Lynnel

I've been thinking about how apps can be very useful for your overall productivity and in life in general. What apps are you using the most often ? Do you have any good calendar apps to recommend for android/pc ? I feel this infrastructe aspect is quite underdiscussed here and it might be quite useful.

You can't be serious. The whole problem with this mindset in case it was not obvious is that you cannot treat women as a fucking RESSOURCE. Nor men. Nor human beings in general. This is exactly the issue with excessive materialistic orange which will view women/men like a pieces of meat with a certain market value disregarding pretty much everything else and the most important parts such as connection and personality traits. You need to stop equating people to a certain "value" parameter and decomposing their personnality according to that. Viewing someone according to his "value" on the "sexual market" is one very biased lens which when pushed to the extreme leads to nonsense like this. For instance, regardless of "value" a lot of people are not compatible and would never be happy together. Meanwhile, money is always money - and you can always buy a piece of bread with money to feed yourself. It's a completely different matter. To anyone reading this : stop mentally masturbating to crazy sociale equality theories that would land you free sex, go out, get laid, and outgrow stage orange.

I mean, I can somehow understand where the guy is coming from. The video was amazing, but when Teal listed all of the possibles actions you would need to undertake to create containment for a woman, I thought to myself, good heavens, I'm not certain there exists in this universe a woman deserving of such work if you have to do 40+ of those at the same time

I've been wanting to track my sleep lately to have more data to improve upon and was wondering what experiences you had with any of the following : fitbits, oura rings, different sleep trackers such as dreem. What are the pro and cons to each one of those or any other trackers you are using ? Most and foremost I would like to measure the quality of my sleep to optimize that properly so the data has to be as accurate as possible for that purpose. I care less about the sport accuracy measurements and the next most important point after the data accuracy would be the ease of usage, e.g. not to have to charge it every two days, being able to barely notice it, etc. Any suggestions & feedback are very welcome !

I meant that I don't care about the accuracy of the number of steps for instance So for you the data even from an oura ring is not accurate enough to be valuable ?

@Javfly33 Well it's not exactly rocket science. Bottled water will contain microscopic plastic particles because well it's usually in plastic bottles. If you get glass ones, that might be a big plus. Tap water can contain pretty much anything depending on your country. For instance, if you live in an old building, you may have copper/lead pipes, hence having heavy metals in your tap water. Faced with that choice, I would choose microplastics. The best way is to get a RO philter and process your water so it's as clean as possible.

@Snader While not being on the phone and very focused on the experience is very important, which is what the tripsitters are also for, music CAN be extremely helpful. Don't dismiss it for his and your own sake ! For me it creates a very positive background, and for most of my experiences it has helped a great deal. Sometimes, if music gets too overwhelming, I will turn it off and just focus on the experience in complete silence, but I always put it at the start of the trip. So don't ban music right away in the preparation stages Also, I would at least do some yoga and/or a meditation practice, otherwise your friend might not go as deeply and not be able to integrate his experience.

