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mood is a terrible measure, I noticed. my mood fluctuates a lot. and while I became more aware of good mood, the same could be said about bad mood. I'm much more conscious of those mood swings nowadays. it's a bit frustrating, because I'm now much more aware of my little moments of annoyance, frustration, boredom, nervousness, irresolution or disappointment. (one year ago I would have buried myself in distraction without even noticing) but how do I measure how deeply I'm grounded in Nothingness? I can see how that's the highest indicator. but how exactly can I 'measure' that?

@Sukhpaal @Leo Gura Is it fair to say that nothingness is like a camera that does not understand the image it captures? Like a video with nobody to watch it? This is what I imagine a trip-induced death to be. An experience so overwhelming that it cannot be named. Returning from that would be a life-changing event.

More like, your emotional reactivity. Mood is a terrible measure of growth. Mood changes wildly. You gotta ground yourself in something more long-term and stable. Like Nothingness. The truest measure of growth is how deeply you're grounded in Nothingness/Truth/You. Because Nothingness is the only thing which cannot be destroyed. Everything else is fleeting, including success, joy, health, wealth, relationships, career, friends, reputation, thought, or anything else. Even experience itself will end. But Nothingness will remain forever.

There is no way to get it short of enlightenment. This is the heart of enlightenment. Your mind cannot create a "sneak peak" of enlightenment. A genuine nondual experience is necessary. Also, thinking about nothingness will not get you to Nothingness. "Figuring it out" will not work. I tried that for several years and I wasn't even close. You are not going to think your way into enlightenment.

No problem! I haven't yet realized it in the depths that Leo seems to (have just watched about first 20 minutes of Hawaii mindfuck video so far... Lmao damn this 5 meo sounds nuts) as well as sages enlightened masters etc, but I've definitely had some brief glimpses of nothingness / void, maybe. And my intuition is telling me there is definitely something there. Or rather, nothing. Problem is, it's scary. But I believe if you can get past that it is infinitely peaceful and fulfilling, and is home.

I love freedom more then anything else. Is it ok to break social contacts with family and frends to cultivate This longing for freedom. When I'm in contact with pure sourse, I feel too happy to defind myself as a son, Brother etcetera. I like to be present in the now, without obligations to others. I Love people though, always friendly and loving. But I hate to be defind or defind myself or others. Osho Said at one point that he had been nothing for 23 years, I Love that qoute. I touch This feeling and insight of being nothingness every now and Then. I would Love to be total free, and rest in intuition and nothingness, transcendending oneself that is. Many of you can probably combine This with close connection to friends/family. But I Love integrity, I Love to live "secretly" where no one knows what I'm up to, not even me "myself" Can anyone relate, and is it ok to break contact because you Love solitude and Love to go with intuition at all moments in life with a minimum of aspects that can interfere with that. Or is it ego? Despite I want to arrange my life to be in a state of no ego. It's tricky, But I like to really minimize mundane stuff in life and purify and rest in love/happiness every single moment.

The best part about nothingness is that it shines.

Nothingness is not what you imagine it to be. It's the opposite. This word "nothingness" confuses most people.

@thehero It's probably wise to build a stable foundation before working on this stuff. My understanding is that enlightenment is only direct, first-person realization of Truth, God, Nothingness, etc. By becoming enlightened, it does not mean that you have mastered every aspect of life. While it does seem that having enlightenment experiences would alleviate some emotional trauma, you can't force an enlightenment experience to happen. It could be some time before you have an enlightenment experience, even if you dedicate yourself to the work. What would you do in the meantime? That's a lot of time spent waiting. Though I don't know your experiences or circumstances, I'd suggest that you think of learning and growth as not being all or nothing—rather a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Put most of your effort towards your biggest problems but don't neglect the little things. Practically, this could look like working predominately on your mental health, finances, and relationships, while at the same time beginning to learn a little about enlightenment. I trust you to know what's best for you.

Thanks guys! @OBEler It is quite complicating haha, the death brought me peace. My death was liberation, it was truth. It was terrifying at the start to know that there was nothing and all of this is a hallucination. But eventually I surrendered and went into the void. It sounds depressing that all there is, is nothingness but that is just ego talk. Being conscious of reality and the illusion of reality is the most glorious thing ever. When you’re conscious of reality you realize there are no problems with life and whatever problem there is out there, you just made it up. Everything is perfect right now, it doesn’t get any better than the present moment.

