Search the Community

Ok, so I feel a little destabilized. Maybe you can help me resolve the confusion somehow. So let's say you work as a cashier at a supermarket and you have all these metaphysical concepts in your head (that Leo keeps talking about), like god is nothingness and all that. You go to work and the mind keeps repeating: This product doesn't actually exist etc. Sometimes maybe the ego gets into a fearful state and you need to take a pause because the mind needs some cooling. Is the problem here too much inquiry/contemplation and too little meditation? Leo said somewhere that most people need a few years of meditation before they are able to do even 5 minutes of inquiry, because their mind is so rampant. I am 21,tried to cut back the inquiry/contemplation to focus on mindfulness meditation and emotional mastery as I have frequent anxiety attacks, but as I'm working from home all day, my mind naturally tends to go towards existential questioning, which most of the time freaks the ego out and can't focus on work. What should one do in this case? Is avoiding spirituality for a while but keeping a meditation practice the way to go for a while until the mind becomes more equanimous? Or am I just resisting feelings too much? Or am I not going out enough and just lost in the mind all day, losing touch with what is actually in front of me? I calm down a whole lot when I hang out with people or when I have a dog nearby that reminds me that I take things way too seriously, or when I workout at the gym and not think about nonduality for a while. As a personal assessement of my case in the spiral dynamics, I suppose I'm halfway into Green but needing to focus a lot on Orange as there is not nearly enough integration done there. I was much more loving, calm, easygoing, at peace with life and generally flowing, not taking any problem too seriously and comfortable with confusion before having all these spiritual concepts in the mind. Even my meditation was much more powerful before having a lot of nondual concepts making the mind restless. I don't really know what I'm doing wrong. Any help would be appreciated.

Yes, consciousness is Nothingness. Which is why you can't grasp hold of it. The Absolute is not an experience. It is Absolute and Mooji don't matter at that point. You are Mooji talking to yourself. Mooji was pointing you to Nothingness. I am not enlightned but I have seen the Absolute many times at this point from a variety of angles, deeper than some teachers. I have seen the Heart Sutra's truth for myself, and it is true as fuck. Realizing the Heart Sutra is what you want.

@DoubleYou Form is identical to formlessness. The Heart Sutra says it perfectly. The only trouble is becoming so insanely conscious to see it. It's right there under your nose. Don't go looking elsewhere. You are inside Nothingness at all times.

15/08/18 Beautiful discovery. Was browsing the forums, stepped on the thread something titled like "how come something come into being from nothing". Out of nowhere, with just this title give this enlightenment to me. I've been (universe) always there. Alone (not sad, loneliness on human level). IT"S SO BEAUTIFUL. I"M (UNIVERSE) SO BEAUTIFUL. WORDS CAN'T EXPLAIN THIS. I (universe) wanted to experience how's it to be with others, OTHERS (human beings you me different awareness) I wanted to create and experience love because I can, I'M THE INFINITE CLAY (As Leo told in his consciousness video), I guess on the human level, my mind is not remembering something such enlightened gurus used to tell but rather getting to understand all these. There still ego persist within me. I agree upon It's like my child. It's all up to the grace, the nothingness itself to unfold this whatever destination. I won't be bitching about ego. It's how I'm manifested into this world. Beautiful. My human body just wants to burst into tears, burst into my pant and burst every liquid that can come out from my body with emotions filled up. Just stay here. Stay within this. It's so beautiful

@Leo Gura What do you think of the distinction between the words nothingness and no-thingness? As in, one pointing to the absence of anything altogether and the other pointing to the absence of "things" and objects. Rupert Spira for example says; It's not a thing, but it's not nothing. Would you agree with that?

Because when you finally realize it, you'll say, "OMG! It's NOTHING!!!" There are many words for it that we use: Nothingness Formless Everything The ALL Oneness Nonduality Absolute Emptiness Void Mu True Self No-self God Brahman Infinity Absolute Infinity Apeiron Etc.

