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@eskwire last time I had sex was over 6 years ago and I have no immediate plans to change that. idk if I count as "celibate" because I do indulge in fantasy with masturbation occasionally, so in that way I behave sexually. occasionally I've created an account on OK cupid, had a little fun perusing profiles, but ultimately trying to set up a conversation with people was... weird. unfulfilling I guess. but letsee to ponder your questions. for me I figured out I "should" be celibate mostly because sex itself was kind of uninteresting. long story short... there was enough about sex that gave me reason to just hold off from it. I would occasionally think about relationships without sex, and sometimes it seemed kind of nice and like I said I've been social enough to be thinking about attractive peeps and maybe trying to talk to people in the pursuit of something but... I've basically been denying to myself that I have interest in not bothering, at least for now. of course, I should disclose that when I was in high school I boldly told myself that even if I never found a partner in my life I'd be happy just being on my own. and that because of that, I preferred to put off dating until college or some time around then. I suppose I've been basically temporarily celibate, but with the end date unspecified, this whole time. for two years in college I was in some relationships, but after the last one I reinstated my celibacy. (well with freedom to pine for contact I wasn't really pursuing.) by your third question. I'm unfamiliar with the language you used to ask it, but from what I read it sounds kind of like you've had a lot of relationships that are short lived for quite some time now? IMO that's a dangerous habit to fall into. it's possible that you could approach the situation, assuming that is your situation, either by mindfulness with celibacy, or by mindfulness just doing the same... trying to be fully aware as consistently as you can during that time, letting go of self-judgments and just acting like an impartial observer of the situation. either way, being mindful I trust would facilitate growth in the area of romance for you. I mean I think I understand what you mean by this. but my thoughts regarding it is... if we feel as if we should avoid something, well that's moralization. it may not be the way it has been framed by others in this thread so far, but it is still being named a distraction. In Leo's video I remember he really emphasized how when we say we shouldn't do something, we actually are rejecting the true desire that we want to do it. but I also then said, that it is both - when we moralize we split ourselves - we outright deny that we actually want to do the thing by trying to say we shouldn't, as well as we unknowingly deny the fact that there are reasons we want to not do the thing. and by splitting it in this way, we are forcing various levels of unawareness on ourselves. dogma. the truth is that our choices are all equal. and they are nothing. our individuality does in fact draw us to some things and away from others, and this is all we really need to make our decisions. the moralizations and dogmas of rules and expectations are a distraction from authenticity. generally my advice - and this is the first time I'm expressing this so I apologize in advance - is: when we use our words and thoughts and ideas to state things, we can instead of using these ideas as beliefs of right or wrong or desired or undesired or good or evil. we could realize that our ideas are necessarily *false, not false as in not true but rather as in inherently not infinity, that they are dual in nature. that the authentic self is nondual but in our small-scale duality existence, we can only truly ponder dual thoughts, and so the enlightened path is to realize that the duality is inherent - and with a neutral perspective, allow the dual experiences to only be a guide for our pursuit of authentic existence, as nothing dual can be authentic. we cannot even reach authenticity or enlightenment, these are not destinations we arrive at or trophies we acquire - enlightenment and the pursuit of the authentic self are simply the nature in which we live life out. existence is infinity and as such our nothingness is automatically a part of that no matter what we do. but using morals and beliefs makes us stand rigid against the tide of infinity, in which we break - and awareness is how we become like the sapling who bends with the wind and therefore does not break, and becomes one with the flow.

Ultimately there is only the ocean. And the ocean "dreams up" these "individual" bubbles. Atleast this was my interpretation so far. I try to do that. But sometimes those experiences or images pop up (I don't really know what to call them, guess this is the limit of language) So they are all meaningless? I had the shift of perception a week ago, where I realized that I have literally no face (or that the face is only a thought/another sensation) and that im thus everything but also no-thing, just empty awareness or the "things" itself, because there was no difference anymore between the perceived and the perceiver. Do you mean this with Nothingness? It seemed to match the description. When I have an insight like this, my mind always tends to assume "this is it! you got it, there is nothing more to discover" of course, I don't believe my mind anymore. It's still very confusing for me, because there is one fraction that says "enlightenment is the simplest thing in the world, and you are already enlightened, it's directly in your face" this matches with the "experience" or shift of perception that I had. But then there is the other fraction that says it takes decades or lifetimes and only a few sages get it. There was also not the direct realization of infinity or that I'm god

Nothing is hidden. When you meditate/self-inquiry, aim to drop all metaphors and models. They are all symbols but your aim here is non-symbolic awareness. You cannot get to the Absolute through symbols. It's hard because the mind is addicted to symbols. Nothingness is not separate from the present experience you're having.

