Wildlife HostpitalsBecause people are selfish and helping animals is outside their circle of concern.
It does not serve a human's survival to help animals. So they mostly don't.
It's hard to care about animals when your belly is empty.
We change this by raising collective consciousness.
People only start caring about animals as beings at stage Green and above. Lower stages treat animals as walking resources.
Leo on the truth of relationships
Meaningful relationship?In other words, her and every other girl on the planet. LOL
She's insecure that you'll leave her so she wants pretty stories about why she's special and why you'll never leave her.
Of course don't tell her any of this, or she'll get upset. She doesn't want truth, she wants a fantasy. That's mostly what relationships are: mutually constructed fantasies of two people trying desperately to use one another to meet each others needs while desperately denying that this is what they're doing.
Women don't like being complimented on their looks because they know that looks fade and there's always someone better looking around. They want to be complimented on unique personality traits.
You gotta get more creative with your compliments.
"I really like your pussy" is not a good compliment to a girl. Find unique things about her to compliment. Maybe even some of her flaws.
Politics and distractions
Drugs Legalization in Poor CountriesDefinitely, definitely. Low consciousness politicians always use the most base survival threats to win elections.
Case in point: Trump
That's how devirly works. Fear, division, and distraction is the name of the game.
Finding an Actualized partner
How to Find Actualized PartnersGenuine self-actualized are quite rare. You better be ready for a lonely walk before expecting to find a partner. Make good use of your time while you're alone and master the fundamentals.
STOP PLAYING VICTIM!
To All Struggling Males: Stop Playing Victim!I see a chronic problem on this sub-forum, which is young males who complain about lack of success with women and failing to take responsibility for their situation.
The #1 rule of all growth and personal development is taking 100% responsibility for your situation. I know how hard that can be when you're struggling with women/sex. It feels very much like life is treating you unfairly and that it's the women's fault. Let me tell you right now: this is a total ILLUSION! It's not the women. It's not society. It's not post-modernists. It's not the Marxists. It's not the feminists. It's YOU!
This is not me blaming you. This is simply how all personal development works. Whatever problem you have in life you must begin by getting honest with yourself how you created it. Sometimes this is difficult to accept. It's much easier to blame someone else, or even blame yourself (for being too ugly or too short or too introverted). I am not suggesting you blame yourself. Rather, take ownership of the fact that you are the creator of your life. Whatever is missing in your life, you can correct, but only if you stop blaming yourself and others.
Be very mindful of how your ego-mind creates narratives which justify your sense of lack, brokenness, or inability to attract women. All of these narratives, justification, rationalizations, logic, "facts", scientific studies, proofs, etc are sneakily fabricated by your own mind! Your own mind is the enemy! Watch it like a hawk. Your mind will try to come up with reasons and excuses for why your life is unfair and how success with women is impossible. This is all horseshit! Do not believe your own mind here. Your mind is clouded by fear, insecurity, and neediness. That is totally normal and understandable, but you cannot resolve your problems from such a place. From such a place your problems will get worse as you start to blame the world and solidify your victim worldview with cherry-picked evidence, "science", and "logic". Be extra suspicious of "logic" and "science" here. There is nothing logical or scientific about your victim attitude or lack of success with women. It's purely about meeting the survival needs of your ego. Sex is a very powerful survival need which will drive your mind towards all manner of mental gymnastics to ensure that you get it, or at least feel better for not getting it.
There's good news and bad news. The good news is: Your looks are NOT the problem! The bad news is: your personality, attitude, and mindset are terrible! The good news is, it's possible to change that. The bad news is, it won't be easy and you will resist it like the devil that you are.
So what's the solution? Take ownership of your problem and commit to resolving it. For this you need faith and confidence in your ability to self-actualize. You must have enough hope and vision to see yourself get much better with attracting women. This is NOT a pipe dream or fuzzy thinking. The reality is that any man can become 100x better at attracting women if he really takes ownership of the matter. Yes, it takes serious work. But it's also highly worth it. Imagine that within 3 years you're able to attract pretty women and feel confident about yourself when it comes to dating. Isn't that worth the effort? It sure is. This is not a fantasy. I've done it, many men have done it, and so can you! Your looks are NOT the bottleneck, your mindset is.
