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whoops hahahaha!!! not even as a pointer to nothingness, a symbol that represents it? zero is something, but the thing that zero refers to... ?

I need to work on a good chunk of trauma healing for me to move into higher stages. Having a lot of abuse and such growing up has caused me to carry around issues with me up to now. I am not sure to the degree which they do, but I am sure this shapes a good amount of the stuff that I do in my day to day life. I think this should be something that I work on tackling down. Same with just working towards maximizing my efforts to control any OCD or depersonalization. While these don't heavily weigh me down I feel like they are still around and hinder me from becoming much better than I am. There is so many pockets to work through it is hard to decide what to work on the most usually. But these will likely give me an enormous benefit. Going to to try crank out a lot of extra work today if I can. I did not get a large amount of items ready to list, but some good quality ones ready to list. Mostly big stereo stuff I removed from my room that I really don't need. It actually looks great and sounds great without that stuff as I switched the set up. Still getting a lot of Apple products ready to list and sell as well. I was going to treat myself to one of the ipads I got really cheap, but I think I am just going to keep turning things and keeping the money in rotation. I enjoy looking at stocks on them, but I am just going to do that while they are for sale and keep buying more to replace them. My meditation has be great yesterday. I have been doing the full 20 minutes with the 5 minutes concentration three times a day. Maintaining the posture is getting easier and it feels great. I am reaching much deeper states and feeling the shift in reality of nothingness a lot of the time doing it. It is much more of an experience before. These new technique is really helping me progress and is grounding me a lot heavier. I am glad that I started working on this a lot more. I think if I keep up at this pace I might trip again this weekend, but not sure yet. Today I am thankful for Good mood Feel determined to get stuff done Strong meditation

Lol. We are nothing. Who are you killing? You will never die. Nothingness is bulletproof. Lmfao.

Definitely. Specially, even times stops singularity sucks everything. Lol. Thats why i really like big bang theory too. Existence is existed because, explosion is happened within nothingness, or nothingness is exploded. Lol

You propose that the world is made out of atoms, because for something to be "real", it must be possible to reduce it down to smaller components that can explain how it arises, right? Then naturally the next question is: what are atoms made out of? Quarks? Ok. What a quarks made out of? Strings? Quantum fluctuations? Ok. What are quantum fluctuations made out of? What causes these things to arise? Now, you may have noticed how this leads to the problem of infinite regression. What does that show? Well, either reality is infinite in substance, or you must concede that something being "infinite in substance" defeats the purpose of calling it a substance in the first place. Behind the horizon of the next step in the series of steps progressing towards infinite regression, there is an empty void of nothingness waiting to be filled. This way, literally nothing is causing anything to arise. This is just one of many ways to conceptualize the idea that there is nothing "behind the scenes", or "it's appearance without substance", but I think it can be helpful for those haven't yet had a profound awakening experience.

Different sensation and flavors are exist within the body. You (as nothingness or awareness) feel the sensations when you concentrate or meditate. Wherever your awareness is you sense of feel that part of body sensations. Thats why you exist in entire body as nothing.

Dear folks/spirits/souls/Gods Just sharing some random stuff. I stumbled upon this song yesterday. And the lyrics blew me away. They me blew my so much away that I had to write down my thoughts on the meaning of them before I could come back to life. This forum is about spirituality, right? So I thought I would share. Happy Sunday. Oh also btw, @Leo Gura and everyone. Watch "Devs" on HBO. A science-fiction mini-series created by Alex Garland. 1st episiode is great. 2-7 is decent. Last episiode, 8, is a masterpiece. Honestly, the last episode of Devs, is hands down the best hour of film I've ever watched in my life. Alex Garland - the person behind Ex Machina which is also a masterpiece - is a genius. The Stanley Kubrick of our times. The series, especially the ending, is very spiritual in ways I won't go into detail about here. Just f'cking watch it. Anyway, the song right. Here is my interpretation of the song: This song seems very spiritual. “Father Ocean” could be a metaphor for God. It could also be a metaphor for “the Shadow” according to Jung’s theory about the human psyche. Jung thought that one of the most important tasks for a person was to integrate his or her Shadow. Lastly, it could also be a metaphor for Jung’s idea of a “collective unconscious”. "You're the wave I was made from" ----- An ocean is vast. An ocean has many waves. The human global society is vast. It has many people. On the surface we all seem separated from each other. However, in truth, we may all be connected, we may all be ‘one’, just in the same way that all waves in an ocean are all interconnected and all part of the ocean. In fact, the wave IS the ocean. 'The wave is something the whole ocean is doing, just in the same way that ‘you’ is something the whole universe is doing.' (- Loosely quoted from Alan Watts). "Could it be your darkness holds the key?" ----- 'It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you are looking for.' - Joseph Campbell "Now take me back to where we once began Ocean Father I was wrong Years I followed just the sun" ----- He wants to go back to the beginning. To emptiness. Before time. Before form, before life. To the universal consciousness that exists behind all appearances. Behind all masks. (‘persona’ in Latin = ‘mask’). You could call it death. But death implies life. Life implies death. You cannot have “up” without “down” and vice versa. In order to really live life, you have to also know death. 'Life' is dualistic, inherently. But 'being' is non-dualistic, inherently. Much of his life he has chased the “goodness” of life. The next achievement. The next dopamine kick. The next “golden nugget”. Now, he has become tired of this process, this constant hunt. He wants to regain what he once lost. The knowledge of who he really is. "But now I see your darkness holds the key And then I close my eyes and I begin to see When we were alone." ----- He realizes that in order to understand who – or what – he really is, he has to cast himself into the darkness. Turn inward, look inside. “He closes his eyes” = he finally goes inside himself. There he sees ‘real being’. He sees that before himself as a person, there was (and is) just pure universal consciousness. God. Infinity. Nothingness. Love. He realizes he truly is everything. There is only ‘oneness’. And this can feel a lot like being completely alone. But it can also evoke deep feelings of love, this deep realization of the interconnectedness of all things. You see that you are the other person and that the other person is you. <3 <3 <3

