Harlen Kelly

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Posts posted by Harlen Kelly

  1. Posted

    7 minutes ago, Kambido said:

    Whatever the world is showing me as this should be the standard of beauty and love.. I sometimes forget that i absolutely disagree, and that's okay. Why can't i love a girl that wants to be vampire biting my neck with a middle finger to the world? Why can't i be a middle finger to every idea and find the one that wants the same middle finger? Idk... in this love sense i'm lost, so i may be a foul imagining something that doesn't exist or something, idk. 

    What is the world showing you that should be the standard for beauty? If I am not mistaken, brands use women from all races that are attractive. 

  4. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    On 5/29/2021 at 0:08 AM, Emerald said:

    Actually women tend to get more selective as they get older. Young women generally have much lower standards for what they’ll accept in a partner. They tend to have less of a grasp on their boundaries. This is why they end up falling for low quality guys. 

    But what you call a “beta male provider” is also what I call a higher quality man. That’s a man who has his life together who is good husband material. A man you can actually connect to. 

    So, what you see as a lowering of standards, women see as a raising of standards. 

    The older women get, the more they tend to become disenchanted with unreliable and flighty men. It’s novel when you’re 16-20 but very blah after that.

    Older women are less attractive to men, particularly for the very successful top 10% men, therefore they have less options. 

    They have a smaller range of men to choose from because they are overall less desirable for the vast majority of men, therefore, they are less selective. They might apply selectiveness more rigorously with the options they do have due to experience and maturity. 

    By definition the quality of man older women can attract is significantly lower than the quality of man a youthful, attractive woman can attract because the most prominent attraction trigger for the vast majority of men (particularly men with access to attractive women) is looks and younger women tend to look better than older women. 

    To believe otherwise is denial and deception. 

     

  7. Posted

    5 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

    @Max Green For God's sake, be a strong man at least once in your goddamn life and kick this girl out of your apartment. This is probably one of the reasons she broke up with you, you are a pathetic weak "man",  if she is a feminine woman, this kind of behavior makes her pussy dry as fuck, extremely unattractive, to say the least. It's even disgusting.

    OP has an aversion to masculinity.

  12. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    3 hours ago, tryingToBeBetter said:

    Hey guys, I was wondering if I could get some external perspective on this, especially if you're someone experienced.

    So, long story short, I found Leo's channel some years ago and this man literally changed my life. I went from being a depressive loser to a fairly successful entrepreneur and most importantly, an overall happy person. I even managed to get pretty advanced in consciousness work and had some extremely inspiring and life-changing mystical experiences (with psychedelics and stuff) very similar to the ones Leo describes. If I look back at the person I was before and compare it to the one I'm now, the difference is enormous. There's just one field in which I always seem to get stuck and can't master it enough: getting good with women.

    Don't get me wrong, I *did* get a lot better in this field (at least if we compared to how bad I used to be). I even managed to get a beautiful girlfriend some time ago. But I still can't get to that point of 'feeling confident enough around women'. I still don't feel I'm good at this. And this is a recurrent problem to me since I feel it distracts me from advancing in my spiritual work, it's a 'trauma' that's always been there. It's a field I always wanted to master but couldn't.

    What I'd really love to do is to exhaust this field (as Leo says: 'getting it out of my system') so I can transcend it and move on. But the thing is... it's pretty hard. I'd say it's the hardest sh*t I've ever tried to do. And I *did* achieve some hard stuff in my life, but this is like too much. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I've always been an introvert or what but the amount of anxiety I feel whenever trying to approach *any* stranger is abysmal. (Let alone a pretty girl). I've had some stuff happening with pretty girls in the past but it was mostly luck.

    This may sound silly but it really *is* a problem to me and I'm kind of desperate. I also think it'd be a lot easier if I were able to go to clubs or bars in my city (I can't because of COVID) and trying to do day game is hard man, so HARD. It feels weird and wrong. I start to shake like an idiot whenever I try to approach. I truly feel hopeless and stuck and it's something I really can't discuss with any of my friends. 