So what do you do after you've established this vision? You must do lots of research to educate yourself about how dating actually work (not how you think it works). Find videos, find books, buy online courses, hire a coach, take a bootcamp, take a workshop, etc. There are literally hundreds of excellent resources available online these days. Most of them are legit, not scams. Study them hard and then get into the field. Start talking to women. Start approaching women. Start flirting with women. Start being much more social.
If you struggle attracting women I can tell you right now what your top problems are. It's not lack of money, looks, muscles, car, height, or dick size. Remember, attraction and dating is EXTREMELY counter-intuitive. It's works exactly the opposite of how you initially think.
Your top problems are:
You live in your mancave and never go out! You must go out into social spaces where real women hang out. You spend WAY too much time online, indoors You spend WAY too much time on Youtube, Netflix, and playing video games You work too much You are never around cute single women You never start conversations with strangers You have terrible body language due to lack of experience You are not comfortable doing small-talk and being emotional and random in conversations You are far too logical You approach zero women on a regular basis You are terrified of approaching a women who you find attractive, talking yourself out of every approach You have terrible eye contact, you don't smile, and you don't project your voice properly You are crippled by fear and tongue-tied You are unable to start and sustain an interesting conversation with a human being You are disconnected from your body, your heart, your feelings, your emotions You have terrible self-image issues. You hate yourself, you hate how you look, you judge yourself way too harshly. You judge yourself just as harshly as you judge women. You have a bad sense of dress style and you don't groom yourself well You have no experience with physically touching women in a non-creepy way. You don't know how to rapidly physically escalate on a women without creeping her out. You don't know how women think or what they truly value in a man You don't know how to flirt and be authentic You are trying to be masculine in all the wrong ways -- fake masculinity You are needy, needy, needy You are terribly inexperienced You have no sense of passion or purpose in life, which robs you of confidence and masculine vitality Your attitude sucks: you whine, complain, bitch, moan, blame, and are so negative You think you understand life, reality, and how attraction works -- you don't! So work on fixing all of that before you go blaming women. All of the above can be deliberately worked on and fixed.
You need to learn how to be a real man. Being a real man has nothing to do with big muscles, big dick, or a fast car. A real man is grounded on the INSIDE. It's ALL about inner game! You need to cultivate that confidence. It doesn't come naturally. You must build it!
80% of getting good with women is just actually being much more social. You need to deliberately re-structure your life so that you're automatically being more social. So that you're going out every weekend. So that you're bumping into new people constantly. So that you're making new friends all the time. This kind of re-structuring is very doable. You just have to be willing to change your lifestyle.
And stop watching or listening to any of the following:
Jordan Peterson, MGTOW, RedPill, Incel material/forums/reddit All of that is cancer of the mind. It's reinforcing your victim mindset and robbing you of your ability to change yourself.
I've been where you are. I know it's tough. But hang in there, hold your vision, have hope, get to work, and things will dramatically improve for you. You will become a new person by the end of this journey and you will be so proud of yourself. You will become a real man, not some whiny JP fanboy.
The #1 thing a real man does is take 100% responsibility for all his problems. A real man NEVER blames anyone, and certainly not women or feminism. A real man is a feminist. A real man fearlessly works on himself.
So start right there! Start by fixing that.
Working towards LP
How to survive whilst working towards life purpose?@Space That is the million dollar question.
There is no easy answer. Becoming financially comfortable whilst starting from scratch is very challenging, requiring creative thinking, strategy, focus, discipline, hard work, vision, and a bit of luck.
In practice you will have to claw your way to the top using whatever means available.
One very helpful piece of advice is to keep your living expenses as low as humanly possible. At least for the first 5 years of your LP, until you get established.
Another possibility is to move to a very cheap part of the country, or even a 3rd world country as you develop your skills. Again, this is to keep your expenses as low as possible and buy yourself time to build skills.
Another possibility is first build some more marketable skills which can help you pay the rent. For example it's possible to learn some programming skills, which tend to be well-paid.
Another possibility is to work a relatively high-wage job for a year or two in order to save up a nest egg. There are some jobs which require zero experience and zero education but still pay well.
Another possibility is to get a lower job but within your chosen field/industry. For example if you want to direct movies, rather than trying to get hired as a director (which is virtually impossible), try to get hired as an assistant to the director. Then you can prove yourself to the director and he might be willing to hire you in the future as a producer. Etc. Finally then you will become a director.
