Is It Ok To Touch On The Shoulder A Woman I Find Attractive?

[SQAAD]

Today, i spoke to a beautiful woman. The conversation went fine. But as we were about to leave.. i touched her super briefly on the shoulder... 

She didn't seem to be bothered by it.. But later i was thinking maybe.. this was not the best move to make.. because i know that this move is good for creating friendships and i don't want her to view me as just another friend..

Any thoughts???

Edited November 26, 2023 by SQAAD

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, SQAAD said:

Today, i spoke to a beautiful woman. The conversation went fine. But as we were about to leave.. i touched her super briefly on the shoulder... 

She didn't seem to be bothered by it.. But later i was thinking maybe.. this was not the best move to make.. because i know that this move is good for creating friendships and i don't want her to view me as just another friend..

Any thoughts???

Seriously?? Overthinking is a bitch. The egoic mind is good at self-sabotaging. Many guys can't even get to hold a nice conversation but you're worried about a touch on the shoulder. 

Think about it, can't you see how our minds can fucking destroy us if we let it. It tries to keep us safe but ends up limiting us instead. Save your thinking energy for real problems to solve and limit the amount of stories you place behind every experience. Just allow. 

[Schizophonia]

No, everything is fine, it’s even a manly attitude. It's not like you put a hand up his ass or acted like a jerk.
 

Well, if you don’t want to be friendzoned you just need to advance your agenda in a subtle but concrete way until you reach the “gray area of benefit of the doubt”. If she refuses advances like an invitation and/or becomes more "curt" you will know that she understands and is trying to get the message across to you. It's obviously the same the other way around unless the girl is particularly naive/stupid, in which case it's not your fault, obviously.

Edited November 26, 2023 by Schizophonia

[MarkKol]

bro you can touch her hair, arms, back, and shoulders all you want. Depending on how smooth you are you can also touch her face and hips.

I must say I love touching most girls my age in a cool non-hostile, non-creepy way, to the point where It's a little obnoxious, and I can't contain myself. 

You can go like "What's that bracelet you're wearing and grab her by the arm to look at it" Gently, you should already be close to her.

If you approach her with @Schizophonia's facial expression she will probably leave. So smooth.

Edited November 26, 2023 by MarkKol

[Princess Arabia]

15 minutes ago, MarkKol said:

bro you can touch her hair, arms, back, and shoulders all you want. Depending on how smooth you are you can also touch her face and hips.

I must say I love touching most girls my age in a cool non-hostile, non-creepy way, to the point where It's a little obnoxious, and I can't contain myself. 

You can go like "What's that bracelet you're wearing and grab her by the arm to look at it" Gently, you should already be close to her.

If you approach her with @Schizophonia's facial expression she will probably leave. So smooth.

No you can't touch her hair, arms, back and shoulders all you want, nor her face and hips, ALL YOU WANT. He's speaking of someone he just met and had a casual conversation with for the first time. If you're speaking of a gf.or someone you've slept with already, maybe yes, and that still depends on the circumstances. 

He mentioned her shoulder. That's fine. Any man touches my hair, hips or face that I just met without my concent, I will have a problem with. 

A tap on the shoulder.is a different story. We have to respect people's boundaries; and until we know who they are and what they're ok with on a.physical level, it's best to stay clear and use proper judgement. Of course, not everyone will take offense but it's not about "all you want". 

[Schizophonia]

33 minutes ago, MarkKol said:

 

If you approach her with @Schizophonia's facial expression she will probably leave. So smooth.

Fake 

10 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

No you can't touch her hair, arms, back and shoulders all you want, nor her face and hips, ALL YOU WANT. He's speaking of someone he just met and had a casual conversation with for the first time. If you're speaking of a gf.or someone you've slept with already, maybe yes, and that still depends on the circumstances. 

He mentioned her shoulder. That's fine. Any man touches my hair, hips or face that I just met without my concent, I will have a problem with. 

A tap on the shoulder.is a different story. We have to respect people's boundaries; and until we know who they are and what they're ok with on a.physical level, it's best to stay clear and use proper judgement. Of course, not everyone will take offense but it's not about "all you want". 

It depends a lot on the culture you live in.
 

[Raze]

No, it’s best to touch her hands, if you touch her arms or shoulders it’s more likely to make her nervous. A hand touch however increases closeness and possibly interest.

Edited November 26, 2023 by Raze

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

Fake 

It depends a lot on the culture you live in.
 

