, and become greater than the physical identity I was attached to and experiencing! I have since realized that the Ego is an imaginary bubble of limited consciousness that my “Greater-Self” has constructed to experience the magic of this wonderful physical dream reality. The Ego bubble is not rigid, it is flexible. It can expand, or contract, and be everything in between. It is only as flexible as the beliefs etc. that you program into it. If you believe the Ego is evil, angry, dysfunctional, and toxic, that life is evil, angry, dysfunctional, and toxic etc. then that will become your reality. If you believe your Ego is a feixible lens that allows you to explore the Human Mind and can expand into the unknow reaches of “All-That-Is”, then that can also become your reality. If you decide to believe that there is nothing beyond this human experience and that nothing matters, because “everything” is “Nothingness”, well then that becomes your reality! I personally would rather explore, expand, and experience all forms and formless states of Beingness within the multidimensional realms of consciousness that are within “All-That-Is”! It’s much more interesting than sitting on my hands and doing nothing, because “Nothing Matters”! "All-That-Is", is always "Becoming", always "Expanding", always "Changing". Nothing stays Nothing! Just sharing a few thoughts, ideas, and beliefs!

This is the result of getting high on DMT and experiencing the death of the self/other divide, right? I did not find that compelling in hindsight (can't think during the trip, only after in hindsight). What I found certain and compelling was "emptiness". The inherent literal nothingness of isolated awareness. Becoming nothingness was certainly no drug trip delusion... Either I became nothing observing me, or there was nothing where I'd have expected a little observer substance to reside. DMT induced neti-neti until I was literal nothingness... When the subject and object divide collapsed, it was more like a dream in that there was still observed objects but I understood keenly that all of it was mind. I wasn't separate from what I was seeing. That's not the same as what is often implied regarding no subject and object.

In absolute perspective, now is the source, it is prior to birth. Whatever we talk, learned, experienced just a process of so called thoughts. Therefore, when realization happens that there is no such a thing as thought, thats called enlightenment or nirvana, meanwhile there is no i nor you there, because we are so called accumulation of thoughts process too (birth, name, life death, such as so called matrix). if you are asking perspective of duality, life is love, because love is the best feeling of duality that makes you free from suffering, because you love the suffering to. And reason of this is Therefore hitting of the core of nothingness is the key because you manage the so called life the perspective of nothingness not from so called ego or as a human.

Prior your birth, there was nothing there, and thats what You really are. Therefore, this is just a game, life is just wining a lottery. You are still nothing, you gave the so called life as a lottery to yourself. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Love everything you can. Because it is the best feeling. After this so called life or so called death will end of all pleasure, pain, feelings, there will be no more life just will be deep sleep same as prior to your so called birth. Therefore, so called Life is so short, dont regret, when it comes the end. If you live your life not your temporary reflection (which is the ego), but Your real self (which is nothingness), and knowing this every second in your life, happiness, joy and love is inevitable. After this so called life there will be just nothing, everything will end. Therefore, even your suffering right now is love. Can you imagine after so called death, everything ends. So how can you not be full filled now? Thus, if you live your life from the perspective of Real You life will be heaven.

Thanks for sharing! The reality is that we have all fallen into many gradients of Spiritual bypassing, but most people are not aware of it. Me included. When you are in it, it is very difficult to see or notice. It’s like the eye cannot see it’s self without a mirror. I hate repeating myself from other posts, but I don’t care how many DMT trips you take, how much you meditate, how may retreats you go on, how wonderful and colourful your vocabular sounds, what intellectual words you know! If you fail to do the “WORK” you will continuously fall into degrees of “Spiritual Bypassing”. I know, because I have fallen in these trap’s countless times on my own journey in the last twenty plus years. If you truly want to become enlightened, it’s going to take more than taking hundred of trips on DMT, or thousand of hours and days of meditation etc. Yes, this all HELPS, but only within degrees of moderation. That being said, DMT, meditation etc. are great “Tools”. But they should not become a “crutch or prop” on your spiritual journey! In my “Opinion”, it’s a 24 and 7 job observing, discerning, questioning, evaluating and consciously discriminating every thought, idea, image, belief, feeling and emotion. It means unearthing every trauma, every addiction (Not just Drug and alcohol addictions, but also psychological addictions such as anger, being self righteousness, being a drama queen, anxiety, self-importance, pity etc.). It means doing Shadow work with awareness, it means “Doing the Work” and not just throwing around terms such as Nothingness, Absolute God Consciousness, Love etc. Just sharing a few thoughts, ideas, beliefs and emotions!

