Optimized Life

I got 7+ hours for 2 days and its back again I am stuck awake until 4-4.30AM again and i am sleeping 4-6 hours again I am very concerned this is never going to end U can cheat diet, u can smoke, drink abit ect.. consequences are marginal or gradual U cannot cheat sleep over the long term, and the damage shows up fast too I am losing my looks, my skin, my vitality, the glow in my eyes, i will lose my hair, i am losing ahtletic function, i will have mood disorders and anger problems if this continues long enough, i will not be able to compete in business against people who are in good health, i may barely even be able to pay my bills Gym recovery is far slower, i will lose muscle, and who knows if i'll even be able to exercise anymore as this will become my last depserate priority I will lose everything if i dont solve this And given what my baseline is, and given i am pretty young still (not 60) This is hard to tolerate I will lose my productivity I dont even get to be awake during the day .. Trust me i have tried everything for months If this doesnt get solved i am going to kill myself I cannot be anyone im not I cannot be tired, i cannot live with it, i cannot be unproductive, i cannot just lose my looks like this This is tragic, like i said the only one thing u must never lose in life is sleep, continous sleep is the number one lever that decays your entire body I have a couple months to find a solution or im going to kill myself. I will not quit yet but after a certain point when ive tried everything what am i supposed to do? ... just suffer and accept it like some bitch? No i have a standard that i have for myself across everything based on the strong genetics i was given and i am not dropping below that standard, i cannot live with it, i was blessed with so much talent in virtually everywhere area imaginable, intellectual, athletic, physical appearance, personality, charisma, energy, and now its just being taken away from me like this? u expect me to just live with that fuck you Maybe i need much stronger but also higher quality weed, i dunno i cant resort to addictive and toxic benzodiazpine or sleeping pills, maybe the last resort for me is ultra sedating, high quality, high potency indica weed and maybe a lot of CBD added in, if i can even find it, if only i lived in California then i could just source that inmediately, it is also expensive but nothing is more expensive than health decay I have to use Te i guess, i have to consider every variable I currently drink tea and these teabags contain microplastics - for example that is one variable But my caffiene consumption is low, intentionally low and it doesnt help, i used to abuse caffiene and still sleep enough, now i have 1-2 teas max by about 12pm, it is very unlikely this is causing it, im even extra tired because there is still residue caffiene withdrawal I just have to use a sheet tracker simple and track the variables, every day, exhausting and sloppy to do it in my head Maybe i should buy an aura ring, but again so expensive, but again maybe just goodbye to all my capital again, maybe i have to sell everythign and throw everything at this before i kill myself There are so many variables, this is not simple I can only use Te and iteration There has to be Te and tracking and iteration, or i will feel like a victim and not know whats going on Maybe i have to quit finasteride maybe i am in the 5% of people who experience side effects, although DHT sepression it wouldnt be expected to influence sleep as it isnt related to the same system imo, but again, "What do i really know about anything" If i come out of this healthy and recovered though i will count it a blessing, but only if i solve it Either i die or i come out of this a lot more grateful for my body and my life Probably i will never have any fear or anxiety about anything trivial again, i will never be desperate for money or pussy again, i will just be eternally grateful for being alive and healthy, i will probably be a much stronger person, i will probably be impossible to manipulate, i will probably have a profound work ethic, energy and motivation, if i can just solve this, i will never take anything for granted again, its like going to jail and being released and seeing your freedom like air, but the health version of this. I am a strange person and most people would not benefit from this, most people just want to work a lame job and watch TV and reproduce with any random woman fit in and avoid all their fears and be safe lol, but i am not wired like most people

Landscaping, Plants, Gardening & decorative art This will be new passion hobbie of mine Requires money, space, land, time and energy once i can buy a spacious house and garden i will start doing this I will learn a lot about nature, natural science, chemistry, technology, art ect.. Not merely gardening, but all forms of design and decoration, lighting, painting ect.. This will be cool af I also like the ocean and want to own jet ski or motor boat