There are two facets of Mother Nature - the dependent and the inherent aspects. These two aspects would exist concurrently and can be illustrated in a mathematical equation as below: - [FACET 1] … (-2+2) + (-16+16) + (-22+22) + (-133+133) + (0) + (-54+54) …, etc = 0 [FACET 2] Key: - FACET 1 = dependent arising. = the existence of mind - that conjures up perceptions, conceptions, labels, names, descriptions, shapes, values, languages, etc. = the existence of rising and falling phenomena. = the existence of beginning and ending processes. = all subjects and objects are created i.e. inherent existence is devoid. = the emptiness could be realised in various stages. FACET 2 = inherent existence. = the absence of mind to conjure up perceptions, conceptions, labels, names, descriptions, shapes, values, languages, etc. = the absence of beginning and ending processes. = the absence of conditional phenomena. = nothing has ever been created or changed. = the Buddha nature. Zero (0) = intermediation = absence = emptiness but not nothingness, = a mathematical value intermediate between positive and negative values. = the absence of any or all units under consideration. ...(-2+2) + ... + (-133+133) ... = values of fluxes that are dependent arising. ... + (-2+2) + (-54+54) + ... = this arising, that arises. ... + (0) + ... = this ceasing, that ceases = a stage of enlightenment. = all dependent arising are completely blown-off or extinguished. = a stage of perfect intermediation = a stage of absence = a complete realisation of emptiness. ( .... ) = the law of kamma = the universal law of balancing. -2+2 or -133+133 = the law of attraction. From the above mathematical equation, one could summarise the conclusions as below: - 1. Mother Nature is a system of constant with a factor of intermediation or absence. It means that nature would orientate toward a state of balance, intermediation or absence at all times. 2. When things run off-balance or when one stirs up in the nature - be it in volitional or non-volitional sense, the natural law that maintains equilibrium would take its course to balance it in one way or another across time and the planes of existence. 3. Anything that inherently exists would not involve change and created objects cannot inherently exist since that would involve change. 4. The dependent nature is similar to the inherent nature. An absence of any or all units under consideration is not equivalent to nothingness of any or all units under consideration. A perfect intermediation would mean a comprehensive absence of any or all units under consideration. It is also known as a complete neutralisation of conditional phenomena. The two facets of Mother Nature would always exist because it is universal and does not take sides; it merely maintains the equilibrium in accordance with a system that runs on perpetuity. And every existence (sentient, non-sentient, or any material things) consists of energy and matter that would orientate toward a harmoniously balanced condition that is in accordance with the universal laws of nature. In other words, all things or matters would only exist in perpetual conditions when there is a balanced circumstance. This is because when there is a balanced circumstance, there is a chance for aggregation i.e. under a balanced phenomenon, one could witness shapes or forms arising; under an imbalanced phenomenon, one could witness no shapes or forms arising and the cycle of conditional phenomena continues repeatedly. In other words, balance does not mean a devoid of duality or multiplicity, just like emptiness does not amount to nothingness. One clear example that can exemplify the dependent nature would be the orientation of a compass – an instrument used to indicate directions. The needle of a compass is magnetised and would always point toward magnetic north under any varying circumstances. Moreover, the dependent nature of phenomena is a necessary prerequisite for energy or matter to exist; without it, the energy or matter would be impossible. In the material Universe, the elements of energy become the main source for the something that arises as in object; rather than the general perception of nothingness. Everything in the material Universe is made up of energy. Atoms and molecules are made up of energy. Our bodies, our clothes, our cars, our houses are all made up of energy but what makes them different is their vibration. Energy is always vibrating at a different frequency under the influence of conditional phenomena. Everything has its own vibrational frequency – our thoughts, our feelings, the rock, the table, the car, the animal, the plant, the tree, etc. Even colours are merely expressions of certain vibrational frequencies. These scenarios are guided by a system of universal law known as the law of vibration. In fact, the law of vibration serves as a foundation for the law of attraction. The law of attraction states that we attract what we are sending out i.e. like attracts like, unlike repels unlike. Hence, favourable energies attract favourable energies and unfavourable energies attract unfavourable energies. Human thoughts are cosmic waves of energy that penetrate all time and space and it is the most potent vibration that can attracts what is desired or wished for. In other words, all sentient beings are electro-magnetic beings with the subtle mind consciousness that acts as an antenna or a radar detector constantly attracting and magnetising vibrational frequencies. Human thoughts are frequencies to which other similar frequencies are constantly resonating. This resonance is the basis for a universal law – the law of attraction. At the end of the day, the material Universe is merely a momentary appearance conjured up from a continuum of orientating energy and matter in space under the influence of conditional phenomena. Just like ice, water and steam are different appearances deriving from the orientation of H2O properties under the influence of the external conditions. In other words, it is the orientation of H2O properties that has taken place to conjure up the momentary outcome of it. The dependent nature is also an inherent existence whereby it is unchanging when viewed externally, uncaused, indestructible and eternal. This can be depicted in the repeating cycle of birth, life, death and re-birth in Mother Nature.

Why nothingness would have a substance? You're not digging deeper and chipping nothingness at it's core, because it has no core. Nothingness is not a mental/visual imagination, it's the lack of everything we know and can imagine and conceptualize. The very fabric of reality is the opposite of nothing. That's what the entire scientific model/paradigm is operating on. If this is nothing then what is anything?

