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About EddieEddie1995

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  1. No, In my astral projections or what ever I tend to wake up, in my bed, but I don't actually wake up,im dreaming that i wake up. And when I awoke(im aware of my ego,im not the ego)few times in a dream, my ego gets scared, and I wake up(still within a dream), im in my bed telling my gf what happend,but im dreaming that Its weird. Now I can say that im not dreaming. But in a way I em,but I em not conscious of it now. I em thinking of you, im thinking of replying to you,so I em creating you, so I can say im imagining you. But I feel it goes deeper... I hope this makes sense to you
  2. I did that also. I woke up few times within the dream telling my girlfriend next to me what happend. She was saying, when you fall asleep you start mumbling scared, don't do it anymore, it's hard on you ego. And I say im fine, i will be right back... and zzzzzzzzzz (the pressure in my head ) booom I awake in the dream, then my ego gets scared, then I wake up within a dream again... It was so freaky and amazing!
  3. I know what it Is! It doesn't change anything! You are just aware of it!
  4. Omg! Last noght I had awakened in my dream! It was Astral Projection! Hahahahahaha! My hair is up! I will write what happened when I have the time! -My Ego was really afraid, as I (awareness) was obsserving Eddie! - My Ego started yelling in unknown lenguage fluently(it seemedto me that it was my past lenguage). It was scared,it was yelling in rage, because it wanted to prove that it is not an idea, a thought. "Nooooo, cant you seee??? Im hereee" "Noooooo" - This is just a glimpse of how my ego will fight to survive -It was so clear to me what awakening is, and how I can observe my Ego! - My khudalini or third eye was activated 3-4 times -When I woke up from the dream or astral projection I was so aware, I dod't think of the "dream" , I was in the moment... and it went away - It was mind blowing experience! I can't believe what is happening to me...
  5. This doesn't change anything. The feeling is what matters, the ideas you put around them. The suffering is the same. If a kid looses a toy and you lose your hand, the suffering can be the same. But yes, there is always worse, there is always better. Its relative, it is however you wanna look at it
  6. Hahahaah!
  7. Fucking gamble. I couldn't stop ot for years! I feel you ! 35k... but, it was never aboit the money.. it is the flow, the anticipation, where all your problems disappear, you are fucking consumed by the machine... you know you need too stop, but you can't! You want to figure out the machine, you have the need to solve it...It is a false sense of life journey (this is what you crave).All this is projected onto the machine, the thrill of gamble. All you want is flow, to figure out your problmes(in that sense, you want to escape them), all you want is love! And you get it! You are addicted to it! Then you blame yourself for it... fucking gambling, almost lost everything because of it... but the lessons I learned! the deeper you get(suffering), the higher you can fly!
  8. Some of you guys don't know how its like to be in life/death situations, you didn't even had a fight. This things happens in split seconds, you don't think, you act ! And you don't even do it , your defensive mechanism does it for you . When someone is trying to hurt you, and if you can't run, you do what ever it takes. My opinion on this situation now This guy was drunk. That is first sign of threat . He was lying(I assume xd) . Another threat . The police seemed too polite and sloppy, especially when arresting him .What happened afterwards was what happens when you have two egos fighting for survival . But have I actually said anything in this comment? Jesus... This is why I don't like commenting on such topics... Jesus, why em I wrting this... Oh well Ohhh I try to be smart, take a position that can't be opposed and struggle with different perspectives. I can't stay grounded In one.And i overthink . Also... I sense insecurity and fear of being wrong. But who is right or wrong here? One think I definitely know, I em confused individual Jesus Eddie, go to sleep -.-
  9. I just have to repost it here hehe This is Amazing!
  10. Freaky stuff
  11. It might resonate to INFJ-T
  12. Than you! I just discovered 16 types. Im INFJ-T Its crazy how accurate this is! When I was reading about it, I just couldn't believe how a test like that can be so accurate! This will benefit me SO MUCH! Thank you!
  13. INTJ- T This is so accurate !
  14. For me, accepting myself means that yes, there are things that I don't like about myself, there is negative criticism etc. and by accepting my worries , insecurities, selfishness I can now see how I can grow out of it . When we feel bad we usually criticize others , which mean we criticize our-self. So in that way, accepting myself means that there are selfish , ugly things about myself , and its alright, because It couldn't be other way, all our life experiences has brought us to where we are now . So I look at my avatar as something perfect , but not In a sense that I could now stop working on my avatar, but in a sense , okay I love myself as i em, and now I can work on myself to purify it, to take out the shit i collected . I hope this makes sense And there is no ending process , a place where you can say "Okay, I got there, now I can relax" , I see my avatar like never ending process , and the best way is loving it, working on it, like you are doing right now . Does it really matter? What will happen if you accept that you hate yourself? How does that feel? Even if you are wrong and you accept things that are fake about you, you will feel it, you will learn from it. Don't let that stop you contemplating . Ask these questions on every judgement you have about you : What being "fat, ugly etc." looks like? What it means to me? How is that a cultural norm? Who told me what is ugly and what is not? What made me who I em right now ? I hope this helps
  15. Hello my friend! I see you mentioned Shadow Work and I want to give you few ideas Emerald has amazing course on Shadow Work and Shadow Integration , you can check out her videos and learn a lot of things ! She makes Psyche looks like a piece of cake Usually we have repressed emotions and needs that are pushed into the shadow. And all this emotions and needs are acting out of your conscious awareness. So maybe there is a need for connection, but you can't get it because you have created a barrier because you got hurt when you were a child . So this barrier is negative emotion that triggers (like a fear is here to save you from bear) just to protect you from getting hurt, but end up hurting you because you can't connect. This negative emotions are corrupted by the human mind in different forms like : victim mentality ( just another way of trying to get love and acceptance etc.), rationalizations, criticism etc. So the problem here is , because it is "true to you" that you have negative emotions, you are giving them labels like "something is wrong with me, I don't know what I want , I can't be happy",but you see, how can you trust your mind when the things you are feeling are totally unconscious to you ? This negative emotions are not "bad" , this negative emotions are tying to protect you and heal you. You have conflicting unconscious motivations that you need to dig in, work on, and contemplate It for sure is transforming my life right now ! And maybe this victim mentality that you are believing in right now , is just unconscious need to get connection that you suppressed because you "believe" the only way to get to Love is Enlightenmet , or suicide maybe , because those are common when it gets really tough ... This examples are just speculation, don't mind me Shadow Work is good way to go! I learned so much about my self ! Self-Help is idea and belief, just another way to manipulate your emotions, but Shadow Work is true growth Here is another Source of LOVE! She has amazing way of helping us realize our bullshit believes ! Im just applying her teachings, and all i can say is HOLLY SHIT! Keep it up bro, all this is normal, a little suffering is needed for you to start asking the right questions, AND THE ANSWERS APPEAR! <3