SwiftQuill

What I find interesting is how the first 2 traits are seemingly "contradictory". Superiority Complex (entitlement?) and Massive Insecurity. I have not done research on this, but I assume they aren't mutually exclusive. We can almost reword this as Superiority Complex = having a big vision for oneself, and the insecurity as "fear of failure", which is associated with the possibility of not achieving that vision, because the fear is associated with our vision and our identity. In my opinion there is 1 trait that is the most important, without necessarily forcing us to feel insecure or neurotic about failure, which is just focus. The mere act of focusing on a goal for long enough is a lot more powerful than people realize. Focus, focus, focus. Reduce distractions in life, focus on what you want. This simple lesson has helped me a lot in my life.

I recently came across a hidden strength within me. I have tapped into it a few times in my life, but it never lasted long, not longer than a few seconds. But I need to provide some context first. For most of my life I suffered from crippling loneliness and depression due to my lack of friendships. Recently I was diagnosed with asperger's, things started making a lot more sense. In the past I would beat myself so hard for being a "social loser" and I would be a people pleaser (being a people pleaser doesn't work at all btw, on one will like you if you act like one). So after so much suffering, a lot of suffering and periods of low self esteem, for the first time I forgave myself. I no longer see myself as a social loser, I see myself as just a human being, neurodivergent. I discovered that I am not AT ALL playing the same game as everyone around me. For me, the fact that I have a stable job and I get along with people relatively well, I should consider it a success. But anyway enough of that. I watched Leo's video "The Root Solution To People Pleasing & Loneliness", I've watched it a couple of times. The first time I watched it, it didn't hit me hard, it made sense in theory but in practice I thought it was difficult, impractical. How wrong I was. I've been doing a lot of mindfulness lately, I've been questioning my suffering and my frustrations with people, and I became aware that they have no power over me. That sentence Leo said "Take back the sovereignty" is so true. We are so foolish in life, we spend so much time deluded, looking for external validations, we look for compliments, we look for people to "love" us. It's all a delusion. All of it. It's not just my opinion, at this point I consider it a fact. I can't say I never feel lonely now. Of course I do, but nowadays I don't suffer nearly as much. I don't throw pity parties, I don't waste much time and energy being frustrated. I look at social situations with more awareness. I wish I could put it into words. I feel quite powerful when I look into my delusions and say "No, I don't need this. I don't need this person to like me. F*ck this person, f*ck validations. I do what I want, this is my life dammit!" If you struggle with loneliness and people pleasing. Don't "try" to overcome it. Don't resist it. I recommend just observe it. Observe your own reactions, observe your inner desires. Eventually you will reach an epiphany and transcend your problem. Here is a warning though, this power is stronger than you imagine. Sometimes, nowadays, I contemplate becoming a hermit. Because I genuinely feel I don't need other people, at all. So once you find this hidden strength, don't go crazy with it, don't let it make you deluded into believing that you HAVE to become a hermit to be happy. I am trying to be happy living in society, I am still working on my social skills, I still plan on meeting new people. But now I feel a lot more in control over my emotions. You look for love in other people, but you already contain a lot of love within yourself. I know it sounds cheesy and BS, but it's true.