The 2 biggest challenges I faced during meditation is physical pain and sleepiness - until recently. I meditate in the cover of night, when everyone sleeps in the other rooms. Leaning my back on the chair's backrest will make sleepiness kick in, if I don't lean my back, physical pain will start to distract me. How I solved this? By slowly drinking 750 ml of very strong Black Tea 15 min before the practice, my meditation session effortlessly skyrocketed from 20 min to 120 min in one night! Here's how it went: 0-31 min - Concentration Meditation: (on breath): I noticed how the ego will use different kinds of distractions (positive, negative and neutral thoughts) to keep me in the Great Illusion, this made me slightly angry at the my ego's nature. I also felt waves of gratitude and slight euphoria wash over me at the end. short break- to pee and just stand up (it's extremely bad to sit for more then 30 min without standing up, read google) 35-67 min - Do Nothing: I managed to enter some deep "nothingness states" in short bursts, I wasn't sleeping nor "present". short break 70 min-102 min - Neti-Neti Self Inquiry: During this practice I noticed anger build up, as though the ego didn't want to acknowledge it doesn't exist. At the end of this practice I opened my eyes and looked at my hands: 1 sec they felt mine, the other sec they didn't feel mine, then again mine, not mine, mine, not mine. During this I "felt" my consciousness "quickly shift" from duality to non-duality. This lasted for about 30 sec. Mind Blowing! short break (just laid on the floor contemplated on the experience) 110-135 min - Concentration Meditation: Now I started to feel the effects of tea wear off (fuck), so sleepiness started to kick in. Still meditated though. I slept extremely deep. My dreams were unusually vivid and long. May Infinity Bless You!