    And I have another question. Can you really transcend this? Like, do you get to a point where you got so comfortable around women that you don't really care about all this silly stuff anymore? Because I'd really like to get to that point one day.

    Anyways, that's it. I'd really love some advice. Thanks! 

    Welcome to the forum! There is no easy way to do this, you must expose yourself and interact with women in order to get good at interacting with women. 

    Try doing visualization everyday for 10 minutes, that can help you a lot. 

    What happens after you get good at reliably and consistently attracting beautiful women is that the almost fantastical idea you had of dating beautiful women disappears, it becomes normalized in your brain and it's not a big deal anymore. 

  16. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @Max Green She needs to get a job and get out as soon as possible. The sooner the better. 

    You don't owe her free rent or anything for that matter, and living together in that situation will just create a very toxic dynamic.

    By the way, besides your performance in the bedroom, what really turned her off about you was your lack of respect for yourself and neediness. Take that in consideration for your next relationship. 

  19. Posted

    5 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

    yeah because the post is framed in such a twisted way, it doesn't deserve serious intellectual scrutiny.

    That's not the reason why that person commented ''grow some fucking walls''. That person got triggered due to they way the topic frames women as commodities. Getting triggered and neurotically overreacting is not what particularly smart people do. That's a dull-witted attitude. 

  21. Posted

    @Emerald Suggesting ''just build your own friend group/network'' it's easy to say from my point of view or your point of view. But what about the people who lack the skills to socialize and are starting from zero. 

    There is a fundamental dynamic you are missing in the behavioral patterns of a man with no sex appeal or friends.

    For such a man, he would have to come in contact with or interact with people in order to form connections with them and he would have to develop basic social skills not to drive those people away. This is obvious. 

  22. Posted

    21 minutes ago, Emerald said:

    The biggest problem right now at the societal level that contributes to this is that we live in a very atomized and isolated Stage Orange society, where most people live in their own bubble. And social media has made this a more comfortable bubble to live in. And porn certainly makes this comfort zone more comfortable for men to stay in as well.

    And because relationship to community is the healthy organic way to meet partners, young men who live in such an atomized way may simply miss the opportunity to socialize with friends and potential partners. A young man may have to go out of his way to socialize in ways that his father didn't have to go out of his way for. 

    So, the best solution to this issue on the individual level for the man (as @Etherial Cat said) is to integrate the feminine more which entails being more emotionally aware, more in touch with his instincts/body, and more social which will counter-intuitively make a man more relatable and more attractive to women, as intimacy is only possible with an integrated man. So, the integration of the Anima is key to healthy and attractive masculinity and it also cuts down the anxiety because the man is not grappling with and projecting his feminine side.

    But collectively the best thing we can do is to connect with the feminine more which will lead us more into Stage Green which is community focused and will act as an antidote to all the isolation that comes from the hyper-masculinity and individualism of the Stage Orange paradigm.

    Stage Blue was also community focused and the good part about it was the community and the connection. The bad part about it was the control and inability to be authentic and the need to fit a very certain mold.

    But Stage Green community is more expansive and very inclusive while still having that tight-knit connection factor.

    I think a big part of this shift to Green will be a move away from single family homes and atomized communities into more centrally planned communities like communes. 

    I think you'll also see the rise of more polyamorous relationships as this shift happens. 

     

    So, your thesis is that it will basically autocorrect itself as society moves to a more communal stage of consciousness. 

  24. Posted

    4 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

    Don't you have any thoughts of your own or are you just interested in parroting my latest discussion with Leo?

    1 - I joined the forum not too long ago, like a month ago. So, I don't understand what you are alluding to. 

    2 - Discussing what attracts women with women is a complete waste of time and I will not be engaging in that discussion, simply because there is not benefit to it. Unless you are interested in attracting women, in that case it would be different. 

  25. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @Etherial Cat Most women are in denial of what attracts them because they are unaware and sugarcoat the qualities in men that turns them on. That applies to you and most unaware women. It's in their best interest to be in denial about what attracts them for survival reasons. 

    What makes me an expert with women? The same thing that makes an architect an expert in construction or a professor an expert in teaching: a large amount of experience with a significant amount of women.