Entry 53 | Illness and Negative Emotion Theory: Just as illnesses remind you to pay attention to your body, negative emotion occurs to remind you to pay attention to your mind. Applying it: When you sense negative emotion, embrace it and heed its warning. Just to put it out there, I'm not ill! There are some minor 'illnesses' that people get which can serve as a wake-up call regarding the body. When I say 'illnesses,' I mean typical health problems that can come and go. As an example, adult acne is there to remind me to clean up my diet, which I have been doing. Also, obesity occurs because of a person's lack of daily exercise. There's nothing inherently bad about these things. With the right perspective, you should be able to pay attention to these changes in the body and make the connection that you need to honour it better. In a lot of cases, these 'illnesses' serve as a reflection of your inner game. Negative emotions work in the same way. If you feel the presence of depression, frustration, boredom, or anxiety throughout your day, that is your mind's way of saying "pay attention to me!" in the same way that the body creates health problems. I've talked about negative emotion before as being non-existent. The 'negative' aspect is, in fact, your resistance to paying attention to the emotion, which is neutral. If you let go of the resistance, you can experience the emotion as it is meant to appear. And when that happens, you wonder why you have been resisting it for so long. In some cases, the emotion comes and goes in a fleeting moment. In most cases, however, the emotion will trigger a thought or insight of great importance to your growth. For that reason, it is imperative that you embrace the emotions. The best way to do this is to stop what you are doing, close your eyes if necessary, and simply experience the emotion in its neutral state. Don't try to hurry it away or get rid of it: that constitutes resistance. Just let it take over your mind by giving it your full attention. Usually, you only have to sit with that emotion for about 5 minutes before it begins to change. Although, it can take much longer. If it disappears into nothingness, don't feel let down that you haven't experienced an insight. Emotions are unpredictable. Some will just enter and leave your perception without any reason. If that happens, appreciate the beauty of the moment and move on with your day. You should no longer feel negative. If you are lucky enough to receive a thought impulse or an insight after sitting with the emotion, good for you! This will give you an opportunity to make positive changes in your life that align with your highest values. For example, I was feeling pretty negative the entire afternoon. I was developing my website and doing some online work that had to be done. While all of these things were important for accomplishing my goals, there was a negative energy possessing me. I couldn't name the emotion, but there was a lot of resistance there. In response to this, I put my laptop to one side and sat on my bed. My focus was purely on the emotion. After only 5 minutes, a thought impulse entered my head: "What are you doing? Professional musicians don't spend this long in the day working on their website. Practice your guitar pieces!" The insight made so much sense to me. Website building is not an activity of my Zone of Genius. Music-making is! I picked up the guitar and practiced for a total of 3 hours. That's 3 hours of heavy-duty practice without procrastination. But every second of it was a joy. What started out as a negative emotion became rocket fuel for my actions. Rather than denying or suppressing the emotion, I let go of resistance and welcomed it into my awareness. As a result, I realigned with my Zone of Genius. Surely that's a much more desirable outcome than today's cultured way of dealing with emotions: by pretending that everything is fine and suffering in silence? If it's not too quick to assume, this may be the key to unlocking emotional mastery. Pick of the day: May You Never - John Martyn

