WaterfallMachine

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About WaterfallMachine

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    Lesser Chimp
  • Birthday 04/10/2001

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  1. I am not expecting much from strangers. That's why I said it was simply a suggestion. I didn't want to force people to learn this for something they're not payed for. So I emphasized their choice. There was a possibility that someone would change their ways here so I posted a thread on it even if not everyone like this would bother. Anyway, for the others on this thread, thank you for your insights. I'll go ponder on it myself.
  2. Interesting. I thought of this concept myself but changed my mind on putting it. In my opinion, you don't teach someone by limiting the information and expecting them to figure it out. It's laying down all the available sides of information and telling them to treat that as a guideline. It's like giving people different successful maps to finding treasure. They're all different but they are similar in certain ways that can act as a clue. The goal was never to copy a map to a different piece of treasure that other people already found but to treat all that as a guide to create your own map. The natural lack of your own map is already a training to thinking for yourself — rather than removing all the guide maps or to rip different parts out of the guide maps. This is because from studying the science and art of creativity — I've learned original ideas often don't come in isolation. They come from inspiration from other ideas. Einstein could only create the original idea of the theory of relativity because of the basic physics already created. Shakespeare could only create his own original writings because it was founded on the idea of the English language in the first place. Though, on the other hand, it also could be a matter of context like you said. It'd be still useful to allow the people to think for themselves even without any guidelines. Guidelines carry with them certain assumptions that can be hard to remove. Think of the openness of a child compared to a more cynical adult. So it'd be useful to to allow people to figure things out themselves and form ideas without preconceived notions. Then only after — guides can be given.
  3. What is with people here? One of the key guidelines to advising is knowing what it's like to not know what you know. Imagine not knowing anything about personal development. Nothing about meditation. Nothing about mindset. Nothing about discipline. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Then you get odd ideas like, "You are the universe." "In a deeper level, you know everything." "Your ego is just making you think you are superior or inferior when actually everyone is equal." You'd think, "The fuck. What is this mambo jumbo bullshit?" Even if you knew some background into this and was open — new information you find isn't going to help you much. This is the kind of stuff that makes people so skeptical of ideas like spirituality. It's too vague. Dig up some examples. Sprinkle some analogies. Throw in some methods to realize this. Chop up their worldviews with arguments. Splash in some quotes from someone who explains it with more quality. Muse on a damn story. Draw a line around the boundaries with a definition. Anything other than a sentence with barely enough explanation. The ideal is to have people know something both in an abstract level as well as a concrete level. I'm not telling you that you have to do this. Everyone has a different style of advising and you're free to do what you want — I'm just suggesting another perspective. If you have any objections or criticisms, feel free to tell me. Which means : Abstract level." It allows an understanding of the theory. 1. Plan English. "Enlightenment is oneness without being similar." It provides a direct to the point statement when needed. Useful for clearing up misunderstandings. But many people overuse this to the point of being too vague. 2. Analogies allow some deeper understanding of the theory. "Enlightenment is like a carpet. It has different shapes and colors inside it but they are all part of the same carpet." 3. Definitions. "Enlightenment is nothingness. Not the nothingness of pure black. Or something empty. It's not the word or the idea of nothingness. It's just nothingness." It allows a more precise understanding of what we're talking about here. Some people talk about the same words but not the same ideas. Concrete level It allows understanding of the practical side of this. 1. Examples allow you to see the idea in everyday life. "Look at a book. When you remove the ideas around it — its history, your memories, what the use of a book is, its cultural ideas and your ideas of what to do with it in the future. Remove that. Just see the book with pure seeing." 2. Methods. Needed for obvious reasons. Something like Leo's Practical Guide to Enlightenment on the Meditation forum. If I remember correctly, it goes like this, "Who are you?" "Who are you?" "No — who the fuck are you?!" The different questions are the methods. He also provides some tips arnd warnings. 3. Stories. This provides some emotional influence with the reader. What's more inspiring and motivating? A scientific study on growth mindset? Or a story about a man struck in poverty and finding the hope to make a living for his family? Objective information allows for the right decisions, but feelings are what motivates to go towards these decisions. ----- I based it from this. https://betterexplained.com/articles/adept-method/ Yes, it's for math. ADEPT technique. Analogies. Diagram. Example. Plain English. Technical. Somewhere sooner or later as a STEM student, I realized this could also be used for science concepts that didn't use math. Then I realized it could be used for ideas like history or politics. One day I thought it could be used to understand and teach personal development. Just change the technical to not the mathematical definiton or equation to a definiton about the life concept. And change the diagram of it to a life advice context picture. And boom. Eureka!