Yeah i really got this vibe when tripping with a friend realizing i'm talking to my self while on Lucy.I might post that trip someday. To me it makes sense if you are eternal consciousness forever that you are lonely.Of course i didn't mean this post as something negative but educational.Insanity ain't a bad thing perhaps it is like a defence mechanism,but it does explain how we forgot we are one being and created all of reality with imagination.It does explain how we see a world when it's sheer emptiness beyond our form.A human analogy for me would be people with alter personalities.These personalities exist only in their minds and they are a part of their mind.But when the person looks deep within they are facets of his mind.Having seemingly their own character and problems.Taking this to the infinite mind perspective is a great way to open up one's imagination about the arising of form..Forgetfulness and ignorance seem to be main elements of existence.To me this ignorance is bliss there is nothing beyond it but nothingness itself. So i have fallen in love with it's insanity. Created out of love and beauty for its own good.The magic of it is that you don't feel alone,if you aren't conscious that you are all of it. Maybe that's the purpose of the ego,love yourself through being all the forms you can be always and forever..

SET and SETTINGS: My girlfriend and I at home. Each took a tab. Didn't eat anything four hours prior to it. Unfortunately I'm not sure about the dose of the tabs (Oops! Couldn't get that information but we took all the other precautions). From now on, I'm gonna refer to myself as "Tony" and my girlfriend as "Eva". Tony's BACKGROUND: I heard about spirituality years ago from a friend but had no idea what he's talking about. At 2013, had a moment while reading The Power Of Now. I was lying down on the floor and amazed by understanding that my thoughts are not me... it stuck and I started reading and trying to realize what am I and what this reality is. But you know, while backsliding a lot and having too much confusion about other stuff like career and relationship and all that. At 2015, I accidentally found Leo on a podcast app. Eventually, it got serious, I started taking notes and mindfully making changes in my life and basically became a student. At Jan 2020, who would have thought THIS is going to happen... Eva's BACKGROUND: Not into this work. More of a pragmatic type of girl. She listens to me talk about spirituality sometimes and unintentionally hears what Leo is saying when I'm watching his videos. I've been meditating and doing Kriya for the past three years and 95% of the time, I don't miss a day. But, it's not that hard core also. On average, it's only 20 minutes per day. Every time Leo said something like "You are it" or "You created it all" or "I am you and I created you" or "God is the devil". I turned my head towards Eva and said: "Seriously, he always lose me here. I can resonate with almost everything he's saying except for these parts. It makes no sense to me". My intention was to put my feet in the water so that maybe some day I have a break through using 5-MeO. Eva's intention was to see how it's like and be with me in the journey. Previous psychedelic experiences: Just like a gram of mushrooms to wet my feet again. Nothing special happened, just some minor visuals and a quiet mind. THE TRIP: (We recorded our voice during the trip. I would share the whole thing if it was in English) Visuals stated to happen and eventually became strong. We were talking about our experience and what is happening to us. I felt strong sensations on my back and I could even feel my pants touching my legs... A dialogue: Tony: "I'm looking at my hand but... now the hand is looking at me... it's now A hand and not MY hand..." Eva while petting our cat: "The cat and I are experiencing love together now. But it's as though I'm not part of it... I'm outside and watching this happening" Tony: "Where is Eva then?" Eva: "Who's Eva?" Tony: "Haha now we're talking" -- Later on: Eva: "It feels like it has always been like this. Can you even imagine coming out and talk about it? 'Now' is the reality. Can you even imagine you lived a different way before? Like... There was no before and there is no after..." Tony: "Exactly, but deep down I know, that the other version will appear and that is going to feel as real as this one" Eva: "The difference is, right now, it's all that there is. We are not getting ready to go to a party, to drink, to come home after, and to go to work the next day... It's just now. Now is all it is" Tony: "Yeah and another difference is, there is no thinking. I literally can't think. And we are not DOING anything. We are just... BEING" -- Later on: Tony: "Baby... I am forgetting me... Something is happening..." Eva: "Me too! I keep touching the cat so that I remember myself! I don't know who Eva is anymore, I have left her somewhere..." Tony: "There is no time AND I don't know who I am anymore. This is by far the weirdest shit I've ever experienced." Long pause "I am not even in this body anymore, there is no physical body now..." Long pause "It's like this dot is making these sounds (words) and wait, then who's the one that's listening to the sounds... and it all goes away in an instant" -- After a long silence: Eva: "What happened to that Tony and Eva?" Tony: "Usually I feel a bucket in my head and that bucket is filled with thoughts but now, the head is not there in the first place to have a bucket to contain thoughts! Those were all I've ever had! The body and the thoughts. They are all gone now!" Tony: "There is absolutely no trace of that controller left. No one is controlling anything. There is no attempt of changing anything. There's just... just observing." -- Three (humanly) hours have passed from the trip. -- Eva: "So tell me, what do you want to achieve in life" Tony: "Doesn't matter at all. This dot that is speaking has no desire whatsoever. It has already achieved everything." Eva: "Right, there is no future. But why am I not bored now? You know I'm always bored and waiting for the future to come... Ohh" Eva: "There is no 'pointer' to the future. There is no 'pointer' to you, or me." Tony: "Yeah, isn't the talking actually useless and extra here? We are not able to point to anything. The talking is like... a barrier" *Dog barks in the street* Tony: "You see, that dog barked and now it painted the street again. But before that, there was nothing... nothing... nothing..." *Short pause* "Nothing! that's what you're talking about. THE NOTHINGNESS!" ... "Baby! that's where we came from" Eva: "Yes! there is nothing and then suddenly, there it is again, it's Eva in this place, in this time... It's like I re-tell the whole 'story' from the beginning again. At a moment I'm nothing and the next moment I'm Eva and it goes on and on" Tony: "Yeah! and the next moment it all 'collapses' to nothingness again" -- Long long silence -- Eva: "Where were you?" Tony: "In the nothingness. Not that I was in the nothingness, but, It was the nothingness" Eva: "So what happened to Tony and Eva?" Tony: "They are not here anymore. It has gone deep to the point that Tony and Eva have also collapsed into the nothingness. Not that