Is selflessness / ego death / transcendence actually a thing? Something achievable by a human being? Or is our mind just tricking us? I want to start with a random example that came to mind, to make this more palpable. Let's imagine a little conversation Person1 says: "I believe that we should live life more like our ancestors did, I believe that this is how life was meant to be lived." Then Person2 says: "But, we came so far and we evolved so much as a society, we shouldn't limit ourselves to a simple lifestyle, we could do so much more, now that technology advanced to such a high level almost anything is possible!" Then Person3 says: "Well, Person2, You'd definitely like to believe that you're somehow special and [yadda yadda], but in reality that's just your ego being materialistic, in reality you don't even have free will / control over your actions. You should live life as purely and egoless as you can, and always seek consciousness, because transcending ego is the highest most fulfilling thing a human being can do. Only this way can you achieve true liberation, detach from any need and judgement and achieve TRUE " * I believe that Person3 here is what most spiritual teachers preach, as the core idea. Then I say, isn't all this talk about ego just more and more ego pleasing itself? It feel kind of good and "developed" to be thinking about how the ego works, right? But isn't that just more ego, tricking itself into thinking that he somehow surpassed itself? But wait a second, isn't this whole post about how ego tricks itself just more ego, feeling all warm and special because it thinks it actually is something greater? Can true liberation (or however you might want to call it) actually be achieved? If someone says that he or she had an enlightenment experience, tasted The Void, Infinity, is that actually true? In my current perception, liberation and clarity, which are the ultimate purpose of this spiritual work that we're doing here, cannot be experienced by a living human. By clarity I mean disidentification with anything, seeing EVERYTHING for what it is and not in relationship with this person here, not for what it can be for or against us. Therefore, as this human body is the machine that processes what happens in our field of awareness, and as its one and only goal is to keep itself alive and happy, it cannot grasp true clarity. Because clarity would mean ego death. But how can a person live without an ego? He simply wouldn't, he wouldn't do anything because there's no desire for anynthing, there's no good or bad, no motivation, nothing pressing it, nothing attracting it, nothing to make him gravitate towards anything. Also, I feel like choosing things like UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and PEACE (all brought to life from the same idea of egolessness as an achievalbe state for a human being) is highly convenient and preached by most spiritual teachers out there. Because this Nothingness has no reason to be attached to any quality or value, be it "good" or "bad". Because WHY WOULD IT? I'm not trying to say that seeking is pointless and that it won't get you anywhere, I'm only trying to point out something that doesn't feel justified but in spite of that it seems to be mistakenly promoted by the spiritual community. I believe that seeking definitely has its benefits and I'm REALLY grateful for somehow being on this path. I'm not ranting against self-actualization and I'm not saying "Oh, this is just wishful thinking, I have no control over life so I might as well just sit here and do nothing with this life, cuz we're just trapped in this big ego illusion". What I'm stressing here is that I believe we're looking at this journey as if it had a finish line, a certain level of development where one just becomes one with everything and detaches from selfishness and desire. Well, I'm calling bs on that, because I don't think that some construct such as ego, which (as I believe Leo would put it) is a SUBSET, can transcend to become Infinity, The SUPERSET. What I think is the problem with this way of seeing this path is that it WILL, at some point, create unrealistic expectations / a sense of inadequacy and therefore tons of suffering. It will make you judge yourself and other people for not fitting into this set of standards. Don't get me wrong, I believe it is good to keep raising our consciousness, learning and growing and developing and all the juicy stuff (I see the benefits of that), but I think we shouldn't have this image of the selfless all-loving monk that dedicates his entire life to enlightenment experience. Not to say there's something wrong with that, but just realize that if that's not the case for you there's no need to beat yourself up. I'm curious to see what you think about this one.

Hey, since a few months when I had a LSD trip I get glimpses in meditation that we are like tiny bubbles of experience, floating around in a vast infinite ocean of consciousness/nothingness. Anyone esle had this? Has it any truth? Or is it just a meaningless image that pops up from time to time

God is nothingness The success principles by Jack Canfield Mastery by Georg Leonard The big leap Psycho cybernetics

Hi guys, so this is my first post on the forum. So it seems like throughout my life I've made very few real social connections in my life. There are people that I've talked to out of convenience and for a long time I searched for people I could really connect with and form long lasting bonds with, However, even with my closer friends and relationships, they all seems to eventually fizzle out into nothingness. All of my experiences have left me in a state of half not wanting to try because the end result will be the same anyway and half wishing that I could make at least one genuine connection with someone even if only on a normal friendship level. I am very comfortable being on my own but I am very aware of the limits of trying to do everything by yourself. Though I don't want to be around people that hold me back either. Conflicting huh? lol I just wanted to know if anyone else on here have experienced this and overcome this issue somehow.

