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God Realization from what I have seen is just understanding more than the usual psychedelic Awakening (where one just projects an ego in nondual unity on the visual field or Nothingness or whatever). Like, how one imagines the past real time right now (which one does, and it doesn't exist anywhere else). And how one imagines everything else just to fool oneself (like parents, job, being a person,...). The problem with God Realization is: There remains a subtle "realizer" of all of that. Very subtle, very hard to transcend, since this is just a totally empty "Individuality". That is the last hindrance to Enlightenment, which then is therefor also stable if that element is seen through. Wilber calls it Empty Witness (see for example Religion of the Future). But not fully transparent and fully boundless nondual without individuality. And that is why God Realization is not stable sobre. These remaining separate-self elements kill the Awakened nondual states after the trip. In Enlightenment, all of that is totally obvious, and since these components are in place, or rather there illusion-counter-components (like self-existing personality, space, time, outer world, duality/out-thereness) are seen through in real time. Below, the outcome first, and then which kind of illusion-part of the separte-self structure it shuts off. Awakened (impersonal, not personal, no empty witness or duality of any kind left), Nondual (boundless and infinite field/vastness, Unity, Oneness) and Groundless (mere appearance, really just mere appearance or hologram-like character of the world hovering in Infinite limitless Nothingness, that behind your body), no external world if it is not imagined. Eternal and timeless and absolutely fundamental, since its boundless and can't go anywhere else, it is more fundamental than time in mathematical language. And how one imagines past &future&"background-fairy-tale-of-the-separate-body-mind" real time right now. Just more appearances/modulations appearing in the Infinite vastness/Infinite Being. Infinite and spaceless (since space is literally imagined in it, and with that any 3-,4-, or n-dimensional space, be it euclidian, non-euclidian, or whatever of the infinity of possibilities) Blissfull and salvation, since the separate-self-contraction suffering/bad-feelings and thoughts can get cut off/transcended in real-time by just looking into their nature. They appear & literally "move" within True Infinite Being, as its "modulations". That cutting-off of the separate-self-arisings real time is what unlocks the states mentioned above, and their resulting insights/realizations. Basically cutting-off real time separate-self arisings done proficiently enough= creates awakened states (above) and same effects as psychedelics. And all of these states and/or insights above one can happpen one at a time, or two, or three combined... Any combination possible, and that creates the myriad of half-baked and different Awakening & (smaller) Enlightenment-descriptions ("Kenshos in Zen"). Ever heard some people have new Awakenings all the time? That is that. For truly awakening to what one truly is, beyond any doubt, one needs all of them. When that Waking Up happens, it is definitive. Because it kills the former illusion of being a separate-anything. That can never be believed again. It is dead. It always ever was an illusion. Even the God-realized ego/separate-self. All a dream. There was never anything else than the Infinite Ocean of Being, formerly with ignorance and illusion arising within it, and now back to the real state of "things", the ignorance no longer arising. Basically, one gets all facets of the Infinite Absolute True Being all at once, and once this happens Infinite Being is totally obvious. It