I. Introduction I have been trough many break ups, and I can say for sure that those are the most traumatizing and difficult experiences one has to go in the first world countries. As one of my friend's stated when I asked him for advice, he said : " You know you've been raised in a kinda spoiled environnement if heartbreak is your first issue". I will clarify this later, meanwhile, by break up I mean : loosing someone you had a really strong romantic connection with. (Friendships and other stuff do not count because they are not as intense and the hormonal system is less involved, anyway!) So, first of, before going into the how to "heal" after a break up part, which assumes that you have broken up for whatever reason already, let's go into : II. Why you should break up - How to know when you actually SHOULD break up for your own benefit. 1) You have thoughts about breaking up. Those do not appear randomly. It's normal to have some in a long term relationship but if 3 months in you are thinking about it, it's a good idea to dig deeper into it. 2) Your relationship is dysfonctionnal in any way : your partner poison drips you, you're not on the same page in terms of actualization, you feel like it's toxic, resentment has built up over the years, there is a clear lack of communication, the relationship doesn't fit your needs. 3) You live far away from each other. If you are leaving somewhere for more than 2 weeks and you are under 25, and the relationship isn't that serious and heavy, break up. You'll find someone else. There is NO POINT in torturing yourself for nothing, spending hours and hours for something that will not work out. Long distance relationships have always been a huge mystery for me, because as I said once : You might as well be talking to a clever robot on skype and that would be exactly the same. You don't share real life experiences with the person. Hence, it's pointless. Anyway ! Here comes the tricky part, you don't wanna see this. You don't wanna realize your relationship is shitty and go trough a break up. Because : " I have regular sex, it's comfortable, I'm used to it, yeah he/she is not the most perfect but I'm not gonna go trough the hustle of trying to find someone else, that's too much work, learning pick up or going out with my friends, getting my social skills in check, I'll just stay with him/her and live a comfortable life, etc" Once you've been in a relationship for while, you're used to the comfort and you will sometimes will even agree to undergo abuse just to stay in omeostasis and in comfort, because you hate change. And only when you look back, you realize how toxic your past relationships were. 4) If overall the whole situation is messed up, someone cheated on someone else, etc, so on and so forth. I'm not gonna list this for ages, simply : be honest with yourself and don't try to hold on and stay comfortable. III. How To break up and When to break up. Once you made the decision, do not be soft. I repeat, this is extremely key : DO NOT BE SOFT. See them only once, and talk about it. Exchange any belongings if needed, and give them a strict deadline to move out, but otherwise, CUT THEM FROM YOUR LIFE FOREVER. Until the end of times. If they go full drama on you and wanna fix stuff, and you feel like you can't handle it, simply RUN AWAY and never talk to them again. This may sound horrible, but once their ego is hurt, they are not on your side. When someone feels hurt, they will try to damage you as much as humanly possible so you stay and regret your decision. Do not get caught up in that toxic crap and RUN AWAY if needed. Cut all ties with the person, burn all the boats, explode all the bridges. Forever and as fast as you can. There is no coming back. Block them from anywhere, cut ties with any friends you have in common, blacklist their number and cut all contact forever. There is nothing worst that spending months in pointless breaking up drama and when finally it's over you're even more destroyed and lack ressources to rebuild yourself. Also, for common courtesy, please avoid breaking up during exams for college students, important project deadlines, at family events, birthdays, and stuff like that. Do not be soft, but also stay human and humble. This is most likely someone you loved and they deserve respect and being treated correctly no matter what. IV. Healing after a break up. First steps : learn to sing decently so you don't drive your flatmates mad and put this video on repeat : As Teal Swan stated, singing helps the nerve which is linked to the heart part. You are gonna feel HORRIBLE PAIN for several days, sometimes even a week, near your heart/ heart shakra area. You need to survivre trough it. The pain will be horrible, but avoid numbing it too much. No alcohol, no drugs. All you have to do now is not falling into a depressive state, don't become addicted, and simply cope with the pain as best as you can. I'd recommend even going to Church if it helps. Find anything non addictive that will boost your emotionnal state. After a while, the physical pain will kinda dissapear, but the emotionnal pain will remain. You are still gonna be feeling discomfort, but here are some videos that will help you : So, to get past the reactive, coping stage, you have to : 1) Start believing you can overcome it. Hope and believe. A lot. For this, know that you are not alone. And watch as MUCH break up videos as possible. Also realize, that only good things are gonna come out of this. And your next relationship is gonna be only better. 2) Get rid of the GHOST MEMORIES syndrome. This is by far the most annoying shit on earth. Your brain is gonna bombard you with memories. Oh hello there, remember that time when...Sometimes when you enter your own bathroom your brain is gonna be like : REMEMBER , SHE WAS THERE. Avoid places that remind you of your past partner. 3) Look up content on handling emotions and practice that a lot. I recommend Teal Swan, once more. When a memory comes up, get rid of the charged emotion that comes with it, and it shall make you free. 4) Get in touch with your inner problems. Work with : - Your self-esteem - Self- Love, which is extremely key because you will feel unloved at first. - Self-worth And whathever other stuff you find usefull. Self-actualize a lot. 5) Make changes in your life : - Practice a sport - Drink green tea => Get rid of the biological attachement to the other person, cleanse your body. 6) Do not immediatly start doing pick up and don't try to find someone else. You will only attract people that are in the same emotionnal state and that will result only in bad rebound relationships. Trying to cope with pain this way is extremely counter-productive and will only result in worsening your condition. V. Raising to the stars. Once the physical pain stops, will come a new stage. The stage where you will use the emotionnal leverage to get your shit together. Here, we will go from being reactive, to being active and striving for a better life and a better future. Here, to motivate you a bit : And : You will have insane amounts of leverage, so after a week or so : You can start doing pick up (again :D) and having some casual sex. Also pick up new good habits, start meditating, invest yourself in your work, do all the shit you've been trying to do but never dared to, expand your social circle, etc. And of course, put in the work. The pain is gonna burn trough the layers of your ego and you're gonna become more pure. Enjoy it. And proactively seek out opportunies to do more self-actualization work And in no time, you will be like : VII Last Words. If you're still unsure whether you should break up or not, ask yourself " If I were a knight, would I stay in the same village for the rest of my life, or Would I go on and explore what's arround, fight epic battles, and reach my potential ? " I choose to do so. And It payed off. If you ever feel seriously desperate, remember Eckhart Tolle : This too shall pass. I've broken up with my 1 year gf and immediatly try to geet with another girl who rejected me, and I was left with nothing. I rebuild everything for scratch and it was the best year of my entire life. I really hope it will work out for you and open up great opportunities. Also, as my friend stated : Being in pain is a luxery. Some people don't have enough money to eat, and you're here bitching about heartbreak. Do not deny your pain and don't feel shame for it, but also put it in it's context. It feels like the end of the world, but it's not. You are simply...fragile. Read antifragile by Nessim Taleb to get more info on that topic. This is kinda true. Remember to appreciate what you have in life and all the great opportunities. If you are still really young, such as below 25, do not worry much about break ups. In five years from now, hell, even 1 year from now It won't even matter anymore. Best of luck and feel free to ask any questions !