My tolerance to THC has become so high its now a futile compulsive activity No pleasure, not even noticeable sedation or relaxation anymore It is just money and energy burning ritual at this point Has just become a meaningless, pleasureless autopilot habit And how boring would it be if i pulled a cool liberal chick or met some new friends who wanted to smoke up, in like some fucking tropical forest and i just didnt feel anything in that moment ... Everything has its time and place, smoking alone constantly is super lame and i knew this but tbh it was just a desperate response to chronic insomnia Still i completely forgot about and underestimated how powerful tolerance is with weed, and tolerance like this makes it extremely expensive because i'd have to reload 3-5x/week and still not get much out of it, then i'd also have to smoke a lot of carinogen just to get a fraction of the effect too so its unhealthy i will leave it for a month so i can enjoy it ritualistically again

Another night, Smoked another blunt to numb the stress and the pain Another night but no more i feel the same Insomnia down but still sleep late Te, structure, goals, waking up early I think insomnia going now i have nothing to blame I think i need Te again Clarity, note book & pen, schedulling on sundays Meaningful big goals but specifics, measured, Deadline Move x y date z in bank Also input based goals/standards, aided by sunday time schedule Output goals for the energy, motivation and dreaming LOA & deadlines, pressure make diamond Input goals for grounding to reality, ensuring consistency, clear cause & effect progression, trackable self honest daily momentum and using the principle of minimum standards (not, "I would like to do x 3 hours per day but, doing x y amount per day is a hygiene standard, with no days off) Time structure that frames every day, organized and mechanistic machine ENTP Ofc daily checklist/review for input goals, especially simple task box icon checklist Lets do this, build leverage i turn the crank Yeah I wanna brake the bank Insomnia going down getting back into professionalism I need a tailored old money suit to wear Introspective me is over for now, I am now mechanistic old money suit wearing money machine psychopath. Marketing sales leverage skills learning communication human psychology charisma energy mood vocal projection professionalism room setup technology superfast wifi capital engineering Transcripts reviews, SRS repetition mastery drills 14H work days SMT goals deadlines visualization mediation Optimizing immersion studying practicing applications networking content personal brand 8-12H sleep recovery, Juicing celery juice quality meat 30K months 8s 9s and 10s focus vibrancy energy success

I want so much money it overflows it frightening Weatherman make it rain but all this capital i make lightning Corporate charm but i know im a warrior im a Viking Core tennet of game is marry the game dont chase the fame, Notice the bad luck and pray but only find yourself to blame, Same time elevate and dont fall to shame, guilt is a cancer that shit only inflame I keep vaping is it heavy metals that going to my brain Can I even feel the stress in my veins? same shit another night i smoked a blunt to heal the pain But im still logical and sain, i should quits the carcinogens and just mediate away

Yeahh, stress from my feet through my head Its medical, not recreational as I lift this blunt on my bed These are the rawest flows dont call me ted, talk no more Only chalk, chalk and flows that I draw I don't promote drugs only greatness, im not a role model but im chosen to be somebody dont mistake this Not just another dude, an ordinary guy with some regular shoes Pleasant and safe, home insurance but no gold in the safe, married a 6 at 30, alimony at 40, Met her through work never learnt to be flirty Never took a risk Always did what his parents think Cosey home and that wine he drinks, with his bored wife who emotionally cheats And denies sex 6 times a week That could never be me That shit make me freeze Only 4 9s, and a dozen palm trees And a 4 by 4 in the cana isles, in fall 30 degrees Only abundance im relentless Even when my family look in my eyes and tell me i cant and i know that they meant it And they know that money I spent it But I know i had to invest it Insomnia life and stress got me restless

Yeah lord im crying for success In public i dont shed a drop But when im alone its starts with a raindrop Always at night Especially after a blunt But in every raindrop is a fire, a fire is lit Yeah a fire is lit noo i wont ever quit Am i waffling or are these bars that I spit I need a dentist i guess i let myself go a bit Yeah a fire is lit noo i wont ever quit Got a family to feed i squeeze the clip (JC) Yeahh a fire is lit have to let go of a bitch Excuse my language but don't misintpret Writing loses its touch when u watter the message, that shit sloppy and wetted Its diluted, feeling polluted I pray for success and i pray for beauty Nonono no more misery One choice no decision tree Find the light no matter how far u have to go, sail the seas if u need because the end result is dope