Another possibility is to get a part-time job which allows you time to work on building your skills at home.
You have to be very creative, opportunistic, and flexible when starting out.
I spent 4 years building an entirely unrelated business to earn enough money to finally follow my LP. It was a huge detour and not at all easy or pleasant. But it was worth it.
Women in spiral dynamics
Spiral dynamics stages in women, stage orange and relationships, etc.Some good insights there. I definitely could have said a lot more about women and relationships with respect to Spiral Dynamics. That could be an entire episode all on its own.
Cliche examples of the Orange woman is a slutty club girl or a gold-digger wife who marries more for security than for love. Then she cheats behind his back with the fun, adventurous, romantic, artistic Green guy who actually makes her wet.
Melania Trump seems pretty Orange to me. As is Trump's daughter, Ivanka.
The female character in House Of Cards -- Claire Underwood -- is a great example of a manipulative Orange woman.
Orange women like to wear business-suits and compete with the boys in the corporate boardroom. Orange women can feel like they have to compete with men in a masculine way, over-arresting themselves.
Orange women are different from Blue women in that they often have their own big careers, like men.
Spiral Dynamics countries
Countries by Spiral Dynamics Level of Development?Do we have any maps or way of categorizing countries based upon their overall level of values development based on the model of Spiral Dynamics? I was just thinking about having clarification on this. For a few examples Places such as The United States, Canada, The United Kingdom, Germany, Japan, South Korea, etc all seem to be at a primarily stage orange level of development. However places such as India, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Egypt, etc appear to be at a blue stage of Spiral Dynamics values development. I was wondering what stages the various countries of the world are at. Perhaps we could create a thread of where we think certain countries and regions would fall on the spiral. Red countries, blue countries, orange countries , green countries, etc.
Experiences part 2
Letting go & surrendering feels like giving up and doing nothing about life@SunnyNewDay I've never been one to deny my humanness of the human experience.
I'd go out and date. Experience women. We could frame it as getting "direct experience" with women . It is part of being human.
Exercise, travel, explore your world, pursue a career and life purpose, run a marathon, create artwork, do volunteer work, laugh, cry, pursue goals - follow your heart and true desires. Exploring and experiencing life is direct experience and transformative. And it can be coupled to meditation. I've never been a "just meditate, deny human desires and tune out the world" kinda guy. I've done many many things that were probably "spiritually incorrect" by formal standards and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I've been a naughty seeker at times. . .
For me, problems don't arise when I am expressing my genuine desires. Things seem to flow pretty well. My problems arise, when I get too immersed in a selfish "me, me, me" dynamic and I am trying to satisfy my self needs - which can cause harm to both my self and others. Yet, when I am expressing love and genuine desires, life seems to flow pretty well. Sure there are bumps in the road, yet who wants smooth sailing all the time? Occasional rough waters can spice things up. . . I think things like meditation and yoga can be super helpful and lead to insights - yet I've never done well with draconian rules about how to do "spirituality". I've gotten in a few run-ins with monks about "proper" practice and I never wanted to be told about how to walk my path and what spiritual is. I've also got into many run-ins with my fellow scientists and I don't like being told what science is. Screw that. I want to find these things out through my own direct experience. My rebellious nature probably delayed my progress at times, yet it's also helped me to never get too immersed into ideology. It may have also delayed some awakenings, yet oh well. Perhaps it's a trade off. Getting too immersed into one thing is a trap for me - science, philosophy, sex, exercise, drugs, travel, spirituality - you name it.
And one of the biggest lessons I've learned. . . this can all be so serious, and at times I take it seriously - yet I can't take myself too seriously. Sometimes the best thing I can do is laugh at the absurdity of it all and be silly. . .
Elliot Hulse is a cult leader right?Sounds like its a problem of hyper-masculinity. Attachment to the macho identity.
Although I haven't watched his videos for about 4 years. Sounds like he's drunk the MGTOW Kool-Aid. Which is a shame. It means he's developing a stage Green shadow a la Jordan Peterson.
How does climbing up maslow’s help one awaken?@zunnyman Its difficult to meditate when you're always thinking about food, sex and power.
