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About electroBeam

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  1. I wanna develop intimacy, both for sexual/romantic relationships and friendships. I need to understand more the difference between an intimate friendship vs an intimate romantic relationship. I need to understand the differences between developing intimacy between guys and girls, etc. Goal is to get better at connecting with people (developing closeness) and better at controlling the ways that closeness goes (being able to control whether it gets sexual or non sexual).
  2. Im not into awakening I'm into personal development haha. But thats an awesome paragraph, must of been written by jed mckenna's brother.
  3. Yep cool that's how it feels to me, thanks. I guess if you aren't happy with your growth curve, fundamentally the only thing you can really do is try super hardcore. Just go nuts and trying.
  4. yep totally agree I'm probably doing it wrong or sloppily. But what determines whether you do it wrong or sloppily? Because you can practice a technique with a lot of focus, seriousness, perseverance, yet that can lead to you doing things too mechanically and you not listening to your body enough. Sometimes the suggestion of listening to your body can come across as practicing things sloppily when its actually not. For example, you can practice kriya yoga through doing lots of concentration and focus on get the technique exactly right, and then it doesn't get you anywhere, so you play around with it till it starts doing stuff you like, but then how much of that playing around is you getting sloppy? You can't just keep practicing the technique rigorously because its too mechanical, yet if you start playing around that's when the ego loves to get in and trick you and make you practice it sloppily. That video had a lot of stuff on materialistic success vs spirituality which is awesome. What I need more help with is feeling like I'm understanding how reality works more through doing certain practices, and then those understandings get contradicted and I get upset. For example I was going deep into how to have better sex by practicing sexual/spiritual exercises, and then I thought I nailed what the go was, which was something like visualizing sexual energy come up from your dick to other parts of your body, tried that, worked well sometimes, and then it stopped working and then you start questioning whether you're just deluding yourself.
  5. Sometimes when I do consciousness work, I feel like I'm relieving suffering, learning, exploring, on the right track, only then to get some potential indications that I've just been traveling down a dead end path that didn't lead to relieving suffering, aligning myself closer to God, etc. For example, you can think you're aligning yourself more with God, relieving suffering by doing zen meditation when you let go of everything, but after assessing yourself for a period of time like 6 months, it can become very obvious or apparent to you that the amount of suffering hasn't reduced and you were just going down a dead end path and have to try something else. Or when your exploring your body through yoga and you get really excited by the possibility that you're getting a deeper understanding or connection with it, but after a 6 month period you get indications that you aren't getting a deeper connection with it, and it was just a dead end path that didn't relieve suffer, didn't give you a deeper understanding or connection with your body. Or when you very rigorously practice loving kindness meditation for months on end and you're no more loving at the end of it then when you started. What are some ways of relieving yourself of the suffering that such insights have, especially if such ones happen A LOT.
  6. well for it to be a theory it must be modelling some truth. Which you're suggesting is desire at the moment. But desire is also a theory, and not truth, so to put it in your framework, my theory is just a theory of a theory, in other words, its not meant to be true or not true, its purely meant for relieving suffering and having impact.
  7. is your bullshit meter just a word counter?
  8. @Nahm wrote something about everything being bullshit in my desire thread and it bothered me, so I decided to contemplate it a bit more hahahahahah. The part that bothered me was, yes all we're working with is bullshit, sure, but there's differences between good bullshit and bad bullshit. Like for example beautiful, well thought out epistemology, and shitty epistemology, intelligence vs stupidity. So surely its not all bullshit, or at the very least not all bullshit is made equal. And then you could orient towards "just drop it all dude! Just drop everything! You're holding on too much!"... yeah but, what about helping others? To help others you gotta deal with all the bullshit. You can't just shut your lips, ever type anything again because you'll get sad that you aren't helping people who are in need. Or your needs to create reality wont get met(like a God need, not a human need, a human need is a subset of God's needs). ... so then what's the go? Are words just good in some contexts, but not in others? Are words good but just transient (they fade or lose relevance over time), Are words, when deconstructed, just energy transfers between people? They don't have any meaning but are just used as energy vessels(this is the perspective I've held for a long time)? Well what do words give us? They give us a deeper understanding of reality. What would be the deepest understanding of reality? Would it be that the entire universe is Love? Would it be that the entire universe is a massive dmt machine elf land or something? Would it be the realization that pure understanding is a total realization? Would it be an understanding that all there is, is consciousness? There's a problem with all of these conclusions, even on a metaphysical(rather than intellectual) level. The problem is you think reality can be pointed to. Like the universe is love. But it can't, because as soon as you point, you're breaking reality up. So no the universe is not love. In other words, you can't say the map is not the territory, because the territory includes the map, and therefore, the map is on the map(if we are trying to figure out what everything is). If we are going to figure out what reality is, we must include everything that's happening now. And that means, we must include every single perspective that is currently being shared with us. But if we include every perspective, how do we point to that? What, call it the universe is Love lol? (Note I'm not putting any limits on who owns that perspective, like some assumption that each perspective is divided into different people, 1 person might have multiple perspectives, while another person might have none, and 2 people might share the same perspective at any given time, and then they change perspectives all the time so its not static, a perspective to me is just feeling good or a "juicy insight" or wisdom. I see the human construct as a way for perspectives to emerge, yet paradoxically such emergent perspectives include the human construct as a subset of them after emergence). No you can't point to every perspective by calling it "the universe is Love" lol, because that is another perspective that must be integrated! So pointing to what reality