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About Lorcan

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  1. If you come to Ireland. I think I'll be the only one showing up lol
  2. I appreciate the sarcasm, perhaps you misunderstand what I mean. I have said I do not advocate the shadow red, I advocate red in order to raise consciousness. Un-healthy or shadow red can spoil everything else no? Same with beige, if your eating a bunch of junk, but your a master in stage yellow, you'll get fucked up at some point due to your bad health. (Which beige is responsible for no?)
  3. I will accept it. What do you mean there is nothing more to understand? How can god make thing happen simultaneously, yet at the same time, what Leo said about all experience ending is not true??? More videos will change that.
  4. We need more heroic red in people.
  5. Leo! This is ludicrous. If god allows for "everything" than that means everything. Including an experience that lasts forever and is painful. And yes, since god allows for everything, it simultaneously is not the case. But still. You get my point. Why does no experience last forever, when god HAS to allow for everything therefore making some experience out there from some ego, last forever, and be painful. Linear time does not last for ever???????? What? So you can suffer forever in linear time? WHAT???? This is way to much, Looking forward to future uploads explaining this.
  6. But if god allows for everything, what if he gets someones ego, put it into a dimension where I am immortal, for an infinite amount of linear time, to be tortured in the most intense pain forever. Whoever that ego is , is absolutely fucked, because there is no escape, and he will never get to experiance all the parts of himself because he is trapped being immortal, and never dying, in infinite linear time. This is horrifying. How could you embrace this? You would'nt be able to. God can make it so you cannot embrace, love, or accept anything in this dimension is well. Or is there a chance? If god is me, and god allows for everything, it means everything is possible and impossible at the same time. Such that , if put into such a dimension, there is a chance of an escape, but simultaneously, there isnt? It's to much.... more videos please.
  7. Yeah. But what if I embrace everything, and then since I did that, god (myself) sticks my ego inside a dimension where I feel intense pain(torture basically) for an infinite amount of linear time, further more, in this dimension, go has made it so I am stuck in the ego, and cannot escape, he has also made it impossible for me to accept anything , or to love anything, even to try to, so I cant even in embrace the intense pain because I have no free-will. Since god has to include everything, that is one of the dimensions/realitys. What then? What if God did that to you? What would you do then? This is a serious question. I'm not trying to criticise you or anything, but, what if I decided to do that to myself? Embracing it seems as if to force yourself to laugh even when your being tortured, you'd think your the bigger man for laughing, but the laughing wont stop the pain. But even in the dimension I described, thats not even possible. This seems like quite the serious pedicament. If you become an immortal ego that feels intense pain in linear time for an infinite amount time, with no free will to make any choices, just "feel". The absolute horror., and I think some constipation I had in the past was bad. I mean, how does it all work? If your an ego that lives for infinity, that means, you only get to experiance that ego and nothing else ever, therefore, avoiding parts of yourself. And god could make it so that happens to your or my ego,and make it so we also experience intense pain (as described in the scenarios earlier) Leo, would you not seek immortallity so you have more time to study?
  8. Why not the other way around. God only appears in chaos, otherwise it is just harmony without the knowledge of the self. God allows everything in the absolute infinitum, even to contradict itself. So how can I be so trusting in going on way or the other. God itself can do what it likes even if you do everything right, become enlightened, etc. Why is this not a concern to people?
  9. If pleasure wont satisfy me, and I'll just be a slave. That is one ego. Meanwhile, another ego is also immortal, but he is being tortured for infinity in linear time. It's better to be some egos over others right? But it seems with this whole spirituality thing, everyone is saying the ultimate thing is to merge with the singularity itself and get rid of separation. But the ego does not want this? Why could the ego possibly not want this. Is it because the ego thinks if it surrenders , that it will feel pain. (And remember, as an ego, I only know THIS experience, and that there is pleasure and pain, and I certainly DO NOT want pain, and I am scared of death because death appears uncertain, and ego says that anything can lurk in uncertainty , good things, or HORRIFYING things. (All relative to the ego) Therefore, that is why the ego DOES NOT want the truth? If the truth was appealing to ego, to what it find's appealing, it would want the truth. This is all to much. It's fucking twisted. At least in this realm. I do not know what lies elsewhere. There's just so many possibility. If god is absolute truth, what is at the other end of the spectrum? Is the seek of further illusion more painful than truth? Is the truth simply brutal and the best thing I can do is accept the brutality, as to do anything else is to inflict more pain through lies, when I have pain to face as it is in truth?