That's a very oversimplified statement - But it's packed with wisdom. The ego has all these situations to complete. There is nothing wrong with it, it's just the way it is. Do your best to become financially stable at least, and know how to have positive relationships. You will still need these skills after enlightenment, but after enlightenment they are not self but just tools. The difference between the enlightened master and the not so enlightened master is that the mind is either a utility or an identity. There is always mind, an enlightened master uses it as it is intended rather than loses himself in it.
Alcohol free? Why?Hey, how to reply to people who notice that you are not drinking alcohol, while they have already 3 beers down on their throats?
When people ask me why I don't drink alcohol, I can see how they scan me to see if I am sick. I can reply by saying "why should I?" or " it's not good for your health" but this will make the situation awkward. One time a guy from a meetup group, at the notice that I am having some juice cocktail is asking me "...then why are you here (in the pub)... ". And I replied, " for socialising". This made him look at me like I am someone suspicious.
Other times a group of girls and guys were chatting about going out and get drunk. Some guys were saying that they don't drink alcohol due to religious reasons. Then the girls asked me if I drink alcohol, and when I replied "no", they just turned around and not even bother to talk to me anymore.
So how should I approach those situations?
Don't forget to have fun!
Having More Fun in LifeI've been into self-actualization for a few years now, and thought I might share some perspective that often seems to be pushed to the wayside. Specifically, I want to start a dialogue on the importance of having fun while actively seeking self-actualization.
I used to think that having fun meant that I wasn't doing things right. In my mind, if I was having fun then I was "getting soft" and I "wasn't pushing myself hard enough." I felt that having fun and enjoying life were almost irresponsible. Flash forward a few years, and I'm absolutely miserable. I went through perhaps the worst depression of my life in 2018, and ended up losing a job along with a relatively serious long term relationship.
At my worst around the New Year, I took some psychedelic mushrooms and I had a little bit of a breakthrough. I realized that I'm the one that controls my happiness. I can choose to be a grouch, or I can choose to make the most of every moment and have as much fun as I can every day!
Since then, I've made a conscious effort to have as much fun as possible. I try to intentionally schedule activities that I know I enjoy, and I do my best to surround myself with fun people that lift me up. More importantly, I bring an attitude of playfulness to all that I do. I still workout, I still meditate, and I still get my work done. But I do my best to have fun while I'm doing it.
The reason I'm bringing this up is because I think this is a common trap for people to fall into. It's easy to become too focused on things like eating perfectly healthy, exercising every day, taking cold showers, and meditating for hours while forgetting to just enjoy the simple things in life. But all the self-improvement in the world isn't worth it if you're a miserable stressed out grouch.
So this is really just a friendly reminder to enjoy the journey. It's not about how many minutes you meditated today, or the number of carbs you eat. It's about actually improving your life and feeling good. How do you make life enjoyable for yourself? What tips and tricks do you use to have more fun?
Social anxiety@KyleR I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Definitely had it less as a small kid. Was probably worst around middle school. Since then, it has gradually gotten somewhat better as I recognized on a logical level I don't have to conform to other's needs and built a conscious world on top of that, but that doesn't really overwrite the anxiety as it is very deep-rooted. Despite making progress on my other issues and being in a non-dual state, anxiety is one of those things that are yet to go, because I haven't really faced and uncovered the root causes behind it.
If you want to get rid of it for good, you have to become conscious of why it exists. Therapy can help with that I'd imagine, as does meditation and gradually feeling your fears and the ideas behind them.
As for things practical things that can lessen it, I've heard an effective strategy is exposing yourself to more social situations in baby-steps. Just take a very small thing that makes you uneasy but that you could pull off. Saying hi to someone, asking how they're doing, asking about some school/university related thing if you're in school or university, etc. Do that in several instances until the anxiety around it calms down to some degree. Then take a next, bigger step. And so on. Gradually exposing yourself to more and more can add up a lot over time.
If your anxiety is very debilitating and you find yourself unable to take any sort of action against it, medication could be a good temporary boost. I used to take an SNRI antidepressant with the active ingredient venlafaxinum for depression-related reasons for a bit, and it definitely boosted my confidence. Any antidepressant that affects noradrenaline in addition to serotonin should. Keeping a growth-oriented mindset, you'd want to use the boosted confidence to do some actual work, so you can eventually handle things without the drug.
Maybe some of this helps. Gl.
Leo on daytime pickup
I struggle with day game@Marinus That's great action-taking. 31 daytime approaches is a lot.
