Shiva99

I never complete anything.

11 posts in this topic

This is a very huge problem for me, and it obviously has a huge impact on my life. I never complete anything, i get bored very quickly, and i always seek instant gratification from everything. This has been going on for as long as i can remember.

Examples:

-Getting books home from the library, or buying them online, barely reading them or not reading them at all.
-Starting a new exercise routine, or any other habit and not completing it, or giving up early in.
-Buying videogames to start them up once and not touching them ever again.
-Starting new hobbies and buying expensive stuff, only to give it up early.
-Starting a new course online, buying expensive self-study materials and barely touching them.


There are probably a lot more situations where this occurs, but i think you get the main idea. 

lalely i've been trying to force myself into sticking with something,  but it obviously doesn't work at all. It also holds me back from doing anything at all, because i know i always end up in the same place by giving up or getting bored.

 

What can i do about this?
 

Edited by Shiva99

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@Shiva99

Possible causes:

  • Lack of vision.
  • Lack of direction.
  • Overthinking.
  • FOMO: fear of missing out.
  • Lack of disciplined, passionate, and purpose-driven friends.
  • Lack of alignment with your core values.
  • Lack of expression of your true feelings (e.g. through a journal).
  • Might be some basic stuff like diet, lack of fresh air, lack of sleep, bad postures, or unorganised lifestyle.
  • Addiction.
  • Victim's mindset.

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It's alright, you do not lack anything. You are perfect. 

I know it can be frustrating to be where you're at, but no magic advice will get you out of this mindset. 

When you're really ready to make a change to what you want, it will happen. Trust in that. 

Try dropping this idea of having it have to go your way, the way you want it to go. 

Love yourself for failing to do these things, and watch your life improve by itself. xD

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I will watch this thread since it reasonated with me very well. I had this since I am child. People around me and neighbors used to say this "You're really smart but you get bored so quick of stuff". To "OP": I had something going consistent like going to gym. Why: Because I liked it and all the struggle you receive at gym makes me feel excited. I feel good after exercising. I can't say I have anything else. Maybe meditation went for long like years but not consistent as this one.

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we would need to define "finished"

I don't finish what society call a "sell able object" but I finished my enlightment for instance. OR MAYBE NOT ?

Edited by GodDesireOnlyLove

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We buy the new gear, expensive tools, that cool sports clothes, a gym membership at the beginning of the year, an interesting online course or some books, with the expectation and fantasy in our head to develop that exercise routine and stick with it, start the long time planned diy home project, acquire a cool new skill, gain some interesting knowledge or at least have some fun and be content with ourselves meanwhile. 

The act of buying needed items already tricks our brain into a dopamine hit which comes with a feeling of excitement, as if we already accomplished something, meanwhile totally ignoring the fact that the task were about to do is going to definitely suck at some point.  It's not anyone's fault as we're basically wired to 'think' like this and be biased towards our future actions. To a certain extent our economy runs on this poor reasoning skills that turn our homes into wear houses of undone ideas and projects. 

Beside buying stuff for our projects, even watching people doing those tasks (like how to videos on YouTube) triggers our feel good mode of accomplishment. (This was also discussed last year in an episode of the NPR show Hidden Brain)

I think that this is a very common problem for all of us. Whenever I speak with someone about this topic, that person can relate and has his/her own story of fail to tell. 

I also think that nowadays, with the constant availability of entertainment and our inability to focus, we not only get quickly bored but also have a low tolerance for enduring boredom and failure. 

I have no concrete suggestion on solving this problem, being in the same struggle. But maybe a good start is to research the mechanics and complexity of the problem first. Maybe podcasts or blog posts on willpower, distraction, attention span and focus will make a good start. 

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On 4/24/2020 at 6:10 AM, Shiva99 said:

This is a very huge problem for me, and it obviously has a huge impact on my life. I never complete anything, i get bored very quickly, and i always seek instant gratification from everything. This has been going on for as long as i can remember.

Examples:

-Getting books home from the library, or buying them online, barely reading them or not reading them at all.
-Starting a new exercise routine, or any other habit and not completing it, or giving up early in.
-Buying videogames to start them up once and not touching them ever again.
-Starting new hobbies and buying expensive stuff, only to give it up early.
-Starting a new course online, buying expensive self-study materials and barely touching them.


There are probably a lot more situations where this occurs, but i think you get the main idea. 

lalely i've been trying to force myself into sticking with something,  but it obviously doesn't work at all. It also holds me back from doing anything at all, because i know i always end up in the same place by giving up or getting bored.

 

What can i do about this?
 

Look at all these various goals.   Take one that you can do in a month that will be of most benefit to your life. 
Then stick to this more a month no matter how excruciating it may be at times and always do this first thing in the day as much as possible in the day and put not essential activity at lower priority.   Work at it in 20 minutes intervals with a 5 minute break in between. The break is timed with an alarm, no exceptions. 
At the end of each day and week you will begin to like yourself.  It comes about by focusing on one thing at a time 

 

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Do you have an identity around not finishing things? Release that part of your ego.

 

Why do you think you need to finish things? Do you think it will mean something?

Often times I've read books to completion when the value was 30-40 pages ago. Don't feel compelled to complete every thing you do. 

Keep trying things, you'll find what you like and wont feel the need to finish it. You'll be engaged in the process, there will be no completion necessary.

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