SQAAD

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Posts posted by SQAAD

  1. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    Is there anything to fear or not?

    I think the only thing we should be afraid of is being a scared, weak person.

    We should not be afraid of the content of our fears. We should be afraid of fear itself as a structure/mechanism that may be holding us back.

    Lately i have been conquering a lot of fears, every day i give it my all. Sometimes i get very scared, but in the end i always feel stronger and more Godlike.

    My fears are constantly telling me all sorts of lies "don't do this, don't do the other, you may lose your health if you do X".

    Yeah all sorts of things could happen , but what is the alternative? Becoming a timid, small-minded person with a weak heart, who is constantly afraid of everything all the time? That is no way to live.

    I get this sense that we have nothing to fear at all. Of course one should be wise and smart about facing fear. If you go too hard, too fast, you might end up hurting yourself in the end.

    Check Howard Hughes. Miserable billionaire suffering from Ocd.

    Ocd is just another form of fear. I know because this is the thing Torturing me the most, the last years, but i have made progress, and it doesn't bother me nearly as much as before.

    Ocd/fear is a very tricky beast to kill..

     

  2. Posted

    @MarkKol

    On 7/9/2025 at 1:55 PM, MarkKol said:

    Probably the most pedophilic description of women I’ve seen man

    This bad thinking comes from failure to socialize like a normal person with both sexes. Even good socializing with men is enough to attract a woman. They just care about seeing you have a great time.

    What??

    This description is being used in the field of evolutionary psychology.

    Yeah, if it only was that easy.

  3. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    Being a nice guy, yields a terrible life:

    You don't get access to valuable reproductive resources (women), you don't make much money. You don't earn much respect.

    The logic of the program of being a nice guy is "if i am overly nice, people will like me, and not treat me bad. Women will like me and give me access to that koochie, people will like me and will give me oportunities".

    Yeah, that could work if we weren't vicious , egotistical, self-centered cave people, who still carry around a Stone Age Brain.

    (Most) Women are ruthless, they could care less about your poetic and higher Consciousness ideals. They care about survival. 

    Most people are not on a level to appreciate kidness. They only understand cheese.

    Few days ago, i was walking in the woods. There was a man in his 50s who made an unpolite remark about me. I just stared at him. 

    He said "can you move forward? My dog will think you are a threat".I just kept staring. I was ready to tear him to pieces (in worst case scenario).

    He got the message, closed his mouth and left. Funny thing is that i was nice to this man, couple of months ago.

    This is the kind of Society we live in. Where you get punished for being nice. And rewarded for being a sociopath.

     

  4. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @theleelajoker

    On 7/5/2025 at 3:39 PM, theleelajoker said:

    Are you happy with this state of reality?

    Is this reality, or is this how you project reality to be?

    Are you the one being different, doing things different, are you acting to make a difference? 

    Who cares about "people"? 

    What about yourself?

    I don't care too much either, if i am being honest.

    But i do my best to be a positive influence on others. And if i see someone hurting, i will go help him.

    I do the same with insects. I just throw them as gently as possible 'outside'.

    The situation on the planet is really terrible. This is coming from someone who has been facing Reality and all kinds of people every day for 10 months straight.

    I am engaged with the world and the level of compassion or care that people have for one another is terrifyingly low..

    Maybe humans have not evolved to care much about other humans, etc.

  6. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    There is no love at this level of Consciousness most people on the planet are. 

    Just Survival.

    You do what i like and what suits my needs? Then great, i love you.

    You make me uncomfortable or serve no function in meeting my needs in any away? Then i want nothing to do with you.

    You threaten me in any way? Then i might even destroy you, without thinking twice.

    I see no love. If love means having pleasurable taste experiences, then i guess i see it all around me.

    People are animals. I don't blame atheists for not believing in God when they see how evil and selfish people are.

    People talk about how they love their wife for example. Yeah, because she gives you accesss to that koochie, and cooks you nice tasty meals. And when she doesn't , your false love crumbles like a house of cards.

    Nobody talks about this. Because the Truth is way uglier than people want to admit. What love are people taking about? No such thing.

     

  8. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    One of the biggest realisations of my life is that the number one reason i have suffered enormously and fell into addiction is because of traumatized low-level people who have deeply hurt me, over and over again.

    How toxic and evil these people can be is very disturbing. Maybe for some it's their 1st human incarnation (just graduated from the animal kingdom). Lol.

    I do my best to stay away from idiots and find high level people but it's almost impossible to find quality people in person.

    Some may think i'm exagerrating but i'm not. I live in Greece. Greece is super low-level. 

    Everyone here is an addict. Smoking cigarretes in the norm.

    If you are pursuing higher Consciousness you will automatically be in 5% of people. And you will have to deal with the other 95% who are lost in the sauce.