There are many stages to a successful pickup that must be mastered: the open, body language, the smile, eye contact, keeping conversations going, flirtation, kino/touching, authenticity, sexual tension, hitting a hook point, screening for boyfriend, getting the close, leading and pulling for instant date, number closing, etc.
It's quite hard to learn all those on your own. It helps to go with a wing-man who already has experience with this and can help you evaluate your interactions. Try to find some wings in your city.
A successful daytime approach requires a lot more than just opening the girl and saying Hi. You must learn to make the conversation fun, flirty, and interesting. And you must learn how to close in order to get any results. All daytime approaches must end with you asking the girl for an insta-date coffee.
Yes, you will be very awkward and mechanical at first. But you can quickly improve. Your goal should be to approach a girl in the same way you might approach and talk to your own girlfriend. It has to be very natural, like it's no big deal, like you've known her your own life. You must just assume this vibe and sense of friendship and familiarity right off the bat. It has to be super casual so the girl is not put on guard.
A great way to practice conversation skills and body language is by chatting with store clerks at the mall. Go find some girl clerks. They are bored most the day and will be happy to talk with you. Try to flirt with them a bit without outright hitting on them. Try to get them to open up about themselves. Try to charm them a bit. Tease them. Wink and smile at them. Tell them some stories about yourself, etc.
At this point your goal is not even to have sex but simply to become a more social, extroverted, talkative, charismatic person. You can even practice on guys and old ladies. Get good at small-talk and self-expression to strangers. Get good at building rapid social comfort, so people are comfortable around you. So they feel you as a fun friendly guy.
I love day game. The biggest problem with it is that it's not easy to find a lot of hot girls during the day unless you live near certain great locations. Cities like LA, London, and NYC are amazing for daygame, but most cities aren't.
The advantage of night is that you get a lot more girls to talk to. And there's possibilities for same night pulls.
Oh, it's also VERY IMPORTANT that when you approach a girl during the day you stop her and face up to her squarely, face to face. Do not be approaching girls from the back or the side. If she is walking, you must stop her cold by getting her attention. You must face her directly. You must have her full attention before you deliver your opener. Do not be whispering your opener to her side or back as she is walking. Run around her and stop her without scaring her. And you must always open with a smile. If there is a look of fear on your face, she will freak out. Practice that smile like your life depends on it.
Leo on pickup again
How to date a girl when your life is boring?Dude, WTF is this sad victim thinking??
I never drank once in my entire pickup career. Which means starting at zero experience.
Stop spreading your limiting beliefs onto others.
I swear, you guys on here have such terribly limited attitudes about women.
It's like you've learned nothing about the core of what I teach: you cannot trust anything your mind says!
What's embarassing is how easily you believe your own bullshit stories.
Getting too ahead of myself
I let myself pursue sex again after Leo's recent postsSo I feel like I progress on my path, but I'm a baby Leo; After he's recently posted many posts on Dating about one night stands and picking up women, clubing and so on, he enabled me to pursue sex again. It's liberating, but at the same time I see that I'm super dependent on his ideology. Should I break free? What do you think?
Night out rapport Leo
Night out reportThe upside of rolling solo is that you grow very fast, as long as you're able to do approaches. If you're going out solo and you're so scared that you don't even approach, then you're not ready for that yet. You need a wingman/friend.
@Brenzo2 You mean you're in a relationship but you want to build your pickup skills at the same time? That's hard. In practice, once you get in a comfortable relationship your pickup skills will suffer. There's a trade-off.
@Joel3102 Yes, it certainly is, but it's going to take much more work than you imagine at the outset. But the upside is that it will also be much more rewarding (in terms of growth) than you imagine. To really get good at pickup you need to hit it hardcore for a couple of years, approaching 5000+ people. You need to take it very seriously. A half-assed attitude will not work here. You basically need to rewire and retrain much of your mind. Attraction is extremely counter-intuitive. It will shock you. You'll be in for some rude awakening. It will be emotionally difficult. But it will grow you like crazy. If you do it, don't do it for the sex, do it for the stronger man it makes you. It can also be very fun and exciting compared to sitting at home and playing Fortnite. Doing pickup hardcore makes you feel ALIVE! It makes you feel like a hero on his journey towards manhood.
I highly recommend handling this part of your life. Just don't be a douche, don't hurt women, and don't develop an ideology or identity around it.