I would understand that take, yeah. It is possible in some states to bend things to my "will" like in lucid dreams. But on closer inspection, the will to - say - flap my arms and fly in a dream appeared, and before it appeared it wasn't anywhere. And before it was thought, I can't say I played any part in choosing to bring it out of nothingness into being thought.

Trip Report 2. Jan 40mg 5-MeO-MALT plugged with 2ml water. I lay down in my bed with eyes closed and listened to some OM Chanting. As always, strong feelings in the body emerged. I was deliberately focused on relaxing the body and letting go of feelings and thoughts. I was letting go of feelings in the body. The idea came to me that I was literally deconstructing my body by relaxing all my muscles and letting go of the feelings. The feelings felt like dissolving me and it was very pleasant. Like the deconstruction of the body is actually what feels like a cosmic orgasm. Everything disappeared except for my breath and a kind of peace or void. After what felt like only a few minutes my body appeared again and step by step my "world" reappeared. The experience of nothingness was but a faint dream. Thoughts and feelings came back strongly. I had what I identified hours later as an acute ego-backlash. I was angry, upset and horny. I watched Netflix and masturbated. I was very agitated for two hours until I fell asleep. The next day was quite normal. I really took me until this next day to make sense of what happened. I guess this was my first experience at the brink of a breakthrough. I think I did not break through entirely, because I still had some connection to my body all the time - I guess. I had no side effects. I hesitate to further increase the dose, because it is already that high. Also, I want to take it easy and practice letting go of desires in my normal life to be prepared for further ego backlashes. I'm also starting a business, so I can't afford serious destabilization. Next time, I will however be aware of the return of the ego and be prepared for some serious backlash. I intuit that real growth only happens if I am able to stay equanimous when the ego comes back. Then every time maybe only 95% will return. Just speculation.