Almost a month ago I've had the Most Important Experience in my life, and here I want to put it all out because I want to be of service to those brave hearts, who entered this interesting and scary path of Truth, share some wisdom from Martin Ball and also I need your opinions and perspectives on what has happened and what it was about. First, I will show the table of contents, so you understand what will be discussed: Story itself Who is Arsen and how he gets in Barcelona - Me Casa Es Su Casa The most beautiful people I've ever met Kambo Octavio Rettig - the bravest warrior First session - Screaming Baby (With M.Ball comment) Second Session - Am I Dead? Third Session - Birth of The Men (With M.Ball comment) After-effects Ego strikes back (With M.Ball comment) There is so much work to do Ending Questions Story Itself Who is Arsen and how he gets in Okay, so I'm 23 y.o. and I'm from Russia, Saint-Petersburg About 4 years ago I was lucky enough to know about the Leo's channel while searching in the Internet on "how to deal with depression". I was at my first course of getting a degree and life seemed very boring, very stupid and did not make any sense, so I've started to learn about life, going to psychotherapist, reading books and watching Actualized.org videos and meditating. Years go by, I've improved myself and my despair turns into Curiosity. I was learning more about meditation, enlightenment, have some profound but stupid experience with Nbome (high harm potential), than I was on the Ayahuasca retreat and keep contemplating more about Nature of Reality and working with purification of self from traumas. Because of my ADHD (in Russia doctors know about it even less than an average American) it's hard for me to keep on long run for achieving something, so thats why when I've heard about 5-meo-dmt I become very intrested in working with it - I'm ready to do the steps which are better despite the fact that they are harder. In 2017 Leo leaked on the Blog information about Bufo Alvarius retreat in Barcelona. When I wrote to organisator there already was no room for participation. So the next year, when letter was dropped to my inbox I was excited so much, so I booked a place for myself immediately. I was very determined to go there and my goals were - 1) To realize the True Nature of Everything by my own experience 2) To connect more with my heart, which was really numb. Barcelona - Me Casa Es Su Casa For those, who are really interested in participation I want to share some information about environment and atmosphere around the place. The cost of the whole retreat was 550 euro, in that price was included: accommodation in the villa from 12th to 16th of July, three meals a day, Kambo ceremony, smoking toad venom with Octavio Rettig (I've made it 3 times). Villa was located in the Catalonian hills near little town, it's specifically prepared for events like Ayahuasca ceremony, San-Pedro etc. There is no houses around, so nobody can interrupt by accident. The house was big and very cozy, if you are alone you'll live in the common room for other men/women. But there was also a space for couples. Food was simple but very good (and Spanish). Environment was perfect - crickets made their natural trance music all the time, trees and mountains on the horizon was as beautiful as the night sky full of stars which you will never be able to see in a big city. The most beautiful people I've ever met The atmosphere was very cozy, the owners of villa - old spanish couple, which were very very kind and funny (they were hippies in the past). There was 30 people who was participating in the retreat (about 50% women, 50% men) and you can't even imagine how deep I was fulfilled because of the reason that I can have a real-life conversations about life/death/purpose/enlightenment/psychedelics etc. Those were the bravest and the most open people I've met in my life and the whole retreat was bounded with love and compassion to each other. Of course it was possible also because of the atmosphere of retreat and maybe if we've met in the metro or bank queue I'd never feel anything like this. But thats why setting is very important and there it was very good. I've met about 4 or 5 people who was watching Actualized.org - and those were the youngest ones). I've met a 21 girl from Europe, who already has had an experience with Bufo in the last year and after that she was going non-dual from time to time. Also I've met a guy from British Islands who has got his Life Purpose course done and his experience with 5-meo was very very profound, he has done a great job and it was very satisfying to see that we are not just mental masturabators, who pretend that they are Spiritual or Developed, but really are brave young human beings who are ready to do hard and scary work to become better and know what the fuck this strange Reality is! Kambo For me it wasn't feeling very profound. I was doing it for the first time, so it was a little dosage of frog nectar for me. So, I've made a half bucket of my own vomit, let a lot of my shit on the toilet (this one about holding emotions inside). When you do Kambo ceremony the next day is the day, when you feel lighter, more energetic and free. But for me it was very hard to recognize is it working or not. I have hard times feeling my body and sensations which occur (I'm very "in mind" person) and also I was so happy for an opportunity to communicate with so much interesting people, so it felt like even without any medicine I would feel myself very energetic and happy!) Octavio Rettig - the bravest Warrior Oh, this one is huge, so I don't even want to go deep. I'll be short: this men touched the darkest bottom of his Ego while have been addicted to crack-cocaine in Mexico and from skinny half-dead junky he turned himself to be the most authentic, inspiring and selfless human being I've ever seen. I recommend you to read his book "The Toad of Dawn" and learn more about him and his work. But you'd better be prepared - he won't crouch with your Ego and expectations about reality and how something should be. If you had a cocaine addiction and came to him for cure, it's not necessary that he will be kind with your Ego. He will be as it is required, because he knows very very well in what kind of shit hole you are. For me personally Octavio is a hero and an example of Man, who is not domesticated by collective Ego. It does not mean that he is cruel or harsh, quite the opposite. It feels like Universe is going through him without any filters and for those, who are used to politically correct media entertainment he can be shocking a little, so you better prepare yourself. P.s. Dr. Rettig has more than 8000 ceremonies in his practice, but It is true, that he has lethal cases in his experience: 3 people died while participating in the ceremony. 2 old men by some heart issue and one 26 years old women, whose cause of death is unknown to me. For 8000 - 3 people is a very little statistic, I guess more people die from skiing. So if you decide to participate you better know your health situation and know, that is not a fucking joke. Go see some videos about him and his work: VICE Documentary about Bufo Alvarius First Session - Screaming Baby After the first breath, I remember just how much everything was before my eyes turned into a bunch of "pixels" that broke visible reality into thousands of energy circles. My whole body began to dissolve in infinity. There was only breathing and singing Octavio. The energy was very very overwhelming for this unprepared mind and body I remember how I was found myself lying down and screaming as loudly as it was possible. As I unwillingly shouted and tore the grass under my hands, and Octavio sang next to me and seemed to help me. My scream reminded me of myself. When I came back conscious, I laid on my back and sat on me, speaking English: "Welcome brother, welcome." I looked at him and my heart was full of self-pity, I felt tears in my eyes and took his hand. People gathered around me because of my scream, I looked around trying to understand what exactly happened. Octavio gathered people into a common circle and began to say gratitude to the earth, God and sun, and then to sing and jump. I looked around and tried to understand what had happened. My knees shook and tears streamed down my cheeks. P.s. When I come back to Russia I had questions which I've asked Martin Ball about some issues and reactions which had happened with me. Here are some of his answers on my screaming: Second Session - Am I Dead? Surprisingly, almost all the times when I came to my senses after trips I felt the need to attract attention and hoped that something extraordinary had happened to me. This is some strange game of the Ego, which I still do not understand. I completely do not remember what happened during the trip, but I remember when I started coming back, that the atmosphere around me seemed very restless. I had false memories of Octavio hanging over me with a worried look, I heard someone beside him nauseating and vomiting, Octavio spoke Spanish, and I thought he was worried. In the window the organizer was talking to someone on the street. It seemed to me that everything went downhill. It seemed that I was dead and that's why people around are worried. I could not believe it, but at the same time I felt embarrassed and regretted that it happened. "Did I really die? That sucks." I tried to get up from the grass and see if my body remains on the ground. Fortunately, everything was in order. A beautiful girl (assistant) came up to me and I told her that I was worried and thought that I was dead. She said that I lay still and looked peaceful. It turned out that in reality nothing extraordinary happened or disturbed. It just "seemed" like that for me. Later, when I approached Octavio and said "I thought I was dead," he said "Next time we'll kill you for sure". Third Session - Birth Of The Man For the third time, I inhaled the smoke of the substance and held it in my lungs. I looked straight ahead and tried to keep awareness. The grass, the horizon in front of me and the celestial vault again turned into "pixels." I can not track the time between when I was "cut down". But the video shows that I started screaming and rolling on the ground even more intensively than in the previous times. I grabbed my face and cried with all my might, it seemed to me that it was necessary to shout. It was so intense that at some point it seemed to me that from crying my head would burst in two, starting from the mouth. Several people took my hands and feet to move away from people who were sitting in the shade. Then, as the video shows, I was blown into the nose of "Rapé", first into one nostril, then to the other. I paused and in half a minute Octavio pulled me up so that I would rise to my feet. I stood opposite to him and held my hands to his shoulders. After a few seconds I began to make growling sounds and said, looking into his eyes: "You fucking made it!", And then "You are warrior!" And grabbed him by the hair. Octavio shouted and asked me to let go, but I did not. Several men came to the rescue. Octavio got out of my grip, and I teased and rambled incoherently. When Rodrigo helped Octavio break free from my hands, I turned my attention to him and began to tell him "I love you so much", "Let me kiss you!", "Do you find me sexy?". When I said these phrases I feel a sense of playfulness and insane self-confidence, as well as satisfaction. It was not a flirtation (I guess), it was a celebration of life in a healthy male young body. I was happy and showed everyone around that I'm alive and free, I love myself, life and the whole world! Then I, enjoying the feeling of free energy and excitement and ecstasy from life, began to say "I love myself!" "I'm a beast!". I felt myself as if my entire body was free and spoke with sensations "Finally! At last everything is as it should have always been! ". I showed everyone around, to my friends who knew the Truth to a greater or lesser extent, that I'm free and happy. I felt and showed that life is the triumph of itself in all manifestations and we can only love, enjoy and express ourselves to the full, because everything is PERFECT in itself and nothing matters. P.s. Here I also have a commentary from Martin Ball After Effects Ego strikes back So before plane has even touched mother Russia's ground, I was back to my weak-willed behaviour. Our last night in spain was in Barcelona so we went to a McDonalds , I've made some sandwiches with baloney and cheese etc. It's hard for me to keep a clean diet (I guess because of weak vision). When I was back to Russia the first couple of days was kinda normal. I met my friends, told them about my experience, even made a lot of notes about it. But without any doubts I was aware that I have not a fucking clue about what should I do with my life. I was anxious and knew that I've got commitments on a job which I must follow, but wasn't able to push myself and for a couple of weeks my After-life was about watching youtube and porn, reading books (cause I didn't have a problem with doing something that I love), eating unhealthy food and feeling myself not very good. Also I've bought the Life Purpose course almost a year ago and couple month ago, almost at the end of it, I've started to procrastinate on it very badly. I was aware that my problem revolves around lack of vision and purpose. And as I understand it - enlightenment is something that is hard to make the purpose itself. Purpose is more about impact on the world. But even I was aware, I didn't have strength to work with the course. But after the retreat I realized that beating and judging yourself is never an option. Love is really the answer, you can think about it like the gasoline, which needed to run the engine. The less love you have, the less strengths and ability to do something good you also have. When I've reached the point of apathy, which made me too worried (cause I really started to behave in the direction of loosing job) I also asked Martin Ball about that issue, and here what he's answer was: Yeah, so I tried to not hate myself and abuse with negative thinking and try to let everything go until something will happen by itself. My relatives asked me to live in their countryside apartments with cats and a dog, while they have a vacation. So I went there and first couple of days I wasn't doing anything except drinking coffee and racing in GTA Online. And what I find very nice - I was really having fun while playing. Really! I was laughing, while sitting alone because of excitement of races! I really started to feel something new inside my heart) At some point, I even had a bad conversation with my boss, after which she said that I no longer need to come to work! I was very frustrated with my job, because I lost any sense of how is my job connected to my heart and generating love and fulfillment. And you need to understand, after I came back from retreat the option of me dying or going broke or getting fired was not scary for me as much. Because I testified by myself, not by Leo's or someone else video, books or articles - I'm THE FUCKING NOTHINGNESS! I am the NUCLEAR REACTOR which always on the half-life! I am THE MOST UNEXPECTED BY ANY MIND! I AM THE MOST LOVING CHILD AND THE MOST PERVERTED PEDOPHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY! So do you really think I was bothered about the perspective of becoming broke or fired? No, not really. There is so much work to do But I was aware, that every game has its own rules. And now, when I become aware of the game very well It becomes even harder to do some stupid nonsense, which I don't love. And this makes me even more responsible. So I realized it and become very determined to finish my course. I've made all the remaining exercises and now I have my Life Purpose in the one concrete sentence and I have a vision which become more solid every day. Now my goal is to embody my Purpose - understanding as deep as possible Spiral Dynamics, Mysticism and Spirituality, purify myself, move to Netherlands, become a consultant and become great, because I really want to love myself, without intimidation. At that point of my Journey I find hard to understand the nondual nature of everything to the point, where I can do some stupid work and still enjoying being. P.s. After I've become aware of my Life Purpose and Vision it have become much easier to do stupid job for paying my bills, because I understand that it's a tool for sometheng bigger. I was searching for the Purpose, without it any job seems shitty. Now I'm doing it from the place of Love, not from worries, anxiety and fear. Here is something what Martin said about Love and Being: And a little bit about surrender: Ending That was a very big one, but after I went to the retreat where were so many people, who can share my pain and my joy, I'm starting to really appreciate the importance of Unity and Friendship. I want to feel a bound with those of you, who went through these trials and tribulation. I want to say, that I am not 100% sure in any of what I've said. I'm really not sure that I get even 5% of my experience right and am not a deluded mothefucker with very slippery mind. Thank you very much for attention and now I dare to ask even more. Please, help me understand myself more and where I'm at. I will ask some of questions that occur, but I'm also waiting your honest comments and maybe even debunking of my thoughts and insights. Also thank Leo very much for his work, I think I could probably have killed myself in the past, if not having had such a great tool for growth. If anybody wants to communicate with me/ask about anything/participate in the next Retreat etc - You are very very welcome to my inbox P.s. Sorry for my English, I'm not aware where exactly I have a mistakes, so it's hard to fix it) Questions Based on the text you read, where do you think I'm on the spiral dynamics? Based on the text you read, where do you think I was and am on the Hero's Journey? What do you think I really missed? Where do you think I really delude myself? What you feel or think about everything or something that you read? What conclusions did you draw after reading? Based on the text you read how you will characterized me in one sentence? Do you have any advice for me? Why you think it can help growth or realize myself?