is, is a doomed strategy. If we can't point to what reality is, then how do we get to realizing reality???? Definitely words are contextual, they are super wise in one context, and profoundly dumb in another context. And whether something is wise or not has nothing to do with what was said, but when it was said, and who it was said to, who it was said by, how it was said in the context of what else was said, and where it was said. And that determines whether wisdom emerges or not. Combining wisdom together in a certain way, is profoundly wise, combining wisdom in another way is profoundly dumb. So there's emergent properties to how wisdom is combined as a whole (to up your dimension). Is duality/reality created by anything other then words/wisdom/insight? If you remove them, does a car actually exist? Does any object exist without words/wisdom/insight? Maybe words aren't just symbols but entire creation itself. There's nothing to creation beyond words. And each sentence/insight is a partial perspective. So the entire universe is made of partial perspectives. So if you can't get a realization through pointing to it, then your only option is to create it with the perspectives you have. Realizations are not a getting to a destination exercise, they are a creative exercise. Realizations are the end result of mixing, combining multiple perspectives together. And how you combine the perspectives together to maximize a realization's effect, depends on what perspectives already exist. Because all of the perspectives as a whole is closed system. What puzzle pieces you need depends on what puzzle pieces are already there. From one arrangement, you need the universe is love puzzle piece, from another arrangement, you need the universe is God puzzle piece, yet no puzzle piece has a monopoly on the other. So when it comes to getting insights, what needs to happen is to see all of the perspectives that are happening now, use your intuition to find out what perspectives you need, and build those perspectives through contemplation or meditation or yoga or just walking in the park. The other question is, why dilute all of this into words? Why not just get wet in the insight? Well how do you create such perspectives without words? That's the thing, you can get wet, but the wet is pure formlessness. And if its pure formlessness, you can't separate it out to create different arrangements and combinations of perspectives to forge greater insights. Anyway @Nahm if you wanna contribute to my sneaky bullshit and tell me where I'm going wrong, I wont mind hahaha. EDIT: also yeah you can just sit and meditate all of this away... but again its pure formlessness and that's just one side of the coin. Even if you meditate, you can't escape words or perspectives or duality because its right here. It will always be here, perspectives, duality, words are all eternal. And meditation is finite. You can only meditate and clear your mind for so long until you're back in the flesh of perspectives, words, duality, creation, etc.
  9. woah! Nahm just got political, love it!
  10. You're so sneaky, calling me sneaky like that.
  11. how are we meant to grow with that pessimism
  12. agree! Just like to make sure there's no sneaky shit going unchecked.
  13. I don't think trying to make anything disappear from your memory is a good strategy to alleviate the suffering that is causing you grief. Rather recontextualise the experience into seeing how its a lesson that helps you grow, expand, teach you new things to be happier, and integrate that experience as a positive influence on who you are at your core, is much more effective. In other words, love the bad experience, let go of the judgements of that experience (I.E. the word "Bad"), invite it, embrace it, be proud of it, include it with who you are. Recontextualization of Desire Desires are not quenched through attainment of manifestation. Desires are quenched through learning and embodying lessons, through expanding your experience, through understanding more deeply. The function of desire is to ensure consciousness expands, loves more, and grows more. It is a misunderstanding that a desire is something that pushes you to physically manifest something. Rather its pushing you to become aware of a new perspective, worldview, embodiment of a skill or its pushing you to let go of an old paradigm. Its a misunderstanding that a desire is something that can only be quenched in the future. The desire is quenched as soon as you learn the lesson. For example, if you have a big desire to buy a big car, you don't actually want a car. What you want is an experience that the car will supposedly give you. That experience has absolutely nothing to do with a car, neither to do with any material manifestation. Its got to do with consciousness wanting to expand and explore a particular understanding or experience. Or to gain new skills. What is it about a new car that turns you on? Driving fast? The smoothness of turning around the corners? What is it about driving fast and smoothly turning around the corners that turns you on? The pure feeling of fastness and smoothness... ohhhhh I want my body to be smoother and faster because currently its unhealthy. Ok so instead of getting a big car, I'm gonna be healthier and do yoga. Another example... I want this hot chick, she so hot. Ok have you noticed that as soon as you get that hot chick you don't want her anymore? Maybe what you want is the chase rather than the attainment of her. What is it about the chase that you like? It feels good when girls like me, I want to feel desired. Ok what is it about feeling desired that turns you on? It makes me feel people love me. BOOM. Ok so what you want is others to love you. Instead of focusing on getting that hot chick, focus on skills to get people to love you (charisma skills). What else about the chick do you want? She's hot and I want to have sex with her. Ok what is it about sex that you want from her? I want to feel an energy transfer. Ok cool so when interacting with girls, focus on and emit that desire for that pure energy transfer. You can visualize deeply the core of the desire (which is never physical or material, or requires anything other then a bit of imagination) being fully actualized in your mind. Then you will feel completely satisfied for a while. To maintain it and take it beyond "for a while" you gotta show yourself that its not something that you are just in your head, its also something that you are by your actions. So act it out, show yourself that you are this desire, you don't want this desire, the desire is who you are. You are someone with a fast and smooth body (because you eat healthy) you are someone who everybody loves (because you act charismatic), you are someone who transfers energy in the form of sex (because your lifestyle is someone who asks girls out)... notice that the desire doesn't have to be materialistically manifested to be quenched, its just got to be first clarified (figure out the expansion, understanding, exploration of experience that the desire is pointing to) then embodied as who you are (by acting in a way where that clarification of the desire becomes who you are).
  14. Having a desire, to end all desires, is still a desire.
  15. hello water, how are you. Do you mean let go of trying to get the desire and just feel into/dive into/fully immerse into the desire and just BE the desire?