EddieEddie1995

Member
  • Content count

    459
  • Joined

  • Last visited

5 Followers

About EddieEddie1995

  • Rank
    - - -

Personal Information

  • Gender
    Male

Recent Profile Visitors

2,200 profile views
  1. The more consciousness you have the more connected you are with others. We started texting for the first time on our private chat at work, just before he sent me a message, I knew it was coming. Synchronicities are no longer magical because at some point there is no distinction between normal and abnormal. Anyways, I knew that he is ready to take the next step - as he was sharing how excited he is about lucid dreaming. He was telling me about hand and mirror technics to get Lucid in a dream. He is also a musician, so that day I wrote him a poem. Well, it was not Eddie that wrote it, that's for sure ----------------------------- His name is Pavle. Sender Unknown: Hello Pavle, my dear friend, look closely at your hands again. Are you sure for what you see, are there hands or just Me? Lucid is what this poem needs. How to Wake up, when the world feels real? Look Pavle, my dear friend, your hands are mirror to your True face. Your fingers' nature is to work as One, but there is a finger you don't like. Listen Pinky, stupid fool, You get to do, what I tell you to! But daddy, this is not fair! One more word and I will chop your head! Hello Pavle, my dear friend, The small finger has lost its way. Let it play its own song, Why fear, when you have 9 more? Dear Pavle, my old friend, The finger goes crazy because it's afraid. Please Love it for what it Is, And as you know, Love is what Sync brings. Listen Pavle for the silent drums inside, It is always on you what you get to rime. Hello there my old friend, Are we Lucid or do we sleep again? This is where this poem appears to end, Pinky presses Enter, And The Message is Sent. -------------------------- The poem writes itself, but who then the pen holds? There is no such thing as edDie, when Wisdom Flows.
  2. I agree. Nice! Bipolar is a balancing game. Manic: clings to positive states - feel bad in a low state wants/likes to speak up and break the "normal" rules - feels bad about the consequences Depressive: sadness, pain, anxiety, and guilt trigger the Manic again as self-defense. etc. Hello Adrian! I was not diagnosed (I am afraid of doctors hehe :D) but I can see my bipolar tendencies playing out. Would you like to share how this is playing out in your daily life? What sanity means for you? I know that when taking psychedelics I was able to notice all the fears and triggers which caused this pendulum swing. - Small trap here :) I created even more attachment to avoiding the negatives and clinging to the positives. Before it was like a month of mania then a month of depression. Now because I noticed the fears and I am working to integrate them, they started to subside drastically as I began to simultaneously embrace and detach from both sides and, things naturally started to fall into place. When taking mushrooms (I didn't take high doses), it helped me see why and how this is playing out in my life. But the issue is that I forced myself too hard and expanded the pendulum swing even more. So the Manic episodes were very high (I thought I was enlightened - the desire to escape suffering xD), and the Lows were very low (I thought that I am messed up and crazy - the desire to be perfect and enlightened). Now I try to not judge myself and just label it when it is happening. Just to add that most people will never experience this. They will leave a "normal" life. I am grateful for the traumas I got in my life because I could never suffer enough to see that I am not just a guy with a "disorder", I am way way way more than I thought I am, and way more than the "labels" society makes me brainwashed with. (not dismissing psychologists, of course, just not holding this too seriously - two edge sword:). In this case, I agree with the comments above. Take it easy and implement some grounding technics and contemplation(what helped me). I always have in mind that sometimes/usually gets worse before it gets better. And now that I developed awareness enough to "catch" myself when this is happening, I do the grounding practices that I am struggling to implement for 4 years now Grounding here is not to avoid negative experiences, but to be clear enough to take it to step by step. It is definitely getting better and better! I am integrating this shit slowly but surely. I was lucky and foolish I guess, but also sometimes we need to take a leap of faith, not as a manic part of you only, but get both sides to work together. Also, grounding is a must here, because if you are not, the unconscious parts can flood in and freak you out. I mean, freaking out in this process is inevitable, the difference is how we will perceive it, and use the integrated practices to let the storm go or be strong enough to stay with it. I wish you all the best Sir! ------------------------------------------------------ Also, please take advice very carefully. I am on the journey as well and I am just beginning to get aware of how unconscious and bunkers this can turn into. This is what worked for me: 1. Affirmation: "I am not that, I am not that, I am not that...." - It disengages me from the parts that I don't like and like. Then I switch it to "I am, I am, I am, I am...." - Which naturally starts to accept all the things that you like and don't like. This is powerful! Be careful! 