  4. Haha. I used to have the same bad habit too and I still do at times. Knowledge made me feel safe — I thought the answer to all life's problems was just knowing enough to solve it. I remember being high strung in the middle of a car ride. My legs shaking from the nervous energy. My breath quick and my eyes flitting around wondering what to do. I kept thinking and thinking. But then there was the sunset. The glorious red and orange colors taking a rest for the day. Rather than huched back, I leaned on the leather seat in relief. I watched in quietness as night came, the buildings and the people went by. It was a stillness. A calm. A tranquility. I thought I could only be happy and safe if I was thinking. But it seemed — there were insights you could find only by being there without thinking a thing in the world. ---------- You have to figure out the specific reasons why you're so scared. Ask why? Then after asking why, ask why are you doing it really? Keep going — even for repeated practice on days — until you find that there's nothing more to find. Awareness diffuses the fear. After all — It might not just be the environment around you that needs clarity. It could be to clear up the confusion of what's going on inside you too. People doing this exercise find that that they realize a lot of unexpected motivations inside themselves. Another thing is finding ways to relax that don't require much information gathering or much thinking. Something physical — like exercise. Maybe something mentally light like listening to instrumental music. The more you become comfortable with not knowing, the easier this becomes. Many people who find comfort with thinking too much are people who don't take enough action. When they learn too much by getting inside their heads, they don't learn enough by real world experience. They fear the real world but the only way to be really certain of things is to try it yourself and see what happens. That's how you gain the confidence to live without constantly thinking.
  5. I remember reading a book called Essentialism by Greg Mckeon. It was a book on the art of focusing on what's essential in life and cutting up all the unnecessary parts of it. One was to to take time to think. I remember in another book there was a team focusing on finding a way to deal with traffic. They discussed it among themselves. They planned for it. They organized for it. They gathered the materials and people needed. They expanded the road so more cars could pass. But seeing this, people just bought more cars and even more people drove. And traffic was the same as before. They acted on it well. But what about their thinking on it? Their ideas of what the root causes of the problem are? It wasn't as solid as their action. Efficiency without thinking of the accuracy of their beliefs about the situation was faulty. And that is what caused them to fail. I remember watching some kind of drama as a child. It told a story of a man who was shy and nervous around a girl he liked. And wanting this — he took up guitar and singing. The ladies love the guitar guy, right? Later on, he was able to get famous. It was utterly fantastic he thought. But the drone of being a star began turning more and more monotone and routine. One day, he watched the girl he liked pass by the street laughing with another man. He realized with a pain in his heart that he has forgotten the reason of why he has done this in the first place. So without thinking of what you care about, what is meaningful and what is valuable to you — not society — you can't direct yourself well. And you cannot realize this with only action — reflection on how you act is needed too. In the Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli, a book on common thinking errors, he emphasizes the bias of action. Some people think that acting more and more means they accomplish more. But like the people solving traffic there, they could need more thinking. Or like a leisurely gardener waiting for the plants to grow after watering them — all what's needed is patience . So enjoy thinking. Long as you don't make it into overthinking — you'll learn a lot.
  6. It's an addiction. It's like the craving a once addicted smoker has after a few months of not smoking. They feel the craving whenever they see someone else smoking cigarette. Their thoughts wander around to it when they're lying down exhausted on their bed. They eye cigarettes in a store but push themselves to rush past it. That's what it's like for me with lying. Life has been going smoothly for me these past few months — But I've gotten back to being depressed. So much work has been piling up lately. My confidence to handle it goes down. Then my confidence in life in general starts withering. And so I end up thinking about this again. It's been several months since I've been on lying sprees. I lied because I wanted praise. I lied because I believed without accomplishments — you were worthless and a loser. People currently around me are supportive but I have this irrational suspicion that because I'm no longer lying — no one really accepts me. Yes, I know that's the stress talking. But what do I do about it? I've been slowly practicing being vulnerable for more than a year but it seems too hard, too slow, and it takes so much effort to put my full trust even with people I'm close to even if they're affirming. I can't seem to admit this in full detail in real life (I only lied bragging on the internet). I'm ashamed. But I seem to at least be able to ask help here. Please, I don't want to go back. But I can't stop thinking about it.
  7. @Joseph Maynor @Nahm Thanks for the descriptions. Unfortunately, I've been going through one of those ripping out identity sequences again a day after I posted this and I'm still stuck with it. Damn. Here we go again. . .