is You. All of it. And can't get more Infinite than Infinite and more eternal than eternal, that is why it is final. The rest is just more appearance IN You (or consciousness OF x, man, woman, Alien, Alien n+1,...). Interesting for sure, but not so urgent. Got Eternity and Infinity to explore, remember? And even if getting distracted by the Lila-show for a moment, "it" is "just there", by just reaching out and killing the illusion-aspect that got re-established by just looking into its nature and just finding the Infinite Ocean of Awareness-Being. Your True Self. So in summary, God-Realization as used here, is a step in the right direction, but it is still not true Enlightenment. Of course, what is sold as Enlightenment is in 80%-90%+ cases not Enlightenment as waking up out of the dream, but just some nondual "Awakening". A dual dream has become a nondual dreaming. Dreaming nonetheless. What Leo calls (correctly) nondual BS. Zen differentiates between Enlightenments (Kenshos), and fully waking up (calling that Great Enlightenment). Only in the latter one there is waking up from the dream. With the former one, a nondual, or god-realized, or whatever ego/separate-self continues dreaming its nondual dream... Lovely place to be at, but still a dream So God Realization is between the naive nondual-Enlightenments with a dreamer still well and alive dreaming nondual-unity-dream, and true waking-up Enlightenment is beyond God Realization, since even the "subtle" one having the God-Realization is seen through as more dreaming. And one can wake up only once, then any separate-anything illusion is ruined for good. That illusions never recovers its fully. And then, one can go still playing with the Aliens for ever new insights, if one is so inclined... So it is tricky, because Leo basically has a Pre-Trans-Confusion in Wilbers lingo. Sorry Leo, but needs to be said. God-Realization is "higher" than a standard nondual-awakening (Nondual Unity Awakening of ego still believing its background story like parents, world, others). These are the Nonduality or Enlightenment-Fundamentalists he criticizes. but it is lower than True Enlightenment, since the final individuality/separate-self/God-realized-ego is not seen through. And once the psychedelic state delivering most of the items listed above wears off, this remaining not seen-through-in-real-time individuality/separte-self/ego kills the awakened state. and since it is all very subtle and impossible to fully understand without having had these awakened states, it is also IMPOSSIBLE to understand True Enlightenment from the perspective of God-Realization before it truly happens (else, one would be already fully enlightened when having seen through the last subtle elements of separation/individuality), Water by the River recommends the age-old recipe of Matthew 7:15-20 "You Will Know Them by Their Fruits". And the proof for that is: Psychedelic Godrealization doesn't last. When the psychedlic wears off, the filters/lenses/contraction of the remaining separate self/ego kick back in, and bye bye awakened nondual states (the ones listed above). And even during "God-Realization", the remaining individual projects itself mightily on all these insights. And then we get Infinity of Gods and stuff not for the faint-of-hearted as compensation. While there is only one Being/Reality, we now have an Infinity of "god-realized" egos. Basically, God-Realization never gets rid of the Individuality/Separation fully, there is always a subtle "someone" having all these realizations. Selling "going all the way" by the River PS: Roger Thisdells version of that. vs. Even the God-realized ones need to fully jump into the mixer Void PS PS: https://www.actualized.org/forum/search/?q="God Realization"&author=Water by the River&sortby=relevancy