Hey. So I've done a summary of "Ten Bulls of Zen" (resource: https://beingwithoutself.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/tenoxpics.pdf) and it's still really hard to conceptualize it as it's extremely subtle. @Leo Gura and others who are familiar with this map, could you look at my summary and check if I get the definitions of Man, Ox and The Source correctly as well as the meaning of stages? When does Enlightenment happens exactly? Does it happen in the Stage 6 or Stage 8, or in other? Here's how I understand it: Man - "You" (Later evolves to "Spiritual You", then "Nothingness", then "Buddha") ? Ox - The teachings and practices of Enlightenment ? Source - Life is serving itself ? 1. Seeking Ox: Ego searches for the escape out of suffering (a.k.a. for True Self), but it's lost, all paths seems to lead to an dead-end. 2. Seeing Traces: Ego finds the hints of it's True Self in teachings. The right direction has been found. All is one? Where is the True Self? Starts inquiry. 3. Finding Ox: True Self is encountered. Taste of Enlightenment. 4. Catching Ox: Chasing the experiences of Enlightenment. Strong discord between Illusion and Truth arises taking you to the very heights and to the very depths of your mind. Easy to get into old ways. 5.Taming Ox: Ego and True Self go together with little resistance. Switching back and forth? With the proper tending, True Self follows of it's own accord. It is confirmed that it's not something you do, but something you are. 6. Returning Home, Riding Ox: Ego and True Self goes together with ease. The suffering is over. Peace of mind has been acquired. In the beginning every path lead to a dead-end, now every path leads home. No turning back. 7. Ox Forgotten, Man Remains: The teachings and practices has been transcended. They're no longer serving the Spiritual Ego. You're one with all and always were. Your life becomes meditation. No conflicting truths. 8. Man and Ox Both Forgotten: Enlightenment? "Spiritual You" disappear. State of Nothingness. Nothing to do. 9. Return to Origin, Back at Source: Life is observing itself. Life naturally starts to expressing itself for compassion. 10. Entering Market with Open Hands: Selfless service without a though of following such tracks. Not even an intent of saving others - life serves itself naturally. Free to care no strings attached. Note: Do not hang up on the portrayal of the stages, they are arbitrary. Everyone must go through themselves, no two paths are the same. However, the depictions and description are helpful signposts to warn us along the Way.

:)) If you know, that something happens, then you are aware of it. If you know, that you are walking to the bus stop, then you are aware of it. If you are so deeply submerged in your thoughts that you don't know what's happening around you, then all you know is thoughts, but you are perfectly aware of your thoughts. You see, awareness is always there, you cannot do anything to maintain it. Awareness is simply your reality in the here and now. And you are all of it! Look forward to the moment when you lose all your awareness, because that's the moment when your reality becomes Nothingness itself. That is an enlightenment experience!

Found an amazing read of experiences http://www.dmtsite.com/5-meo-dmt/experience/descriptions.html One in particular got me thinking, maybe when you take 5-meo you basically go back to singularity, and re-live and see the whole universe re-create itself as you visualize it into existence once again when coming down from the peak. It always fascinated me how everything eventually dissolves into nothingness, you have to re-create it to go back to where you took off. If you never came back, how would you know? Does that reality even exist? or is it pure imagination of self? One things for certain, we all should be extremely proud and grateful for where we are today and what we have come to be aware of One Love