And the once you achieve your dream of becoming a very famous celebrity you will realize that you will one day die and be forgotten to the sands of time. What then, when you realize that your celebrity status hasn't saved you from your own mortality? And all those beautiful, talented, ugly, and untalented people are all under ground in a hundred years in just the same way being eaten by ants and worms with flesh rotted away. None of them significant and none of them insignificant. You sound so much like me when I was a teenager. I was suffering under the delusions that you are until I had my experiences of ego transcendence. I wanted to be better than everyone else and I couldn't stand being looked over in a crowd. I wanted the world to stop once I died, and for the whole world to care about me. And I lived my entire life for the legacy that I would leave after I died. My life wasn't important to me at all... only my legacy. And I was so neurotic because of my megalomania. I carried the weight of the universe on my shoulders because of my delusions of grandeur. And even as I achieved the things that I wanted to achieve, there was only a brief high of achieving significance. Then, I would go seeking again for more and more significance, like a drug. And a drug that I had to find ways to get, otherwise I was afraid I might fade away into nothingness. I had to be the best and come off just a particular way. What I didn't realize is that I had created a prison for myself and I was wasting my life for an idea. And that idea was my self-concept that I wanted everyone to know about and for that self-concept to be eternal. But the self-concept was never real... it was just an idea. Is this idea of superiority worth sacrificing your entire being over? What if you just allowed yourself to be human? What monsters would attack you then? Would you realize that you're not immune from the reaper then?

