thehero

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Posts posted by thehero

  1. Posted

    @Nahm

    Hey :) thanks for reconnecting with me - appreciate it. 

    I have been doing the leo meditation you've linked 1x/day as well as a teal swan heart meditation 1x day. i havent experienced such love for myself forever. 

    i noticed that i still have low self-esteem and that it won't go away after just one meditation session lol. 

    i've been helping my parents around the house also and i've never done this before 

    and forgiving myself when i fuck up

    but the biggest thing is when i dont feel love, undesired or unworthy i connect with my heart and love myself fully and completely. all parts of it, without desiring change

    am i doing it right? would you add / change anything?

  7. Posted · Edited by thehero

    On 12/2/2018 at 8:53 PM, Nick5050 said:

    I am also not taking 'enlightment' and 'oneness' material to serious because i think i am just not ready yet. I need to get my shit together (having financial stability first) before i dive deeper in enlightment. I need to evolve from stage orange/green first

    I'm with you brother. Same boat :D

    I'm going to check out those two videos, I avoided them because I thought they were enlightenment related but now I have more juicy videos to check out :D 

     

    In today's video Leo said that I can charge $100k for my videos but I put it out for free. I think that's a nice insight to have. I notice that when I see things cost a lot of money, I tend to take it a lot more seriously. Like Leo's videos I don't take seriously sometimes but I might take a $100 course super seriously just because I paid for it

  13. Posted · Edited by thehero

    I'm contemplating becoming a lone wolf. this way i won't be needy and i can just focus on myself and no longer depend on people 

    people are fickle :/ 

     

    also this feels more like a diary than a journal? a public personal diary? lol. im thinking about just taking this back into private

     

    i'm grateful for my therapist, i'm grateful for my parents, i'm grateful for not being brought up in a 3rd world or 2nd world country, i'm grateful for my parents for supporting & funding me, i'm grateful for Leo, i'm grateful for my good health, i'm grateful for being brought up in a safe neighborhood in north america, i'm grateful for my mother and her deep love and passion for me, i'm grateful to be pseudo-supported by my friends, i'm grateful for my business, i'm grateful for knowledge, i'm grateful for learning, i'm grateful for the mastery process, i'm grateful for mediation, i'm grateful for books, i'm grateful for the internet, i'm grateful for finding personal development at the age of 20, i'm grateful that i will be more developed than Leo than his age due to his sharing of his insights (thank you leo), i'm grateful for the abundance of water i have, i'm grateful for my parents for surviving to give me a good life to allow me to thrive, i'm grateful for having my best friend in personal development, i'm grateful for having friends around me that hang out with me, i'm grateful for my mom cleaning my room, i'm grateful for...

  16. Posted · Edited by thehero

    @Charlotte thank you for the support :)

    @Nahm thank you so much nahm for lending out a hand. I will be reading that many times over. It wasnt too ahead at all it was perfect. Rekindled some hope within me. Thanks again 

    @Solace thanks Solace, this came at a perfect time as I'm beginning to open my heart chakra. I'll do that for 5 minutes in the night :)

  21. Posted

    Hey guys - 

    I've been noticing that

    When I don't feel desired by people

    I can't function and I feel suicidal

    My worth is tied up in their approval 

    And I feel not worthy unless I'm being approved of 

    also 

    I feel super lonely, and not wanted

    I don't know what to do about these feelings? It's extremely negative and hurtful, there's a lot of suffering

    What practices do I do, what book do I read, what action steps do I take?

    How does this work? I'm not really sure what to do, it's a reoccuring pattern

     

    People tell me to forget about people and find happiness in solitude, but it's not working. I am like so desperate to be wanted, to feel connection and to have love 

    --

    I'm guessing that I have to find a girlfriend but then everyone says that I should just be independent and not need a girlfriend? It feels like a catch 22? To be happy you have to be independent, but since im independent (perhaps I'd say alone/isolated/not desired as synonym to independent) I'm not happy and suffering greatly?

     

    Honestly - I don't know what to do. This sucks.  I can't get any work done when I don't feel loved or desired. I just want to sit in bed and sleep. I feel utterly alone. this is very vulnerable of me. thanks to those that read this and help 

    There's also this one girl in my life. She's a nice person. but. she only comes to me when she's alone. when she has people, i seem to be forgotten. but when she doesn't have people, i'm her best friend! hahahahahaha. this makes it hard for me to depend on her. when she doesn't message me, i'm literally depressed. i cant think straight i cant function. i literally NEED attention. i'm literally desperate for it. it's crazy

    see, I can go and do other things, work on my passions and my purpose, but deep down, i still want love and attention, and it causes me so much suffering. 

    people feel like oxygen. i need people. 

    I know I ideally shouldnt be dependent on her.  but I am.

    i want to go out and make new friends, people that care about me for me, but i keep self sabotaging! i go out, try, but i make no results because i keep getting scared they will leave me, or they wont like me, or that im too boring, or my words are too boring etc. 

    even if nobody can help, thanks for listening. 

  23. Posted · Edited by thehero

    Listening to so much of Leo that you're forced to self reflect and become aware of things. When you start becoming aware of things you start seeing problems.

    The problem is that you literally ARE NOT AWARE. that's why you are stuck in the habits. Awareness alone is curative. 

    It's all stuck on loops and your awareness is low. Which is why it's called low consciousness i guess? You are not aware with a lack of consciousness. 

    The mind does NOT LIKE to be aware. It hurts you PHYSICALLY. Literally physically. Because emotions are physical phenomena (bodily sensations to be exact). You feel pain when you become more aware 

    Your environment is also low conscious! It's all this massive low conscious things. The content you consume, the marketing, society and the people around you are all feeding you low consciousness shit. The human being molds to its environment. 

    The #1 way to change is to have high consciousness around you. Content and people. Surround yourself with that, and you will mold to higher consciousness. 

    Practice mindfulness and become aware of your habits. Without mindfulness or awareness you will be stuck in your loops. 

    Awareness , awareness, awareness! It must be applied everywhere ! 

    The first step to change is to become aware of it - Nathaniel Branden

    It's just that awareness is PAINFUL and takes effort! But it's worth it 1000x. Your life gets better the more conscious you become. 

    Easiest things you can do is cut out all low consciousness content as much as possible and develop a meditation habit. Also realize these things im saying for yourself so you learn the significance of awareness which will push you to desire awareness. Learning = behavior change, awareness alone is curative. 

    If you want to change them, see if they resonate with the material. Find their stage on SD or wherever they are in life and just guide them to whatever next insight is important to them. Only if they're receptive. Otherwise they're not really going to change lol.