People who never faced any adversity or something seem to think u can speed run to caring about "consciousness" and spiritual development lol .. You think raw masculinity is a luxury, or even a performance Really its non negotiable We tried being nice, we tried being interesting and open minded and getting into philosophy It doesn't pay the bills It doesn't get pussy And if no one pays the bills and gets good pussy the human race dies off, or only the ugly kids live on

Time to stop talking about women I just have to be professional for a while Build up some true value Time to rest properly and work properly Conservative mind u could call it that Cant full into misery cant fall to copes Depression is slippery its a slope Only work ethic value can carry me its a tote Inputs and delayed gratification yeah i know Have to forgive have to let go Find the gold and the beauty never lose hope Would I feel worse without all these words that I spoke? For the young gold is glitter I suppose Trapped into systemic scams then they lose hope I want a million bands like the pope

Mastery always elevates me a little, Reminds me i dont have to stay little I know im worthy i know got, i know i got immense value dont u belittle Devine source of energy yeah its a skittle

I accidentally quit caffiene and its brutal I had already reduced my intake by 1.5-2X and i still had insomnia (5h) But i just accidentally quit caffiene almost entirely, maybe 0-50mg atm And its accientally brutal I have enough brutality though so its not as noticeable, maybe im just hardened now I feel tension in my knees sort of like an achey, itchy feeling and no im not crying out for sympathy Its not a heroin addiciton lmao But it is dead right unpleasant for a week or maybe more But that im ready for And i've quit the main forum again too There may be some insight but I just know that it will be muddled & mired in shit and weird negativity and bullshit and bias So fuck off all of u Yesterday I slept like 10-12 hours but i have so much debt to reclaim Sleep has become such base maslows need for me rn that id smoke a blunt over any temptation for caffeine even in the day, I need 12 hours a day for 12 days, its debt that god made me pay

This was inauthentic No i will never pretend to be a role model Pretend to be a grounded guy Do i blame my environments for all those times All those times i lost my mind I'm losing my mind A couple bad nights in the wrong places and im losing my mind Barely slept for months im losing my mind No more night game nows not the time Had a good run back then that was then now i need money and peace 30 degrees, flights to Greece Get blow from a 10 i wont need no fake smiles say cheese Private jet, skeet skeet No more fucking mcdonalds only real meat I've been through hell burning 100 degrees No more tragedy no please Success is the only revenge Fuck you im not a role model i wont pretend I'm just the success and ambition guy and im ready to kill, kill hearts with envy, flex them into a frenzy I'm going full savage mode, I'm going war mode Me against the world, on this mission of revenge i wanna find a bitter girl partners in crime, flex on normies with diamonds and trillion $ dimes

This, no one would disagree with But as i was pointing out, leo just saying "stone cold" would confuse a lot of people, especially newbies You can be an adventurous, fun, emotional (in expressiveness) charismatic guy AND be grounded, centered ect.. Im not saying anything new or anything but it is better when these ideas are deconstructed into simple, instantly understood components, rather than using strange terminology from an 80s swarznayger movie

Exactly, its a ridiculous and unheard of way to describe attractive masculinity, no one ever uses this word

You are sometimes bad and imprecise with your ambiguous language and too contradictory. A lot of people will get confused at what you mean and draw the wrong lesson form it. Of people i have seen do well with women, i've rarely ever percieved them as "stone cold", if anything that sounds creepy and unapproachable Being emotionless or "stone cold" doesnt make you mascluine, just boring or creepy. If you already have muscles or height or a masculine face and a deep voice and are confident, it would only hurt your game to try and be "stone cold", it would be much better to add in some softness, approachability, emotion, smile ect.. obviously you still want to be masculine, bold, flirtatious and dominant too ideally , but it a chill, not scary or robotic way, and id argue thats more of a bonus, being approachable and likeable is the first big threshold to cross, i dont think i ever got laid from acting "stone cold" I'm sure you get a lot of things right about attraction in general, but sometimes you really do just suck with your language, it leaves the wrong message. Most truly stone cold men i have noticed are incels or divorced or something, those tough looking central European dudes who live to work and just look scary and tense ..