He does speak about these things to some extent. In his video called an advanced explanation of God-realization he describes a trip he experienced on 5 MEO MALT where he became Omnipotent. But in general, he does shy away from the topic. I think mostly because he hasn't yet managed to bring the absolute down into his everyday life very well yet. So he's developed this belief that using God's capabilities for his own agenda is somehow wrong or even impossible. When the actual truth is that we're more than willing to do everything to fulfill his every desire because we perceive him to be our self as we are him(and that our self isn't a grammar error, we are one so it's our self, not ourselves lol). Perhaps a more concrete perspective would better solidify my point. After I originally discovered that reality wasn't as I was taught. One of the phenomena I studied which helped me to make sense of the world was the placebo effect. There's as of today an abundance of studies relative to this subject. But I'll mention just the example of the man credited for effect's discovery. Henry Beecher was a medic in WWII and when he rain out of morphine, he started using an inert solution before surgery and told the soldiers it was morphine. Something like 40% of the men he operated on didn't experience pain to such an extent they had no idea they'd been given a fake pain killer(they report no pain when being cut on). Now think this through, how are you to explain such a thing in a purely mechanical way that doesn't invoke the obvious possibility that the patient's mind alone caused the effect? And keep in mind that this cannot be explained away as coincidental. As the effect of the mind on the body is so powerful that it's necessary to test a fake drug against a "real" one to determine its legitimacy. And there are now many medically documented examples of things that would be medically impossible occurring in this domain. Like people going fully into remission from advanced cancer by taking a fake drug(and without changes in diet or anything that would seem remotely capable of affecting change other than the subject's perception that they should be healed). It's easier for some people than others, some even do it purely by accident. Yep They do, but they only work to a great degree if you repeat the practice rather a great deal. Exactly. You clarify your own misunderstanding towards the end of the paragraph. When I say that Delta(1-4hz) is the level of the Godhead I don't mean that as literally as you're interpreting it. When death occurs the mind expands everywhere(becomes Omnipresent, and therefore Omniscient as knowledge arises out of experience etc). If you were to become conscious while your brain is oscillating predominately in the Delta range, you would be so heavily connected to the Godhead that you could manifest your thoughts incredibly well(if you were competent enough at this level, you'd basically be a god unto yourself). However keep in mind, there are more variables affecting your power level than your degree of awareness of the unconscious(like your emotions for example). But all of these variables correlate with one another to a high extent(for example you become more powerful the sweeter and stronger your emotional expression, which causes you to be slightly more aware of deep levels of mind you're normally not aware of at all). Well, actually we're everywhere(as God) because we're everything. So in that sense, we do have a biological basis(as for instance God incarnate as you we have such a necessity because we imagine it to be so). When I say Godhead, I'm referring to God in the more dualistic way that people tend to traditionally think of us(which is the level of infinite mind, that is discarnate intelligence). And to what you said at the end, nonexistence is impossible. And another thing, nothing does not equal nonexistence(at least not when we say that we're nothing). This kind of nothingness/pure void exists, but it has no attributes. This is why it's the substance of which all realities and everything within them consists(as any attribute we have everything will have because everything is made out of us). That's precisely what I'm saying. Yes, the Delta level creates the Theta level, which creates the Alpha level, which creates the Beta level. And the Gamma level predominates when the subjective awareness of the ego becomes present in the lower Theta to Delta range(representing the presence of supernatural capacities in the sentient being in question). This is correct in the sense that if you want to function in an Omnipotent capacity, you want to be in Delta. But if you simply want to become Omniscient, it's easier as you only need to become all perceiving and all-knowing personally. For instance, let's say you want to know what's going to happen tomorrow. In order to accomplish this, it is not necessary that you send your body physically forward in time and then back to the present. You can simply command your mind to project to you the things that will occur(which can be done at a dramatically lower power level than full-blown physical time travel). The level at which this becomes most possible(and is, therefore, the level that is optimal relative to such an intention) is actually approximately 4.5hz(lower theta). When the brain shows predominately lower theta waves. Your mind is effectively at the portal between your human self and the Godhead which is creating everything and as such, you can retrieve any form of knowledge you want at that level.