Why don't you just try it? 5-meo that is. materialist paradigm doesn't make sense to me. How does the brain create consciousness, if the brain exists within consciousness? I don't really feel like a software program is analogous to consciousness, it's more analogues to your sensory experience whereas hardware is the physical components of those experiences. The sensory experience is not consciousness itself, although its made of consciousness, its happening within awareness/consciousness. I assume you confusing are consciousness with actual sensory information, but you gotta question where that sensory information is taking place... Even if you do believe in materialism, consider how everything comes from within you or within the brain. The brain is creating its sensory experience and the external world, but because that is literally grounded in nothing, its almost a circular experience and can be concluded as an illusion or dream because there's no ground! The materialist paradigm fails at conceptualizing consciousness because it is literally empty, boundless, "space". If you have a deep psychedelic experience, you will see the contents within consciousness "space" such as sensory experience is akin to an illusion, you will actually sense that nothingness within your sensory experience and come to realize it is as real as a dream experiences - because its all consciousness. hence why Leo says that reality = fantasy, Life = Death, because it actually infused within one another. Like yin-yang.

It's been a week and a half since my last entry and lots of things have changed. I have connected more with my heart, and I know feel a relaxing, soft and blissful energy there that has been a blessing, in that I now know that I can trust in this energy centre completely as the source of my own happiness. It's been quite a flow, things come and things go. I was lead to this website called https://www.alphaimaging.co.nz and have been reading passionately about the ascended masters, and how they can help me ascend right here and right now. I ordered a protection grid from them, and was guided into a deep realm of nothingness by the masters for the grid to be put in place. I have also been reading a lot about the masters on other websites, and feel very drawn to their teachings which all come down to awakening the heart/secret chamber of the heart/holy heart as they call it. My ascended master is Lord Lanto. You can go on the website and find yours, only if you are serious and with pure intentions. My practices have changed too. I am starting to learn Iyengar yoga and surya Namaskar after the massage I had at the Thai place. They said I was so tense, so I thought that this type of exercise would really help with that. I am also practicing the OM Mantra and the Ujjayi breathe to help amplify my heart-centred awareness. I also have been experimenting with solfeggio frequencies, particularly that channeled by Nicola Tesla here: https://aurareader.com/blog/the-flow-of-the-i-am and I created this for this process: https://mega.nz/#!ulIAAaoQ!bqhm-KIa9k-p0lAqSIIYulSB7XAL2eKsHMQV-IdBFcw. In addition I have started to do affirmations, where I say whatever comes to mind, and use it to surrender into the heart, and this creates heightened experiences of awareness and relaxation too. Other than that I have been getting outside more, and having more fresh air, just enjoying life. I have phases where I realise how this reality is grounded in nothingness, and that I am nothingness; and this gives me a taste of just how surrendered a master really is to the divine. Other times I feel extremely grateful for being alive, and this increases the more I do the practices above sincerely. I do have a few books on decrees to the cosmic masters of the universe, however, I only say them while I'm home alone for everyone would think I had lost the plot praying to Hercules and Ares and Jesus etc. One amazing thing I learnt is that our higher self is the ascended master version of ourself. This blew my mind. The higher self is what we will become yes, but that is an ascended master too? It's very interesting and helped me give even more attention to the current ascended masters who are more evolved than my own higher self. Truly they are beings that shine brighter than any star. Another is to take this journey slowly, to not rush into things, and do things moment by moment. I have a long life ahead, and so there is no rush to ascend. And ironically when I take importance off of ascension and evolution and just be happy in this moment, that is what evolves me. This is because any thought at all that I give attention is another vote for the lower self. I vote for love as best as I can. Blessings.