@bambi I understand what you’re requesting but it’s hard to answer. It’s like requesting me to draw in a page the dimensions of the depths of the ocean. I’ve spent 6 weeks with Ralston in person and read all his major books, some many times over. Slowly he begins to change your whole way of thinking and looking at reality. I can tell you it is NOT like other spiritual books, at all. It’s another beast completely. He fucks your whole mind open. On his retreats I had awakenings daily, and it’s not just enlightenment. We dove into the illusory nature of language, identity, emotions, space, social constructs, perception, basically how the whole thing works, not just what it is (awareness, nothingness)- as other spiritual books and @Water by the River would tell you

Does all apparent experience/apparent somethingness require an apparent experiencer/perceiver? Looking at it this way it seems Infinity is very binary. Only two options: 1.) no apparent experiencer and nothingness like deep sleep or 2.) an apparent experiencer and somethingness. Is THIS really that black and white? These are the only two ways of reality?

Zen is a form of Mahayana Buddhism. Vajrayana is Tantric Buddhism, which has Mahayana at its base. Mahayana = Nondual Enlightenment to Infinite Impersonal Being WHILE appearances/the world occurs as summum bonum. Philosophical base is middle way/Nagarjuna, or Infinite Being can never be hinted at as object of any kind. Hinayana (earliest buddhism): Cessation as goal, mainly via the concentrative Jhanas. Nirvikalpa. Blank out. Nothingness. But coming out of it, not necessarily being aware that the same Nothingness is also the substance/Infinite Reality of everything else. That would be the Nondual Enlightenment of Mahayana. Hinayana doesn't exist anymore, but Theravada as successor-form. Theravada doesn't evolve from Mahayana but from Hinayana. For example, forms of Thai Buddhism, forest tradition, Ingram, Frank Yang, Rob Burbea and so on are basically Theravada-based or influenced. Although nowadays Theravada also can have Nondual Enlightenment as goal, and not just cessation/Jhanas (as a general statement, especially with the latter persons mentioned. Ingram has a nice chapter on map-failure in his "Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha". In Zen/Vajrayana/Mahamudra/Dzogchen I guess the map wouldn't have failed so drastically, and that is why he added meditation techniques from there also. Same with Frank Yang and Rob Burbea. The equation of cessation=Enlightenment got updated in later Buddhism pretty fast. The same Nothingness experienced in cessation (as, um, NOTHING-ness) can also be experienced WHILE appearances arise, that is (true) Nondual Enlightenment (Nothing-ness+Something) when it is impersonal Infinite Being with no other and not just merging in nondual Unity of a still-alive-though-thinned out separate self). Early Hinayana: Cessation as goal. Theravada is a continuation of Hinayana, although Enlightenment=cessation(s) got updated to true Nondual Enlightenment in Theravada also, at least in some teachers/lines. But it has a certain "hangover" of valueing cessations a lot, which is ok, because if that is done often enough the Nondual Enlightenment can and does open up. Cessations = Enlightenment would be a prime form of Leos Buddhist Reductionsim. https://www.shambhala.com/historical-introduction-excerpt-integral-buddhism/ And there is not just "one" Buddhism. There exist so many schools, with development over millenia. And btw. Jainism is so similiar to Buddhism that there are doubts that the historical Buddha even existed (because Buddhas story is pretty much exactly the same as the story of the founder of Jainism Vardhamana Mahavira, see below in blue) or if it is just a founding myth. A framework. @Leo Gura: One of your favourite Buddhism-extremist-reductionist afficionados just killed the Buddha. And requests to be promoted to part-time Buddhist-Iconoclast. And maybe Nondual-Enlightement-Reductionist. But no longer Buddhist reductionist, because, you know, got kicked out of the club for killing the Buddha . And he even delivered some juicy books with a lot of aliens&faries&angels&demons inside as atonement. Oh my, I hope you get my humor For killing the Buddha softly, see for example "Secret Drugs of Buddhism: Psychedelic Sacraments and the Origins of the Vajrayana": "It is customary to assume that the Buddha was a historical character (even iconoclasts like Trevor Ling do not question his historicity) but parallels with non-Buddhist systems raise a suspicion that this may not be so. It is no longer believed that there was an ancient Greek poet called Homer who composed the Iliad and Odyssey. These “Homeric” epics are now understood to be compiled and refined from the compositions of many individual storytellers. Might not the teachings of “the Buddha” be analogous? Could the teachings also have been an age-old body of wisdom, analogously compiled, refined and imputed to a single, fictitious author? These teachings would have been transmitted orally but eventually, when writing systems arrived, transcribed as suttas. The earliest Buddhist art does not depict the Buddha as a person, but merely in symbolic form. In these so-called “aniconic” images, he may be shown as a parasol, an empty throne, pillar of fire or a pair of footprints. Could this be an acknowledgment that “the Buddha” was not a person in the normal meaning of the word? There is a strange feature of the Buddha’s biography which rarely receives comment and that is its similarity to the life of Vardhaman. Also known as Mahāvira (literally, “great man”), Vardhaman was son of a king, born with the 32 major and minor signs of his body. His father, the king, consulted wise men who foretold that he was destined to become a world-ruling emperor or a great spiritual leader. The wise men advise the king that to prevent him becoming a great sage, he must keep his son distracted with amusements. This the king does until, as an adult, Vardhaman escapes from the palace, meditates in the forest and achieves enlightenment. He teaches a non-Vedic path which, he says, is called Jainism. Anyone who knows the life of the Buddha will recognize all this as the same story. Even so, I have left out a lot of parallels such as identical personal names of characters in the biographies. Buddhism and Jainism also share many of the same … Killing the Buddha by the River softly while selling water

Great brother!!! Much luck to you on your journey. You will love nothingness too, just higher the pychedelics amount little bit, but of course be careful. Keep us updated. Much love! Peace!!!

Not in this one, it was very much focused on Love. I've had some insights into nothingness before, though I'll admit I haven't contemplated it as deeply as some other aspects. "All Roads Lead to Rome" hehe This book is new to me, but I'll be sure to put it on the list, premise sounds great. A lot of material to get through during this summer break!

