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About Lynnel

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  1. The idea behind my opinion is more complex : yes obviously age is a factor but "you're too old" can also be used to get rid of you if you're not attractive. So if he assumes it doesn't matter it won't bother him and obviously reality will strike and sometimes it will truly matter but at least he won't fail by thinking he's too old when he actually wasn't Overall we have to see on a case per case basis. It's very hard to have absolute statements for such things.
  2. Yeah I learned my lesson Thanks for the support everyone ! See you arround
  3. Maybe you've never met an attractive guy who was older ? Either way you can't assume it's the case for everyone and while he can do nothing about his age he can work and should work on his social skills.
  4. Unless you are very well calibrated this is a hard no. If you look even slightly creepy those questions are gonna create anxiety in her mind about her possible safety. That's why she avoided answering in the first place. Don't. Also for the love of god don't train on random girls in your neighbourhood - go out to bars and clubs and upgrade your skills there. Don't worry age has mostly nothing to do with this - your social skills do. Best of luck
  5. In America maybe, but here we have a more chill culture + it was a average sized company. Like I totaly expected companies to be dicks and devils. But not to that extent. Lesson learned, I guess. Thanks for you comment though I felt a bit better I've already done the life purpose course and I'm still figuring it out. Negotiation is a soft skill and I accepter the contract as is, because since I have no revelant work experience I have no grounds to negotiate on. Altough I got promises of a raise within x months - which was great. Like this wasn't a negotiation problem. Companies always give you a lower amount expecting you to negotiate after. They didn't hire me so I have no one to leave Thank you Robert. Some nuance is needed : I only negotiated to have a raise later if I were to improve my skills enough. And I got that written in the second version of the contract. But I told them I was willing to take the contract as is. Yes I do underestand that employer have no decency at all - it's all survival and I hold no value in their eyes they don't bother considered me as a human being. I do disagree with that because I hope as we get more green we actually get some decency in the corporate world. Usually, if you make an offer here it's pretty official, once you make an offer you do not go back unless you go bankcrupt or a disaster happens. It's a dick move. I've checked with everyone I know they were pretty shocked. So no, did not expect them to accept the small changes I asked for and I don't think that was the issue in the end.
  6. Warning : There is gonna be a little venting and strong language because I'm quite angry but please bear with me (and mods please be comprehensive). Also for the love of god please avoid one sentence unhelpful responses with kindergarden advice. I've been looking for a job since november which is extremely hard even in a civilized western country because I lack experience. Employers feel so risk averse I sometimes think it's the great depression or a wallstreet crash - with the slightest mishap if you don't have much experience they all start rationalizing it negatively. Anyways. Back to my story. I've gotten a great first interview. Then a second one. In total I met 7 people from the company, totaly nailed both interviews. The HR offered me the job and send me a first version of the contract. All good right ? Nope. I go on negociating the contract, it goes perfectly fine and I sit waiting for the second version. The lady in charge of the recruitment then calls me and tells me she needs me to do a short trial. I'm like wtf but since I have no other choice (since i'm already committed to this job - I cancelled other interviews for it, yes big mistake) I do it. It goes fine. Several days later I send a mail asking what's up and I get the second version of the contract - finally all seems fine. Well no ! 5 day later I get a mail about how they still decided not to hire me. This is the worst way shape and form I've ever been treated in my entire life and while it's been several weeks I'm still enraged about it. I don't mind rejections much but this : acceptance, you're amazing , rejection, acception, rejection cycle just raped my self-esteem. It's a tremendous lack of respect and the employer doesn't care even a little bit about me and is gonna get away with it without ANY repercussions, while I'm here miserable having wasted several weeks and with a hole in my self-esteem on top of negative feelings about employers in general (which is not gonna help). I've never been an evil corporations guys and I'm fine with basic survival shit like not answering to candidates who you're not interested with. But going back on your word like that is just too much it's such a lack of integrity it's totaly proposterous. Thus I'm having feelings of rage I don't quite know what to do with and would like some help/insights with my situation. Thanks
  7. I still can't grasp my head around the idea of the law of attraction. Like it's such a bad design : if whatever I think come trues it also means that me believing law of attraction doesn't work - will make it fail ? So since I believe that it's too good to be true, it's gonna be too good to be true and there is nothing that can make me change that belief ? Because I truly believe I cannot make it work in my favour So to some extent I'm completely lost on that issue because I do not believe that I can make anything happen with positive thinking. At least not on that scale. It's horrible. I'd love any help/tips with this.
