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But lets say that I was envyous of someone like Eckart Tolle because he is enlighthened master. Then, I think that is a good form of envy if I can use it as motivation to become enlighthened myself and actually get some great Benefits such as: Ego death Unconditional self love Bliss Pure flow Being cognition etc. That would be envy working in your favour But it mostly does not Becuase the things you are envyous about like someone having a Nice car, good looks, great physique/appearance, etc. These things will never make you happy if you get Them unlike the holy grail - enlightenment.

@abrakamowse @Mal Thanks guys! I've actually been practicing mindfulness meditation pretty much daily for 7 months now. You might be right about there beeing thoughts in the middle of conversations @abrakamowse but I'm not aware of them if that's the case. I just get this unplesant feeling and wanting to escape the situation. However I can actually relate to what you're saying @Mal. About 3-4 months ago I had an experience during meditation. There was a distance between me and my thoughts and I could watch them pass by in a totally different way than I've ever could before. I've still never felt such bliss during meditation as I did that day. The following days where the best days of my life. I've never felt more alive or more 'me' than during those days. No insecurities, no hesitation, totally confident, but not in a cocky fake way. Just love and compassion. I remember thinking that the joy of expressing myself authentically makes me so happy, what else do I really need? What else can make me this peacefull? I DIDNT EVEN WANT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES, I'd sit and meditate instead(this is huge for me). During these days it seemed as though my entire reality shifted. Every interaction was different. People would open themselves up for me, in a whole new way. And I was totally clear in my mind, no stress(which I usually suffer from in my line of work). I can't really put it into words...I'd been shy, timid and a big people pleaser my entire life and much of it just disappeard over a very short period of time. However during these days while meditating, I remember feeling an intense fear, "Can life be this good?" "How long will this last?" "Who am I?" The "effects" slowly begun to fade away during the following weeks and months. I started getting stuck in my mind again. The thoughts started to feel "heavy" again and it felt like I was beeing possessed almost. I was getting back to my old familiar self again. And I don't like that guy I remember watching myself beeing shy again and thinking "What the fuck am I doing?". It almost felt like I was acting. Because I then knew it wasnt me, I've experienced me and that shy fearfull guy is not it. Today I'm totally back in beeing identified with my thoughts(monkey mind) and still fighting the same battle I did when I first started this Self-actualization journey. Also I just want to thank you guys for sharing your knowledge and advice about these things here. There is no one else I can talk about these sort of things about. Youtube is great but human interactions is something special. Truly, thank you!

Self-Honesty: Once you have had the first glimpse, that moment of REALIZATION, of always being THAT, perfect, infinite and timeless, the real path begins. What to look for - hindrances: SELF-agenda - more or less unconscious. If you want to become enlightened because it will bring you "{xyz}" , think again. What you are embarking on is a path where that self that is searching for whatever dreams it might have, THAT SELF, is not real. The self agenda might manifest as: wanting to feel good, wanting to become better, wanting to take advantage of, superiority issues, etc. Running away - if you are embarking on this path from a desire to run away from emotional/psychological/physical pain, again, think twice. How to recognize when you are running away as opposed to "dropping the story" (I will probably later on write an entire post on this): in essence, running away feels fearful and constrictive. It leads you into DOING: addictions, reading, Youtube, endless back and forth communication, sports, going out, etc. Bypassing - using spiritual concepts as a dogma. You remain at a level where, even though you know exactly what to say and do, you have accumulated TONS of information that you can provide (parrot), there is no real WORK being done. It is all at mind level. An analogy that I can find, is that you pretend that you are a world class cook, by showing your collection of kitchen utensils, ovens, cutting boards and other "paraphenalia", but in reality, you never cooked a single cake! *little note on last point: let's say that someone who ate a particular cake, is given the description of that cake by someone who only ever READ about it. The person that already ate the cake, will ALWAYS KNOW, and others might feel it too, that the other one only read about it. ADVICE: Follow your longing. Make this an absolute priority. When you have found something that resonates with you, STOP the search and work that tool! Working the tool means to really sit down and do whatever it proposed in it, as opposed to just mentally understanding the principle and moving on to the next thing. Ability to transcend deep inner programming: You do not need to go looking for things to fix or to transcend or to integrate. Life will put them right in front of you. I will give you a personal example: After my first full day of pure bliss, next morning came in with a loud bang: "why would YOU be enlightened?" - I had done enough shadow work by then (Teal Swan, Noaf Elkrief) to recognize immediately the "worthlessness" issue coming up to be looked into. I immediately begun working on that, and this is also when I found Mooji. So, whenever something comes up into your direct experience that feels anything less than pure bliss and acceptance, it should become like a bell for you that says: "LOOK INSIDE". Here is how to do that: ******* *** Focus and commitment: Once you have embarked on this path, NOTHING is apart from it! Everything is part of the letting go of what you thought it was YOU. You will have to find ways to keep focused and to go on, even and especially those days when everything will feel like death. Find a guide, a guru, an YouTube channel, a E-buddy, a teacher, etc. One note here: At one point, that too will need to be let go of. Sometimes, the "pull" of the first glimpse will be enough to keep you focused. Other times not - prepare for these times: keep "emergency" aid at hand (this post might be one), favorite videos, techniques, people, etc. Use everything you can to move you forward.. Willingness to accept that...you're wrong! Having an open ear and open eyes - being able to listen and to read "spiritual concepts - is not enough. Actually integrating these concepts demands the willingness to admit that your old paradigm is..."wrong". Become aware of your own barriers inside that stop new perspectives from actually effecting your notions about the world and yourself

