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About Dizzy

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    Aspiring Baboon

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    Halifax, Canada
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  1. Hey there @nexusoflife , I can certainly relate to you very well. I am unsure if I can give any valid advice, but I will tell you some of what I went through. As I seriously walk on this path of true self realization, I am less and less attached to the external world. I realized that hanging out is no longer interesting to me, as I also rather spend my free time meditating or reading. Initially, it was difficult to tell people about this "new me" that no longer seeks doing this or that. Also, at some point, it was awfully hard to be around highly asleep people. I was ready in a sense to give up everything to go to meditate in a cave for the rest of my life. Why didn't I ? Well, with a little help, I realized I don't need to shut down the whole world as I wished to do so. I can practite mindfulness around people and it became a fun practite to watch how others interact, worry and look for drama. I also did learn that is ok to put up a mask to be around people, especially at work. The Dizzy they see and interact is not the "real Dizzy". And that's fine too. Like I don't need to preach anything I learned on my spiritual path to anyone around me or tell my co-workers all the mystical experiences I had last night. I am learning to allow people to be as they are. Ok, mostly everyone I know seems to have a miserable life and at first was hard to see them suffering and be quiet about it. The more I told them my true about this path, more closed minded people became. Then I realized there is nothing I can do for them. I can only allow them to be themselves, even if they emotionally are just hurting themselves. I can not preach, teach or try to change their perspective of the world. I may be able to do so if one has interest on listening or may be looking for a change, but if not, nevermind then. I learned that the best way to interact is to listen, and while listening I am aware of my own judgments. Doing so, it was easy to keep looking deeply into the situation and layer by layer removing the barriers that separates us. The only barrier is really what the mind creates. I also became distant from my family, boyfriend and dearly old friends, although it dosent mean I don't love them anymore (as some claim that's what happened) but much to the opposite. As I became more aware of our true nature, I found myself in love with all. They just can't see it πŸ€” Adyashanti said " Make no mistake about it – enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true." So yeah, during the process of awakening our identifications will be declining, I suppose it's common to experience a release of many or all attachments of the mind. And that has nothing to do with non love towards family members. I guess we won't find people to talk about psychedelics trips for spiritual growth or Akashic records in ordinary work or school, so yeah, I also don't have anyone around me that I can talk to, so this forum came very handy to me I am forever grateful for many people here that helped me greatly. I guess you can meet up like minded people on retreats, workshops or even Buddha-like stores/ coffee shops. I never tried lol I find too difficult and I am completely fine having online friends that I can deeply relate to and talk like I am talking to my oldest best friend. Not sure if that's any helpful to you, but thought I could share it. Trust your path! You seem to be doing great progress and eventually you will know how to live to your highest values. Rumi said " what you seek is seeking you". Slowly but surely you will know. There is no hurry to figure this all out. You are only 20 and seem uncommonly wise for your age, so yeah, keep doing your practices and clarity will come Being minimalist is one of the greatest aspects of my days now You said you are going to college, is your major related to what you realized you want now ? If not, well, you know what to do...😁
  2. @Loreena Did you feel good while having this trip. What was your emotional state ? I can not say I felt good. Good didn't really exist or made sense during most of the trip. Emotions were gone too. Just at the very start I laughed when I looked at the window and the ocean was there but at same time it wasnt. It was there as the ocean, but it was clear the ocean was also me. There was nothing to separate me from the ocean, and I laughed because I looked to the window and saw the ocean everyday, but now I looked and didn't see the "same " ocean as before. After that, all the emotions were gone. You said you felt everything was, your hand was you, you were the water, and you said you had no emotions, wouldn't that feel very passive or robotic like dead. How is that feeling beautiful ? If you had no emotions, it means you neither felt good nor bad, just like a statue. Mundane and unaffected. Yes. Pretty much it, neither good or bad. At some point I could not say that the experience was beautiful, having no emotions and no identity, was intense. Yet, intense was not bad, or good. How helpful was such an experience in real life as you were coming out of the trip ? Very very helpful Shortly after the trip and the next few days I was still in a deep state of no identication with my mind, thought, personality, or emotions. Emotions still came up, and as I noticed them, they would go away pretty quick. And it was no longer intense, it was a sense of liberation on what I seemed to be stuck. So the good part came after the trip. A lot of my fears has been washed away. The night after the mushroom trip I dreamed of seeing a lot of snakes. I was just looking at the them. My whole life I was scared to death of snakes and would wake up in a state of deep fear when dreaming of snakes, but that night, I woke up in peace regardless of the snakes on my dream. Also, this last trip has helped me to clearly see that what creates the duality is my mind, and any minute I go to separation I ask "what is separating me from them?". The answer is clear: nothing! Then I can look deeply and find love. It's been wonderful to find love anywhere I go. Of course, I still experience negative emotions, but my awareness has increased deeply since this trip. My meditation practice also has been deeper and deeper since then. It's like a " Zero Experience" or "No Experience," right? ...How is that a good experience. It's like you are temporarily cut off from life. Yes. A good way to describe is that I felt neither alive or dead. And as I had no identification with nothing, I could just be existence, or life itself.
