Raptorsin7

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Posts posted by Raptorsin7

  1. Posted

    I just did a 45 minutes of self inquiry and i felt like was close to seeing how my self is a just another set emotions/feelings that i'm aware of in each moment, but when i realized i might be close to awakening i started to wonder if awakening even felt that good or if it will be super scary and i won't actually like what i find. Anyone else go through something similar on their spiritual journey?

  3. Posted

    @fortifyacacia3 @EternalForest I recommend not showing any critiques of rationalism or the orange paradigm. I am very much an orange minded person, and although i agree with Leo on the limits of rationalism with respect to spiritual development/self-actualization work, those kinds of videos are annoying and not really effective at convincing people in deep orange (i could be wrong). I would recommend videos about happiness or self-development, because your "objective-minded friend" is much more likely to resonate to with videos that can show him some near term benefit. 

  6. Posted

    I have been black sliding for the past 4 or 5 days. For example, i've been eating a lot of junk food, i've stopped waking up early and going to yoga, i'm spending hours just mindlessly surfing the web, etc. I'm still meditating and i haven't gone completely off the rails in my life, but it's definitively not where i want to be. Any tips for recovering from a black slide? A big problem right now is that i feel like shit so i eat shit food which then makes me feel even worse.  

  10. Posted · Edited by Raptorsin7

    Hey guys here's an excerpt from my self-actualization blog i want to share with you guys. I don't if it's appropriate to double post like this so mods feel free to shut it down or let me know how that works.

    Tonight i smoked weed and spent 90 minutes in the float tank. I came out with some insights, i'm nervous i won't be able to apply them because i'm in a rut right now, but we will see. 

    List of insights

    I have a formula for improving my life based on principles from the book "Psycho-Cybernetics" combined with moment to moment mindfulness. Set a goal with your thoughts, to overcome some worldly issue you are dealing with. For example, right now i need to clean my apartment but i've been procrastinating. After you deposit the goal, you must let go to the moment, and let your body and mind go to work to accomplish the goal; use mindfulness to prevent getting lost in thought and just let your self do the work, all the while being mindful of the moment and trying to see when you have fallen off track. Repeat until the goal is accomplished, have faith YOU will find a way to make it happen and trust your instincts about how to solve the problem. I believe this method will work when applied to any immediate or feasible long term goal, as long as it is consistently applied so as to build momentum in one's life.

    I see a lot of people on this forum skeptical about the benefits of weed with meditation and self inquiry. I don't know if this bias is based on their own negative experiences with weed and stoners, or if they recognize some fundamental flaw in the substance that prevents from it being effective for self actualization work. I was told to judge something by the fruit it bears, so i will begin to incorporate weed into my self-actualization work, like meditation, and judge the results for myself.

  11. Posted

    Tonight i smoked weed and spent 90 minutes in the float tank. I came out with some insights, i'm nervous i won't be able to apply them because i'm in a rut right now, but we will see. 

    List of insights

    I have a formula for improving my life based on principles from the book "Psycho-Cybernetics" combined with moment to moment mindfulness. Set a goal with your thoughts, to overcome some worldly issue you are dealing with. For example, right now i need to clean my apartment but i've been procrastinating. After you deposit the goal, you must let go to the moment, and let your body and mind go to work to accomplish the goal; use mindfulness to prevent getting lost in thought and just let your self do the work, all the while being mindful of the moment and trying to see when you have fallen off track. Repeat until the goal is accomplished, have faith YOU will find a way to make it happen and trust your instincts about how to solve the problem. I believe this method will work when applied to any immediate or feasible long term goal, as long as it is consistently applied so as to build momentum in one's life.

    I see a lot of people on this forum skeptical about the benefits of weed with meditation and self inquiry. I don't know if this bias is based on their own negative experiences with weed and stoners, or if they recognize some fundamental flaw in the substance that prevents from being effective for self actualization work. I was told to judge something by the fruit it bears, so i will begin to incorporate weed into my self-actualization work, like meditation, and judge the results for myself.

  12. Posted

    Still backsliding hard, i'm aware i'm in a rut but i'm too comfortable to push out of this. Two biggest problems right now are my poor diet, and over use of the internet. I realize no matter how much concentration practice or self inquiry I do, if i'm spending my other time just mindlessly surfing the internet then i won't make progress in my life. I've been slacking on my readings for school too, i definitely need to get on top of this stuff. So far school has been a great time though, i've had more fun and met more people in the first month of law school then i did over the entirety of my undergrad. But, i need to be better at cleaning up these simple bad habits that are subtle but definitely super toxic. Junk food, internet addiction, fapping, and poor study habits all need to be corrected. Tomorrow, i will wake up and do yoga and catch up on studying. I need to better. I really want my journal to be about growth and the barriers in my life i'm knocking down, but right now i'm stuck in the sand i need to get out asap.

  16. Posted · Edited by Raptorsin7

    "When we hit our lowest point we are open to the greatest change"

    It's from the avatar the legend of korra tv series. I've actually found truth in it in my own life, the happiest i've ever been was right after i overcame a year long depressive episode that ended with me applying some self help techniques and producing life changing results.

    Just wanted to share it (:

  18. Posted

    So, i've been sliding hard since i started my journal, go figures hr aha. I was on no fap for 2 months since early august, i had only masterbated maybe 2 times in 2 months, but these past few days i was super horny and i was basically addicted to online dating for 3 days. I just had a girl over and after i came i instantly regretted it, it's crazy the effect of being horny has on my behavior. I've realized that no fap is great, but if the urge of sex is driving me to dating apps and random sex then i think i'm better off fapping then going through this cycle. Eventually, i want to get off fapping altogether but i feel like at this point whenever i go no fap i can do really well for weeks, but once i get strong urges it usually ends up with me looking for random sex online and its super toxic and i don't like doing it. I always feel guilty and whenever i'm on no fap i always think of people saying like "you have no stick it out man, you can't jerk off or you ruin the whole thing". I don't know i think thinking in absolutes is bad, and i feel like had i just jerked off the first day i was super horny i could have avoided this whole situation. I feel a bit better because me and this girl didn't even have sex but still i regret it, and i feel like i wasted 3 days. I'm going to wake up and do yoga in the morning, and continue with my self inquiry and meditation, so i feel like i can prevent a hard backslide. But, i still feel discouraged about going through this cycle of seeking a random girl just so i can get off, when i know this is toxic behavior and not something that is going to bring me happiness.

    I hope my next posts are more to the point of self actualization, and not me caught up in my own web of addictions/bad habits but i want to be transparent too. I'm actually super embarrassed if someone i know this reads this, but i think its for my own good to get this stuff online to keep me in check. 

    I'm going to continue with no fap, because i think fapping is a toxic habit overall and i actually prefer not watching porn. But if i get a strong urge that i feel will lead me to dating apps/horny behavior i'm going to fap to get over the urge and then go from there, i don't want to keep up the charade of no fap while i'm spending hours refreshing bumble/tinder hoping for someone to have sex with.

  23. Posted

    That was my first thought when i was watching this episode haha. Joe is a highly developed person imo, but he can also be a close-minded fool too. This is an example of him taking shots at someone he hasn't taken the time to understand. But there is also truth in what he says, i'm sure leo would be the first to tell you about how he needs to work on embodying the ideals he espouses more than he currently does. I hope Joe takes the time to understand what Leo is doing with his channel, instead of taking shots at him like a little kid. Goggins is the man, but he's not exactly an intellectual titan haha.