they are gone but... they are... one..." Eva: "How is it possible that 'only' the two of us are one." Eva continuous with a very cool voice: "This simply means that everybody is one" Tony: "Everybody is one" Eva: "That's right" Tony: "That's... right..." ** It happened. It finally hit me. It hit me like a super fast train hits an innocent bird. All the years of listening to Leo and Alan Watts and that podcast's guests and this teacher and that guru... All those pathetic attempts in the meditation and yoga sessions... They all ended up here. ** Tony: "Everybody is one... everything is one... it's all ONE... IT'S ALL ONE... OH MY GOD" I'm crying in my hands and keep saying IT'S ALL ONE... IT'S ALL ONE... Note: Seriously, don't expect to experience this by listening and reading and talking and all that. You can write a million books about it. You can talk for years about it. They of course help, but they are not going to be a substitute for the actual experience. Also, I have no idea how people can reach this state simply by meditating. -- Oh by the way, this happened at least two days before Leo's "Total Awakening Live In Real Time - Part 1" video. -- So... big whoop! They're back again: Tony: "Should I be worried that you judge me for crying? I kinda don't care" Eva: "What are you talking about. When and how can I judge you? There is no future, there is no you, there is no me" Tony: "It's outrageous! At this point, if I want to talk to you, I have to first make sure (imagine) I'm sitting somewhere, like on this couch. And I have to make sure this couch is grounded on this floor and this is all on the planet earth. Then, I have to make sure that I'm a human and you are a human and 'we are different'. Only then, I can communicate with you" Tony continues: "I need to first CREATE it all and then FORGET that I myself did it, have some backing stories and play the role of this Tony human" Eva: "And I have to be Eva, to play Eva again. But why? why should I do it? I'm good here... I mean not that I'm good but I'm in a place that there is no good or bad... or a place... All the happiness AND sadness don't even exist now. Why should I even bother playing Eva?" Tony: "Because then and only then the 'reality' could exist. You see, at first it is nothing (or everything) then you draw the first line, the first distinction. You put white on one side and black on the other side. What is white? the thing here that is not black. What is black? the thing over there that is not white. What is 'here'? the thing that is not 'over there'. What is 'over there'? the thing that is not 'here'" Tony continues: "You keep creating and creating using this simple mechanism. Does it matter if you don't want to live as Eva anymore? of course not! There is no life and death right now. There is no 'matter' and 'not matter' right now." Eva: "Ok, ok. Let's play humans now. We're having bodies again! parents again! cat again! and friends again! Let's say it's Monday and we have to go to work. Now that we know all this, why do we want to get dressed and go? why do we want to have cat and friends?" Eva answers herself: "Because that's the way we know we are! We use all that to separate ourselves from this!" Tony: "It HAS to be this way..." Tony in crying voice: "IT'S NOT PERSONAL. This is what everybody is doing to keep themselves separate." Eva: "It draws the distinction. It creates you, it creates me. It knows me through you. It knows you through me. It is knowing itself! It's exploring itself. It knows it IS, this way" Tony and Eva's minds are blown. They fully accepted the annihilation. They realized that all these time, during all these years of having a romantic relationship, through highs and lows. It was only the IT playing for itself. -- So we reached out to each other for a hug and this literally happened: It was nothing/everything... Then it was me... Then I was physically hugging myself... I could feel my hairs from the other side on my face, it was as real as it can be... Next thing, the other me turned into Eva... I was crying on her shoulder... IT IS ME. I'M IT. I'M DOING ALL THIS. I'M YOU. YOU'RE ME. I don't know how to describe it. I physically hugged myself. Physically. -- Leo was right. I designed every hair on my body. I created all the horrible humans and all the 'saints'. Of course when I say I, it also is You. You're wondering why you can't appear a million dollars on the table right now? Because you are god. One million dollar and your poop are as important as each other. You are not a foolish ego trying to favour yourself. You are as (not) important as your business competitor. You are everything. EVERYTHING. -- For hours we were questioning it from different angles and reaching the same conclusion again and again. At some point, I was poking fun and be like hey now it's the time for me to cry. But I wasn't crying anymore. I was comfortable being god. Eva: Now that you've understood it all, would you stop pursuing spirituality? would you stop watching videos and meditating? Tony after moments of silence: No. As far as this Tony guy exists, he has to do something to keep separating himself from the unity. I'm going to forget and try to learn it again from other people that I (god) created. COMING BACK: The experience, the annihilation got so overwhelming that I was like "seriously, what's the opposite of meditation, I want to be human again". And Eva said: "I'm just this absolute truth now. I want to be Eva again". Yes, at the end we were desperately trying to be humans again. I was like "thank god my back is hurting again. I have a back (body) again!" Fear kicked in, we were afraid that we can't be humans again. How could we possibly undo this!? How can we come back when there is no past, there is no future and we're all one? Well the answer is, we have to separate ourselves as "humans", forget that we did it, believe that we took a substance that as they say persists for 8 hours, believe we experienced all this when we were "under influence" and then believe that it wears off... poof... Eva and Tony: "So let's hang in here for a couple more hours, then we're going to go to sleep and come back stronger than ever" And it happened exactly as planned. ... I don't see any point in touching LSD again. But hey, what about the 5-MeO-DMT experience you wanted to have? Hmm I seriously don't wanna do any psychedelics for a while now. But after a while and if I could find any (hit me up if you're in Canada lol), then sure why not. Currently, I can imagine 5-MeO as a so much quicker way to be god again without it persisting for 8-10 hours which is definitely nice! Now that two weeks have passed. The memory of the experience is fading and fading. I keep reminding myself of what I saw, of what I became. Every meditation is now more of a reminder rather than an attempt to have the experience again. I guess we need 5-MeO-DMT to take once in a while so that we become pure consciousness again and stop the ego from taking over the whole show. I don't know! You tell me. --- --- P.S. I wrote this report back in Jan/Feb 2020. But then a series of crazy shit happened that I couldn't post it until today. Maybe it's an opportunity to integrate all those insane events with the trip.