Here I will be referring to Nibbana (or Nirvana in Sanskrit) mainly in two different capacities. The first will be satisfaction or happiness and the second will be referring to the cessation of perception, feeling, and experience sometimes called phala, fruition, cessation, or within the certain context of progressively reducing fabrication by going through the four formed and four formless jhanas in order to reach cessation which is called nirodha samapatti. The Easy & Predictable Nibbana The easy and predictable Nibbana is that of satisfaction. Satisfaction is a word which is commonly used as a translation of the Pali word sukha. Other translations of sukha come up with things like happiness or things which otherwise contribute to a feeling of general well-being and comfort. In many respects, the core of the Buddha’s teachings come down to dukkha and dukkha nirodha (the cessation of dissatisfaction/suffering) or in other words dukkha and sukha. Nibbana in this sense is as simple as becoming a master at bringing yourself to a state of satisfaction quickly and easily regardless of external circumstances. This type of Nibbana does not require gigantic blissful experiences and complex spiritual understanding, although these things don’t necessarily hurt. Being able to develop the skill of maintaining sati, or mindfulness, of the in and out breath which is called Ānāpānasati and described in the Ānāpānasati Sutta is the most straightforward path to developing this type of Nibbana. The whole of the Dhamma (or Dharma in Sanskrit) can be found in Ānāpānasati when it is practiced consistently enough and as insight into the nature of phenomena and reality is uncovered through this, but there are better meditation techniques for raw insight itself. Ānāpānasati is special because it uses an object of attention, or focus object, for the meditation which is a wholesome object that is accessible in almost all states. When attention goes to wholesome objects such as the breath or thoughts of comfort, safety, and other positive aspects of experience, satisfaction naturally rises. Eventually, this satisfaction and other factors of jhana become the objects of investigation and can be directly raised in a rather controllable way, but the main part of the practice is to develop one’s ability to give themselves a completely satisfying present moment experience. Building this ability is much like building a muscle. Consistent practice leads to increased ease when handling what used to be dissatisfactory in a way that can now be satisfactory. Intentionally slowing the breath to become long and easy in and out breaths slows heart rate and naturally reduces cortisol and adrenaline which contribute to anxious feelings and feelings of unease. Once you become better and better at creating satisfaction and breathing naturally rather than automatically, resistance to reality and the external world is heavily reduced. Previously challenging circumstances become easier and easier to quickly turn into a satisfying present moment experience. With this type of Nibbana, there is no moment of transformation in which you are “permanently enlightened.” Every moment is a new moment to either wake up to satisfaction or stay asleep in dissatisfaction. This practice is as simple as remembering to keep attention on the breath and satisfying and wholesome aspects of experience. An “end point” with this practice would look like having your brain rewired through consistent enough practice that satisfaction is almost always the case on its own and it can be immediately created, or rather found or remembered, in any cases where it might slip up for a moment. The Hard & Unpredictable Nibbana This is the type of spiritual awakening that most modern and western spirituality is often focused around when it comes to Buddhism. An important thing to mention is that many people chase this type of awakening for the purpose of transcending suffering which is something the easy and predictable path to the type of Nibbana mentioned above is quite good at. This second type of awakening and Nibbana is thought by some, such as Daniel Ingram, the author of Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, to occur at the first attainment of cessation or fruition and in subsequent cessations which often happen spontaneously during spiritual practice/daily life or intentionally through going through jhanas 1-8 resulting in a cessation which is called nirodha samapatti. This link to part of MCTB describes cessation and fruition: https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/15-fruition/ This link to part of MCTB describes nirodha samapatti: https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-v-awakening/37-models-of-the-stages-of-awakening/the-cessation-of-perception-and-feeling-nirodha-samapatti/ It’s important to note that cessation is the exact same from an epistemic perspective in both fruition and nirodha samapatti. It’s all simply a complete “gap” in experience, and