That's what i think Enlightenment simply is IMO, Full (Possibly all 3) forms of DMT endogenously released all at once which becomes a direct connection to pure consciousness. Awakenings could be merely small releases from time to time yet we think when it happens we become Enlightened fully. I'd Assume the more evolved the energetic pattern/soul/spirit whatever you want to call it, the greater/deeper one can go thus more one can release at once. Tibetan monks that tried DMT explain it as the state of "Bardo" The Realm between life and death. The furthest one can go without losing the ability to come back. Which some usually state is the 5th dimension, sometimes 6th and some individuals extremely rare case can hit 7th(so they say) What arises to the question for me is yeah i been there and all of that but then how do you explain the state of absolute infinity? When you are there you "Know" so to speak you are beyond all dimensions/densities and beyond everything in ultimate nothingness? The infinite state some 5-Meo users explain, you literally become god itself, creator consciousness, you see, feel, understand through everything and everyone in existence and beyond 100% of the time all at once in infinite infiniteness. - There are no words.. I've awoken in that state with Normal DMT as my intention was just that. To be one with the infinite creator and show me everything i am ready to see. After all the hypnotic visuals, vibrations, sacred geometry, fractals, entities and so on after i reached complete surrender. I guess this is what is called a breakthrough dose on the Nexus. Some say Abyss/Void ect.. Who know's but i feel this year will be an amazing year of light and discovery on a mass scale. Its only the beginning All is well

You can awaken from it permanently. To awaken from a dream is to realize it isn't real. But life will still continue because life isn't separate from nothingness. Nonduality includes duality. Of course that body/mind could kill itself or perhaps "ascend". There are many reports of people ascending. So that may be an option. But don't get ahead of yourself. Catch a glimpse of what you are first.

I would sometimes ponder "What would it be like if the universe didn't exist?". Intuitively, this should be within the realm of possibility. These sometimes triggered a sense of "nothingness" in my mind that scared the shit out of me. It was impossible to imagine nothingness... to imagine anything at all was "something"! As I grew older, I stopped being able to tap into that sense, or perhaps I forgot. But now as I journey into spirituality and self-actualization, I am hoping to rediscover that sense of nothingness.

@Loreena Wrong question!! but if you really want to answer it, the answer would be nothingness or emptiness.

Nothing can be added to it, nothing can be substracted from it (Tawhid). Given its infinite character: everything can be added to it, everything can be substracted from it? I'm wondering: are there realizations somewhere in infinity where it would mean exactly the opposite? From a singularity perspective to a duality perspective? Is there more than duality? Is there triality? So is there more to it than Nothingness and Everythingness and Singularity? Would this not be possible within infinity?

Paradox is fundamental. Existence is basically paradoxical. Lets see some examples. Existence is all that is out there, but it is also identical to the Self (consciousness) that's "in" here. The Self is everything, it is infinite, but it is also a tiny point of nothingness. The Self is pure emptiness, yet it is everything at the same time, there is no space in it. There is unity, yet there is diversity. The Self is changeless background which experiences change, yet it is change itself. The world is illusory, yet there is nothing as solid as that. Mind conceals our true nature, but its the mind that takes us back there. Knowledge is ignorance, yet knowledge itself brings us out of ignorance. Realization is effortless and most natural, easier than breathing, but it also take a lot of effort and is immensely difficult. A seeker seeks that which he already is. All there is, is perfection, yet we see all sorts of imperfections around us. I'm sure there must be many more such paradoxes. The mind blowing thing is that we can see through them. IMO, these arise out of the limitations of mind, which tries to desperately make sense out of something which is beyond its capability, and lands into the pit of paradox instead. Those who think that they will find a definite answer to the hard questions will be disappointed. The answers are paradoxical, and sometimes there are no answers. Paradox appears as a rule rather than as exception. It is perfectly ok, but our mind is uncomfortable with it. The realization that (almost) everything is paradoxical, self contradictory, must be an indication of something. What is that something?

The most important backfiring mechanisms have to do with the inner workings of your mind: Your modes of thinking, your emotional reactions, your fears, your motivations and values, your habitual behavior patterns, your beliefs and justifications, your paradigms of reality, etc. As a simple example, how might valuing sex or money or security backfire? As a more advanced example, how might valuing spirituality or enlightenment backfire? As a general rule of thumb, once a system reaches sufficient complexity, the greatest danger to its survival becomes a backfiring of itself. A sort of collapsing under its own weight. Which is why to reach the greatest heights requires shedding egoic material, or purification to the point of nothingness or spirit. The word "spirit" connotes lightness of mechanism, and this is a good pointer of what you should be working towards. To be conscious, it to be able to see how a mechanism truly works, and its backfire potential.