I did one month darkness retreat myself with shrooms. I consumed shrooms during the retreat. In my last trip i consumed 10 gr shrooms, and had that stage. I was the god giving my ego to choice either leave the body and be god (which mean is stay in the body as nothingness, that mean is leaving the body), and my ego choice to stay here, i was so scared as ego but i was feeling god side too. And felt like both sides decided for me to stay here to have more fun with High awareness, and I already know that i am god and human at the same time (infinite consciousness, duality and non duality, everything is me). Thats why i chose to come here. That dude is completely left as non dual, which is he is the nothing in the body but he is everything at the same time. He left go everything and body is moving like a robot. Because, in non duality you see that nothing is in the body. Destiny of body is already written and nothing can change it (I was non dual or god at that moment).

Reality does no include nothingness. It includes voids. Voids are still something even if still feel something Close to nothing

Yes actually it is true. Non dual people skips teaching, Thats the reason why so called prophets (Jesus, Muhammed, Buddah and Mosa) are leaders of billion of people. According to zen stage 9 (returning the source) represents people, who reached wisdom of duality and duality, that is oneness. And final stage is 10 ( Entering the Marketplace with Helping Hands) represents people who are like prophets, because they embody oneness, self is completely gone and they are here for help. Therefore, even so called enlightened masters are stuck at stage 9, because they have still some self or even they are selfless , if they see something that can bring them ego back, they will not help you. Or they are stuck in nothingness or non duality. That shows they couldn’t comprehend the oneness, they just did it for them side not for the others. They forgot that if they didn’t have ego, they never can able to find themselves.