nirodha samapatti does not on its own unveil any new insights which a close examination of a fruition can’t unveil. It is simply a hard attainment to reach and exciting for that fact alone and also a predictable way of reaching this second type of Nibbana. Reaching this second type of Nibbana, no matter how you get there or if it is fruition or nirodha samapatti, usually takes people years of spiritual practice. It does have quite profound effects and can contribute to a lot of insight which allows one to relate to previously dissatisfactory sensations in a less adversarial light. I call this the unpredictable Nibbana because it is completely unknown when you’ll first reach fruition. The first fruition appears to just pop up at completely different amounts of practice and types of practice for different people. Vipassana meditation techniques are quite effective at getting people to this stage, but many spiritual practices and meditation techniques done enough will lead to fruition or cessation. This type of Nibbana is rather complete, in a sense, because cessation is freedom from absolutely everything experiential. There are no samskaras, hindrances, selves, others, somethingness, or nothingness. There is no consciousness or awareness at all in cessation for any of those things in the previous sentence to appear in. There is no vantage point from which to even discuss nothingness or emptiness. There is no existence “in” this non-state. There’s quite literally nothing to it. This is precisely why this attainment is so transformative. It is the eradication of any possible sense of self while one is “in” cessation. It also shows impermanence by showing one what it truly would be like if existence disappeared and reappeared right before your eyes (your eyes are also part of what disappears and reappears, of course) giving the potential for a great deal of insight into what might have been before the conscious experience of being a human being and what might come afterward. There still feels to be some permanence to the human self structure and experience the way it is now before you see it all get eradicated by cessation. This also gives some insight into the nature of dukkha by showing just how much less suffering no existence or experience at all is compared to even the most rapturous and amazing existence or experience. Reaching cessation a number of times eventually unfolds a process which reveals new ways of perceiving the world. Eventually, the field of perception through all six sense doors gets fused into one sense door, emptiness can be directly grasped in all circumstances, the luminosity of all phenomena is unveiled, the impressions of concepts of things such as a physical body or gravity lose their power over perception, and the sense of self dissolves from an individual human being into the entire field of sensations which may be present at any given moment among many other things. All of these fancy things are helpful to the easy and predictable path to the first type of Nibbana in so much as they just provide more easily noticeable pleasant facets of reality to pay attention to and reduce the patterns of sensations which give experience the feeling of being only a human being with the rest of the world as an external entity which is in some way or another a dissatisfactory enemy to that imaginary self/soul. What should I do with any of this? This is ultimately up to you, of course, but I will say that both of these “types” of Nibbana contribute to the ability to live without the five hindrances and the ten fetters. Although I’m not by any means at the end of the road in regard to hindrances and fetters, it is very clearly noticeable how these two types of Nibbana contribute to one getting closer to that goal which one might call a third type of Nibbana which would be the moment-to-moment experience of an Arahant or in other words the moment-to-moment experience of one who lives without hindrances and fetters. The second type takes a lot of spiritual development to reach, but the first type only requires a consistent training of the mind to focus attention on wholesome objects and notice them with better efficiency. Both of these are very helpful to living a life with less dissatisfaction and more satisfaction. Most people chase the second type because they really just want the ability to feel more satisfied with life more of the time, and they think attaining cessation is the only way to do that. Even worse, people think attaining some experiential “heightened” state of consciousness is the only way to do that. Dissatisfaction can be turned into satisfaction in a much simpler way which is touched upon some in the first half of this post. Become mindful of the breath and the satisfactory parts of your experience by sustaining attention on them right here, right now, and your dissatisfaction will be lessened. Do that a lot in increasingly skillful ways, and you can make lemonade out of any lemons life has provided you.

