starsofclay

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Posts posted by starsofclay

  1. Posted

    @frnsh thanks :) one of the points that I wanted to get across, but probably failed, is that we are not necessarily inside the avatar. Imagine if your memory was erased (like it happens in movies) and then you were locked in a dark room, and all you were allowed to see was live captured footage  of some complete stranger wearing a head cam. Eventually you would come to believe that you were that person. But say that person lives in Japan, and you happen to be held hostage in England. Your reality that was defined for you would have you believe that you are in japan, which... If you only knew.

    What im trying to break out of is the belief that I am inside my head. Inside this avatar at all.  So then where am i? Do i surround my avatar like a ball of energy? Am i unconsciously circling the earth while only aware of being in starsofcay's body? Am i drifting around somewhere in the blackness of space? Well the answer is, yes. To all the above.  But through the avatar's eyes, which interpret light into all that it sees around it, it unwittingly keeps  me tethered and enslaved to its paradigm. I may be everywhere and everything, eternal and infinite, yet confined to a vehicle that has several issues, to say the least. 

  3. Posted

    So this is a working theory for me right now... I'm going to try and word it the best my little pea-sized brain can... ya'll can feel free to tell me how completely ridiculous it is, won't hurt my feelings. Ok here goes:

    We have been conditioned from birth to believe that we live in a world of light. If you think about it, you most likely spent the first nine months of your life in complete darkness, and not until birth do we start to experience the first rays of light and whine and cry at the sheer complexity of it. It burns our little baby eyes, and takes weeks or months to adjust. From then on we are told that this is the world, and  this is all there is. That we should always seek the light and fear darkness. It becomes our reality, and we have little control over that belief (at first). But it couldn't be further from the truth. 

    In fact, we live in nothingness. We are nothingness. Our eyes deceive us, and bind our consciousness to this plane, which is ruled by light. But it is not our home. We are merely seeing through an avatar, which happens to be stuck on earth at the moment. We are tricked into thinking that we are the avatar. An avatar that lives in a world of light. One that needs food, water, and air to survive. Although, this is true for the avatar, and of course it will die without those things, the trick is realizing that this is not you. You are eternal. You are infinite. You have never had a beginning, or an end. And your true home is nothingness. 

    And you can experience this right now.

    Close your eyes, or better yet go into a completely dark room and sit. Already you are one step closer to experiencing the true reality. Nothingness. Blank. Cut off from the lie that is light. Sit very still and try not to move. Then ask yourself: where are you? Are you still in the same reality you were in only minutes before? Go ahead and check. Touch your arm. Yes, the avatar is still there. It did not dissolve just because the light is gone. But wait, you aren't the avatar, right?. You aren't the body. Return to a comfortable position and remain still once more. If you are in a pitch-black room, open your eyes. Look all around without moving your head. You will notice it is all the same. Without light, your eyes are no longer being lied to. They have nothing to rest on. Nothing to perpetuate the deception.  If you close your eyes again, you will notice that there is absolutely no difference in perception. Only an avatar following orders. The darkness remains constant, eyes open or closed. 

    Now try to detach yourself from the belief that you live in a world of light. For beginners this may take practice, but over time it should become easier. Become a tiny speck in the darkness. Move through the darkness. Try to move what would be 5 steps ahead. Of course you wouldn't know whether you moved or not because you have no frame of reference, but still try. Put your intent on leaving the avatar and moving about 5 steps ahead. Stay here for a minute or two. This probably serves little purpose besides helping you to detach from the belief that you are inside your body. When there is light, it is hard to detach from the deception that your eyes create for you. Light snaps you back into that plane. In a pitch black room, we are detaching. We become one with the true reality: pure, unadulterated nothingness. 

    Now I'm not saying that light is evil, or that it intends to deceive and trap you into this false reality. Light is merely a tool, not God. Stop serving the light as God. You are God. Your body is not God. Your body is a tool. A tool to explore this reality of light. (Sidenote: of course if you want to get really deep, everything is God, but you can't single things out) Without light, there would be very little experience on this plane. Without light, we wouldn't be able to witness the majesty of mountains and lakes, or the joy of a small child playing. We experience many beautiful things with the help of light. But we must also remember that this is not our true home. This is a false reality that we confine ourselves to.

    And for this reason, light is nothing but a beautiful liar. 

  4. Posted · Edited by starsofclay

    @frnsh that's interesting, I'm not sure why he would have said that, perhaps he was talking about no control in this current dream that we are all sharing. 

    For lucid dreaming, control can be hard to gain, even if you realize you are dreaming. I've learned that combining intent with visualisation is the key. So for example, if you are lucid and you want to do some jedi trick where you pull something towards you like telekinesis, just the intent of doing it doesn't always work. But if you visualize the thing, say a cup of water, coming towards you, coupled with the intent of doing it, it's much easier. 