Did you realize what nothingness is in your trip? Of course, Mind is one big bucket. And everyone have similar experiences in this path, because direction goes to same destination. Path is same and just tradition is different. Moreover, have you ever heard Irina tweedie? She has a book that is called daughter of fire. It is an amazing book. I read all of it and than consume 7 gr dried shrooms. Love melted me, I understand the book completely within hours. Lol. It is amazing to read and after that experience. What a beautiful ride.

In those wild awakenings did you drown in Divine ecstasy? It's so fundamental that you will be too busy being it to need to understand it. Maybe you've already tasted it. If you are looking for some logical explanation of Love to be revealed to you on an existential level I don't think you can find it. Because the word Love in human language references an emotion. And it is that but existentially it is so much deeper. While nothingness, Consciousness, Infinity, and Oneness, those things line up to their definitions both on a human level and existentially. Wikipedia" Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure.[1]

Excellent. Although the spectrum you mention with up and down exists, calling it up and down already probably has for many a subtle value-judgement inherent to it, since often "up" is prefered to "down". In my perspective, it is either deeper into manifestation/temporariness/appearance (and finally the illusion and its mechanisms), what you call "up", and which I consider finally deeper into illusion/appearance "deeper" into everpresent eternal unchanging always here True Infinite Being, creating a karmic-momentum on the soul level to tending to stay realized and aware of True Infinite Being. Or what you call "down" Yes. I would even phrase it as Infinite Being CONTAINING Consciousness OF + ( Human body + thoughts). When Infinite Being expresses itself in one perspective/being as Deep Sleep, there is not even Consciousness (since consciousness as the term we normally use is always consciousness OF). Just the potential of Awareness is "there"/"not there". Since it is NOTHING-ness if nothing arises. Yet it is real. More real than "anything" else. But since here all duality collapses, one could call this Infinite Being either Awareness (or not call it Awareness, but just Absolute/Infinite/Nothingness/True Being). Awareness is an inherent potential of Infinite Being, but it is just "not there" (as consciousness, or more precise consciousness OF) if nothing arises. At the same time, it can be validly said Awareness "is always there", independend of something arising or not. It is just not the normal consciousness (OF sth.) we think of when nothing arises. When anything arises (and be it a very subtle consciousness OF any arising), we have consciousness OF. And that is already one level "lower" from True Infinite Being. Fully grasping this is the last step to Enlightenment. Mind/separate-self can't go "there", to Awareness/Nothingness "of" nothing. "And again God said, Thou mayest not see my face, for a man shall not see me, and live." Any movement of focus or attention, any mind-movement, is already not IT. Too much movement in "the" pristinely empty Infinite. "It" can't turn around over its shoulder to see itself, that is already too much movement, subtle manifestations and movement of attention/focus. Yet, the Absolute can be intuited as that where any mind-movement can not go to, the spaceless timeless Absolute "beyond" all experience/movement. Space (or any n-dimensional room) is the first manifestation/arising in the Infinite, and then come appearances which change/move (which is time). And then comes consciousness OF arising/appearance, but only when these building blocks are in place. So already quite late... And when these first archetypes (space, time, appearances) are "understood/realized" as appearing/arising in Infinite Being/Awareness, and Infinite True Being as always here, as that formless Infinite Reality before which all other states like waking,dreaming, deep sleep, Alien, n+1 "roll" before... That Infinite True Being where attention/focus/Consciousness OF can never "go" but only appear within... then the Absolute/Infinite can be intuited/realized. "One" can stand at the threshold "of" "it" and realize no attention/focus/mind/separate-being/consciousness-OF can ever "go" "there". And paradoxically, "IT" can be realized from looking "back" from one level lower. All "one" can do is bounce at that threshold (of the Infinite, "its" Event Horizon) and truly realize that NOTHING can ever "go" to the Absolute Infinite Being, since that would already be a movement within it. And this way, paradoxically,IT can finally realize/understand itself. But all necessary conditions must be met, and separate-self (I thoughts I feelings, the hypnotizing machine of concepts), all arisings of the "outer" world as empty appearances, and time (as always here) and space (normally the last to go and realized as imagined too within the Infinite) must be transcended and seen through. All manifestation, including the first archetypes of time and space... And then the Infinite Ocean of timeless limitless Awareness/appearance can realize itself to be the only Infinite eternal Being, one without a second. Your Muppet-Show Salesman by the River, selling to Himself within Infinite Being