@Sukhpaal as a functioning ego I cannot understand how this "experience" you had was also wonderful and that you as an ego also want to surrender totally to this "nothingness". In this nothingness there is nothing going on for eternity, isnt it? But right now there is also nothing going on.. For an ego, how can it be wonderful to know that there is nothing? To see at your girlfriend and to know that you are looking at a dreampicture made out of nothing and no one ever experience this, even yourself?

wonderful! I can relate so much to that. reading it through 'your' perspective makes goosebumps arise all over again. dying has also been the most horrifying and the most wonderful experience in 'my' life <3 I have many anchors as well. I guess the first step to letting go of them is to become aware of us having them. then seeing their true nature: nothingness. it hurts to realize that those anchors are hollow and only constructed by ourselves in a desperate attempt to give meaning and purpose to our existence. nice healing experience <3 it hurts so much to let go of people we fell in love with ..I know that very well. but it's time to realize that illusion. it will open the gates to true, unconditional love! happy for you, nice report <3

To make a point to previous comments, I will make point because it might help to someone who wants to progress beyond nonduality: salvation and enlightenment are not the same things. And Jesus didn't teach oneness and enlightenment per se, he taught faith and obedience to one God and salvation through being born into Holy Spirit (which is miracle that can be in this life, but it's not coming from this world/from this existence, its not some mystical experience or awakening). Although he defo was enlightened and one with everything, but that's not what he meant when he said that I am one with God. Have you ever heard Buddha saying such words about Holy , about god or anything like that? Of course no, because Buddha and Jesus taught different things. God in Christianity (and in Islam/Judaism) is not everything/nonduality/Brahman/nothingness/infinity/being/existence/consciousness/dream/reality/absolute oneness it is none of this being, it transcends this being. That's why revelations, meaning, miracle, holy, prophets, beliefs and faith, while enlightenment doesn't need any of that, has no meaning, need no faith, no god, no scriptures, and no teachings ! rabit hole goes very deep, seek and you shall find Leo is correct when he intuits and says that there can be more than just absolute truth, infinity. When you might think what can be more than infinity and absolute truth? Leo doesn't know what it is, but his intuition is correct

I just watched Leo’s blog. I was crying the whole time as he described my greatest vision of reaching so deep into reality that everything is absolute nothingness without time and space. He was so humble about it too. I’ve updated my spiritual practices above to be less restricted, so that I can personalize how long to do each technique each day. Leo’s inspiration made me connected with my own intuition such that I am no longer going to hold myself back anymore through wasting my time on anything but that which will lead me to nothingness. I’m going to practice so “hardcore”, because that is my destiny, that is my greatest excitement and where my heart is ultimately leading me. I think I know my 18th birthday present: 5-meo-dmt!! I just have absolutely no clue of where to find a good source, like no clue, so I’ll be so grateful for some help there (and I’ll start trying to find it now for it could take months ). Enlightenment is possible. Leo showed me it’s not just exclusive for a few people, but those who truly are dedicated to their vision will get there. ? I’m not as scared anymore to die. My path is a mixture of 4 spiritual beings: Matt Kahn (Love), Master of Earth (Pineal Gland), Leo Gura (vision/psychedelics/inspiration/grounding) and myself. I can feel/sense/know that this regime will be effective. There isn’t an emptiness in me that I’ve had for weeks as if I’ve been living under my potential, and I remember Matt Kahn said that this happens when your future self is so evolved. He said that your subconscious mind can see your evolved self, and so the criticism in your mind is from this comparison which proves how brightly you are meant to shine.

I like the ball of yarn metaphor in this video. The way Leo described it, it reminds me of the movie, Interstellar. Life and all the other realms in Absolute Nothingness is just a "movie" / "story," that came out of nowhere. It's like, if a person actually passes away from this life and has achieved nirvana, they could "watch" life and all the other realms like a movie. They could even participate in it without being involved in it, and sometimes vice versa, and they are also one with the Absolute Nothingness, but that's not their "natural" state, to interfere with others. They may give hints to teach, and we're very awed by this, but it's all peace and no suffering for them. It's nothing unusual for them. They already "grew-up" and learned their lessons. What they have over there is not what we have over here.