    If you want to go through a wall, you may get stuck and frustrated, so you imagine yourself being on the other side of the wall, meanwhile actively trying to pass through and it should work

  6. Posted

    @Leo Gura

    11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    @Paulus Amadeus That's right. You can look forward to an infinite number of times being raped, murdered, and abused. And you can also look forward to an infinite number of times being loved, caressed, wowed, overjoyed, etc.

    You will experience every experience possible.

    When this really sinks into your mind, you will weep like a baby. And you will also understand why nonduality is so fucking radical that no one wants to accept it. It's way too much to accept.

    The Absolute will simultaneously awe you and scare the shit out of you.

    Just think about this for a moment: there are 39 million cows slaughtered every year in the USA. You, as God, will experience each of those slaughterings personally, with your own throat. And that's just cows, in this country, on this planet, in one year. There are 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars in the universe with planets similar to ours, with who knows what kinds of creatures committing what kinds of acts of violence against one another. And the universe has 14 billion years in it. And this is just one out of an infinite number of universes!

    And suddenly you start to see the scope of God.

    My question is when do we actually get to experience that, as god as you say. I know in your video "my deepest awakening yet", you pretty much cognized this, but even that was fleeting, and it takes so much work to get there, and not everyone is going to have that opportunity, mostly because they won't take it.  That was a glimpse, but I'm supposing "death" is when we integrate and finally experience what you are describing, or at least remember all of what you are describing. Like waking up from a weird ass dream into an even stranger (yet familiar) one. By death, I do mean bodily death, although sometimes it seems interchangeable with ego death. I suppose one can experience either one without the other.   Personally, I (starsofclay) haven't experienced either yet, so I'm  just blindly swatting at flies right now... 

  9. Posted

    Yes! I think we need to stop thinking of it as a separate, "dreamed up" reality, and more of a continuation of the one we experience while awake.  What's to say that it wasn't real, or wan't true?

    I guess you could call the person up, or facebook them, and they would say, no, that they did not have the same experience as you, therefore it was not true or real. But who gives a shit? Perhaps her consciousness was there, she just doesn't remember it. There's no way to prove that right or wrong.  Even if she said she was awake studying for exams at the exact time you were dreaming doesn't prove it. I think consciousness can split off like that, even when we are awake. Either way, it happened to "you", to "Doc Holiday". It made you feel something. Probably changed you in subtle or not so subtle ways already.  

    Yes I have experienced sexual dreams ( I don't have them very often actually) where the full sensation of touch, and even sex, is all there. Sometimes it feels even better than "real life", because the ego's influence is lowered, and all the emotions are heightened. 

  10. Posted · Edited by starsofclay

    @Serotoninluv  Have you heard of making chips out of the flesh, instead of making tea? I think you use a dehydrator.... I think this is the method I want to go with but not sure about the dosing.  Also, does this one require a sitter? Or is it more like pot where you are definitely altered, but in control? 

    *by the way, san pedro is completely legal to purchase and grow :) yay loopholes!

  13. Posted

    @Sahil Pandit  probably not the same as auto suggestion, but when I am at work, and it starts to get stressful, as is usually does, once I hear myself complaining I stop myself and say the exact opposite of what I'm complaining about.  Reverse - psychology I guess... It works and alters my mood, not to mention relieves any tension that I would have created with my employees by complaining... 

    Also if I say something like, "wow I'm tired..." I'll correct myself and let everyone know how not tired I am

  15. Posted · Edited by starsofclay

    yes! sometimes this happens with me to words that pop up randomly in my meditation. Not words that come in my stream of thoughts, but pop out of nowhere, only to hear or see them written down soon after. Random words that I have no reason to be thinking about.  in fact there's a post somewhere on here where I mentioned that...

    I assume it has to do with the whole infinity thing... they aren't really predictions because they are all happening at the same time, however we see them as predictions because we are stuck in forward motion...

    edit: I guess I should mention this happens mostly while "meditating" with pot, since I haven't actually started a clean meditation practice until a couple weeks ago. 

  21. Posted · Edited by starsofclay

    One technique that I (like to think) that I came up with has to do with brain training, particularly training concentration and visualization. I must admit I have slacked off of this for a long time, and forgot about it, but now that I am doing a morning meditation routine, I might implement it before meditation, as it will help to calm me down (I wake up pretty wired)

    Basically, what you do is count from 1-100, silently, eyes closed,  while also visualizing yourself drawing the number with an imaginary finger. The better you get, the more detailed the numbers can look, but a thin simple line is fine. This is harder than it seems, especially because you must focus only on the numbers and not lose train of thought, or forget which number you are on. For an unfocused mind, you might be lucky to get to 20 or 30 without losing train of thought. 

    Now for advanced practice: count up to 100, while visualizing the numbers down from 100- 1. Yes its tricky but possible! this is where you really get some concentration practice! If your brain hurts--- GOOD!