It's identical. If you havent shaken and rolled across the floor from the waves of Infinity, nothingness, and Consciousness - (Divine Bliss and Being itself) than guess what - you havent awoken to Love.. There's more to go. Buddhism was the most accurate when it comes to awakening. And to my knowledge a specific awakening to Love simply isn't there. It wasn't for me either- because Love is the whole thing and doesn't have to announce itself. If you aren't writhing on the floor than you aren't awake. It you are than you know Love and Being. Love is a kundalini awakening. My awakening was spawned purely from meditation just as a side note. I still have my doubts about forced awakenings. But that is why I align with Peter Ralston. The difference is I acknowledge that all of it is Love.

I'm not integrated in yellow at all. I think my world views are green, but spiritually orange. I grew up Baptist Christian and lost faith in high school after learning more about world history and science. Leo's God videos kinda go over my head. I understand his words but not his experience. Lately I been wondering about life after death. The atheist in me thinks nothing happens, lights out for eternity. I push those scary beliefs out of my thoughts. I have some aging and sick relatives that I'm not ready to lose and I'm having a hard time accepting their impending nothingness. I'm not healthy either and I wonder about my death and I'm afraid to leave my young autistic son alone in this world. I respect Carl Jung's work on consciousness and psychology. I never heard of him until Jordan Peterson went viral. I had hope when Jung said he doesn't need to believe in God, he knows. I respect that confidence in knowing. I watched an interview with Ken Wilbur. and I was really impressed with his overall theory of self. The quadrants are hard for me to grasp but it was an interesting interview. And the YouTube algorithm recommended the inner world outer world documentary which really blew me out of the water. It was so visually convincing and beautiful. Well put together. And it stirred a lot of emotions and thoughts in me. I rejected my Christian faith because I believed it was man made to control the masses and is utter bullshit. My church used to pray for George Bush and the youth leaders had rigid attitudes about abortion and same sex marriage. I just had contempt for them. I am realizing that the ancient principals from the Bible and other religions are useful stories, motifs, or patterns to be interpreted and applied symbolically. And now I'm curious about universal consciousness. Source. Any recommendations would be appreciated.

Dr David Hawkins already solved all of this theory and work. Conciousness itself is not the highest field. Awareness itself suspends conciousness, and Perception suspends Awerness, and Nibbana/Void/Nothingness suspends perception. Each layer is infinitely times more powerful and energetic. Enlightenment is beyond the last layer. Leo is clearly not interested in these layers or enligthenment, he enjoys simply exploring conciousness in its infinte imagination, that his joy and bias. Probably as an INTP 548 he has an egoic need to find some novel understanding or add something intellignet or competencey to the domain of spirituality, and so hes trying to do it with conciousness exploration. This is not the same as enlightenment. Enlightenment is of a energetic field that contains and suspends conciousness

Nothingness or suchness is the essence of every appearance, appearing in Infinite Impersonal Being. Form(or appearance) is Nothingness, Nothingness is appearance/form. The same "stuff/non-stuff". Realizing this beyond a doubt is Enlightenment, expressing and stabilizing these awakened impersonal states in daily life is the path that follows after it. Infinite Being lives itself, the universe "universes", without any contraction into a centre of perception and its lenses and filter-illusions. Consciousness OF a woman, OF a man, OF a human, OF an alien... any consciousness OF or more radically, any consciousness OF anything, be it self-reflective or not, is like a show of states (appearance/form/temporary/not really existing but just appearing) rollling "before" the impersonal Awareness of True Being. Which is pure Impersonal Awareness, unaware of itself if nothing arises, but with potential for sentience. Infinite Being. And which is Nothingness if nothing arises/appears. The consciousness OF something (man/woman/alien) is wave surfing on the ocean of Infinite Being, stabilizing living from the impersonal nondual awakened states where this Infinite Reality if Infinite Being is obvious (and "living itself") is dropping into the Infinite Ocean and becoming it fully. And afterwards, one can still do wavesurfing, or consciousness-OF-x exploration. And rumour has it that wave surfing the Infinite Ocean can become quite tiring & stressfull & and a bit less than relaxed if done for too long by a separate-self-contraction. And at some point when one doesn't want continue surfing ever new waves (of which there exists an Infinity of, forever and ever to be explored by God "itself") the dropping & dissolving & and fully BEing the ocean can happen. But wave surfing is all fine and well as long as it is fun... Selling neoprene suits so that the dropping into the ocean feels comfy for all tired wave-surfers by the River

