TheGreekSeeker

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About TheGreekSeeker

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  • Birthday 09/04/2001

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    Athens, Greece
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    Male

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  1. @JonasVE12 How explanatory...
  2. Hello everyone. I will try to be as quick as possible. I study psychology at the University of Athens. I chose it after some thought because it seemed the choise with the most potential out of all the others offered through my branch of examinations (e.g. linguistics, law, history etc., in general humanitarian studies), and the one with the most different courses to take at a master's level. However, I have some recurring problems: 1) I have difficulty studying and attending to the classes because I don't feel intrigued enough for the topic of the lessons to be interesting to me. 2) I feel jealousy of my friends' and other college students' academic progress (i.e. their general grade, their commitment, their courage to work alongside going to uni) 3) At the peak of the covid period, during the quarantines, when lessons were being taught online, I cheated at a lot of tests. I feel regret, and something I can't recover from is the thought that this degree won't be completely mine. Then my obsessive mind tells me that I should force myself to take another bachelor's degree to square this situation. Or that I should try harder for a master's degree. How can I feel free from those thoughts? How can I progress without comparing myself to others and without devaluing myself?
  3. When I said that I do not have resistance to emotions I meant that I recognize them when I feel them. For example, in that particular moment when I felt nervousness, shame and jealousy I completely admitted to myself that this is what I feel. I didn't try to shrug it off and ignore it. But yes, I didn't believe at the moment that I have the mental and psychological capacity to ground myself in vulnerability. That's why I left. I didn't want to show vulnerability because everyone else (my friends) showed passion and self-confidence and vibed in the moment. I thought it is bad to feel that way. I am still on the spectrum of needy reactive vulnerability though, so I cannot fully comprehend the state you are referring to. I will experiment in the future and try to implement your advice. Thanks!
  4. Thanks for the sharing. I recently started practicing brazilian jiu-jitsu. It's very empowering indeed!
  5. No worries. Thanks for understanding! Maybe you get heated up because you see your past self in my situation. By the way, are you russian by any chance?
  6. Of course my plan is not to stay stagnant and dependent on medication for the rest of my life. They are a scaffold which helps me deal with otherwise overwhelming situations. For example, if I was not taking a specific type of antidepressant I would have got a panic attack in that bar, which now did not occur because of that "pill". Please do not use derogatory terms. You come off as aggressive, and although you are trying to help, you achieve the opposite goal. Either be more polite or do not answer on my posts at all. Thank you.
  7. Thanks to everyone for their replies. I will try to respond to your answers. @Preety_India I understand that it is a habit problem, but in my case it is more difficult since I am introverted and I prefer small group of intimate friends as company. Also, loud noises and intense lighting in bars/clubs bothers me since I am hypersensitive. @JonasVE12 I am able to feel emotions without resistance, but I prefer to proccess them alone. For example, I can cry if I am alone, but in the presence of others I feel judged/mocked if I show true emotions, given that vulnerability is taken as a weakness. I will try to get more exposure to uncomfortable situations but in a more methodical way. Going to a bar and conversing with complete strangers of the opposite sex is like the end-game boss. I would feel more relaxed if I talked to girls in a common friend group at a café, and then gradually try more hard quests. However, I should note that in the past I have done straightforward approaches to girls in broad daylight with more courage. I don't know what has changed. @Raze thanks for the recommendations. I will watch the videos. @something_else if I consumed alcohol in an unknown environment I doubt it would do much good. Generally speaking, when I drink alcohol I tend to want to fall asleep or retire to myself, and additionally it might act together with my antidepressants and make me more drunk. Although I see its positive effects. I will keep it in mind. @Nicoleta thank you for your advice. Yes I was fearful and I don't trust my mind enough to persevere through uncomfortable situations. I fear that I will get rejected or humiliated. I can't recall a certain past experience that made me that way, I think that I was always prone to negative feelings and that created a self-fulfilling prophecy in a lot of situations, which might made me believe that all attempts will end in failure. @SgtPepper you say that they are just people, but people are the reason why I was bullied in the past and rejected with no remorse. I have a lot of unproccessed trauma which holds me from living life to the fullest. I will try to expose myself gradually to new situations, while learning to trust people more open-heartedly. @Something Funny I was feeling shame of my body, fear of other people's judgment if I danced or tried to speak to girls and jealousy because my friend had the opportunity to experience something that I wanted too, which is to flirt fearlessly and enjoy making out with a girl. This rewiring you talk about is already happening with the medication I am taking, which protects me from negative emotions, such as anxiety, depressive thoughts and fear (panic attacks). During the last couple of months I have been introduced to a whole range of emotions and energy that I thought were impossible when I was locked in a biochemically induced paradigm. My psychiatrist has told me that after a couple of years I will not need to take anymore medication because it will have a positively irreversible effect to my brain biochemistry. Regarding worthiness, I want to feel entitled (in a none egotistical kind of way - in a mature kind of way) to other people's attention. I want to feel that I deserve a chance from others to get to know me and appreciate what I have to offer to them as a friend or as a lover. I will try to develop myself to the point where I don't care about acceptance since I myself offer me that, and I want to believe that others will sense it and be more attracted to this self-confidence. @BuddhistLover I think that psychedelics (with the exception of weed) offer a lot more spiritual insights than alcohol (and weed), which make you numb. @RMQualtrough I might have some elements of avoidance in my personality and attitude. Yes I was sober, but I don't believe that lack of intoxication made me react that way. As I previously said, if I was pretty drunk and feeling lost, I would probably feel more negative emotions than sober. Also, yes I am reserved but I communicated my problem with my friends, family and I will address it with my psychotherapist too. So please don't make assumptions about me since you know so little about me.
  8. Hello everyone. It's been a long time since I last posted. A couple of days ago I was out with 3 friends and we went to eat. Afterwards they wanted to go to a bar with loud music (kind of like a club). As they were dancing I was feeling very awkwardly and I was laughing nervously. I didn't know what to do or how to feel cool in my skin. I have gained weight over the past years so I don't feel comfortable with my body. Since I wasn't enjoying it, I went outside. After a while one of my pals came outside to tell me that 2 girls were talking to our friend group. When I got inside I felt very nervous, I hadn't had the courage to even look them in the eye, and after a while my other friend started making out with one of the girls. I felt jealousy and I left. I later explained to them that it was nothing personal, but I wanted to find my inner peace first. If I wasn't taking anxiety medication I would have had a full blown panic attack. How can I feel that I deserve attention from girls and that I am worthy of their time? My problem is that I constantly think that I am lacking in something, be it looks, attainments or social connections.
  9. Thanks man. Can we talk through private messages?
  10. What is your knowledge on polyester clothes and their effects on human health?
  11. @Nahm how can I have love and compassion for someone that isn't even a someone? That doesn't exist?
  12. @NahmIf he doesn't exist then you too are as imaginary as him. So how can I trust your words then ? Who is to trust? Correctly you said that I want friends, relationships etc, but if they alla are fake, then isn't it all meaningless?
  13. Hey. Can you give us more information on your background? Doesn't need to be publicly. I could start listing things that create erectile dysfunction (health, stress etc), but this is all classic. You need a more nuanced approach.
  14. Thanks, my first friend ??♥️
  15. @Emerald what keeps me back and unmotivated ?