This topic is intended to help those of you who are seriously pursuing enlightenment work. A bit of a "dictionary" of terms, as they will be used here: I = life = this = God enlightenment = realization of no-self = "pathless path" / "gateless gate" E-Work = enlightenment integration work Let's begin. Awakening tends to just happen. Either is it a result of profound suffering or dissatisfaction, or it may just happen at a random moment in life. The best that I can describe it is like the awakening in the morning. If you look with awareness at that time when you first wake up, you will notice that there is a moment where something is REALIZING that it is awake. * a good habit is to become very aware of the few seconds just before you go to sleep, and few seconds just when you wake up. It is a sort of an "awareness training" that would give you many insights into how mind seems to work. Even though it is personal and it may manifest in different ways, the GENERAL flavor of this awakening is one of complete acceptance, love, oneness and peace. Here is what I wrote the day I had the first glimpse: What I didn't understand at that time and what took me completely off guard, was that... it was JUST an experience that came and it was going to go. The journey that took me from there to here is what I want to concentrate on here. It is ESSENTIAL that you understand that an enlightened being, I prefer the term "free" or "liberated" being, is not one living in the above mentioned pure bliss. Not in the beginning. Not even very soon. The length of this path to full bliss is dependent of several factors: Self-honesty ability to transcend deep inner programming focus and commitment

Week 1 … and the devil wrestled with himself for a week and he put on a great show for god. *** Hours sat: 33 Current Daily Average: 4.7 Experiences: Extreme pain in knees and buttocks Lingering pain in shoulders/neck Pressure in skull Headaches/migraines Extreme negative emotions – Terror, Rage Extreme positive emotions – Joy/Bliss Love Anxiety attacks Sexual arousal Irregular pounding heart beat that could be felt throughout body Increased heart rates Adrenaline Spontaneous muscle spasms and locks esp. in core Violent Shaking Sweating Shivering Internal resistance – like a volcano was erupting below by navel, spewing hot lava up into my thorax Tight chest Laboured irregular breathing – I do long distance running and I experienced a shortness of breath/burning sensation in lungs that occurs when running above lactate threshold Crawling / tingling sensations (like insects were running over my body) Nausea Claustrophobia Suicidal thoughts Clenched jaw, grinding teeth General malaise Difficulty sleeping, vivid dreaming Fatigue / exhaustion Depression Feeling of impending death Insights: 1. There is suffering 2. This is quite abstract, but I want to explain how the insight happened. I was watching the music video below (Snakadaktal - Hung On Tight). I thought of his awakening at the beginning of the video to be symbolic of my first awakening. He then sits up and looks at his reflection in the mirror, symbolic of re-identification with ego. He then goes on to try and continue a dead party, pushing people aside and hurting himself, whilst singing “I hung on tight..” I realised that I have been clinging onto my previous experiences and that this has been a source of great pain. In other words I've been trying to keep a dead party going by living from the MEMORY of my past experiences rather than by embracing the experience that is unfolding before me NOW. I already understood this intellectually of course, but the insight sunk down into my bones when I watched this, it clicked into my being. I cannot grasp enlightenment, I cannot effort enlightenment, I cannot hold enlightenment. It changed from an insight I learned, to an insight I earned. I came to understand what Mooji is talking about when he talks about the “final ace up the sleeve of the mind” The meditation session immediately after was much easier. I was able to bathe all of the negative experiences in a much clearer awareness. Awareness that was not fragmented by the mind. Whilst the experience was still horrible, I was able to sit perfectly motionless for the full 3 hours. The edge had been taken off of the suffering because I was much more present with the sit. It's very relieving to know that the process is already delivering results.