So I've been doing the practice explained in Leo's secret book for around 2 months and a half now. Here is the list of difficulties I have encountered and I would really like any tips on them. I'd also like to check that I'm doing everything properly. I am currently stuck at the lesson ten : maha mudra. I've been doing the first kriya pranayama for 1 solid month. Hence I'm doing the page 102 routine daily in the morning. The book has been fascinating so far. This question was partially answered by Leo's video but I used to disregard the concentration at the end of practice because I'm doing some SDS and tatraka on the side and now I realize it's a big mistake, but how impartant really are those concentration minutes at the end of the session ? Can I expect some practical results such as subconscious cleansing etc ? Is the nadi shodana a Inhale 6-10 wait 3 exhale fully => inhale 6-10 wait 3 exhale fully from the other nostril mean that the inhale seconds have to be the same on both sides ? Do I need to close my eyes and look at brumadhya or not while I'm at it. How can I be sure I'm doing Om Japa properly ? I have trouble visualizing when focusing my eyes upward on brumadya and I'm virtually touching each shakra and feeling it in my spine but I'm having trouble because I can't let go of the breath. I have to either hold it in or exhale when chanting Ooom because otherwise the chanting will stop inside my head => I can't separate it mentaly from the breath. Next, for the frist kriya pranayama. I am supposed to keep the eyes focused on brumaduya, my focus on medulla, and ALSO visualize at the same time and also count to x on inhale because it has to be exactly the same as the exhale ! Where the fuck am I supposed to get such attention ?! I've been doing concentration time meditation for almost 2 years daily and I can't still fantom how to manage this. So what should I pay attention to ? Also one of the problems I have with the first kriya pranayma is that I'm not sure I'm visualizing it properly. I visualize some sort of blue energy and try to feel the coldness on inhale going up on the spine and then a red hot flow going down up to muladhara. And the most annoying problem of all which is shortness of breath : I being to lack oxygen when I'm doing the first kriya for too long with the 10 sec pause 10 exhale cycle. I have to inhale/exhale very slowly and my body starts to lack oxygen which is very annoying. This is the reason I can't do the maha mudra because you need to inhale for 10 seconds, then chant mentally at least 6 times, and on exhale I would lack oxygen everytime and just grasp for air ! (And also I'm not flexible enough because I got huge ass muscular calves to do the pose properly). Aside from that I love the practice and It feels very amazing on a psychological level. I laughed when Leo said " yeah you can master those techniques those are fairly simple" yeah . I'm quite serious about this practice which can be seen based on my love for detail. @Leo Gura Any clever guidance would be appreciated.