Look, understand what it is that I do here. I explore Consciousness to discover things about it. It's like exploring the Earth back 2000 years ago. You never know what you'll find. All I'm doing is exploring Consciousness and making certain observations about it. This doesn't mean I have all the answers. I speak of what I have discovered so far, and who knows what I will discover tomorrow. So I don't place any limits on it. But what is obvious is that humans are generally stuck in a very narrow band of consciousness, regardless of whether they are enlightened or not. As a basic example, an enlightened man can fail at a basic thing like understanding what the consciousness of a woman is like. A woman does not have the same consciousness as a man. It's qualitatively different. Even though of course Nothingness is at the root of all consciousness. But reducing it to Nothingness means you still don't understand the consciousness of a woman. To understand the consciousness of a woman you'd have to stop being a man and become a woman. And if you actually did that, your understanding of consciousness would grow.

It's a very tricky question because the future IS a dream. And you are asking about the future. In general I would say that it is God's nature to dream forever. However it's also possible to take pauses in dreaming and rest in pure Infinity/Nothingness.

You have to be able to press the button: nothing means anything. the meaning does not exist. then reality opens up. It is not a question of space between thoughts but of deactivating their charge. You have to get into a mental frequency where you are completely aware that nothing you think has any meaning. then you enter a state of flow. Whoever says that this is entering into nothingness does not understand. Without thought there is something, in fact, there is everything. It is the thoughts that are nothing

I was chasing enlightenment for years and thinking that I can reach enlightenment via pychedelics (thats how my addiction to infinite love therefore pychedelics was created). However, it is not true. Consuming pychedelics, activates the mind. Therefore attachment with thinking still occurs, such as I am god / creator (because, you feel as god, which is attachment with thinking via feeling), same as infinite love, infinite nothingness, infinity etc... However, enlightenment has nothing to do with mind, out of any charts. Because, "I" (who consume pychedelics or etc...) can not be enlightened, when "I" drops enlightenment happens. Which is True Being ( As deep sleep, No experience, no thinking, nor attachments etc...) The one who Borns, consume pychedelics, realize what god is was just an illusion in the first place. Therefore, nothing has never happened and now is before so called birth. As Peter Raltson says "Enlightenment is simply being where you already are". or Papaji "Nothing has never happened, and realization of that is Nirvana". or Ramana Maharsi "You are closest to who you are when you are in deep sleep", or Rubert Spira "Eating an apple better than Recognition of Enlightenment, which is what You really are". And with Enlightenment, the mind permanently becomes quite, desires ends, therefore suffering ends. that's it. I am not against the pychedelics. I tripped many times and was addicted to pychedelics / mystical experiences. Because, they are the best ride in the park. I hope this helps. Much Love!!!

It also is a thought though. That's one of the things that many nondualists and Buddhists get wrong. You definitely can grasp Infinity with thoughts and mind, however it does require a shift in your state. The only reason that thoughts do not grasp Infinity is because humans have too low of a default state of consciousness. This is common mistake across my different teachings. See, when nondualists and Buddhists meditate, they turn off their higher mind in order to hit Nothingness, and the limitation of that method is that you cannot think deeply about Infinity. Which is a shame, because there is much worth thinking about it. Using mindlessness to reach Nothingness works, but no one appreciates at what cost, and takes that to be the only way. But it is far from the only way. You are just a simple state change away from being able to grasp Infinity with your thoughts. But it's a huge leap in state.

Time and space are similar. Without space everything would be concentrated into a point or a singularity if you want. There would be no "room" for anything to exist in. The same for time. Without time everything would happen at once. There would be no "room" for stuff to happen in. I imagine that is what being God would be like: a singularity without space or time, everything would be "known", but it would also be a kind of "nothingness".

