SQAAD

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Everything posted by SQAAD

  1. Don't do drugs. Only psychedelics. This the reason why:
  2. Sometimes after a strong trip, i begin feeling sad because my ego wants to control God but it can't. And it doesn't want to accept Reality as it is. It prefers Reality was some other fanstastical way where i had more control as God. Even though i know that Reality is already perfect and couldn't be any better, i am still biased against many things and would prefer them otherwise.
  3. @Nahm You are right. Its my ego.
  4. I have been watching mma a decade now and i have noticed many different patterns. Conor McGregor is a great example of what happens when you are underdeveloped psychologically and suddenly you get tons of fame, money and power. His huge ego is part of his success but it will also be his demise. He is not gonna have a good end for sure. Unless he changes his old ways. He has attacked a grandpa at a bar for not accepting his drink. And few days ago he apparently punched a DJ in the face. This is a great video of Conor's psychology and his huge narcissism.
  5. I was off weed for about a year now. And i was doing pretty good. I was meditating consistently every day for 20-40 minutes, was working on my Life Purpose, lost weight, was eating and sleeping a lot better. But 2 days ago i was feeling very very very bad. Probably one of the darkest periods of my life because i was facing some hard truths that i have been avoiding all my life...Generally there was a lot of stress in my life from many many different factors that i couldn't cope with. My main addiction has been with weed for most of my 20s. I began experimenting with drugs in when i was 20 years old. The last 3 years i had some relapses but i was mostly off weed. Because the pain was too much. I am doing better than 3 years ago but i still need help with this addiction. The biggest trigger for me to use weed , is extreme emotional pain. When things get really really bad. I now understand that i need to change my ways but i am afraid to change. I am scared to do certain things that need to be done in order for my life to dramatically improve. I believe i have a solid theoretical foundation, but i need a lot more action taking. I am feeling bad now, anxious and have cravings to smoke weed again. In the past i had a serious weed addiction that wasted 6-7 years of my early 20s. Now i am approaching 30s and i don't want to repeat the same dysfunctional patterns that produces enormous misery in my life for no good reason. I know that i can't control weed and i regret going back to it. I am a very attention to detail person and i get easily fraked out. I always worry about my health when i smoke weed. This makes my situation a LOT worse. Today i even searched into the toilet bin to find some weed to smoke that i threw away the night before. (I know its disgusting, but this is where the disease took me). I have the habit to throw away chocolate or stuff i don't wanna use. It works as a barrier. But with weed it did not work which is scary. This is how serious this addiction is for me, and that's why i feel even worse now. Any advice is highly apprecated.
  6. This video suggests that dairy is actually 'pretty darn healthy for you'. But i've heard all sorts of things on the internet. There have been many ridiculous claims made about dairy. The guy in the video has a PhD in Nutrional Sciences so i give him a lot more authority than other fools on the internet.
  7. @Nahm Nobody is sad. There isn't any entity inside me that is sad. But the thoughts create suffering and very difficult emotions.
  8. @Shin I am sure about the mysterious aspect of Reality and the lack of control.
  9. @Nahm Realisation that i am dead, that i don't exist. Realising that i am 'inside' a mysterious dream that i don't control..
  10. @BipolarGrowth Good advice. Thank you.
  11. @catcat69123 I am resisting discomfort and suffering.
  12. @Someone here I don't know why realising God is so painful for the ego at times..... It matures over time though, your taste begins to change.
  13. I have combined Syrian with LSA capsules. Big mistake. It made me not sleep for 2 days in a row and start losing my grip on reality. Its not a good combo for sure. It can lead to an unexpected trip.
  14. Can you please tell me who are your role models?
  15. I just realised that i am God now. WOW................................................................. And i am in God mode. What now???
  16. Let's say that i want to master something, or build a new habit like reading every morning. Should i do that every day with no breaks or is it ok to take every week some rest days? And how long should the rest be ? 1 day? 2 days? 3 days? When you 1st begin doing something you can do it for 1-2 weeks straight, but after a while you feel burned out. This video @20:20 said that you shouldn't break the chain of your good habits otherwise this is the start of a bad habit... I think it is not sustainable to do something every day without breaks. For example i can't eat ''clean'' all the time. Sometimes i have the need to eat some sh*tty junk food & It restarts my passion for eating ''clean''. Otherwise massive ego-backlass will happen and i'll binge like a madman for days in a row. Any thoughts and advice?
  17. What if you stutter which makes your speaking skills go down the toilet or have some other disability. Maybe half of your face is burned from some fire when you were a kid or your nose is too big or you can barely walk with one leg. Is it possible to be succesful at pickup then when you have an obvious issue and you are not considered normal or you shouldn't even try? It seems pickup can only work for normies. I have never seen anyone who stutters attempting to do pickup.
  18. Today i got my results for my cholesterol. It is 210 ng/dL. I have been eating many many whole eggs the last year. Like >15 eggs per week on average. And the last couple of months, i began noticing a feeling of blockage in my heart area. What should i do from now on? Is cutting down the eggs enough to lower my cholesterol?
  19. @Rilles I'm interested to know, how do your rest days look like? How many times a week?
  20. Haven't watched the attached video. But i have watched many other videos from Russel Brand. He is a pretty conscious and evolved guy who has overcome a lot of sh*t in his life. Also a great example of Stage Green. I don't think he is a Trump supporter, no way.
  21. We've heard about how Reality is Perfection and Paradise but i think that at the same it is also Hell. Many peeople don't appreciate how hellish existence can become because they've just lived a basic comfortable existence somewhere in the Western world with somewhat decent parents. There are definitely levels to this. Levels that we don't even comprehend. For me it was a shock the previous year the amount of suffering that i've experienced from a silly mistake. That little mistake costed me 1 year of pure misery. One year of pure torture. There was a period where nothing i would do, would make the depression go away. I just had to let the time pass. It was the worst thing i've experienced in my entire life. I never expected reality could turn so ugly so fast. You can do all the ''right'' things and still get cancer, suffer through a terrible disease for years for no good reason, brain damage, dementia, lose all your money, get tortured , get murdered, etc etc. There are many things you can't control and can't completely avoid. My biggest fear besides getting tortured is losing my mind, my intelligence and my great memory. Every time i feel a painful sensation in my brain i get terrible anxiety. This can make my life unpleasant some of the time. Most of the time i am in a decent mood. But i am generally afraid of eventually losing everything i've worked so hard to gain. Many times i think that all the things i've learned , i can completely forget my just getting dementia. This can make it hard to motivate yourself. Yesterday i sat with a 90-year old man who has lost his memory abilities recently. He can't remember much. After his son died, he fell into a deep depression and his mind deteriorated significantly very rapidly. He was a physicist. The challenge of life i believe is that there are all these terrible things that can happen to you and you can't deny them. You can never say ''that will never happen to me''. All the sh*t you don't wanna experience, there is a chance you will experience it. It seems to me that all this suffering and pain is somewhat senseless at times. I don't get it why it can get so bad. I understand the necessity of pain and suffering but its just too much. Too much...
  22. @Leo Gura You are right. ''Action is what really matters''.
  23. @Leo Gura Fixing a stutter completely may be impossible though for some people. I have watched people with terrible stutters that did improve it but not all the way. Still the understanding on stuttering is very limited but it seems there is a neurological component. From my experience it is 80% psychological and 20% neurological. My situation is not completely hopeless and my stutter is mild. You are right that i am making excuses. It is because i am unsure whether i will be able to overcome this or not the way that i want. This is why i prefer to accept the worst case scenario before it even happens, i don't know if this is the best strategy though..