  8. Wait I just realized - it's awareness or more like literaly nothing. That's a very great question to ask.
  9. I have several points I need to throw in this debate for anyone to understand : 1) You cannot be higher than a stage you're judgmental about. So if you are judgmental about stage orange pickup you clearly have not integrated it. There is nothing wrong with casual sex - also notice how labeling sex as "casual" makes it sound bad ? Typical stage blue I might as well say that semi irregular sex is bad, like sleeping with someone only on monday's is very very bad. Please don't. You'll go straight to hell. If you can't get something you want you might as well call it bad, it's a great survival classic. 2) Green builds on top of orange. There is a lot of talk about how "greeeeen or yellow" girls are all into this emotionnal connection which means that "they'll like me because I'm needy because I'm giving them all my romance and deep needy intimacy they all want" Nope. You need to understand that completely integrated yellow is VERY rare, as well as green, and in every case the people involved will have their own preferences and will not ignore their survival agenda and biology, things that may seem like they respond to """orange""" value tactics because they still have a good deal of integration to go trough. Being a vegan hippie or socialist doesn't mean you're at green and will like someone based on his ability to provide deep intimacy. Like huuuge general statements about other members are completely proposterous : Who told you 1 night stands cannot have deep emotionnal connection ? How do you know what they like and what they don't ? Maybe casual sex doesn't even exist in their reality and any sex is always beautiful no matter the time shape or form ? Also I'm quite sure they won't look down on people who are having so called "casual" sex just because they have their own personnal preferences.
  10. The deal is it's never gonna be like that in real life. Like you've surely had a girlfriend tell you a story along the lines " oh I just met this nice guy and we had great chemistry and we went for drinks and now we've been dating for 3 months and it's great". If an attractive guy is suddently talking to you you're not gonna be like "omg I have to run I am a pick up target" You're just gonna tell yourself a story oh I randomly met a cute guy while going out yesterday or during my lectures and that's it. The story of how you met your boyfriend is not gonna be : oh well he had to train for several years before he approached me (and it was the 51 first girls he talked to that night) and we got a great connection because he actually spent time working on his social skills and not being a complete looser. Duh. Becoming attractive has nothing to do with the creepy examples the media LOVES to throw at you !
  11. It's completely backwards. It's not rational and a girl is never thinking oh I choose this because it's gonna make me happy. The sex is good BECAUSE there is a value gain on her part. The financial support, taking her out on dinner or vacation does nothing. If she likes you, financial support is gonna be nice and if she sees no value in you it's gonna be creepy like oh he's trying to buy me what a looser. Exactly the same. If she likes you it doesn't matter ! She's gonna rationalize it! Plenty of people hate gays and they have loving wifes If she likes you she's just gonna think : " oh he's so cute when he's watching footbal", "great I love someone who is ambitious and wants to make a lot of money" "yeah whatever gays aren't great anyways" Yes she won't care. How she views that will be based on whatever she feels and the value she sees in you.
  12. @electroBeam Honestly everyone will project crazy stories on top of you interpretation which will only muddy the waters. The core dynamic is broken and it only means you didn't provide enough value in terms of fitting to her survival needs. That's why she slowly got rid of you. It has nothing to do with not being similar do not even believe that for a second. That's a complete lie. Get better with women in general and stop overthinking it. It's that easy.
  13. It's more of a light read but I really liked Marie Cardinal's " Les mots pour le dire" at some point during my therapy. She had quite some mother issues and her story could give you some comfort
  14. This is exactly what tripping on mushrooms does for me so you're 100% mistaken. Don't forget that tripping is extremely personnal and I'm somehow advanced when it comes to personnal development. Feel inspired about what's possible and work on yourself. People have way crazied trip reports than mine.
  15. @Anna1 Actually I've just had an epiphany while reading Meetjeoblack. It's not about the women. Culturally having a family/partner (w/e it's stage orange or blue) is an extremely important. At stage blue family + great job/status is like 99% of your survival. And since we are an underevolved species we are deadly when your survival is threatened. There is no decency when your survival is at stake at those stages. (and maybe even after I need direct experience for turquoise :p). No one is hating women directly : people are simply hating the fact that other people are severly threatening their own suvival. It's just the cruel dynamics of survival that are playing out in romantic relationships. If we had way more genders we would still all hate each others in varying degrees. Like we do with cultures