Hello Friends This is my first time!! expercience with strong determination sitting (sds) English is not my native language, but i read a lot in english and i learn now words/vocabulary every day. Feel free to correct me if you see a mistake! I meditate every day (very few exeptions to be honest) since 8 weeks. Started with mainly breating and mindfulness-meditation lately nothingness-meditation. I already see positive effects. Beeing more calm/balanced, more productive (i did a LOT! of stuff in the last 2 weeks only, seemingly without effort and without forcing myself, i just did it!), less self-hating ^^(yes i told myself sometimes how bad my life is/ or how good it WAS before i srewed up etc...) less complaining and more pro-active behavoir, and i feel im on the right path! Work to do! I just did 80 Minutes of SDS. It was totaly different from what i expected, it started of quite underwhealming for me just to bring me to places where i wasnt able to get to in the last 8 weeks with my other medi-techniques! Now that i did it i can say im glad i did and i will continue with sds every day throughout march. I feel like maybe 10% of this firsttime i can NOT recreate, but 90% of what i expericed can be accuratly be recalled. here and there might be a small chronologic jump. Some of this protocoll is "direct speech" or "flow of consciousness-speech" and some of it i edited into correct sentences.^^ 1. THE START I was sitting on my chair, silent humming of my refridgerator in the other room, i put on a sweater so getting cold wont be a topic/additional distraction, since i expect the partice of sds to be hard from what i read about it. straight back sitting on my chair i close my eyes... after 10sec already ^^ omg! how long am i in this? 10sec maybe? shit! a THOUGHT!!... wait it is ok im alowed to think in this one. but i didnt think a lot i didnt try to think something actively most of the time but it felt comfortable knowing that if i do, it is not a problem. god! this is borring! and also way to easy i just sit here ..so what? how long now? 5minuntes maybe? ...im made for this. this is waaaay too easy slight pain in the back ..maybe a 2 on a scale from 0 to 10. i can ignore it. Thought occurs: probably becasue im a sportive guy i released all my body energy already by doing gym-work and badminton yesterday so my body feels realy calm, maybe those ppl who struggle with "sds" are all overweight americans ^^ (sorry guys!^^) they think it is so hard but actually im way better than them... (ofc you are) how long now? 10minutes maybe? this is so easy what´s the point? should i even go on? couldnt i use my time better? couldnt i use the 80minutes for breathing meditation or nothingness meditation (which i did the last week every day and felt positive about it since i did it even thou i found it extremly hard to do the first times) wouldnt that be a better use of time , maybe im not made for this? WOuldnt it be better to stop now and do something else something "harder" .... pain in the back goes up to 3 ..still i ignore it. OR!! now a different thought occured... since i find it so easy...can i do this even longer than 80minutes ? i could do 5 hours...i can just ignor my timer when it goes of and do it longer they will be so impressed on the forum if i tell them^^ wait isn´t it a realy bad reason to want to impress people? i realized that impressing is kinda important to me and it is no coincidence that i want to do it here in this practice too and this might be my first small realization. I was not thinking: I SHOULD NOT impress or swearing i will never try to impress someone again from now ..but just realizing / narrating to myself objectively that i DO have the tendency to wanting to impress ppl in the last months/years and i felt intuitivly that is not realy something im proud of ^^ and i should keep an eye on that! ..nothing more and norhing less for the moment then my handy rang ..shit! (the first call). who could it be? someone at work, they sometimes call me when they need something i must help them out with, or maybe i forgot something important...nah! maybe my friend is calling asking me if we go bouldering today? but i cant since i hurt my ankle at badminton yesterday... maybe my father is calling? maybe i did something wrong maybe my aunt asking me if i can go buy food for my grandmother? it stopped ringing. it is not imporant right now...i have my free day, i dont have to take calls. i wont die! if i dont take the call.. it is fine! ok back to: this is easy im made for this, then i felt bad : pain in the back increased to 4-5, still no problemo but it is annyoing. leo said it will be worth to do "sds" maybe he doesnt know that im different, that it is too easy for me. if he could see how easy i sit here for like 15minutes now he would recommend me to do "breathing meditation" instead or someting else. ------------- 2. BREAKING UP then my state kinda changed and i cant quite remember / reconstruct how it exactly came to be. i didnt feel a hard change while i was doing it, but recalling it is a bit foggy for me. i know it had something to do with this: for some reason i cant quite remember the cause (althou it is probably secondary) i felt guilty , maybe because i mooved a bit while i shouldnt? and i went like: you piece of shit! you mooved! you failed..you fucking idiot! and i sometimes talk to myself in that way always implying that i dont realy mean it, it is more to motivate me ^^ now i realized that it is not realy helpful if i insult myself for doing something wrong?! also somehow that everytime i realize something, learn something about myself, i feel like there is the old me (not knowing the new thing) and the new me (knowing the new thing) and then the 2 are getting into a kind of micro-fight with each other, who´s the better "I" ...i realized this is fucking tragic! WTF am i doing? i realzied and remembered that i do this on a daily basis never beeing able to see what happens...that 2 mini-egos fight each other over who is the boss! first i felt mooved by this realization ...it wasnt realy crying. just feeling realy mooved by realizing how i get into arguments with myself, beeing able to see how sad this is! 2 tears went from my eyes, 1 right and 1 left. It didnt feel like crying, just like water is coming out of my eye. both waterdrops went down my face to my mouth and the right one was bigger i guess and went further to my chin. i felt something changed, i knew this place where i am now. i realzied that i have so many unrealsitic ideas about getting enlightend or the way i can change throu meditation, i can become this new "super human" kind