  8. What is this? Is this related to the mindfulness or what? I had this big acceleration of the feeling of peacefulness one day. I can't explain it perfectly enough —but I experienced that all meaning in life is just made by the human mind. But instead of creating a feeling of emptiness — it allowed a freedom to what I wanted to do in my life. It's not perfectly sustained — sometimes I have to work to get it back. But it sticks around more— even for hours straight. After that — I notice I eat less — sometimes I even skip breakfast without feeling that hungry. And when I do eat breakfast — it tends to be smaller portions. The food throughout the day is in smaller portions too. I sleep less — often 7 hours a day or even less at times and for most of the next day, I feel alert. Though, with the exception of spending too much time with people — lots of work needs to be done in teams these days where I am — but even with that amount, it still seems to have more energy than before. I had this experience recently that lasted for a day — that involved tearing through most of my life's assumptions of how great I was in one painful ripping. I fell asleep exhausted for more than 2 hours. After a certain point — everything just seemed different. . . Usually when I get to states like this, it shocks me. Depresses me. Terrifies me. Disturbs me. Disgusts me. Angers me. But instead of that I just got . . . used to it. What happened?
  9. @Ryan_047 No money for therapy? I had a similar lack of access to therapy when I was depressed. Check out 7 Cups of Tea. A site with free volunteer listeners. They're trained by the 7 cups site with courses on different problems such as — relationship problems, social anxiety, depression, etc. They are not as good as actual therapists — but many of them have went through similar problems with their mental health themselves and many have good advice on dealing with that. They're also very warm — I distrusted everybody when I was depressed. I had this belief if everyone knew the real me — they'd abandon me. Think of me as weak. I was constantly fearing what they would think of me. But I was able to trust them. There are free sites online with different instructions for treatments. I've tried muscle progression relaxation, hypnosis, cognitive behavioral therapy exercises, mindfulness and meditation, physical exercise (research say they boost mood), going outside in nature more (research also says this boosts mood), gratitude exercises, awe walks, research on positive psychology, Enneagram (A study of the types of fears, anger and shame we have in life and how to deal with them in a healthy manner. ), VIA Strengths test (Knowing and using strengths in daily life boost confidence and sense of control) or happiness psychology on free sites like Coursera and so on. Its best done with a therapist sure — but the internet is full of vast information to help you. Even if you have a therapist — you often only meet him or her once a week. Most of the time spent through the days is done without one and you'd have to learn how to survive without one. There are many experienced practioners like actual therapists and psychologists who give out their advice online — so there's still room for help even without paying for one. I recommend you this site to start with. Good luck. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ Also VIA Strengths seem especially useful for confidence. https://www.viacharacter.org/www/ Enneagram also seems very useful for dealing with the trauma @Mad Max mentions. Here are the descriptions of the types. https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/ As well as a free email subscription with short reflections, lessons and practices for everyday for enneagram. https://subscriptions.enneagraminstitute.com/subscribers/create Scott Jeffrey's article series on Alchemical Transformation seems useful for treatment. His Shadow Work article is the best one I've found. https://scottjeffrey.com/guides/
  10. @Jonson People are telling you all about how the concept of superior and inferior is better removed — and that's great! But I get the sense that it could be explained in a more concrete detailed way — so that you can be aware of it in your everyday life and take action on this idea. Take any trait at all — let's say a good athlete. If there was no one else that existed except you — then there would be no good or bad athletes because you can't be better or worse because there's no one to compare it with. Who's superior and inferior are not objective traits — but are intersubjective — traits that only exist in our heads but has enough power because it exists in such a large amount of people. You can practice thinking of different traits like this to deeply base the concept in your mind. It's not enough to understand the concept — but to be able to identify specific examples of this in everyday life. Most modern people see the Nazis today as a racist and discrimantory people. But that's because they lost in the war after all — if they did, then most people alive today would see the Aryan race as superior. Christians would see the spread of their religion in history as good — but if it didn't have the factors that allowed it to spread — they wouldn't be Christians and they wouldn't see this as good. Sometimes I read history to understand this concept more — people alive more than a hundred years ago have entirely different values from today. This makes me recognize that the values of today can be different in more than a hundred years from now — making the ideas of who is superior or inferior more loose. Not that it's not a good idea to pump up your ego this way. How could you have motivation to do all the above work if you can't believe in yourself at all? You'd have to start somewhere to boost your confidence and while the above gives the most permanent change — it'd be pretty hard to do it. In the meanwhile, you can practice a less powerful but easier technique of reminding yourself what you're good at and making small steps towards getting better at what you want. Good luck!