Can this nothingness ever be known what really is?

''Where is the Akashik records and astral plane occurring? Your own consciousness, consciousness itself.'' no,in the astral plane,outside of the mind (yes sucha thing exists) q:''a body hits a wall '' .. remove counsciousness from the equation what do you have? r:you still have the fact that the body hits the wall one to think about ... have you guys ever try to deal with high magick while on psychedelics?,like evoking spirits and entities and so on? if you try and the thing gets real deal then what will happen is that you gonna screw ap the whole thing and the entities gona take over the situation and you will end up suicidal or in the mental alysium,precisely because you are dealing with forces from the outside any shaman knows that have you seen leo last video? he talks about the dpt trip,have you seen some similarities with the video 'outrageous experiments in counsciousness'?leo gets redundant its all like.... ...then i see love,then god comes from love,then god god infinite,then embodies the counciousness,then gets infinite,then is pure love,then its like the void wicht is god cos god is infinite,then i have no self,then is pure love..etc.etc.etc... he's traveling the infinite nothingness of itself trying to get somewhere witch is the total awakening.. thats never ever total cos its infinite.. and then leo goes further into infinite ..like chasing its own tail no new conclusions at all now .. a brand new different thing will happen if leo gets involved in esoteric budhism,now it will be the real deal..now its sinthesyzes outside with inside and do alchemy and gets really somewhere

Lol. If someone never tell you your name, or you are exist, how can you know that you have to live in first place? In order to experience non duality, you have to meditate or find easiest way to reach non duality. In experience you become everything as you seeing now. Because you are nothing , you can be anything at the same moment, you are shapeless. Thats why god is created the world from nothing, thats why bing bang theory creation existed from nothingness, in mathematics 1/infinity =0, therefore infinity = +0, -0, check quantum physics of infinite possibilities, check relativity from Einstein, study space and time, Duality and non duality. And after we talk. Because, in order to understand me, you have to understand most important topics in the world. And start to meditate.

If since you born, and cant think, see, or feel. Will the universe will be same for you? Nope. Your universe will be emptiness and nothingness. You wont be able to judge anything.

Consciousness is infinite, which includes anything that you can or can not imagine. Whatever happens or not happens, it happens within it. If consciousness created by something, it is created by Consciousness again. It is eternal, has no beginnings and ends. It can give birth to itself, (which is you, you think you born) or can kill itself(your body dies). Nothingness is turned back to existence. Therefore, it is you. Look at how powerful is that you think you are a human and in the body. Which is just a word. Lol

Darkness; nothingness; prettiness. It doesn't really matter what one calls it, I just don't want to be carried away with it as a concept. I'm trying to surrender myself to actuality.

Thats not darkness. It is nothingness. Whatever you see in the moment nothingness is inside of it. Thats why you are nothing, which can be everything at the same time. Additionally, you can understand nothing with this example. Just imagine that you have no body right now, but you can see everything as same as when you have a body. That mean is you exist as nothing but aware, which is awareness itself and therefore you are everything that you are seeing at the moment ). Because when the body dies you will be still here , not going anywhere else. You are the environment around you. Lol.

If there is no emotions within the body. People will be in oneness, nothingness or non dual. because, you are not in the body, but you feel you are inside now. If there is no feelings left, you will be in absolute nothingness with awareness itself. Do you want give up them life to be god? If people answers as yes. If you want be free your so called personality must be death.

@Brivido “The biggest conspiracy is the humans capacity to create conspiracies...And in so far, we can become deluded by our efforts to avoid delusion” Conspiracy theories provide solace for the mind. The mind cannot comprehend what is beyond it, so it creates grandiose ideas in compensation. They also entertain the mind because the it can not withstand silence or nothingness, it’s just further noise to fill the void it denies to accept.