of guy almost godlike ^^ in a way , my goals are actually ridicoulous i realized now, it will make "click" and im perfect i will understand everything and be happy for all the time ^^ i know and i knew of course: that cant be achieved it is just a child fantasy but at the same time a part of me still wants that or wanted that, i also cant exclude that the wish wont appear ever again , it probably will but next time it comes i can see it from another persepective. because now that i have seen what it ACTUALLY means to learn something about myself, to starting to know myself better, i realized what i can actually get from meditation and how it is so much more worth to me than beeing perfect and happy all the time or even like beeing a super-alfa-male 24/7 ^^ i thought about how tragic humans are, how most of them try their best to be happy (like me) but they only cause pain in themself and others cause they dont know what they do and what they are. the difference between the human intention to do good and actualy doing harm without knowing made me cry. it was too much at that point. it seemed so sad, so heartbreakingly tragic that all those peolpe realy honestly want to be happy but they all fail cause they dont understand shit ^^ 2 more tears go down my face... (now comes a part which does not! represent any political standpoint on the question of how to treat criminals, but it is rather an experience in empathy and seemingly understand the suffering of a psychopath/murderer) the topic about why people do bad things without knowing it took me to the question about criminals. why do some people kill others. why do some people become insane killers. are those people realy evil, or are they just completly diconnected from their own inner life from their emotions. what is wrong with them? of course i want them to be locked away and in prison but also i thought maybe they are helpless. what kind of pain must have been inflicted on them in order to create such personalites that can´t feel for others anymore that are completly numb. i saw those killers as childern and feeling sorry for them getting beaten in fact i thought: how dare i - how ignorant of their suffering do i have to be to judge those people i have no idea what they went throu!! start crying again this time with opened mouth , couldnt keep it closed , felt like caughing in an emotional way realized i should return to my pratice to not moove now but it is fine i mooved affectivly couldnt stop it now return to pratice... i thoght this year had already had 8 weeks and in this last 10minutes i had more meaningfull personal realizations about myself and the world than in the last 8 weeks. even thou i did my routin, 1 hour meditation , breating medi, body scan sometimes, nothingness medi the last week which realy felt like stepping it up for me, but i usualy had only positiv feelings, i smiled i had moments of joy even bliss in the meditation, i even had moment where i went: oooh! THAT`S WHO i am , or Ohhh! right im not that (rather abstractions/ feelings almost autosuggestive realizations) also i faced fear (in one of my first meditations in january i had the sense that someone stands behind me and wants to murder me ^^ i sat though that and made me face it ..it never came back or only in a softer form and then it went away) i never had concrete realizations about myself, what EXACTLY almost scientificaly it is that i am, what i do, how i behave. this time i had that and it made me cry i felt that having an epiphany that makes you cry because your realze how wrong and almost tragic your behaviour is worth more than smiling or feeling bliss... then again i realized that there is probably a time for each of them i wouldnt want only crying all the time ^^ but for now im realy glad i could get those insights! ------------------ 3. CALMING DOWN / JOY i hoped i can recall everything or maybe the most important things for people to read beacuase i also enjoy reading such protocols by others to kinda see what they saw. also i realized that by beeing prepared to narrate my experience it made the experience more clear for me. it reminded me of this psycho-therapy technique of just narrating what happend without judging, just objective desciption of events. i feel i was able to do this for the most part in the last 15minutes of this sds. i wished for it to end now and i felt like i realy enjoy it. i thoguht ok it was enough now. i have to write it down and let it breathe take a break now. OR! maybe i could go even deeper now...but there is still time the next weeks i will do this daily. so no hurry! i felt realy relaxed now, my back pain had completely gone and instead i felt warm and unified like ... you may laugh now: i felt like a banana it must sound horrible but it was realy funny and i had to laugh myself when i tried to explain to myself how i feel now and i came up with the banana comparison ^^ my body feeling was good i felt like one huge slightly rounded thing beeing whole. i felt like i expanded. i could still feel my body borders as a silouette but i was also in the whole room filling it up, it was realy nice! i felt refreshed and i enjoyed it. ----------------------- 4. LAST MINUTES / WORK TO DO... one time at the end maybe 5-10 minutes before the alarm went of i licked my lips and i thought ..awww np i wont tell them! wait what? im going to lie about stupid shit like that just to make me look better ^^ LOL i had to chuckle this is ridicoulous ..did i actualy just thought about lying , trying to make me look better even i realized earlyier in the sds that i shouldnt do that. that i should try to impress people. here i also had to smiled and realize it will take MORE! than only realizing things to stop bad habits in myself, bad habits have a momentum they are automatic almost and i have to be aware of them and stop them everytime they will occur in the next weeks/month. then i went nah ok...ofc i will tell becasue if i lie that makes me feel bad.. then i realized not lying just because you feel bad is also not a realy good reason isnt it? but i couldnt think of a better reason right now and i felt no urge to do so since im mainly supposed to sit still in this technique. then the second call came... i thought np. i wont answer it is fine... it stoped 1minute later the alarm went of. i did it! 80 something minutes... i waited the alarm to stop /wanted to do bonus time for some reason and then when it stopped i breathed sometimes in and out streched my back, and then started to open my eyes...eyelashes beeing glued together by dried tears ^^ i felt fine. i want to write down everything...here i am!