Sadhguru Shoonya meditation is something to look up to if you want nothingness.

I am not enlightened and I haven't had not even one little awakening experience. But from all the videos / books / posts I've seen / read, my conceptual understanding of the nature of reality is: I. Reality is not physical, it's experiential. II. Experiences occur inside intelligent empty awareness (God / consciousness / nothingness). Nothingness is what creates experience and perceives it. III. Experiences are not separate from nothingness, they are made out of it. IV. There is only one thing that exists. All 'individual consciousnesses' are interconnected and inseparable. Reality is indivisible. So, that's my basic understanding of nonduality (please correct me if I'm wrong or missing something). I don't want to seem arrogant, but the reason I've created this thread is that I'm frustrated by seeing posts the authors of which (it seems to me) severely misunderstand non-duality (things like "Leo is a narcissistic psychopath, he thinks he is God!"). It seems like a very simple thing. Why do people so often misunderstand it, or maybe I misunderstand it myself?

let yourself to do alot of monkeymind staff, just watch it and its absurdety. at the right moment you will go to nothingness

@Leo GuraHow does absolute infinity fit into all this? If all duality collapses you could say it’s nothing as a facet of reality. But then there is absolute infinity. Is absolute infinity saying everything is happening? Or is it saying that everything is happening and it’s all nothing is just the nothingness facet with absolute infinity being it’s own facet? Or is it saying all the something and all the nothing are happening? Or is it beyond all that? And is god absolute infinity? Or nothingness? Or is god just reality and these are all facets of god?

Just my two cents, but I would say that RELATIVELY speaking, there is nothing infinite. You couldn't point to an infinite object. But objectively speaking, going to the Absolute most fundamental nature of reality (like, wth is going on, how is there something rather than nothing), we could call it Infinite. It can't be pointed to, or grasped intellectually, or written down in a book, etc. As for the lower entropy thing, I have wanted to research this more. There is a christian and physicist Hugh Ross whom I believe has a similar viewpoint. Again, I think relatively speaking, you want to feel good and loving each other is the way to do that. But absolutely speaking, Reality is an infinite singularity of absolute nothingness that has Infinity couched within it, so to speak. And it can't be touched and nothing anyone seems to do will ever change that.... For example, humans would HATE for the world to end, and yet objectively speaking who's to say that what humans care about matters? It reminds me of how Jordan Peterson seems to think there is objective morality... yes certain behaviors and ethics are ingrained in our psychology from billions of years of evolution. But that's not objective. Objective is regardless of what any subjective view thinks.... So objectively any growth and entropy decrease and ultimate purpose / story to reality is already existent now. Perhaps from a relative, linear point of view we are destined to unite, link up the entire universe to form a single conscious system, all get enlightened etc. Though the popular theory in physics is heat death through increased entropy (til there is absolutely nothing happening in the universe.... perhaps a ripe condition for a new universe to emerge). Anyways, I disagree that there is nothing infinite. It makes less sense to me that there is some super large object that is just like "uh guess I exist now... let's go ahead and make stuff happen". It makes more sense that... well can't be put into words... but that Infinity necessarily exists. It couldn't have been any other way..... Of course whatever th is going on it's all pretty remarkable.

