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About DoubleYou

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  1. Yeah, I guess you're right. I do meditate a lot though. But a couple of days in it already felt like I was going to explode so there's definitely work to be done there. Maintaining energy has always been a problem for me. My back hurts and I've had a constant headache for about six years now. Also there's premature ejaculation. I feel like it's all related and that's why I'm trying NoFap. To start to get in touch with these feelings in the body, instead of simply wasting them away every other day. I'll look into those exercises! Thanks.
  2. Day 6 - Wet dream Well that worked out great lmao
  3. Notice that one that wants to integrate, meditate, needs all the answers, etc...? Let go of that one. Thats how integration happens. That's when answers will start to arise. When you give up completely. You realised the ego's illusion, so it can now be let go of. More and more. And even then, you will find yourself meditating, going into nature, looking for answers, taking shrooms. It will all continue. From a much deeper authentic level. Without all the neediness. This is where the fun begins.
  4. Back when I was depressed I used to hallucinate a lot. Mostly at night right before falling asleep or after waking up. Not really comparable to psychedelics. More lifelike strange enough. If you're sensitive to it, emotional purging brings out the weirdest shit. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. It's probably a good sign. Also, I would recommend (if you're not already doing this) a creative hobby. That's where hallucination actually really comes in handy
  5. Ever since I stopped eating meat I've been feeling a lot better. Physically and mentally. Which was quite unexpected. So I don't really care about the research haha. I've done my own. I guess it's a lot different for each person though.
  6. A lot of times, a great inquiry ends up in meditation. For instance, the mind giving up, or the mind being overwhelmed. Either positively or negatively. Usually, silence follows. There's no shoulds though. At some point it's better to drop these labels and go from intuition. Whatever feels right in the moment. Who cares what it's called?
  7. Ive had similar experiences that also led to psychosis at some point. Even when sober. Youve been pissing off no one other than yourself. Change the word God into ego and you'll see how you've been torturing yourself all this time. Its just a manifestation of low self esteem. At least it was in my case. In a way its kind if true you're being used as a puppet, but its you that's unknowingly doing it. You as an ego. The good news is that by simply realising this, you can start to work it out. "You don't want to piss off God" says it all. You don't want to piss of your ego cause it will turn on itself. Its you that's making these statements. Notice that. Its liberating. God is just a witness. How can it be pissed off? Only an ego can. Ive even started tripping again so I guess I just wanted to say that I know what it feels like and its possible to break out of it.
  8. That sounds a lot like me right now. Im all about not running away from suffering, but sometimes it feels like im actively looking for it just so that I can overcome it. I thought this was a good habit, but now im not sure. How did you challenge this belief? And did it help?
  9. GRIS is absolutely amazing and everyone should play/experience it.
  10. Who cares what others say, this is about you. With every piece of meat you eat, ask the question: Would I have been able to look this animal in they eye before killing it? If yes, enjoy your meal. If not, enjoy your meal, but know that you're bullshitting yourself by letting someone else do it for you every day behind closed doors so that you dont have to suffer the reality of it. And that's okay too. Thats your choice Just be honest with yourself. Conscious bullshit is already a lot better than unconscious bullshit. Animals suffer every day because of your need to satisfy your taste buds. Theres no need for this, yet you do it anyway. Face this fully and then see what comes up. Really feel it out. If you're okay with it, then again, enjoy your meal. This is not about right or wrong. Its about your ability to be truthful with yourself. Most people never even contemplate these ideas and so they get defensive when they are confronted with the outcomes of this unconscious behaviour. And eating meat doesnt have to be unconscious behaviour at all. A hunter knows what he's eating. Its all about the way you are relating to it. Don't even think about enlightenment when you can't be honest to yourself about simple things like this. It gets a lot harder
  11. You can just play any of these and your trip will turn into absolute magic. Best listened to in one go. Great for dancing and letting go completely. Haven't done a trip without listening to at least one of these. This one's very calm / beautiful / surreal. Works great if you want to explore those peak emotions. Not your typical tripping music but I put this one on during my last trip and it was fucking amazing. Really coloured the atmosphere. Like entering a different world. And of course Pink Floyd. All of it.
  12. Keep meditating and meditating until these "states" become so normal that your mind won't even bother to notice it anymore.
  13. You have it all backwards. Imagine becoming so masculine that you stop giving a shit about needing to be masculine, and thus you are now finally able to embrace your feminine side at last. This is stage green.