December 18th 2021 LSD Trip 003 Beforehand I familiarized myself with several of Leo's teachings. Probably more than I name here: What is Consciousness? What is Actuality? What is Perception? What is Intelligence? What is Will? What Love? What is Death? Understanding Bias Guided exercise for realizing you are God? What is Fear? What is Reality? Integrating the lessons from building your existential vocabulary. Plus I have watched most of Leo's videos at least once. So I supposedly plugged around 75-80mcg And then supposedly took around 20mcg sublingually. (In total, only about 100mcg entered my body max.) So, if, theoretically, plugged doubles the dose, then I'm not at 75-100mcg But more like 150-200mcg >I totally forgot to set an classical focused intention. An intention such as: Contemplating what is consciousness. I just intuitively wanted to connect all my knowledge and go for ego death. I also wanted to see how far I could go into enlightenment work on just LSD, before pulling out the big guns of 5meo. In my mind, I figured that just a "simple ego death" was holding me back, and in theory that made sense, but what I am coming to learn is that the LEVEL of ego death required was more than just a simple fear wipe of questioning things like death. I really believe, there are different degrees of ego death. It's a spectrum. This also helps with understanding the idea of the degrees of awakening. Just what we call "ego death" or what we call "awakening" are just benchmarks into how deep your ego death/awakening is. >The intention I did have was a recipe for a rough trip, because in my mind I knew I was going to rub up against fear, so it was just a self fulfilling prophecy. >It came on so fast, so much faster than I was ready for. It freaked me out. Plus, I totally forgot what dose range I was in if plugging indeed doubled it. So I was thrown into a world of fear right away. It was super unepic. If I wasn't under the intention of consciousness work, then this hell I was about to enter would be demonized. But rather I later used my fear to understand what was going on as much as I could stomach. >At about 10 minutes in I already started to feel the effects kicking in. Visuals at 20 minutes Things are already moving at 24min All my plans are gone Like I forgot to set an intention. Growth happens a lot faster than you anticipate it. >The LSD came on so fast and so hard that it was mega anxiety inducing, like I felt I needed to explode! I NEEDED to die (ego death). That would be my only mercy. Which makes me ask exactly What an ego death is. Because I can cry and let go into the fear, and then the fear would be gone, but I know I could let go of my notion of physical perceived reality itself, and I would call that an even deeper ego death, a more true ego death I would say, where you actually let go of the notion that your body exists to begin with. >All the insights were interconnecting so much faster than I could stomach and handle. Like holy fuck this work is becoming REAL. >At one point while being super scared on the rough come-up, I think, for a brief moment, I became conscious of how I was imagining my skull. Later this fed deeper into my understanding in which how reality is held together with emotional glue. Your attachment is deeply intertwined with "physical" reality itself, which is WHY it's so goddamn terrifying to wipe away all these illusions and hallucinations that you as God has created for yourself. >A psychedelic, fundamentally, wipes away your imaginations holding reality together. Courage is walking while your feet are on fire. >When I wrote this I was mega scared, shit was fucked as fuck. I was walking into other rooms, changing my clothes, listening to different music, walking outside, walking inside, trying to change the environment, I was spiraling down more and more. I quickly learned that this was a loosing battle, and I had either the choice suffer, or go straight towards what I was fearing and kill my ego. My ONLY comfort was listening to Leo with his video: Guided Exercise for Realizing You are God. Trying desperately to ground myself by looking at my hand. Needless to say I may have taken too much. It was intense getting acclimatized to the new body load/higher vibration/whatever. LSD spirals you into the story you tell yourself. >Eventually I reached a point and I said, "I GIVE UP! I LET IT GO I LET IT GO, I LET IT GO! I LET IT ALL GO! >Then that eventually turned into crying and that was the BEST thing that happened on the trip. It felt AMAZING! Hooting and hollering, sitting on my kitchen floor. WAAAH! WAAAH! I wanted to cry louder but I was worried that the neighbours would hear and come and knock on my door. >My trip completely turned inside out from fear to bliss and calm. It was silent. I'm crying and crying I feels so good to cry At this point after the good cry, it was 2 hours and 30 minutes >I had my fear wiped away at this point. So it was easier to contemplate the tougher topics. I'm ready. What is death? I want to be able to look at my hand and then look at an object and not be able to tell the difference. >#Goals. Fear is the difference between what "should" be and what IS. Your stories, your attachments to what reality should be And what is. What is, is. I told a story to myself that the trip SHOULD come up X Fast, then it came faster, then I got scared. >The comeup was waaayyy too fast, super unexpected. Fear is feeling more of yourself. >You're just uncomfortable with