You're probably right about that. Just like how people bow to certain things as a sign of respect. So I understand your point. Even extending your hand out to a woman first to shake it is considered a no no in certain cultures. She should initiate it first. But that's kinda outdated. So, depending on your culture, yes. But on a general scale, we need to be aware of how we physically touch people we just met and don't really know on a personal level. 

I personally don't see anything wrong with a tap on the shoulder, though. I do that with people all the time if I see where they dropped something or to bring their attention to something. There's a reason for common sense and using judgement.

 

[SQAAD]

@Princess Arabia

17 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Seriously?? Overthinking is a bitch.

I suffer from underthinking ^_-

17 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

The egoic mind is good at self-sabotaging. Many guys can't even get to hold a nice conversation but you're worried about a touch on the shoulder. 

Thank you for the encouraging words 

[Yimpa]

Tho shalt not touch the shoulder.

Who the fuck came up with that rule?

[Yimpa]

Touching is not the issue, it is the intention behind the touching that will make or break the relationship.

These specific strategies on how to make a girl like you more than a friend are silly. You cannot force someone to love you. Well, you can, but that type of love will be very limited and conditional.

Accessing telepathic love cannot be learned through human means.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

Touching is not the issue, it is the intention behind the touching that will make or break the relationship.

These specific strategies on how to make a girl like you more than a friend are silly. You cannot force someone to love you. Well, you can, but that type of love will be very limited and conditional.

Accessing telepathic love cannot be learned through human means.

You cannot force anyone to love you..Period. Human's love is conditional and limited anyway. What is telepathic love, may.i ask.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

Tho shalt not touch the shoulder.

Who the fuck came up with that rule?

The human's delusional mind.

Edited November 27, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Yimpa]

40 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

What is telepathic love, may.i ask.

Depends on who you ask. 

But, from my few experiences, it’s a love so deep that you literally realize that they are precisely you. There are different degrees to this. Turning the dial all the way up basically erases all your human stories and ideas, yet somehow, someway, this love is in perfect balance.

I’ve only had glimpses of it, so it’s not my default state. And no human can sustain it anyway. It is beyond human.

[Princess Arabia]

6 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Depends on who you ask. 

But, from my few experiences, it’s a love so deep that you literally realize that they are precisely you. There are different degrees to this. Turning the dial all the way up basically erases all your human stories and ideas, yet somehow, someway, this love is in perfect balance.

I’ve only had glimpses of it, so it’s not my default state. And no human can sustain it anyway. It is beyond human.

Ok

[Yimpa]

To take it back to a human level, humans are not always delusional. You can still work on mastering human emotions and connection. Don’t neglect your humanity. It’s still vital towards holistic growth and development. 

Mastering human emotions doesn’t mean you’re only focusing on all rainbow and sunshine. Best to learn to love the ugly emotions as well.

And just because you start off as friends doesn’t mean that it can’t develop into something more. Conversely, a romantic relationship can turn into a friendship.

Finally, see a person as a whole rather than just their parts. A shoulder is a tiny aspect of the whole person.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

To take it back to a human level, humans are not always delusional. You can still work on mastering human emotions and connection. Don’t neglect your humanity. It’s still vital towards holistic growth and development. 

Mastering human emotions doesn’t mean you’re only focusing on all rainbow and sunshine. Best to learn to love the ugly emotions as well.

And just because you start off as friends doesn’t mean that it can’t develop into something more. Conversely, a romantic relationship can turn into a friendship.

Finally, see a person as a whole rather than just their parts. A shoulder is a tiny aspect of the whole person.

It's not about loving ugly emotions, it's seeing them for what they are. There are no good or bad emotions, just emotions. Which is just energy in motion. Detach from ALL emotions. They are just passing through. No need to love or dislike them. 

[Jannes]

You need experience with physical escalation. I am really unexperienced with it as well which is why even a move like this could come accross as awkward. It should be casual/ natural/ not a big deal. Start with less sensitive body parts like the arms or also the shoulders and see how she reacts. 

[Yimpa]

6 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

It's not about loving ugly emotions, it's seeing them for what they are. There are no good or bad emotions, just emotions. Which is just energy in motion. Detach from ALL emotions. They are just passing through. No need to love or dislike them. 

You can simultaneously be detached and connected. It’s not either or.

[Princess Arabia]

21 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

You can simultaneously be detached and connected. It’s not either or.

Sure but one is delusion. Which is OK, if you want to play the game from that angle.