Hey folks, hope everyone is doing so well. As the title states, do you think posting on your personal Facebook profile to gather a following is a good idea? The intention is to gather a following and eventually, sooner than later, make an offering, i.e: coaching, sell something I believe in... Thing is most of my fb friends are old friends prior to awakening, and while I'm getting better at judging myself and others less, there's still some feelings of self consciousness that come up. I randomly get these ideas of posting a random thought or spiritual idea. I've done this in the past, but wasn't consistent about it. That's another thing, i really want to feel into this before doing it half heartily as i have at times in the past and then not stuck to something because I wasn't feeling too excited about it anymore. Sometimes I get 'deep' and go to the Who Am I, nothingness, non-duality area, and not even a lot of my spiritual friends would resonate with that. Or maybe they would? Not exactly sure what i would be posting but there is some excitement. What's your opinion on this? Thanks!

Death feels like an ultimate escape. Suddenly everything doesn't matter. Responsibilities, work issues, health issues, psychological issues, family, society, other people, war, disease, end of the world. Nothing matters. It's like you suddenly gain ultimate control over everything. All those things that you were so afraid of and worried about are powerless now. It's like when you graduate school and realize that you don't have to care about opinions of your stupid teachers anymore, or grades, or relationship with other kids. Or like waking up and realizing that you don't have to go to that work that you hated anymore, because you've just won the lottery. Not even for a single day. It's over. I think a lot about how you can just drift away into nothingness and everything will be gone. And you will finally be at peace. Darkness and total silence.

1 hour ago, Water by the River said: Like any other being, it seems to me you strive for what brings you satisfaction. Now you equate pleasure with bliss or non-suffering. Which I didn't do: The Sat & Chit in Sat-Chit-Ananda, or the bliss & love that a sobre Awakened Nondual State brings is also not pleasure, and I assume you are well aware of that. So lets look up Wikipedia (I know..) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pleasure "Pleasure is part of various other mental states such as ecstasy, euphoria and flow. Happiness and well-being are closely related to pleasure but not identical with it." "Pleasure refers to experience that feels good, that involves the enjoyment OF something". For example of Infinite-Consciousness-chasing-exploration. The bliss or love of Awakened Nondual States doesn't NEED the enjoyment OF something. Then we would have to consider the nondual essence Nothingness behind all appearance as OF something. Which luckily it isn't, because it is not OF something (but Infinite Being, Nothingness and nondual appearance and not something specific IN/OF it) Selling the basic difference between pleasure and between causeless Sat-Chit-Ananda by the River

Enlightenment in the zen and Ralston sense is just figuring out that you are the awareness or nothingness in which reality unfolds. Psychedelics help you go more into the Godmind and Oneness aspect of reality which is more profound. Enlightenment is akin to figuring out how a car works (its running on wheels) but there’s still so much about the car to understand.

What is the source of everything that exists? That's what you are, the horizon of possibilities, the unfathomable depth that exists, the infinity that is conscious of itself, The source of the infinites universes, the power that arises from the nothingness, the totality that can't avoid being because there are not limits. The absolute freedom. God? That word is confusing. Just existence, what you are

@Ahbapx Try this meditation, be as you are, perhaps sit and close your eyes for less distractions. Ofcourse this can be done while eyes open and even moving about, you will just have more objects of experience to be with. Whatever thoughts feelings sensations arise, let them be there but be more interested in what knows those. Once you get an answer as to what knows all those, keep being interested in what knows that answer, dont take the answer as the Truth. The truth is constant. if you had to paint the knower of your experience, the literal knower, not the known, would you even need to strike a single brush stroke? The sky is already there, even when there are clouds, but we must not focus on the clouds as the truth, because clouds are temporary. Sky is the eternal Truth. This is another analogy. To begin understanding emptiness/nothingness/consciousness, try thinking in your mind about the smallest object, a point. What is a point? It has 0 dimensions, it actually is not an object, we think of it as an object, but if you really had to represent a real point in reality, you don't have to add ink at all. The point is nothingness, you let go of the tiny image of a point, and what remains? Only the entire page! The page didn't have to be drawn! Now that you know the point covers the entire page, anything you draw on the page is smaller than a point! Paradoxical, the smallest thing suddenly is the largest thing.