Thank you all for the encouragement. The condition here in this forum is conducive for growth and exploration, which makes the possibility of expansion and actualization more favorable. The play although is filled with characters but there is no actor or doer behind the masks, there is nothing behind this Michael character, who's pulling the string, the Michael character is itself, with all his thinking, stories he made up, preferences, physical .body, a part of this one whole impersonal purposeless manifestation; it's just all one thing doing its own thing, but the many arise out of it due to our own mental distinction and labeling. Beingness as @cirkussmile has mentioned, can also be experienced, but the Nothingness that is "identical" to Infinity is still not a truth yet, plus I still can't wrap my mind around "nothing happens" yet. Nothing needs to be different when the illusion of self is seen through. It's not special like a personal achievement, because whatever ALL the dream characters are doing with all their personal beliefs simply can't be otherwise, I will have to remove myself from the infinite whole to be the cause of my own action, which is impossible. Will continue to seek help and advice and pointers on this fun trip. The whole journey is more like a play now, so I can play intensely, because even the idea of "I don't understand this" or "I need further growth" all falls under the desire of the Ego. It's not right or wrong, it's just the momentum that keeps driving this drama forward, and this illusory character assigning made up stories, meanings, and even values to this one arising.

One must be aware about the crucial difference between God in pantheistic, monistic and nondualist sense as = absolute/oneness/Brahman/nothingness/everything/infinity/void/emptiness and God in monotheistic sense

This vision/thought came to me last night after hearing Leo talk about the double-sided coin of reality, how on one side it has nothingness and on the other side infinity. Let me know what you guys think. I was thinking that maybe what's going in every day normal life is this sort of oscillating wave between form (what we perceive all day in the 'physical world') and formlessness (the source of all form). I was picturing this oscillation happening so fast and outside of 'regular perception' that it sort of stabilizes into a 'continuous' thing or things, which we may call every day perception or Maya or form. I dunno if any of you guys are into audio, but when you have a particular sound grain or wave that is being played or oscillating at a fast enough rate, it sort of takes on a different form (like a tone or a continuous note with pitch). Another example is when a wheel or a fan turns at such a rate that you stop seeing the individual spokes or boards on the fan and it takes on a new, different image. This is sort of how I was picturing this 'wave' which goes back and forth between form and formlessness in such a way that creates the illusion of the 'physical' or human world of perception. Anyways I just wanted to hear what you guys think about this little conceptulization that appeared before me lol

Synchronicity is real. I recently had an ego-death experience performing kriya yoga. Several nights later I had a dream (if that is indeed what it was) where I was "walking in nothingness". Suddenly I heard an intense high pitched ringing sound, felt like I was about to die, surrendered, and heard the word "Upanishads" whispered to me. I had briefly heard the word before but didn't consciously know what it was. It turned out to be group of religious Hindu texts full of insights I had recently had and been thinking about (Atman is Brahman... Or the ground of your self's being is the same ground of all reality). It seemed really crazy to me, and more and more synchronicities have been occurring sense. Bottom line, Kriya Yoga gets you woke af (done properly and with good meditation foundation).

I can only answer the second question as my awakening had nothing to do with drugs (they're very illegal here). My awakening was indeed a state similar to nothingness. If one lacks sufficient understanding, could easily confuse with nothingness the perfect stillness, the absence of time and thoughts. When I came back from that, it seemed indeed that for a moment outside time my self had vanished. I didn't jump to the conclusion that there is no self, instead I kept asking questions. As a result of that awakening, I was immediately overcome with love and a sense of well being, that everything is all right. That loving state has been replaced with feelings, as I'm working through my emotional hangups. Like yourself, I'm eagerly awaiting the explanations of those who are convinced and telling everyone else that there is no self. My best guess is that they mean there is no ego, as in ego doesn't really exist.

@MarkusSweden forget names and concepts. It’s all about knowing yourself as the source - unmanifested - infinite nothingness - formlesness. You consciosness are the door between manifested and unmanifested yet you are one with both.