feeling the parts of yourself that you fear. I was experiencing fear Then eventually I just let it all go because it drove me to tears, the pain. Then I was great. Then I'm coming down, and fear is setting in again. >I feel like I shed the fear that the ego created for me, and then the ego was clamping back down on me with more fear. The ego is encapsulated in a nest of fears to put it in a context. >Fears is what locks you into your paradigm. Death is the breaking apart of imagined boundaries. And there are emotions keeping them in place. Emotions are what reinforce the boundaries of reality. >I now see the role emotional mastery plays in awakening work. I need to read the book: Becoming Infinite. I'm thinking about how I need to shake loose the boundary between my emotions going in and out of death. In and out of the emotionally gated imagined boundaries. Like coming back down to earth so we speak, coming back down to earth is a process of fear. I think this is what can be described as the ego "clamping down" on you. That "clamping" mechanism is fears sneaking their way back into reality. And it's to FEEL deeply into the fear to get out of that clamping process. When talking about manifestation, manifesting a new reality, you must first lose your mind enough in order to consider the new possibility for a new reality to be created, then once that mind is open enough then you can actually make that the case. I'm starting to understand how rough it is to awaken. Consciousness work is some real manly shit. I would argue that it is more important to pay attention to the come up and the come down then the actual trip itself. Because it is in between you and the trip is where you want feel that very deeply to merge it with your actual reality. And in that merge is full of fear, is full of discomfort, is uncomfortable, makes you feel Fully Alive, makes you feel going insane, makes you scared, makes you psychotic. I understand why Leo says plugging is better with the slower come-up because you are able to understand what is happening to you. How to Merge with Enlightenment. Pay attention to that nothingness. Patiently keep yourself there as long as you can. Merge with it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am imagining a reality I have to figure out in order to manipulate. Like I am imagining the boundaries between me and greater knowledge. I'm imagining a "physical" world that I have to "do science" in. I understand the idea of a spiritual emergency. You need to take it to the end for that release. I understand how you can scare yourself off of psychedelics for awhile, when to deconstruct too much, too fast for you to handle. Too fast for you to accept and come to terms with. Learning to draw is LITERALLY learning how to create illusion. Selling something of "value" is LITERALLY selling an illusion. Simply because everything in reality is illusory! Psychedelics just shake boundaries loose, and creates new connections. What is an ego death? What is a "ego death"? What's the difference between letting go of the fear of death, and dying? What's the difference between letting go of the fear of death, and letting go of the idea that your body exists? "Ego death" appears to be a spectrum. Like there are many facets of reality that you can deconstruct that will also kill parts of your perceived self. I have created an understanding between Fear and Funny Fear is merging with an idea that you're close minded with. Merging your consciousness with a unpleasant idea. You cry when you merge with it. Funny its merging with an idea that you're open minded with. Merging your consciousness with a pleasant idea. You laugh when you merge with it. They're both just emotions to express the difference between merging with parts of yourself. >I'm starting to understand the possibility of being able to look at reality as imagination manifested as "matter". I had a serious curiosity to ask about death to the people around me, and I wanted to feel it deeply. And when I did, I cried and then felt love. I MERGED with it. 12 hours in, still tripping, still having visuals. >I think for me, LSD lasts at least 16+ hours, no matter the ROA. I am really understanding the value of curiosity in this work. If you're not willing to experience fear, you have no fucking chance of getting enlightened. Post Trip I woke up and I am stepping into a new sensitive energy body of myself. I feel like I've expanded a part of my consciousness into new areas that I was previously too scared to entertain. My mind is open enough to much more comfortably visualize the pain and suffering that goes around physical death or loss of self. Like, for example, I can more comfortably imagine my dog's jaw being ripped off, and explore the feeling of the pain of loss, investigate my attachment to my dogs being okay. Or imagining what it would mean if I lost my left leg. Investigating that idea and the feelings and attachments that come with it. I can imagine what it would feel like to live with loosing the fingers from my hand. I have a deeper understanding with the correlation with death and merging with infinite love. I learned if I am having a bad trip, I just need to lean into the fear and go for an ego death, then the fear gets wiped away. I'm learning that my notions of ego is much more deeply interwoven with "physical" reality than I previously understood. To Do Study books on 5MeO. Questions How do you define ego death? How do you define ego? Thanks for reading!