    I have been atttending NA meetings and stopped using weed as an escape. I'm very serious about doing my best and i am for the 1st time in my life , feeling like i am doing my best.

    To make things short. 8 months i have been going regularly to meetings with no issues. 

    Yesterday i went to a meeting and i had a bad experience. The guy who runs that meeting was very stressed and was verbally aggresive towards me..

    I was kinda disturbed. But i don't expect better from people who have never meditated in their entire life.

    Also he told me that i maybe should not talk 1st (when it's time for every member to share). His intention behind this was not pure. I felt it.

    Maybe he feels threatened because he sees me going hard at it, with fearlessness and no hesitation.

    I don't push myself to talk. Nor i suppress myself. I just talk naturally, effortlessly, with no stupid ego gimmich behind.

    Afterwards when i was sharing, at some point i was talking about the mechanics of personalities and how each personality tries to dominate over the other.

    He did not like that. And interrupted me saying that i should only talk about my problems. I replied "this is my problem". Then he continued.

    I just left and not going there again. 

     

  9. Posted

    "You are not better or worse, you are caused."

    You are like a leaf being blown by the wind. 

    Just being in the right environment will yield better outcomes.

    Just being in the wrong environment and your life will become a living hell.

    What people call "success" is just being born or 'pushed' into the right circumstances.

    Look at Bill Gates. Great mother. Private school. Family connections, etc.

    The topic of free will is way beyond the little human mind.

    This i believe is the most important topic to focus on, to actually change the world for the better. 

    Realizing how mechanical everything is , is both profound, beautiful and scary. Because what this means is that just the wrong kind of triggers and your life will go to the toilet. 

    And just the right kind of triggers and you life becomes more beautiful.

     

  12. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @Leo Gura

    On 6/19/2025 at 2:54 PM, Leo Gura said:

    It's even worse than you imagine.

    Reality is such a profound thing that it cannot be made to suit human desires and needs.

    That's the bottom line.

    Reality cannot be designed around a finite self's needs. Like, you can't skew gravity to suit yourself just so you can avoid dying in a horrific plane crash. There's something much larger than you at stake.

    I don't get it. Doesn't God want the best for everyone? 

    What is that 'something' larger at stake?

    You say that things are even worse. How one should react to this other than being terrified and scared for the rest of his life?

  13. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    I was watching a documentary about the lives of people who were "stuck" in mental institutions, some of the worst ones, like the one in Leros.

    I felt very disturbed afterwards. Why God would dream up such a crappy life?

    It would seem better to be a fly flying on a wall rather than being forgotten , unloved, and left to die on such crappy conditions.

    I think noone can really answer this. Many just use denial as a coping mechanism.

    Some moments in life are really really terrible but maybe it's not that bad. I don't know.

     

  14. Posted

    @Leo Gura

    On 6/8/2025 at 0:59 AM, Leo Gura said:

    Sorry to hear of your struggles. Tough situation.

    That doesn't seem realistic in your situation. How about getting a simple manual labor 9-5 job just to save up some money so you're not trying to launch a business from such a desperate situation. You need some financial cushion to work with.

    Aren't there some basic jobs around like stocking groceries, delivery boy, truck driver, lawn work, security guard, bar bouncer, etc?

    Look into something like truck driving. It can pay quite well with little experience. Trucking companies can even offer training and sign-up bonuses.

    I know merchant marine ships offer great jobs and great pay with zero experience. They offer free training. And you get to travel around the world on a big ship. It's more interesting than normal jobs and offers months of time off.

    I suggest getting more creative about searching for jobs.

    There are people who earn money just from working on the streets. The guy in the video was making drawing and earning quite a bit of money.

    Trucking requires license that i don't have the money for.

     

     

  16. Posted

    @Jannes

    On 6/7/2025 at 5:22 PM, Jannes said:

    Why did your family kick you out? What did you do at home before? Have you ever had jobs before that kiosk job? 

    I completly agree with Basman, take a shitty job, rent a cheap apartment, live a cheap live and make some savings and from there you can change your life. This challenge can grow you a lot. 

    I was working some shit jobs in my early 20s that didn't pay much. And i was very unhappy at those jobs.

    This is why i didn't work for 5 years . All i did was self-actualization, meditation, programming, etc.

    An addiction to weed and some other issues didn't help achieve some results that i wanted.

    Basically i was kicked out for not working and some other reasons.

  18. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    I was abruptly kicked out from my house 10 months ago. Without a warning. Without a single penny. By my "family". 

    Ever since then i have been trying to get back on my feet. But it has been extremely challenging. Incredibly challenging. 

    I can't go find a job just to make money . While at the same, feeling like i wanna die, all the time.