This is the way I see it from the standpoint of insight itself, which implies actual cessation of psychological(experience, knowledge, memory) as the i. Non-Fear I ? I Fear Duality between (Fear) and (non-fear)=fear=? ?=thought=(knowledge-memory-experience)TIME ?=self=(choice-the chooser) that chooses between the opposites. Duality-TIME. You the reader-observer will represent:(the whole action as (insight-truth). As you look at this moment of duality between the opposites up above, (You) are representing (the action of insight) that sees the whole of that movement of time-duality, which is one and the same movement of Truth-Love. ————————————————— From within the loop,(?),there is bondage of choice-time-(conditioned mind-self)........We do not see the whole of it, but instead are pursuing one side or the other of these opposites. And from that vantage point seems like the only available option. Because we are not at a far enough distance from that loop,(?), we are unable to see the whole of that loop. There must be freedom from that loop and all it implies for there to be this holistic insight of the loop. As long as fear determines action we remain in that reactive pattern of creating the opposite out of the its opposing opposite and choosing between those. Choice implies confusion, contradiction, and conflict, which breeds further fear......Example; we are unable to see that the world is round from down here on the ground. But far out in orbit it’s apparent that the world is spherical.⭕️. Same thing here. Being bound by the limited perspective (time-thought-self(chooser that chooses between), (dualistic perspective), (Time-fear), we cannot see the whole. So not seeing the truth of that fact holistically we continue to move within that same pattern of ? (fear-time). But from the outside looking in, or high above, FREEDOM NOT BOUND BY “LIMITED VANTAGE POINT”, we see the whole of choice-duality as being one unitary movement of time. And in that understanding-SEEING(perception-insight), there is whole action that ends that the perpetuation of that pattern? Again when we observe, the mind being dualistic, creates the opposite out of its own opposite, and non-fear is then born of fear and vice versa. So with the fact of fear, duality-thought, creates an abstraction of non-fear and calls it love. But it is not love.....Love-insight-truth has no opposite. In this action of WHOLE INSIGHT-TRUTH-LOVE are one and the same movement of that which is timeless. Non-causal Because to create an opposite out of its opposite implies time-causation. If there is causation-time, freedom is not, and if freedom is not, insight, love, truth are not. Once out of this limited mechanical and fragmented perception, which demands the ending of fear-time, there can be whole observation from above that will find out that time and all its implications are all a function, or form, or process, if I can use those words, of TRUTH-NOTHINGNESS. TRUTH, (The whole) CONTAINS TIMELESSNESS-TIME. DUALITY OR DISTINCTION IS PART OF THOUGHT-SELF-MIND Sorry if it’s confusing and nonsensical. Lol just woke up from long night crying toddler?

if we would use the symbols like a mind map, ( i used to call something like that a cognitive map ) it would not be relevant to know what stage someone is solid in - it would only show what stages someone has to transcend specifically. for example politics - they could figure out where they are indoctrinated in and what they dream it to be. they could mirror that one to any other symbol in lines (maybe in drawing or some kind of stone or magnet etc) and see how that has effects on their body level how they behave at home etc. what that meant to them in their family and if they acted accordingly or if there are paradoxes. could also help to find out where they got certain beliefs from, how these beliefs are intertwined with other religions and find new elements for their beliefs. all to search for new information and then transcend it. it could be helpful especially for those who faced nothingness. it would be something like the life game. something like a thread to hold on, something to really put the belief/spirit in relation to everyday life.

@Leo Gura@Leo Gura I thought that everythingness = Nothingness. But something is just one perspective out of an infinity of perspectives right? I don't see God, I see a part of god. I see a part of who I am when I see a personal universe. If I would see god, I would see everything at the same time, which is the same as seing nothing at all. So if I experience something, I see only a part of the whole (I see something which is not nothing, which is not everything, which is not god) and I don't see how I could become Everything or "seeing" everything other than if my conscience disappears. From what I believe right now is that the only time I'm NON-DUAL is when I sleep without a dream. I will never be able to attain non-duality as a conscious human being, there will always be some sort of division, that's the job of my conscience to create division. I'll meditate on this and try 5-MEO-DMT if I manage to find some, not this easy to find! Have a good night man.

God is Nothingness. But what you're missing is that Nothingness is identical to Somethingness. Thus, everything you see before your eyes right now is God. Somethingness = Nothingness. God = Everything. This is the essence of nonduality. All distinctions collapse such that everything becomes Nothingness. Nothingness is NOT a blank void. Nothingness is precisely everything you see around you. You are holding Nothing as distinct from Something. Which is a duality. When that duality finally collapses, you will realize, "Oh shit! Everything was Nothing the whole time! There is no difference between existence and non-existence, life and death, reality and fantasy."

So many years in school, so many books to read, so much knowledge to learn. So many concepts, labels and facts that school gave us. But did school ever gave us a good valid pointer to the infinite consciousness? I don't remember I've ever heard my teachers point to the empty awareness that we are. Is nothingness some kind of secret or why don't our school ever mentioning it? After all, isn't our own consciousness the most mysterious thing is this whole universe? Why not start contemplating that in school, before we learn about all the stupid biased history that we are brainwashed with? Is it just the schools in my country that are like that, or have you noticed it as well?

I've never experienced what Leo calls this "God-Mode". But to me, God experiences all the perspective at the same time. So, if I was truly experiencing a "God-Mode", I would not have any limited experience at all. That would be Nothingness without space and time. Maybe there is something I don't get here? when I get to this "God-Mode" I'll get it, but I don't think I'll be god. Otherwise, if I were truly god, I would not be aware of anything because I would be aware of everything at the same time. Any thoughts?

@Leo Gura Took me a minute or two to understand how "Everything i say is a lie" is a paradox. I get it now, it's a very good one I'll try to remember it Would Energy/Matter exists without the mind creating this paradox? I don't think so, if something makes 100% sense, no need to be any energy, time and space would disappear, so consciousness would also disappear. Nothingness would be. So when you say you become god when you are on a 5-MEO-DMT trip, I'm not sure I get you. In my mind, If you were truly god, you would not be aware of anything, there would not be any "observer" with his limited perspective to observe anything and report the trip to us later on. No? I think the closer to god you are is when you sleep without a dream, that's true death, true enlightenment if I can say. But you are right, I've got to experience awakening to know what it is.