@Mal Nihilism is a belief that life has no intrinsic meaning or value. Belief is a construct of thoughts. Thought content is illusory. Illusion is the opposite of reality. Reality is truth. Ok, so what is reality existentially? Pure transparent empty awareness. It's everything (all forms seen and unseen) and nothing (everything beyond object reality). Notice - it's not just 'nothing', that 'nothing' is actually 'something' special, and it's 'EVERYTHING' as well. Nihilism would only suggest the 'nothing' part. It would be impossible to integrate and include nothing into nothing. Object/ form reality is to be taken into consideration - manifest unfolding, the means awareness happens to experience itself. There is no denial in that everything is just happening for whatever reason or no reason at all. We now know from neuroscience that our unconscious brain processes 11 million bits per second (10 million times as fast a computer), but our consciousness is only 60 bits per second. That means we have no idea what we're doing So sometimes not knowing comes as a relief and in those brief moments we rest in the bliss of 'this'. So go ahead and use the 60 bits you got to appreciate a song and a story - both NOTHING and EVERYTHING, life at play, a miracle, reality, truth. Hugs Edit: Just thought of adding Ayla's thread 'Mind Attacks After Initial Seeing', you might also find helpful:

@jes Can we define ego a little? In my eyes the word ego gets thrown around too much. I'm guilty of this too. But can we really speak about "ego" and the subtle differences between manifestations of the ego's efforts, in contrast to egoless "suchness" (aka "what is" "this" "liberation") until we have a real experience of what it is to be in a state of "egoless-ness". Do we as members of the spiritual community blame everything that seems "bad" on the fault of the ego? How about we try to experience what it is like for the "I" to collapse, and then look at what is left? There are feelings. Emotions. I know that for sure. We have this distorted idea that enlightenment is suddenly this pure state of perfection, pure bliss, pure heaven. This idea is not accurate. The realization of no "I" is just very normal. It's more real that the warped state when the "I" is in charge. A simple pointing out instruction is this: All there is, is sounds. Sensations. The felt sense of my ass on the cushion and my breath rising and falling. Whatever is arising is just arising for nobody. This is the easiest way to differentiate between the feelings of the ego, and the feelings of true nature. You are right about the reaction thing. But I've noticed this only occurs when the ego is strong, the sense of self contracts and pushes out impulses and projects them onto the environment. So, it can be said that shadow only appears when the ego is in charge. I thought this distinction would come in handy

Ayla's enjoying the sweet taste of bliss. Noticing the sensations in body and the thoughts passing by like clouds. Not attaching has become natural, cause there's nothing to attach to or from or with. Ayla's noticing how bliss isn't being pushed against. Even though it comes and goes, exactly like the hell... there's no desire to push it back! Also, exactly how it does for the hell, body reacts heavily to it...mostly tingling ripples! **************************************************************************** NOTHING to wish. NOTHING to solve. NOTHING to do. NOTHING to understand. NOTHING to fear. NOTHING to push against. NOTHING at all!

LOL It's better! (If there is such a thing better than cheesecake?!!) No, you can't think of everything as a manifestation of your True Self until you have had an experience of the Absolute. This is why we must taste it first. This is why I said it won't make sense to you at the moment. However, the reason I dropped it into my original advice for you is that you were struggling to accept reality, but accepting reality first means we accept that we don't like certain parts of reality! Because our resistance is also part of reality! Always work with your inner reality first and as you develop you will be able to integrate more of the outer reality. I made these distinctions so that you can see how acceptance of reality unfolds in stages. We don't have to be at one with the universe now, we can only be who we are, so we start there The you isn't testing you, the Divine does not discriminate or answer prayers like the God of our monotheistic religions. It could be said that growth is a process of becoming "one" with reality gradually and learning to co-operate with it. For example, at our moment of death it could be said that we have grown and developed sufficiently if we are at peace with the inevitable. If we're sorrowful and full of regret we are still immature and resisting and didn't really grow up during our lifetime. From the perspective of the Absolute everything happening on this planet "is as it is". Grace is being able to co-exist with reality even if it hurts like hell. There is no escaping reality, a lot of teachers try to hide in the Absolute bliss states. These people are not enlightened according to the wisdom traditions. Maybe you have some cultural conditioning about what the Divine really is? This might sound crazy, but if you think about it, it's more real than trying to create a utopia: Consider this: How do you really know, as an individual ego, that the suffering and separation on this planet is always completely negative? Some suffering helps people grow into better human beings. Wars have been fought and countless lives destroyed for modernity and freedom of speech. How can we as people decide what is best for the world? We don't. We only have our limited perspectives. And even if we all got our wishes granted, it would never work, because one persons idea of heaven is different to another persons. Doesn't this sound more Truthful than a utopia?

Sort of The more you develop the more you will understand that those acts are manifestations of your own True Self. It will hurt more, but bother you less. In Zen there is a path to full Enlightenment called "Tozans Five Ranks". It explains what full enlightenment is, which is not Absolute Truth bliss state, but an integration of the Relative and Absolute - which means that this relative world with all it's separation and suffering IS a manifestation of the Absolute, or Divine, God Head (whatever you want to call it). It also means that there is nothing outside of you that can truly harm you. It's all "you". But first we need to taste Absolute Truth

@Mostafa Kibar why did you start your course? What aspirations did you have before starting... Get in touch with that, don't just study for grades or anything external. If you think this is not the right degree for you change it do what you love, follow your bliss find the courage to do it I'm searching my purpose now after i completed a degree I'm not really passionate about.