If you want to get serious about learning this skill set, you must bite the bullet and move to a large city with great nightlife and lots of hot girls. LA, NYC, Chicago, Miami, Austin, Vegas, London, etc. It's very worth it. Don't be trying to learn pickup in some redneck part of the world. You need volume to practice on. If you're not willing to relocate, you're not very serious about it.
But at the same time, don't make excuses if you can't relocate immediately. Begin wherever you're at and make plan to upgrade your situation.
Pickup is not just about attracting girls. Pickup is about upgrading your entire lifestyle. It's about better nutrition, better fitness, better apartment, better decor, better cloths, better haircut, better friends, better car, better everything. Transform yourself into an attractive fucking man with an awesome life such that a woman would be itching to be around you. Shed your old childish ways. Become awesome. When you become a truly awesome, valuable man, guys and girls will flock to be around you. This is not some gimmick. You are actually becoming awesome. It's a total makeover.
But also don't get lost in it. Return to spirituality once you've completed that phase of your life.
P.S. There are always limits to everything a human does. Don't let that stop you from being awesome. You don't need to sleep with 100 girls. You don't need to become the Michael Jordan of pickup. You just need to become decent and score a few girlfriends. Which basically any guy can do.
Leo on survival needs
UpdateYes, of course. Learn to crawl before you go trying to fly.
Don't worry about it. Handle your basic survival needs. Later you will shift your balanced back to spirituality.
You can only do whatever your ego will allow you to do. If your basic needs are severely under-served your ego will not allow you to seriously pursue spirituality. Your heart must in whatever you're doing. If your heart is telling to go fuck, then go fuck. Get it out of your system.
Leo on control
How to rid myself of controlling/owning my spouse?@Liger How can you control her when you are not even in control of yourself?
Pay very close attention to just what control is and how little of it you have. This doesn't just apply to people but all of life.
This question of control is a very deep existential one. Notice how the ego keeps trying to control life but keeps failing and getting upset at itself for not having the control it wants.
What is in control of you? Are you in control of yourself? Then why do you keep failing to control yourself? What is control? Why do you want control?
Patiently contemplate all that.
Leo club talk
Do I enjoy rejecting girls?@Psychonaut You are being a pussy and you are full of shit. Go approach those girls! They're not gonna do the work for you, and approaching is always uncomfortable.
The women in clubs are ordinary women. They aren't trash. That's your own mind making up bullshit excuses for why not to approach.
Be very mindful of your self-talk in a club. Do NOT trust it! All of that is pure fear-based excuses.
You will be amazed at the types of sweet and cool girls you'll meet in clubs. Clubs are not for whores or drunks. Ordinary girls go there. Girls are social creatures so they just get dragged along by their friends. If you approach enough girls you will be some great ones in bars and clubs. Girls in bars and clubs are not necessarily regulars. They might be there once a year for a birthday party or bachelorette party or for a work event.
Before holding all these prejudices, go approach 1000 girls in clubs with an open mind. Then approach another 1000 girls in bars. Then approach another 200 girls at the mall. Then compare where the best girls come from based on your direct experience.
P.S. If you go to clubs to enjoy dancing, what do you think the girls are doing? They enjoy dancing more than you! And yet you judge them for it. According to your twisted logic when you go to a club to enjoy dancing, you are not trash, you are better than everyone, but the girl is a trashy whore.
If you're looking for a dog, go to the pet store.
Frankly, with your rotten attitude you don't even deserve a trashy girl. Stop acting like you're too cool for school.
Leo on attracting girls
Can you Get Girls That Are More Physically Attractive Than You?I've attracted girls (8s, 9s, and even 10s) who were way more physically attractive than me.
Because girls aren't primarily attracted by a guy's looks, but by his persona, charm, charisma, confidence, wit, leadership qualities, intellect, social status, and strength.
If you go out a lot and approach a lot you will attract 8s and 9s fairly regularly. Which is not to say you'll be able to close all of them, because closing requires having perfect logistics, which usually isn't possible. So you will lose a lot of 8s and 9s, but at least you'll get the validation of having attracted them. You will be able to tell, for example, that if the logistics had been good, she would have eagerly slept with you. And from that point, it's only a matter of time until the logistics line up and you'll sleep with your first 8 or 9.
10s are just so rare it's not even worth thinking about.