    I found a job working at a kiosk few months ago. I was doing well at that job but i wasn't satisfied because i wasn't getting properly paid as the law says i should. And after politely pointing this out to my boss, i got fired (because he was afraid he might get into legal trouble and pay a fine).

    After this, i was at a job interview for a well-known company here in Greece. As soon as i enteted the building i realized that all the family members of the boss, even his grandchildren were there "working".

    I didn't get that job .

    Just looking for a job is a serious challenge. I can't convey to a normal person who has never faced homelessness how much of a challenge it really is.

    I don't even have wi-fi on my phone. I have to walk 30 minutes just to get access from somewhere.

    Also i don't feel moved to chase , chase, chase , chase a job like many other people always tell.

    I feel i am already doing my best. I keep myself clean , i attend NA meetings,i meditate, read, i push myself everyday, i don't do drugs.

    Most jobs that are easy to find are traps: jobs where your mental and physical health gets ruined. So many jobs are also filled with toxic cigarette smoke, toxic people and disgusting car pollution.

    I would like a job where i can be learning something valuable. I wanted to be a software programmer and i have intermediate level skills in Javascript, html, css. But noone really gave me a chance.

    My biggest passion is non-duality , raising my Consciousness, peak mental performance, health, and exploring radical altered states of Consciousness.

    I live somewhere in the woods in an abandoned old building.

    I have not really received much help from other people. I have talked to church people, to people who work for the town, and got very little help, if any.

    There have been many idiots who have said to one another "this guy is homeless", but have offered no help. (They have seen where i stay).

    This has made me hate people even more.

    Many days i feel suicidal. The last couple of days i have been feeling a nice sense of Serenity. Hope it lasts.

    I was thinking to go to tourist areas and sell artificial intelligence images. I have already printed them. But i haven't done it.

    My goal is to consistently make money every day even without a regular 9-5.

    Below is one the images i printed . I also put it inside plastic. 

    I feel bad because i have something to offer but i don't have the social connections and the other unfair structural advantages that other people were born with.

    Gemini_Generated_Image_ilf7cpilf7cpilf7.jpeg

    20241127_105045.jpg

  19. Posted

    17 hours ago, Norbert Somogyi said:

    It's a high dose, pontentially not risky, but you are likely to be fine with half as much. A blood test can tell where you are at currently.

    According to NIH (National Institutes of Health), the higher limit is 40mg per day. Interestingly, I also take as much in the form of Picolinate (50mg per capsule per day, even the bottle says as much). I will also experiment with halving the dose, to see if anything happens on my side.

    What you should be concerned about is excessive zinc's inhibitory effects on copper. It can increase the rate at which copper is removed from the body, also decrease the amount it is absorbed. Copper deficiency is a bitch - anemia, worse and less white blood cells, decreased immunity, potential osteoporosis and neuropathy (masking B12 deficiency symptoms, can be misdiagnosed). 

    Interesting.

    I forgot to mention that the only side effect so far is that my right nostril is a little bit clogged.

    Do you notice any difference while taking zinc?

  22. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @Basman

    1 hour ago, Basman said:

    Your probably not actually on a "higher level". Only maybe comparatively in a relative sense but you probably haven't studied psychology and epistemology sufficiently to understand how lower perspectives work.

    Everyone overestimates their level of development, maturity, intellect, etc.

    Ok so you understand racism? You have been a racist yourself?

    Or you understand someone who is a hardcore conservative?

    "Higher level" works only in a relative sense. 

  23. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    Leo said that when you are on a higher level, you understand those at the lower level of the evolutionary journey.

    But i don't find this to always be true..

    Many times i interact with people who are like animals.. Very gross Minds.. Very unconscious, Very stuck and sure of themselves.

    I don't understand for example how you can be a racist. I have never been a racist.

    And what about Liberals who don't understand the conservatives?

    And even as young as 8 years old, i never could fully believe what my Stage Blue grandma was saying about being a Literal Hell and Heaven that you go to..

    I can sure understand those stuck at atheism because i was one in my early 20s. 

    If it wasn't for Leo's work and a profound mushroom trip, i would probably still be an atheist. Because i was all for rationality, evidence, etc.

  24. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    I can't but feel somewhat 'shocked', terrified and disgusted , when i observe my 'human' mind in action, judging and evaluating things.

    "Oh  she is so fat".

    "Oh this person is ugly and old".

    "Oh, the next person is this and that".

    Fortunately i do not really engage with these type of thoughs, and i just notice them, terrified and disgusted pass away.. xD

    I can't but feel bad for people who have not practiced any meditation in their lives. It must be a bad situation in their head..

    Why does the human mind work this way?

    The meditation teacher below says, you are not getting rid of these silly low-level thoughts. Just accept your humanity and watch these thoughts from afar for amusement purposes, lol.