@Dua I read your post and I am feeling motivated to do Meditation as I think I can help me. Yes you can indeed! I’d look to meditation as not so much a motivation to get somewhere or fix anything, but more a calling to come back home, prior to all of the experiencing, all the phenomena, all the activity & concerns. A completeletting go, without exception. This would be most helpful, paradoxically, because it is a break from the thinking there is something wrong with you which then ‘needs’ to be helped / fixed. What stands to be let go, is what is prior to the rls. Understand this simply as much as you do without assuming anything is being missed, be open to this, but yet at the same time, do not make meditation out to be something that will “fix” this, but rather, a break from it, relief from it, some peace and healing in regard to it, by letting it go. “Let thought go”, indirectly, as just a byproduct of being attentive to hearing, breathing & feeling, like you never have before. Like, you have heard of chocolate bars before, but now you’re going to explore Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. There is great wonder to be experienced in hearing, breathing, and feeling. WAY more than there is in thinking. By letting go of the thinking of the world, the world reveals it’s wonder. Leave all the “life stuff” behind in meditation. Viscerally explore the other-than-thinking, of hearing, breathing & feeling. Let go of the body, and let go of the body within the body, again and again. Let go to the bone. Then let the bones go. Like an Olympic runner is set on running fastest, you set on letting go and relaxing deepest. Complete opposite. No incentive, no effort, no goal. See how deeply you can let go, how deeply you can relax. Olympic “level” of letting go. Let go more than any one ever has, ever. Not to gain anything - just to relax. It can be helpful initially, to make two precise labels / categories: ALL experience of living, the entirety of it, is: “Everythingness”....but meditation does not go in that label / category....meditation is: “Nothingness”. Meditation is not like Everythingness. There are no matters of concern in meditation, no thing to be fixed or solved. It’s a break from Everythingness, and everythingness includes everything. Meditation will not “fix” anything. But wouldn’t it be great to have total clarity on the rls? In meditation, that is, in letting go...Everythingness is let go, and Nothingness is more pronounced, more present if you will. This Nothingness, this Emptiness, is clarity. Literally. So if clarity is desired, letting go is the way. I tried meditation before as I know it really helps but my problem is whenever I sit for meditation Restless Leg syndrom kicks in.. and I can't sit still, can't keep my sitting posture for long.. RLS becomes worst as my body gets into the state of relaxation.. It happened 90% of times.. I’d see a doctor and get a physical with a full blood work up, specifically checking iron. Let the dr know all medications and substances in your system, so they can deduce any interactions that might be going on. Then I would consider that the rls arises when you meditate because there is a response from the nervous system to ’get up and go’...as not to feel what might be coming. It could be that there is a belief something is going to be ‘faced’ in meditation. Something from the past perhaps, a ‘having learned to run’, or ‘avoid’, to cope. Perhaps someone passed unexpectedly, and there are ideas of and fear of death maybe, hard to say. What is inevitably seen via letting go / meditation, is that the pure nature of this experience, is not a past, nor is any thing scary coming, including “death:...there is only but thoughts about things, arising, now. The experience of the relationship between feeling and the past changes over time in accordance with the seeing that there is no past, and that “it”, is but a thought, arising now. This is to “let go” and “realize the now”, or, to directly experience presence, mindfulness, or “this peace” as Mooji says. Feeling + past is very very different than feeling + a thought (About a past). Again, it takes a while to realize this, but meditation is not about realizing anything, it’s just letting go of everything. Realization is not like training for the Olympics...realization occurs when thought is let go (by focusing on hearing, breathing & feeling). Listen to the body, - it is the teacher. Like it is the infinite intelligence that it is. Stop “not liking how it feels” - and starting humbly listening to what it is “saying” to you. Wiggle your fingers, and then try to explain how “you did” it, and you’ll see what I’m pointing to. See what the body is doing with regard to rls, and ask “what is it telling me here? What is it subtly teaching me? What can I learn here?” Such inquiry as this, will pair with what you read in your dream journal. Lighten up, drop any seriousness. This place is a game. Reality showers you with what you want, and do not resist. Reality is unconditional, you hold, or don’t hold, conditions. If you resist / hold conditions, reality showers you in clues regarding well being & letting go. I am not insightful, nor enlightened, nor awake, nor anything but parallel, we’re in the exact same boat. I am only one such clue, coming & going in your adventure. You can pretend to control this adventure, you can project subjectivity onto ’me’ - or you can experience this gift for you that is this miracle of your life, humbly in the front row seat of living it. Always up to you. Don’t assess me...feel....this message resonates, or it doesn’t. Love the body, and allow it to release emotion. Of habit, thought attempts again and again to weave a story out of the arising emotional release. This is thought “trying to control the body”, acting preventatively to the body releasing. It is an act of innocent defense. For example, a thought could arise about the past, and feeling begins flushing the body of misunderstanding / emotion...but then the feeling of that flushing gets labeled as “bad” or “uncomfortable” - in / by, thought - and is suppressed. When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. Thought will kick it up a notch, attempting to convince you “something’s wrong”.... When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. Thought will take it to the extreme. Thought will “empty both barrels”, become grandiose, wild, self important, projection indulgent.... When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. There is nothing to solve, nothing to figure out.... When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. When thought labels feeling - don’t believe the labels! When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. That is how sneaky thought is. Feeling is always accurate and is never, ever, wrong. This is the importance of letting thought go, and what is hopefully conveyed by all or any of the words (above). Please keep in mind, when I say feeling, I am talking about that-there-is-feeling, pure sensation - I am not talking about emotions...when this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. Peacefully allow this emptying out of the mind and body. Let it all go, and lovingly wish it well. Appreciate it all, it did serve you. In gratitude, allow it all safe passage up, and out. Love this way, that way, inward, outward, love all around. Love all that arises - do not label and judge. Don’t consider wether or not any facet of what arises is deserving of love, nor wether or not you have the capacity to love it - that is sneaky thought. Just love. No reason, no justifying it. Just love. Having said all that... if sitting meditation is ‘too much’, if it’s overwhelming...don’t ‘power through’ it. Break from it, and write about how you’re feeling in a journal, on actual paper, with a pen or pencil. If that is too overwhelming, do walking meditation, and then writing about how you feel. While walking, concentrate visually, straight ahead. Notice thoughts arising, and return attention to seeing, straight ahead. Known that this concentrating ‘outward’, will allow the source ‘within’ to ‘rise up within’, and thus clear out anything emotionally speaking, which is a ‘blockage’ in terms of, concentration. Have a good look around while walking. That is what it looks like when the infinite being you truly are, concentrates itself. Hear the birds. They’re singing to you. Their song is otherwise purposeless, though thoughts arise. Let them go, to feel the song. Also, you can practice walking meditation, and by focusing on all other-than thinking (seeing, hearing, breathing, feeling)....there is peace, and it is likely insights will arise. It can be most helpful and efficient to have your phone with you, and to voice-to-text the insights and save them. This way it is captured for later if you want it, but more importantly, in knowing it is captured, you easily readily ‘return’ to the other-than-thinking (seeing, hearing, breathing, feeling) / the peace. The ‘letting go’ / emptying ...’resumes’. Other times I got sleepy when I started meditation. Meditation is best first thing in the morning, right after ‘sleeping’. You might also try yoga, as it’s more physical and you’re less likely to get tired or sleepy. I’d google “the many types of yoga”, or something like that, and you’ll naturally attract some practices to experience directly. Also, consider keeping a dream journal next to your bed, and writing in it every morning wether there is a dream to log or not. If there was no dream, just write “no dream last night”. This builds the awareness of dreams, and dreams give you messages. The message is usually not clear upon awakening, but later, after the emotion has subsided, what you wrote in the journal can be suddenly very clear and insightful. Don’t assume linear time in this manor either. Something might occur in the ongoing of your day, and the dream suddenly ‘clicks’ as a major insight. Connecting with dreams btw, is connecting through intuition. Lots of awesome experience arises from this. Screen diet for sugar, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, additives & preservatives, etc, and eating a low calorie nutrient dense diet, and not eating after 7 or 8 pm. I’d google ‘cleaning out the pineal gland’ too. The more choices the mind makes in the name of well being of the body, the better. Choosing well being is awakening. Also, are you sleeping at night, with the circadian cycle? (Vs working nights and sleeping during the day, or staying up late & sleeping in). For what it’s worth, if you aren’t...you would likely get a better night’s sleep if you slept naked, in 69 degrees or less (with a blanket), and avoid using screens at night in bed. Read a book, or write, instead. Exercise, specifically aerobic or cardio, and weight resistance / weight lifting, would likely help a lot. Doesn’t need to be anything major, just enough to change the percentage of fat & muscle a little. This can ‘awaken’ the tiny subtle ‘muscles’ prior to ‘the muscles’. At the very least, deep stretching and breathing into the stretches a few times a day. You might already be doing all or some of this, idk. I am totally hopeless now.. Beliefs like that are let go in meditation. You’re fine. Everything is fine. Don’t suppress desire, express desire. Meditation is the way. It’s wholly counter logical (logic = Everythingness), and presently counterintuitive in your experience (ya could use more Nothingness, which brings intuition and awesomeness to your life & experience). It will become crystal clear that meditation is always the ’answer’, because you define there is a problem, and then you claim you are ‘stuck’. In meditation, all is let go, and clarity arises where a ‘problem’ was believed to be. There are likely substances and or choices of diet at play, which were adopted to cope with the feeling, which was labeled In misunderstanding, and which there wasn’t anything ‘wrong’ with in the first place. Totally not your fault though. We believe what we are taught to believe. BUT then we meditate, and let all that nonsense go. You’re not really stuck. This is classic writer’s block and it is a tricky facade. You’re creating the ‘stuckness’, but aren’t yet aware of how / what you’re doing to create it. In the misunderstanding, a thought, “like a loser” arises. This is a thought which labels feeling, and identifies with that labeling. This is believing a thought and weaving an identity out of thought, so ‘you’ can be right about the feeling being wrong. But feeling is infinitely ‘right’ , pure goodness... and the thoughts & beliefs are not in alignment with feeling. Hopefully you’re connecting the dots here, and realizing meditation is the way. Letting go, is the way. Thought is just, thought. You are not a writer, there is an experience of writing. Writing can never be good or bad, there is an experience of judging, critiquing. You’re ‘pushing feeling out of the writing’...by labeling feeling & identifying with the label, yet feeling is what most behooves writing. Feeling is not a separate ‘thing’ from the experience of, writing. Again, before any writing occurs....wiggle those fingers first, explain precisely how ‘the writer’ is doing that, and you’ll find you can not, because there is no writer. Go ‘the other way’. Don’t “just do it”. Relax, hear, breathe, feel. Feel within the body, like the whole body is a sensory antenna, ‘picking up’ all the feeling, all the writing. The best thing you could do, imo, is drop the whole writing thing. Completely drop it. If you feel inspired to write, then do so. Otherwise, just let it go. Put the outcome of it ahead of your enjoyment of it - and it’s lost. Let it go for a while. This entire experience, this entire universe, is precisely as it appears - completely relative - to you. It’s literally a gift for you. The experience of writing, is not something ‘you have to do’ - it’s experience you get to enjoy. Thinking like “there is a problem with me” IS the “problem”. As such - there really isn’t a problem. You’re believing the thoughts “that there is a problem”. Nothing is wrong with you. “Wrong” is only a judgement, a thought. Judgmental thoughts do not feel good. Let. Them. Go. You wouldn’t hold a burning hot coal in your hand, would you? No. You’d let it go, because it doesn’t feel good. In kind, on the path, we let go of pride, arrogance, being right, being separate, resentments, entitlement, expectations, etc. We forgive. We apologize. We love. We self love. We understand. We feel passion, creativity, empowerment, enthusiasm. If a thought doesn’t feel good to you - you can let it go. (Shift awareness to seeing, hearing, breathing, & feeling). Also, for writing, consider dropping all devices, sitting in nature, and using a pad of paper and pencil. Don’t write for your blog though - write about what you are seeing now, write about what you are hearing now, write about what you are feeling now. ”I feel” is a sneaky thought. You can’t feel. You can’t even feel a feeling. Feeling IS. Like perception, there is no story to it. “Story”, occurs in thought. Not feeling. Not perception. The thoughts “I am weak physically” & “I am weak physically” do not feel good because they aren’t true. You’re telling that story. Don’t be surprised that is what you’re experiencing. Tell the story you actually want to experience, and miraculously, you do. “I need” is a sneaky thought. It’s in plain view though - if you listen to feeling. Anything that follows “I need” will not feel good. Let the thought go. (Focus on seeing, hearing, breathing, & feeling). Notice a thought arose, and it was in discord with feeling. Then, to “cover it up”....you start believing you must ‘need’ something. Emotional suppression doesn’t settle. Let it out. Temperature’s just right. Appreciate it. Consider the odds of there being temperature which “just happens” to be perfect to allow for this entire experience. There are no coincidences. It’s not random. Let thoughts of that nature go, and synchronicity & serendipity are revealed. This place is pure magic, and you can do anything you dream up - and you’re current sentiment is “hot weather bothers me”. Let go. Let go. Let go. I say this with love, and good intention, and I hope it is heard that way...you are holding many conditions for you to be happy. Happiness is revealed in letting those conditions go. Go experience that which you ‘fear’, and you will see the facade of fear. “Fear” is a label upon the experience of believing a thought about a potential future, which is in discord with feeling. Feeling will never be in “a future”. Feeling is present now. Feeling can be ‘listened to’, now. The mind wanders, false thoughts arise, feeling says “no sir, that’s not actual”....and you label feeling. This is very much like putting an address into the navigation app in your phone to get to where you want to go....and then when the voice says “in half a mile, turn left”....and you’re like “no!”. Relaxed, emptied, clarity arises. There will be no more thought being believed about yourself being “a loser”, ”I can’t”, etc. I’d read The Six Pillars Of Self Esteem, and Ask & It Is Given. I’d also start a dreamboard.