Nothingness vs infinity It's like Martin Ball VS Sadhguru There's a video how Martin Ball takes 5meo dmt and uses EEG brain scan. Results showed that a lot of brain wave activity, lightnening like a Christmas tree. And there's also a story that sadhguru shares when he was tested by one of those things. What's interesting is that his brain showed zero activity. his diagnosis was either brain dead or dead in general. So this got me thinking. Maybe infinity and nothingness is not the same. Lol I leave this to descide for yourself.

There can't be infinity without nothingness, like good and evil. They are like head and tails of a coin. Both points to the same thing.. the coin. From the universal perspective they exist together in balance. But in our matrix you should search deep so you can see the balance..

Surrender, surrender, surrender, surrender SHAKE, DANCE, MEDITATE, SLEEP This method will cause chaos and that is exactly what we all need! PURE CHAOS! Step 1 stripped me away from the illusion of control and gave me understanding on my personal energetic pattern of this body. (Blockages) Step 2 gave me glimpse of unconditional love and complete surrender to God and a overwhelming feeling of joy for being Authentically Authentic Step 3 gave me glimpses of timelessness and insights over breath. Step 4 = Pure nothingness = I died All these experiences were not consistent, I had a whole spectrum of phenomena arise during my practice including monkey mind, physical discomfort, emotional suffering and even boredom however I persevered through the "bad" days. I understood deeply that there aren't any fruits waiting to be received after the 21 days and every ounce of growth you gain is when you're surrendering to the practice, however this very insight is the fruit because it will transform all my other attempts with any technique. I practiced No Fap which was a significant catalyst to this technique. As of Now i've felt some kundalni symptoms and some "psychic" episodes and a heightened awareness. My main reason for doing this technique was just to get used to emotional labor for an hour everyday so I can begin to practice Osho's Dynamic meditation. From May i will begin to do Dynamic Meditation in the Morning and Kundalini at night, May 31 i will end the practice and take DMT and then the very same day enter my second 10 day vipassana. These techniques are great for the west because it literally breaks the conditioning and you have the choice to surrender. if you want to know more just hmu!

The Never Ending "I Love You" until I have reached enlightenment For a week I have placed my awareness in the centre of my heart. Now I'm moving to the next level, the constant "I Love You" stream. My ego is on the edge of a cliff leading down into infinity, and I want it to make the leap, and jump into the void. I've had dreams of this void, and felt as if I was going to die, only to wake up in my bed still here This is the fastest way I know. I will do this. I have tried many times, but only lasted one day. And even that one day was the best day of my life. I want to be my authentic self again, I want to experience the openness I felt when I was a child. I want to be so overwhelmed by self-love so the ego can return to the light, and become one with reality. As I have said, enlightenment is all emotions, for in order for kundalini to reach your crown chakra you need to remove emotional blockages. Love is the ultimate healer for that. Sometimes I cry for no reason, and pain is always inside my heart. This is the perfect signs of awakening! Hopefully I don't have much karma/emotional debris to feel from my past and present lives, but I'm prepared to take this leap for the wellbeing of all who I touch. What follows will be the proof of the pudding, and it's my deepest pleasure to have anyone reading this come for this ride with me to infinity/nothingness. I'll start as soon as I finish the next sentence, and will not stop saying "I love you" until 'I' die. That is: Right Now. Important Update: For the past hour I have compared saying "I Love You" to just feeling my emotions. When I say "I Love You" my attention can easily be focused on those words rather than the emotion. I feel it is a disservice to my emotions because I'm more focused on constantly saying these words which are really just another distraction, just another sneaky ego thought bubble when used without focus and intention. Just feeling my emotions however resulted in a empty and relaxed mind/muscles around my skull. I could feel my emotions much deeper, and experience my surroundings from a connected state. I feel like this is the more heart centred practice and I'm so grateful that I compared the techniques before diving in. In small doses throughout the day, saying "I Love You" authentically at an experience (rather than blindly in the air) is absolutely wonderful to do. However, when I just feel my emotions though it is more painful, I instead breathe into them; the breathe being a silent form of "I Love You". So the never ending I love you will continue! It is exactly the same but instead of saying I love you in my head, I will use the breathe to focus my attention on my emotions as the eternal silent I Love You that permeates the universe in each moment, and your heart knows this well. The silent I love you starts now, and so with it I will take no thoughts with me as Jesus so said two thousand years ago. Peace, and love to all hearts, including those that are and aren't loved like they deserve to be. We all deserve more love, not less.