2. Walking barefoot, sun gazing, and cold showers kinda bring the feminine and the masculine together. 3. Fasting and eating healthy - Heavy metal detox. - The ego is just wanting for a moment to go unconscious, and toxic body makes it easy! 4. Contemplation/Labeling practice, at least 30 minutes a day. - I do it in the morning and the evening, but many practices and things naturally started to fall into place because I stopped fearing myself and what I can do - I can let myself go and switch up the practices whenever I want to (just staring to get aware of this). 5. Try to integrate these changes/practices from positive motivation and love, and not out of fear and desire to kill the parts in you that you hate/are ashamed of/not aligned with the idea of who you think you should be. This will be hard to distinguish, but it will get clearer over time. Edit: I wanted to add that from my experience I would level it generally like this: Manic is the little child that wants to break free and be the way it wants to be, and the depression side is when the manic is lost and the inner child is pushed away. I don't know... Cheers Adrian!
  3. 16 but it should be higher though! 2022 I was puking out my selfishness and narcissism. The tricky part is that in the self-development journey, we create another part of ourselves that takes over and pushes away all the shit that does not fit its image/part. Now I try to catch how I am judging narcissism in me and others, and try to embrace it, and love it as it is. I try to see what are the desires behind it and the needs that it is trying to meet. Why so afraid? The thing is, the deeper I go, the deeper it hurts. but I try not to frame it as suffering, It is uncomfortable good which keeps revealing my true self, deeper and deeper. The spiritual/personal development ego was necessary for me (still active and running :D) to create a bigger shield that can protect me while I am dealing with the small stuff until I am ready to drop the whole shield and let all the demons and fears out in the open. While I am writing this, I can see all of my narcissistic traits expressed. But what can I do? Well, I do my best to observe what "Is" with allowance and acceptance. The mind now says, what is the point of this? To whom are you writing? Are you pretending again? Haaa, look! I got you! Look how selfish you are! Shut the fuck up! The other part of the ego says! I love being selfish and narcissistic. I love myself and I am not afraid to speak up! The other part of the ego says - This is just an illusion that you are imagining. There is no one writing - LOOK! Which is it? Which of the infinite parts emerging Is the Truth? HAAAAA! DROP IT AND LET YOURSELF GO!
  4. Woow! Amazing! Can't wait to try some! Thank you!
  5. You gotta love the meta construction insights! Hehe How about we go meta on the meta also, and meta on the meta. Interesting game we play hehehehe But how to escape it? How to finally get it? Well, who is the one that is getting it? The lie (deception) is truth=perfection=infinity The idea of ego and someone waking up is illusionary! Relativity or form IS Infinity
  6. @The0Self Very interesting indeed!
  7. We are what we are looking for! There is no separation between consciousness and unconsciousness. It's always IT. Whatever form it takes. It's Infinite. It's 0. Nothing=Everything!
  8. Go test the feeling, yesterday I went into a dark woods to trigger my fears and shit my pants
  9. How long do you feel like that? Im on MDMA without MDMA for few months now (it goes up and down, but it is always there) When I took MDMA for the first time I realized that I already had that feeling, i just got used to it and on the other hand I sabotage it, why? Because there are a lot of fears in my shadow that hide underneath that state/feeling. I had so many great realizations on it! It is fucking amazing! Now I understand why so many people are hooked on drugs They wanna feel like GOD! @levani maybe we can talk if you want, I would like to hear more about your state
  10. @Leo Gura Recalling the good old times?
  11. Meditation is useless for people who think it is useless It is how we think it is Try not to fall into the game of right or wrong to much. You know what is best for you, you love and respect yourself no matter the outcome. Make a decision and love what ever turns out to be. You are the King!
  12. Thank's for the pointer Now I know what it is hehehehe