To be honest im not working towards enlightenment to bring joy or happiness to myself. My purpose is to block unnecessary emotion and to get out of suffering. especially this disguesting, sick, dying body. Of course I'm still happy and healthy since I'm only 22. But.... nothing stays forever. It is totally ok not to be happy or bliss or in peace as long as I don't reborn.

Thanks, @Saarah @Kenya. You make some great points. I love the "follow your bliss" advice but I forget it too often. Already I'm seeing the possibilites that drawing can have.

Music is great. It has the power to elevate your emotions to a blissful state, and evoke energy in your body especially through dancing or singing. A sad song can allow you to accept that emotion, removing your resistance to it. Listening to music can be a very powerful form of meditation. When listening you may find all of your attention focused entirely of the rhythm, placing you wholly in the present moment, ceasing your thoughts, forcing you to forget yourself for the time being. On a related note; I'm not sure why some people on this forum are so content on labelling so many things as a 'distraction', particularly hobbies, friendships and other things which bring joy and passion. Perhaps they haven't experienced the fulfilment and bliss which can come when really actualising these things (from a Being oriented perspective). Actualisation is the easiest path to Transcendence. People will naturally tent to Transcend when fully immersed in what they love.

@Natasha @Salaam Hi to you both, For what it's worth, and if either of you are interested at this point... I happen to think this is a very fruitful dual going on. I'm enjoying the back and forth of high quality information coupled with insight.... and adherence to view! If either of you are interested in a quick "kensho" here is a pointer: @Natasha Salaam is actually completely grounded in reality, you just don't want to see it because you're clinging to your view. @Salaam Same goes for you! Both your views are just views. The first one to drop their defensive position against reality right now wins a satori! Enjoy the bliss! Regards Mal

@Natasha No, you believe all of the above and project those beliefs onto other people. Reality works differently than your beliefs, which is why I have the capabilities I have and you don't. You don't do the stuff I do now. Can you slow down time so you can catch all the different split-second gyrations of the structures working behind the thinking/narrating mind? Have you differentiated all those structures so you can work with them directly instead of "thinking"? Can you choose when to take control of your thoughts and when to let them automate? Can you learn anything you want? Have you uncovered for yourself the structural elements of learning? Do you have the ability to track how the belief/internalization system works in the body? Can you choose and effect the chemistry of what you trust/internalize? Have you developed your inward and outward sensitivities to be able to feel the chemical build-up that comes from the respiration of your cells? Can you track the chemical by-product of certainty, over-excitation, delusion, and fear? Have you harmonized your core fears? Have you bridged pain and pleasure, so even pain brings tension euphoria? Have you developed and harmonized your digestion, to improve intuition and automation? Can you feel tension at all times, like a second set of emotions, that you feel in parallel with emotions? Can you create euphoria, bliss, darkness, light, and access different parts of your personality, whenever you want? Can you choose your flow states? Are you aware of how the brain partitions different realities and can you maintain tension, so the shift isn't wiped from your memory after it happens? All of the above are things I actually do. Trust me, you have no idea what it is I do and how ignorant your beliefs and projections are to me.

I did Leo's "Do nothing" meditation for 2 hours and felt this amazing sense of bliss, not related but would just like to add

@ChimpBrain Exactly, there is a huge difference between having an emotional "experience" and actually changing and improving who you are at a base level, that gives you an expansion of practical application. I can create bliss and euphoria all I want, but I don't use that to gauge progress. It's about how have you changed when your calm and back to base-line and is that change progressive? What's been added on to who you are? Has your sensitivity changed? Can you hold more dimensions within your focus? Has your pacing changed? How have the structures inside you shifted (once you're sensitive enough to even feel such things)? How has your resiliency improved? Changes in Health, Connection, Capability, Expression, and Choice. Not how "high" you're getting in a single moment.

@Lha Bho some pretty disappointing answers so far huh? Pretty much everyone's answer here was all focused on one narrow thing, usually revolving around some sort of comfort. I want to be happy, I want to feel bliss, I want to feel like everything is a game and I don't have to risk or feel any more stress. I wanted to be connected and consumed by some fantasy land collective being, so I don't have to worry about anything any more and just float along in cosmic bliss. It's like, everyone wants to go back to being coddled like a fucking baby. Ha, fuck that. The happiness and the bliss and not wanting to suffer anymore, I completely get that and I've achieved that. I can feel bliss and happiness whenever I want and I never suffer anymore, because I'm never a victim. Bliss is kind of boring to me by itself actually, but it's a useful feeling to add into myself when I'm resting. But, the real shit is in what you build and create and discover for yourself and then give to who you choose. Your presence, your core, your soul, whatever you want to call it grows. You get to choose what you add on to it while also gaining and expanding other abilities. You can feel more deeper things than anyone can imagine, your stronger and pain and stress isn't as big of a deal, so you can choose to reach and process depths of yourself that require very strenuous undertakings. Your reflexes are faster, you can slow down your perception of time, you understand the elements of learning and can learn whatever you choose. You gain way more capability with your body and have many more things besides the mind to interface with. You gain whole new sets of sensations and skills that you use in parallel with your emotions. Passion and motivation are yours to cultivate as you choose and you have the strength to build it from the scarcest of environments. You build you own world, own beliefs, manage your own ignorance and limitations. and every step you take shows you more and more of what the world really is and how it's all up to you, to build something worthwhile for yourself. No one will save you or do it for you, but you don't need them to, because you've grown into this titan of a person who can handle it and build an oasis in the wasteland. It's about getting good at life. Nature is both brutal and beautiful and the side of nature your on, comes down to how the quality of this you that you've built can handle the rigors of brutality and savor the mysterious nature of it's beauty. Bridging both extremes and everything in between, so you pick and choose how to create the best of all worlds. Fuck a passive life. Every single fiber of my being is involved in creation now. I get to evolve based on my own design and it's my favorite fucking thing to do.