  3. Why would that matter ? πŸ€” People idolize Trump, Obama, Leo, their teachers, God, the sun, the stars, this guy's thread. Not a thing one can do about that. If he sees it or not, if he likes or dislikes, that shouldn't be a problem either
  4. Awesome!!! Thank you very much for sharing @Nahm I can relate to your insights very well, especially the cosmic joke πŸ˜‚ it's a hilarious universe indeed! " Are you really telling me that this little Dizzy found out the secret of universe ?" Oh well, that cant be a secret, only If one dosent want to realize it. "All is one, one is all, so this little me here has no say on play? " πŸ˜‚ that's just beyond awesome and very funny to me. " Are you telling me love, the thing I always wanted the most and was scared to have it and then loose it, is actually here within, and has no conditions and nothing personal to it ? Like I don't need a reason to love ? Is this simple? That is the most insane joke LOL !!! πŸ˜‚ "I am not this, or that, or X, Y, W, Z, 1, 2 or 3, or nothing as a matter of fact, so what am I? Could it be am I only existence ? πŸ€” well, yeah. A while later: πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Keeps going like that πŸ˜‚ too funny!!
  5. It's where I met like-minded people. Where I am now it's very hard to find people that I can relate to, so I am forever grateful for this forum and all the wonderful souls here
  6. It certainly appears that way Did you have this impression too @nexusoflife ?
  7. πŸ˜‚ The Upanishads is on my book list, which only seems to grow these days. I will write to you when/if I get to it. I am also very interested on reading Liberation in one lifetime- Milarepa and Ramayana. Have you read these as well ? Yes, I am very curious to learn more theory and ancient tales, but ultimately we know they are a distraction.
  8. @Nahm Would you please write us a trip report of your 8gm ? I am sure many members of this forum would love to read more about it especially considering your background of 23 years of practices. When you have some free time, please give us this gift
  9. @Mondsee You may find on your path that you can hug Stalin and Hitler, a rapist or a terrorist, and love them as your best friends, as you love yourself by no resisting the natural course of life - love, you will find this so called unconditional love.
  10. Have you seen this @Joseph Maynor ? Doubt you will have questions after watching this
  11. I had serious consequences for being honest with my boss and telling my true Truth! For being honest, I was called a liar and irresponsible. Eventually the situation turned around as I kept my honesty, she did apologize to me and all is well now. As to a stranger passing by, on the beginning of my process of "no more masks and lies" I would find hard to show anything but a polite happy face. Today, I am showing what I am. It dosent matter if anyone will like or not, agree or disagree. In the end, they can have any perspective they want to have, and that will not affect my being. To be clear, as soon as I started dropping the mask I was also increasing my awareness, doing so I am much more peaceful today then I was when I was pretending something and holding up a mask. But yes, I deeply realize that are tons of consequences of it. Especially for people that loves me and expect things from me, I realized the more I tell them my truth, the more I hurt them and consequently (a few times) I hurt myself too. " Why did I tell the truth if this caused so much pain? I should just have lied and put on the mask". I am learning to make peace with the truth - pain situation. The truth can hurt and be painful, yet once the REAL TRUTH is said, it won't matter, as I will find love within the pain. Wish you love and light on your journey @OnceMore
  12. Oh uau! This is an incredibly profound trip! Thank you for sharing Definately the deeper mushroom trip I ever heard of. You did wonderful as for preparation and being ready for! Very happy for you the veil has been broken once, you can only go deeper for now on. Please, let us know how your pratictes are on the following weeks
  13. Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa is my Kundalini yoga teacher. Her classes are highly effective She has online videos, but I got her DVD, so I am unsure which particular video to reccomend.
  14. What do mean by "fully enlightened"? What is enlightenment theory for you? Don't need to tell me, just ask yourself that. If you are looking to feel happy and be connected to God, I am sorry but that is not enlightenment. IMO, we can't simply watch a few videos and decide "on yeah I wanna be enlightened", then do one or two pratictes and figure "if Leo never got it, I won't either". Well, the process needs to start from the very begginging. You need to learn to change your whole judgmental perspective over yourself and what others did and others do. Yes, you may never beat Usain Bolt, but that is NOT a comparison to realize our true nature. This is NOT a competition in X time. Much Like Leo said, Seems to me that there are tons of practices you need to focus on before getting into self pity " I will never be enlightened". I reccomend looking to master your emotions, make peace with yourself, learn to be present, learn to be extremely patient, watch Leo's video How to Get Started with Self Actualization - over 40 techniques and TRULY apply the pratictes you choose for a few years. That's when you will really start climbing the Everest and during the climbing, the forum is here to help with others insights and experiences that we may have been through