  11. It has been one of the most life changing things I've ever learned. It does not predict 100% who you are but it does give an amazing guideline on what is likely who you are. One thing to get into for Mbti in personal development is developing your functions. Mbti says there are introverts or extroverts, intuitives or sensors, thinking or feeling and perceiving or judgement. Developing your functions often means that if you're a sensor, you can develop your intuitive function. If you're a feeler, you can develop your thinking function. And so on. What developing each function means for each person : Introverted functions : These functions help you reflect on your inner decisions and information — especially beneficial for extroverts who head into action and get "busy" without taking time to ponder. It allows more depth in life. Extroverted functions : These functions help someone get into the world more, getting exposed and offering something to other people's motivations and information to give — especially beneficial for introverts who stay too closeminded or attached into their own ways without listening to other's ideas and decisions. It allows a more expansive view in life. Intuitive functions : These functions help guide a person to analyze the big picture in their life and the world. It helps them to create a strategy, a vision or brainstorm ideas to change themselves and others. Sensing functions : These functions help a person to carry out what they want step by step and add practicality in life. It allows them an understanding of detail and the real world to adapt to it. Thinking functions : These functions help a person remain objective and logical in their decisions. Either through organizing their tasks to carry them out efficiently or organizing information for it to be accurate. Feeling functions : These functions help a person in their relationships to others — in being more kind and considerate. It aids their understanding of their own emotions and to allow acceptance for them. Perceiving functions : These functions help you collect information — whether it's from your own world of ideas or memories — or the outside world of ideas and sensory details. Judging functions : These functions guide decisions. It organizes their inner minds or their outer environment to reach their goals. How to do it : When studying Mbti, don't use the dichotomies on this. Search for understanding of Mbti cognitive functions. Everyone has a function for each dichotomy like how every sensor has an intuitive function or how every thinker has a feeling function. Good sites to use include : Personality Junkie — for a brilliant theoretical understanding of this all. Personality Hacker — for a brilliant practical understanding of this all. Other things : Search Mbti cognitive functions test. It's different from the usual dichotomy test and for many practioners — much much more accurate. This is because it doesn't predict your behavior or even beliefs — if analyzes the structure of what information you like to gain and how you prefer to decide things. More like a skeleton — and the muscles and skin is provided by culture, environment, background and experience. Another thing after finding your type is to search your type along with the keywords of developing functions, advice or personal development. Reddit, for example, has a lot of threads on life advice for their own type. I suggest you check out enneagram after Mbti — a typology based on motivations and how you deal with anger, fear and shame. You have a type for each of the three emotions listed that guide your motivations in life. Enneagram's goals is to use those emotions in a healthy manner to gain what you desire most in life. There is also a book called Personality Types by Riso Hudson, that explores each motivation and how a person is like at 9 levels of mental health in each motivation. His book The Wisdom of the Enneagram is a more practical material on how to climb the levels.
  12. I don't use physical notebooks as much. Physical notebooks lacks the organization and ease of searching for keywords I'm looking for. Also, sometimes my handwriting is so bad even I can't read it. I've used physical notebooks and the Evernote app for much of the entirety of my personal development journey. It was a revolution in my life like when humankind discovered the art of writing. When I write down goals and think through things — it's no longer easily forgotten. I can think things through more deeply. Organize my ideas and research better. Plan measurable steps to it. I usually use writing (or technically typing, sure.), I often use it to brainstorm ideas and organize research into something I can do. I use it to think through emotional obstacles. That's where I do things like Shadow Work, Archetype therapies, CBT, reflections on mindfulness and so on. I type in notes on more technical matters too. I also use it to take time for self awareness — give myself feedback, measure progress, celebrate what's done right, assess strengths and weaknesses in an area and adjust expectations. I probably should try a Gratitude journal again. I've been getting oddly frustrated with life not being enough. Oh well.
  13. It might have to do how humans shake during stress. Many animals shake when they're stressed to release tension. But the tendency of human beings like us is to repress the instinct to shake. Sometimes when I'm getting high strung and stressed, I try to go shake it off inside my room and I feel better. Maybe if you take time to shake it off alone, the instinct to shake won't reach you once you're in public. It's most likely a symptom of anxiety. But otherwise, ask a doctor. Good luck.
  14. @Marks199 It's good that you're working on mindfulness. How about take time to schedule a break too? It seems to be taking a toll on your body. If you're looking to relax your muscles, I recommend muscle progression relaxation technique. See https://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/MuscleRelaxation.pdf for instructions.
  15. @AleksM I didn't know strengthening my intuition would have these side effects. No wonder I've been getting oddly more painfully empathetic. My senses have always been sensitive but these days I kept getting a sneaking suspicion that it was getting worse. I've been absorbing all this energy without knowing. Damn. The mojan article helped the most. I was getting sensitive enough to lights and the music from the dancing club outside my house that I was getting exhausted. When I tried the exercises, it cleared up those sensitivities almost instantly. I was vaguelythinking of learning more about chakras somewhere along the way but thanks to this, I'm putting it on my priority list. Thanks! Ps : I've been feeling a pain in my head. Does that mean anything with the context of all this?