@Michael569 What's your opinion on things like Chlorella for detox then ?

It's something I like about Actualized.org - there is just nothing to build a coherent spiritual identity from. You can't become an actualizer or a Leo Gurian - The teaching is so high level that you can't just limit it to some concrete elements. In a sense, you managed to make us inherently less ideological about our development.

@Serotoninluv I've been loving your responses since I'm trying to grow a bit more into yellow. Now that I think of it it's completely true and it's very important to consider.

You're gonna resonate with this since you're in academia : there was a TT position in Canada which was open only to women/minorities/handicaped people. I'm strictly against that : comittees should be balanced sure, but they shouldn't be aware of the gender of the candidate and only consider him based on his/her/their prior academic achievements. Giving someone a job they're less qualified for because of their gender or because you need to look like a progressive university is a no-no in my book.

Excuse me but how in the world did you come to those conclusions ? Yes it sounds coherent on paper but how would anything you consume amplify resonance with a certain spiral dynamic stage ? Isn't that too far-stretched ?

You're slightly incorrect. Some combinations between psychedelics and some SSRI for instance can simply lead to death regqrdless of the dose. A very solid guideline is not to mix psychedelics with anything at all. I know it may sound like a petty remark but I can't stress enough the importance of safety whilst using psychedelics for anyone reading this

The idea behind my opinion is more complex : yes obviously age is a factor but "you're too old" can also be used to get rid of you if you're not attractive. So if he assumes it doesn't matter it won't bother him and obviously reality will strike and sometimes it will truly matter but at least he won't fail by thinking he's too old when he actually wasn't Overall we have to see on a case per case basis. It's very hard to have absolute statements for such things.

Warning : There is gonna be a little venting and strong language because I'm quite angry but please bear with me (and mods please be comprehensive). Also for the love of god please avoid one sentence unhelpful responses with kindergarden advice. I've been looking for a job since november which is extremely hard even in a civilized western country because I lack experience. Employers feel so risk averse I sometimes think it's the great depression or a wallstreet crash - with the slightest mishap if you don't have much experience they all start rationalizing it negatively. Anyways. Back to my story. I've gotten a great first interview. Then a second one. In total I met 7 people from the company, totaly nailed both interviews. The HR offered me the job and send me a first version of the contract. All good right ? Nope. I go on negociating the contract, it goes perfectly fine and I sit waiting for the second version. The lady in charge of the recruitment then calls me and tells me she needs me to do a short trial. I'm like wtf but since I have no other choice (since i'm already committed to this job - I cancelled other interviews for it, yes big mistake) I do it. It goes fine. Several days later I send a mail asking what's up and I get the second version of the contract - finally all seems fine. Well no ! 5 day later I get a mail about how they still decided not to hire me. This is the worst way shape and form I've ever been treated in my entire life and while it's been several weeks I'm still enraged about it. I don't mind rejections much but this : acceptance, you're amazing , rejection, acception, rejection cycle just raped my self-esteem. It's a tremendous lack of respect and the employer doesn't care even a little bit about me and is gonna get away with it without ANY repercussions, while I'm here miserable having wasted several weeks and with a hole in my self-esteem on top of negative feelings about employers in general (which is not gonna help). I've never been an evil corporations guys and I'm fine with basic survival shit like not answering to candidates who you're not interested with. But going back on your word like that is just too much it's such a lack of integrity it's totaly proposterous. Thus I'm having feelings of rage I don't quite know what to do with and would like some help/insights with my situation. Thanks

Yeah I learned my lesson Thanks for the support everyone ! See you arround

Maybe you've never met an attractive guy who was older ? Either way you can't assume it's the case for everyone and while he can do nothing about his age he can work and should work on his social skills.