Enligthenment is truth realization. NOT bliss, NOT love, NOT a feeling of exctasy. What you feel during at enlightenment is irrelivant. Alot of spiritual teachers really stress this point, especially Rubert Spira, Jed Mckenna and Peter Ralston. As Peter says "Enlightenment is not bliss, however bliss might occur from a mind that has been set free, but that is not the enlightenment."

@Alexandre I question this all the time myself. Not exactly "identify", but more as to except the fact that mind is a part of reality. What is constant? The mind constantly witnessing a changing existence. Through the mind and a sense of I'ness, it experiences existence expressing itself in an infinite number of forms and also the realization of the oneness behind the many. Isn't that part of the miracle of existence expressing itself through the minds awareness of it? There is no "I" - O.K., but what is this unshakable witness that experiences this beautiful diversity of existence expressing itself in so many different forms? What sees these posts and responds to them? Something remains. Everything is in balance when the one is realized as being the source of the many within this realm of physical reality. That is not to say that mind will than cease to exist or we should deny it's existence if the one is realized as the true source of the many. I'm not talking to a point of fault as ego/self that excludes the whole, but to the point that diversity can be appreciated in each individual expression by the mind. I can only go by my experience of the one expressing itself in a multitude of beautiful expressions within existence through the minds eye. by Steve Taylor. If there is one concept which has been under constant attack by psychologists and philosophers over the last few decades, it is the idea of ‘you’ – that you are a real entity or ‘self’. Many modern philosophers and scientists suggest that this sense of being ‘someone’ is illusory, or just a simple product of brain activity. Somehow the billions of neurons in your brain work together to produce it, and all of the thoughts and feelings which it incorporates. This view was expressed very graphically by the scientist Francis Crick, who wrote that: ‘You, your joys and your sorrows, your memories and your ambitions, your sense of personal identity and free will, are in fact no more than the behavior of a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules.’ From a less biological perspective, the philosopher Daniel Dennett speaks of the illusion of the ‘Cartesian Theatre’, the sense that there is ‘someone’ in our heads looking out at a world ‘out there’, and also watching our own thoughts pass by. In reality, says Dennett, there are only mental processes. There are streams of thoughts, sensations and perceptions passing through our brains, but there is no central place where all of these phenomena are organised. Similarly, the psychologist Susan Blackmore has suggested that the self is just a collection of what she calls ‘memes’ – units of cultural information such as ideas, beliefs and habits. We are born without a self, but slowly, as we are exposed to environmental influences, the self is ‘constructed’ out of the memes we absorb. Modern neuroscience seems to reinforce such views. Neuroscientists claim to be able to ‘locate’ the parts of the brain responsible for mental phenomena such as aesthetic appreciation, religious experience, love, depression and so on, but they haven’t found a part of the brain associated with our underlying sense of self. Therefore, they feel justified in concluding that this doesn’t exist. ‘Ghosts don’t Exist’, says the Ghost There are many problems with the attempt to ‘reduce’ our sense of self to brain activity. This is related to ‘hard problem’ of explaining the origins of conscious experience – so-called to distinguish it from the ‘easy problems’ of mental abilities and functions such as memory, concentration and attention. Whilst we might be able to understand these phenomena, the problem of how the brain might produce consciousness is on a completely different level. The brain is just a soggy clump of grey matter – how could that soggy mass possibly give rise to the richness and depth of consciousness? To think that it could is a ‘category error’ – the brain and consciousness are entirely distinct phenomena, which can’t be explained in terms of each other. And on a more practical basis, after decades of intensive theorising and research, no-one has yet put forward any feasible explanation of how the brain might produce consciousness. The ‘hard problem’ seems completely insurmountable. There is a basic absurdity in these attempts to show that the ‘self’ is illusory. They always feature a self trying to prove that it doesn’t exist. They are caught in a loop. If the self is an illusion to begin with, how can we trust its judgements? It’s a bit like a ghost trying to prove that ghosts don’t exist. Perhaps it may be right, but its illusory nature doesn’t inspire confidence. Dennett and Blackmore are presuming that there is a kind of reliable, objective observer inside them which is able to pass judgement on consciousness – and that presumption contradicts their own arguments. That is the very thing whose existence they are trying to disprove. Related to this, there is a problem of subject/object confusion. All of these theories attempt to examine consciousness from the outside. They treat it like a botanist examining a flower, as an object to scrutinize and categorize. But of course, with consciousness there is no subject and no object. The subject is the object. You are consciousness. So it is fallacious to examine it as if it is something ‘other.’ Again, you are caught in a loop. You can’t get outside consciousness. And so any ‘objective’ pronouncements you make about are fallacious from the start. An interesting question to ponder is: why do human beings invest so much energy into trying to prove that they don’t exist? Why do scientists and philosophers seem so intent on proving that they themselves are illusions? Perhaps there is a kind of repressed suicidal impulse at work here. Perhaps the individuals in question experience a deep-rooted self-hatred and an impulse for self-destruction which, at conscious level, has been translated into an impulse to negate their own identity and existence. More likely, though, these views are symptom of the general nihilism of our culture, the collapse of values which has followed from materialistic science. The fact that these theories have become prevalent, despite being fallacious, shows how well they fit to the present ‘zeitgeist’. Subjective Investigation So does the self exist? Is there really anybody there inside your own mental space? I think the best way to answer the question is to take a different approach. Rather than attempting to analyse consciousness from the outside as if it is an object, the best approach is to embrace subjectivity, and delve into your own consciousness. Try meditation, for example. In deep meditation, you might find yourself in a state of complete mental quietness and emptiness, with no thoughts, no perceptions, no information processing, no concentration. In fact, this state can be seen as the ‘goal’ of meditation (at least according to some traditions). The philosopher Robert Forman has called it the ‘pure consciousness event’ – a state in which consciousness exists without content, and rests easefully within itself. I have experienced this state myself, and am familiar with its qualities. Paradoxically, although consciousness is empty, it has a quality of fullness too. It appears to be full of energy – a powerful energy which has a quality of well-being, or even bliss. (This is what Indian Vedanta philosophy describes as satchitananda – being-consciousness-bliss.) There is also a quality of spaciousness – somehow my own consciousness seems to become wider and larger, to spread beyond my own brain or body. This can lead to a sense of connection or even oneness – a feeling that my consciousness is merging with a force or energy which somehow seems fundamental to the world, or the cosmos. But most importantly in terms of my argument in this article, in these moments, one of the qualities of consciousness is a sense of ‘I’. There is still a sense of identity, even if this sense may be different to the identity of a normal state of consciousness. This identity does not feel separate or boundaried. It feels part of a greater unity, but still has a sense of I-ness. You could compare it to a wave having a sense of its own existence of a wave but at the same time being aware of itself as a part of the sea. There is still an ‘I’ which has awareness of itself and of its situation. From this point of view, it appears that consciousness or identity is not an illusion. In this state, there are no ‘memes’ and no streams of mental processes, but consciousness still appears to exist. I would therefore say that the sense of self is fundamental to us, from the deepest levels of our being. Of course, this fundamental sense of ‘I’ is acted on by all kinds environmental, social and psychological influences, and becomes ‘constructed’ to a large degree. You could compare it to how a Roman fort is built upon and expanded over centuries until eventually develops into a modern city. But there is a fundamental kernel of ‘I-ness’ which is always there, underlying all of the activity and all the construction