Hey, I'm basically wondering: to those of you who have been doing self actualization for 10 + years, have had multiple deep awakenings, seen yourself as God, and have integrated Love, Absolute Infinite Fractalness, Infinite Nothingness, all the good stuff - How confused are you on a month to month basis? How often do you find yourself in a sort of existential void, where you lose touch with your Life Purpose, struggle with inaction, wonder if you're focusing on the right stuff and you're unable to stay connected to the Beauty of it all? Is there a point where everything comes together and stays together, apart from ego backlash when you encounter new depth? I love what I've found so far, and I know there's always more, but sometimes the repetativeness is just so damn boring. I'm in the process of actualizing my Life Purpose, I know it's gonna be amazing, but every time I get into this really good groove working on LP, Self Trancendence, or both, I know that I can expect to lose touch with it later. I have a few Golden habits, but they are a double-edged sword. I love Life, but only sometimes.

The key is to realize that nothingness is self-aware. Everything is self-aware because it is consciousness/Truth. It's not that there is no you. It's more a question if what the true you is. Right you think you are a biological organism, the body/mind. This is the false you. The true you includes all that but is fundamentall reality itself. You are reality. The body/mind appears within reality. You have mistakenly created a limited identity by attaching to the body/mind exclusively while forgetting that you are reality itself. Reality is consciousness dreaming up humans, trees, rocks, cars, stars, animals, universes, etc. Like in a dream, the body isn't you because the entire dream is you. You are an Infinite Mind dreaming up a body and a world. This Infinite Mind has no substance or physical ground. It is an empty field that can dream up physical objects.

@Inliytened1 Damn, nonduality. Infinite and nothingness become one. No good and evil. No real and imaginary. That must be.. something. (And nothing lol)