Unless you are very well calibrated this is a hard no. If you look even slightly creepy those questions are gonna create anxiety in her mind about her possible safety. That's why she avoided answering in the first place. Don't. Also for the love of god don't train on random girls in your neighbourhood - go out to bars and clubs and upgrade your skills there. Don't worry age has mostly nothing to do with this - your social skills do. Best of luck

In America maybe, but here we have a more chill culture + it was a average sized company. Like I totaly expected companies to be dicks and devils. But not to that extent. Lesson learned, I guess. Thanks for you comment though I felt a bit better I've already done the life purpose course and I'm still figuring it out. Negotiation is a soft skill and I accepter the contract as is, because since I have no revelant work experience I have no grounds to negotiate on. Altough I got promises of a raise within x months - which was great. Like this wasn't a negotiation problem. Companies always give you a lower amount expecting you to negotiate after. They didn't hire me so I have no one to leave Thank you Robert. Some nuance is needed : I only negotiated to have a raise later if I were to improve my skills enough. And I got that written in the second version of the contract. But I told them I was willing to take the contract as is. Yes I do underestand that employer have no decency at all - it's all survival and I hold no value in their eyes they don't bother considered me as a human being. I do disagree with that because I hope as we get more green we actually get some decency in the corporate world. Usually, if you make an offer here it's pretty official, once you make an offer you do not go back unless you go bankcrupt or a disaster happens. It's a dick move. I've checked with everyone I know they were pretty shocked. So no, did not expect them to accept the small changes I asked for and I don't think that was the issue in the end.

I still can't grasp my head around the idea of the law of attraction. Like it's such a bad design : if whatever I think come trues it also means that me believing law of attraction doesn't work - will make it fail ? So since I believe that it's too good to be true, it's gonna be too good to be true and there is nothing that can make me change that belief ? Because I truly believe I cannot make it work in my favour So to some extent I'm completely lost on that issue because I do not believe that I can make anything happen with positive thinking. At least not on that scale. It's horrible. I'd love any help/tips with this.

Wait I just realized - it's awareness or more like literaly nothing. That's a very great question to ask.

I have several points I need to throw in this debate for anyone to understand : 1) You cannot be higher than a stage you're judgmental about. So if you are judgmental about stage orange pickup you clearly have not integrated it. There is nothing wrong with casual sex - also notice how labeling sex as "casual" makes it sound bad ? Typical stage blue I might as well say that semi irregular sex is bad, like sleeping with someone only on monday's is very very bad. Please don't. You'll go straight to hell. If you can't get something you want you might as well call it bad, it's a great survival classic. 2) Green builds on top of orange. There is a lot of talk about how "greeeeen or yellow" girls are all into this emotionnal connection which means that "they'll like me because I'm needy because I'm giving them all my romance and deep needy intimacy they all want" Nope. You need to understand that completely integrated yellow is VERY rare, as well as green, and in every case the people involved will have their own preferences and will not ignore their survival agenda and biology, things that may seem like they respond to """orange""" value tactics because they still have a good deal of integration to go trough. Being a vegan hippie or socialist doesn't mean you're at green and will like someone based on his ability to provide deep intimacy. Like huuuge general statements about other members are completely proposterous : Who told you 1 night stands cannot have deep emotionnal connection ? How do you know what they like and what they don't ? Maybe casual sex doesn't even exist in their reality and any sex is always beautiful no matter the time shape or form ? Also I'm quite sure they won't look down on people who are having so called "casual" sex just because they have their own personnal preferences.

The deal is it's never gonna be like that in real life. Like you've surely had a girlfriend tell you a story along the lines " oh I just met this nice guy and we had great chemistry and we went for drinks and now we've been dating for 3 months and it's great". If an attractive guy is suddently talking to you you're not gonna be like "omg I have to run I am a pick up target" You're just gonna tell yourself a story oh I randomly met a cute guy while going out yesterday or during my lectures and that's it. The story of how you met your boyfriend is not gonna be : oh well he had to train for several years before he approached me (and it was the 51 first girls he talked to that night) and we got a great connection because he actually spent time working on his social skills and not being a complete looser. Duh. Becoming attractive has nothing to do with the creepy examples the media LOVES to throw at you !