partly through meditation and partly through questioning my habits, points of view and observing my reactions in different situations and trying other one.. just for fun.. In my case this kind of pressure in the chest didn't disappear once for all, but rather step by step as if less chains held me and let me breath freelier. It needs time but maybe it's important in order to let all kind of mess definitively behind us..? I'm also convinced that every step in the "right" direction is a bliss which you can feel instantly.. and perhaps the secret of happiness is hidden in every little liberation if you only apreciate them? Even here in this forum.. There is so much love send to you, right? Take it and let it flow through you, let it give you the aliveness you need to enjoy the life in and around you Have a wunderful day

@carlo I will probably go with what @Emerald Wilkins said, I have had a similar experience in my past and didnt know why the pain occurred or I knew the reason(it was from a traumatic event) but even after the event for a very long time I experienced a unbearable pain in my chest and also on my arms. I used to bite myself when that occured just to feel something else. I also experienced unvoluntary obes and sleep paralysis.(I didnt know what it was at that time and didnt understand it either). Basically my reality was crushed because I realized that there is no meaning to life(I say this with caution, Im not saying life is useless but its like a hobby, you do it because you enjoy it and might have no particular purpose other that having fun) and that "the system" is one great big lie. I was after truth and hunted it down ferociously. Eventually I stumbled upon Leo's vid of the truth and after that was when I had my first enlightenment experience. I experienced the so called complete state of bliss and the night after that I was driving and the social conditioning was spinning on the outside of my head(I didnt see it but I felt it and heard it). Honestly it was a very aakward/weird experience but I had a immense relief after that happened.

@Ire @arletbode In the Big Leap there is on example in which on guy dies working himself to death.. The author told him to start doing what he loves at least one hour daily... following your bliss would be the key to find your Zone of Genius, the Zone of Excellence is the one where you get comfortable and in which society wants you to be, Even I didn't find how to find the Zone of Genius in the first reading, so reading it again.. Try to take down few notes if you can and do the exercises, follow the process and forget about the results.. (finding the Zone of Genius)