  10. If God is me and is this singularity which is the absolute Infinitum which is absolutely everything, than "I" as an ego, but still god, can create a reality of my own creation creation because god simultaneously allows and disallows everything. Why surrender? If God is me, and is the singularity. Is God friend or foe? What if your surrender to god (meaning you give up your ego right?), such that, you are no longer the ego, "you" cease to exist, and the "you" is replaced with "It". A burning question for me is, what does it feel like to give up all identity (the ego) and be "It" the singularity which is the absolute infinitum that allows and disallows everything all simultaneously for eternity. Is there pain? Yes, I know the ego is vulnerable to pain and pleasure, but what happens when your remove the illusory separation (your ego) that was not there in the first place. What does THAT feel like? If the only permanent thing is consciousness "the void" itself, and your saying when I surrender to god I am becoming "THAT" , the singularity. If I can only feel pain as an ego (pain as in = not being at peace, wanting to change, "THAT" feeling of pain (such as when you have intense nausea, whatever that is) ), and as an ego, I surrender, and become the singularity. Is that permanent? What the point in surrendering, when one billion years later, ego pops out of nowhere again, and now your an identity again, that forgot he was the singularity, so he can feel pleasure and pain, and the shit cycle continues.... Now. Pleasure in itself is good, I can be at peace with pleasure of all kind. But pain...., I mean, minor pain is bearable, but major pain? Whatever that fucking "Thing" is that is the major pain, that "Thing" is.... unbearable. It must be escaped at all costs, but is there a permanent escape? Is surrendering a permanent escape from that "Thing" we all despise so much. A permanent escape from that "Thing", is to become an Immortal god ego, that can live forever is linear time, and therefore avoid pain forever in linear time, and feel pleasure forever in linear time. By gods's rules, who allows for everything, this is possible....but also impossible.... this where it get's Tricky , with god the only guarantee is that is no guarantee's............ Is surrendering the only escape, is it even permanent? If am as an ego, a mere puppet. Yet, as an immortal god ego, I am this puppet that is free from pain forever. That does not sound that bad...until it all ends? What makes god good? God seems to be devoid of good and evil just appears to be "IT" , letting itself just be. From the perspective of the ego, the ego would say that god is good , if he only allows for pleasure, with minimal or no pain.
  11. Life is a mystery, and death is a mystery. The ramifications of this are huge. I wish it would really just fucking hit me so I would permanently stop fucking around. This is serious shit here! We are a rat dropped into a maze. We have an identity and we feel pleasure and pain. Pleasure we seek, and pain we want to avoid at all costs. We use symbolism to communicate experience to other rats. The only perspective we see from is our perspective. See the women in the red dress? She represents all the "petty" shit people get distracted by. What makes it so hard? Well, whatever that "thing" is. "Pain". That's what's hard. Why is it and what is it? This is where language is useless. There needs to be a new language. The rabbit hole goes so deep. I do not even realize it yet.
  12. Really? I think it comes down to preference. I find having to exert willpower to play these some times. They are broad genres. I will agree, some people are highly addicted to these games. I mean, fuck, some people are addicted to candy crush, I'd struggle to play that shit for 10 minutes. It highly depends on the game. The more mainstream it is the more addictive I find it tends to be I observe. Then again, I see people who have addictions to niches. Which games are the least addicting for you?
  13. I think Leo may dislike video-games because of their often addictive nature. For example, Leo said regarding Psychedelics that, he would not take them if they were addictive. I love the pleasure of playing a good video-game, especially multiplayer with friends. Depending on the game, I find that it can become an addicting habit. More so with low-effort, mindless, never-ending games. MOBA's, MMO's, Multiplayer Survival , Battle Royale games, Multiplayer Twitch-Based shooters (like call of duty) can be especially addictive. Also sports games like Madden or FIFA. I think I wasted to many hour's playing video-games. Yes, I have fond memories of playing them, but I also remember playing them rather mindlessly. The problem with video-games, I think is that, one can very easily fall into this mindless state, and in this mindless state, it is harder to derive pleasure from the video-game, so the user feels the need more and more and more to get that some reward, that same dopamine hit. Kind of like a bad sugar addiction, where you need more sugar to get the same amount of pleasure as you got the last time. But.... If, mindfully while playing, your are APPRECIATING in the game, noticing all the small details, admiring all the textures, mindfully reading the text and sending love to it, than your experience will be much better, and much less prone to addiction. You can test this out for yourself. After you finish meditating, preferably outside, come back inside, and load up a video-game. Notice how much more you can appreciate it, try keep the meditative state. But I assume few people do this, as you have to actively do it. (At least in my findings.) The best video-games in my opinion are games that require patience. Strategy games, or CRPG's or JRPG's. For example. I'm currently trying to figure out how to play this game It's a grand strategy game. It has lot's of depth. Bejapuskas, you should get it, and we can play one match over the course of a year It has multiplayer, in the multiplayer, players have to email in there turns. A turn in the games completes only every 24 hrs. So you play your turn, your email it in, and then you have to wait until the next day to play your turn again. So you spend 10-20 minutes doing your turn, you submit your turn, then you have to wait until the next day. With the single-player you can play as much as you want, I find it it kind of anti-addictive because when you own large territories on the map there is a lot you have to manage and think about it, which can be taxing on the mind, such that you WANT to take a break because you notice yourself start to make bad strategic choices because you've been playing for to long. Video-games can be sort of like sending yourself deeper into the matrix. One might argue that this "real" world is so exceedingly mysterious, that one must spend all of ones time trying to figure out what the actual fuck is going on, and therefore, playing video games is a distraction. Perhaps. That is all concepts and imagination.
  14. I have never tried modafinil, I remember concocting this god brew in the morning to compensate for 4 hours of sleep. Everyone was like "What the fuck are you drinking?" lol. This stuff from what I can remember made me feel alert and tranquil. Wide awake and peaceful. It kind of taste's like an overly minty coffee. I drank it anyway From what I can remember it contained 3 tablespoons of coffee, 3 green tea bags, 3 regular tea bags, 5 peppermint tea bags and some honey. I think I may be overestimating the numbers. Put in boiling water of course. I might try it again, but with fish oil added in. Also, you can use the teabags multiple times. You can also eat the tea plant inside the bag. I'm not sure if that had any negative effects.