All that's required is that you go out a lot, approach a lot, and have good game. If you can set up good logistics (by living very close to bars/clubs) that will up your chances of pulling girls by a factor of 2x-10x. Logistics are super important if you want to get laid a lot.
Basically any girl that's an 8 or above is a model-quality girl, as she can make easy money off her looks, and often does or did so in the past. She can be a model, actress, stripper, pornstar, webcam girl, go-go dancer, hostess, etc. But don't forget, a lot of these girls can be annoying to deal with as they tend to spoiled rotten by men. These girls know how to use their looks to manipulate men. They know they are hot and they know the value of that in our society. Handling girls like that requires a serious boss/pimp attitude. A weak man cannot handle a girl like that.
The rule of thumb is, whatever quality of girl you feel you deserve and can boss around, is the quality of girl you will get. Anything above that you will not be able to handle because your confidence is too low. Hot girls have high confidence. As a guy, in order to attract a girl your confidence and value must be higher than hers. If you want to date models, you need to develop balls of steel and a delusional, borderline narcissistic degree of self-confidence and self-love. You need to be unfazed and just have an I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude.
Or become famous. Famous guys get hot girls easily.
Dating & Relationships
A Question For LeoI don't do pickup much any more.
I have no problem with flirting with girls per se. My complaint was the ideology that many PUAs adopt and their stage Orange attitude towards sex and life.
Flirting with girls is not necessarily at odds with long-term relationships or emotional investment. There is no relationship without flirting.
All dating is a sort of manipulation and getting your own needs met, even if you never do pickup.
99% of relationships of any kind are just you trying to getting your own needs met. You don't really care about anyone "as they really are", you care about how they can fit into your life and serve your needs.
Dating and flirtation is a skillset. All skillsets are a set of "tricks" in that sense. If you want to get good around women you need to learn the rules of how that works. Pickup teaches some of those rules of attraction. How you then use them is up to you.
Good pickup is not really about controlling girls. It's about controlling yourself.
Controlling people is not something I recommend. You can become much more attractive and confident without having to control women.
Rather than thinking of pickup as stuff you do to the woman, think of it as changing your own inner game and how you view women. Think of it as becoming a stronger, more authentic man.
There are many versions of pickup. Some of it is very dysfunctional, some of it is great. You have to learn to sort the wheat from the chaff.
As a man, dialing in your own inner game is great stuff. Learning to be charismatic, bold, and authentically expressive is great stuff. Elimimating various kinds of limiting beliefs about women is great stuff. Gaining lots of experience talking to women is great stuff.
You have to remember, most women are very social and flirt and socialize non-stop. To them it is like breathing air. They develop a lot of this experience naturally in a way that many nerdy guys do not. Which is why many guys require extra training in a way that women do not. Guys have responsibilities with initating the flirt which women do not.
And in the end all dating and relationship is a distraction from awakening.
Dating is a survival function. Dating is brutal whether you do pickup or not. People are very selfish in relationships by default. Women are also very selfish when selecting mates. Reproduction is a ruthless game which people tend to be in denial about.
what is marriage about and am i ready for it?@ajasatya
You made some good points and I can definitely see how people could potentially use marriage as a spiritual practice. So if two people really consciously decided that's what they wanted, that be cool.
From my POV marriage though isn't an attractive option mostly because I don't care for monogamy. Every time I've been monogamous with a girl it ended up feeling forced and like I didn't even know why I was doing it.
I also don't correlate sexual loyalty with being a good partner. If she wants to fuck somebody else I don't care, most people cheat at some point anyway. Just as long as she's okay with me doing the same.
Leo picking up girls
I'm finally admitting that I suck at talking to womenAfter my Horrifying yet incredibly beautiful DMT trip, my higher self or God as my mind wishes to call it came to the conclusion that my mind is going to have to be brutally honest with itself and that this is the best news ever. I wouldn't necessarily say its my conversation thats off , although it still needs a lot of work, my biggest obstacle with talking to women is getting my mind to relax. The times I recall that I've had amazing interactions with women is when I've been entirely present and relaxed. Approaching isnt even hard when you're relaxed, you see a woman give you look of interest and conversation just flows out of you, if you arent relax you might as well not bother approaching as you're not going to be in the right mental state to lead a conversation. Most of this requires getting rid of a load of bullshit and old thinking patterns out of your head