From the perspective of using 5meo, what if any difference is there between "infinity/God" and what is "nothingness/the void"?

I really do think everything is connected. I think that frequencies, geometry, music all are interconnected. They all are based on "somethingness and nothingness". Music would be nothing without silence. You need silence for rhythm in beats, songs etc. Geometry would be nothing without nothingness. You need to have the nothingness in which geometry can be shown. Same goes for frequencies. This list can continue to infinity. Life is one beautiful dance between these two opposites, which are actually two sides of the same coin.

@Dodoster Thats right. Moving forward and going back to what Leo was saying in his video on Naive Realism, when we go to work and lock the door behind us and walk away, is your house still there? Your mind says, "of course, stupid, its right behind you". But what's there? Possibly a void of nothingness. The only thing real is what's right in front of you in the present moment, from your personal experience. The house exists as a concept now, a thought. If you turn around to see if your house is still there...boom! There it is. But something comes out of nothing, so.....maybe I'm just taking for granted that objects exist when not in my direct experience.

You may of heard the word Shiva, and may have a idea or something that springs to mind when you hear that word. I am going to shed some light, on this. Shiva, means that which is not. Its refering to The Nothingness everyone keeps on talking about. Shiva is that which has always been, and always will be, the very womb of existence. Without the earth, there is no human & animal life, Without the sun, there is no earth, Without our solar system, there is no sun, Without the universe there is no solar system, Without shiva there is no universe. It is everything. Who knows what eles is out there, who knows what other planets other life forms inhabit, how far does this stretch out to, does it go on forever? Never stops! And there are infinite planets & suns and life forms. I don't know. What I do know is shiva goes on forever and ever, because it is without form, so what could limit it. A limit is something that applies only to form. Limited in shape, size, duration and so on. But nothing? Well you figure it out for your self. Shiva is described as darkness, the reason being for this is, light is finite, a lightbulb and even the sun, will eventually die out, even something as powerful as the sun is still limited, to time. And will eventually lose its ability to give out light. So based on this quite Logical reasoning, its described as a infinite empty darkness. I wouldn't get to caught up on that though because your mind will create a image, and that which is imageless, can't be limited to a thought of darkness. it is that which everything manifest from, and that which all manifestations fall back into. Many words have been given, to this God, Tao, absolute ect. So every master is one who knows himself/herself as a expression of the devine shiva, And imbodies that consciousness, shiva consciousness, Christ consciousness, buddha mind and so on. You get the point. And when one has ego death meaning they literally, lose there experience of being themselves, they then know themselves as the infinite without question because they are it. Shiva also refers to a yogi who knew himself as the devine, thousands of years ago, but I won't go into that in this post. I have to give credit, to sadhguru who I learn this stuff from in a little ebook I was reading this morning, and I gave my own little twist on it. Hope you liked it. Peace

I know to the mind's eye this picture looks bleak, But it wasn't that way at all. Like I said it felt as if it was the source of everything. It felt like home. I remember when I experienced this void or nothingness that all questions fell away. It was if it knew everything and everything was taken care of. It was the most blissful thing I ever experienced. It was communicating with me without saying a word. What was it saying to me? "Don't worry, I got this" "I always have and always will"

@Visionary Yea, that's what I was thinking too, but I'm not sure. And I have experienced something that could be considered "the void" before on two occasions. It was empty, timeless and infinite. But it had a quality to it that is indescribable in words and it seemed to be the source of all things.. But since this 5meo experience of infinity and God came along that leo talks about, where does the void fit in? I posted a picture once of what I thought infinity looked like (from my direct experience) and Leo shot that right down saying that no way is infinity like that and it was full of colors, and infinite and anything but empty and it was god. So what's the truth? I'll post that picture of what I experienced as "the infinite void". It's called the "shiny black nothingness" and that describes it perfectly.

No, it's not. It's Nothing. And Nothingness is the one eternal constant. Experience is Everything, and it's impermanent and ever changing.