Just feeling whatever is there, and not expecting any love. I have found that if there is no love in the heart, it is either numbed and one feels nothing at all - and in this case it's important to feel that nothingness, that lack of energy, for it is an internalized feeling of lack, mostly through early trauma. Allowing this nothingness to be there reveals what is thought to be missing. But it takes time. The other possibility is that you feel pain in the heart. When you feel into it, it might turn into emptiness, or feeling into the emptiness can turn into feeling pain. It's like layers of feelings we deny ourselves to feel. Like an onion, allow these layers to fall off, just by feeling into the heart. In general, patience and the willingness to feel and to allow pain and fear is the key. And not expecting anything. Love is so easy when it feels safe. But mostly it feels abandoned or threatened and we need to deal with these shadows first. And one very powerful practice to open your heart to love is this one (has done soo much for me). Practice this every day and your heart will open quickly, guaranteed. And it will heal:

LOVE is not afraid of anything. Nothingness, everything, all possibilities which are infinite (Godel's Incompleteness Theorem:) are welcome. "Everything you can imagine it's true" - Pablo Picasso

I never had the chance to take Changa, but I did several Aya and San Pedro trips In Ecuador. They are not even close to being the same. I was lucky to find a Shaman that had over twenty years experience with both plants and he new exactly how potent his liquids were. Not all Aya and San Pedro solutions have the same potencies. Aya, which has DMT, will take you beyond the 3D reality into gradations of consciousness and awareness that can take you into multidimensional realities of Beingness all the way to the awareness of Nothingness, or what some people call the Void, Absolute God, Absolute Love etc. It will all depend on how advanced you are with your own beliefs, thoughts and emotions. What I mean by that, I believe the trip into expanded consciousness and awareness is depended on how your Ego interprets the expanded consciousness when you return to your base level. Your Ego can only digest and assimilate a micro segment of consciousness without damaging the stability of this reality that you are focused on, or in. That interpretation is strongly influence on the thoughts, ideas, images, beliefs, intentions, and emotions that you are attached to, which help you navigate in this limited 3D reality. That is why no two experiences are, or will ever be the same from our limited level of consciousness! As for San Pedro, it does not contain DMT, not that I am aware of. The Shamans in Ecuador believe that San Pedro is a Grandfather Plant that, when consumed is a heart opening medicine. During one of my experiences, I try to take as much San Pedro as I could, but was unable to release my physical image of self into the layers that DMT can go. What I experienced was an expansion of Compassion, Love, Harmony with all living Beings, including my "Self"! What I mean by Living Beings is/are Beings of consciousness which includes plants, animals, insects, rocks, water etc. and even our beloved Grandmother Earth’s consciousness. If you really want to take a trip, go into a sweat lodge with two Shamans that are masters with both teacher plants for several hours. During this experience you take both Aya and San Pedro at different stages, consuming both substance several times. I experienced being in multiple dimensional states simultaneously. My consciousness and awareness was floating freely wherever I focused my attention or intention. When I emerged from the sweat lodge, I was able to merge with the Shamans mind. We both communicated above language and words for several minutes. The heartfelt connection with all forms of consciousness was unbelievable. I was finally free to merge with everyone in the group and remain somewhat physically grounded in this reality. It is not an experience I have ever been able to duplicate since, but I do have short moments in the waking dream that touch it. Which brings me to the point I made above, not everyone has the same experience. There was only 2 or 3 of us, out of a group of twenty, other than the two Shamans that experienced that level of mind merging, . I believe your psychedelic experiences, and how much you expand and retain consciousness and awareness comes down to how open and unattached you are to your thoughts, ideas, images, intents, beliefs and emotions. That is why I am a strong advocate for people to do the “Work” of mastering your thoughts, ideas, image, intents, beliefs and emotions 24 and 7, because they shape your experience of this reality and beyond! Just sharing a few thoughts, ideas and beliefs etc.

There is very little profound revelation in that collapse. It is literally just making obvious that all you know is the contents of mind, emptiness (your substantive nothingness), the subjectivity of everything, etc. There is something to be discovered within that but it's not like you just suddenly know everything like the answer to questions like that. Some aspects of proclaimed "truth" could easily be pure delusional psychosis from drugs (or from any altered state). Some things are DEFINITE. Beyond any question. Knowable. Then other things which are just psychosis or faith.

There is appearance. To deny this is to deny existence itself, which is pure foolishness. Appearance and nothingness are not mutually exclusive.

Definitely.. therefore experiencing is just an illusion as just you or i. Because when you are nothing there is nothing to observe nor you nor i. Because of these you wrong about appearance happening within pure nothingness. Because nothing is happening. Any action any words comes from the ego as these sentences. Of course if you take these as sentences. Meanwhile, they are not. Any knowledge comes from the ego. Right Now is prior to birth. Thus, enlightenment is simply being where You already are.