5-MeO went horribly wrong...

[mpechura]

ronda, if you find these penises too intrusive, go and see a psychiatrist and ask him/her to give you antipsychotics.

I actually think very highly of them in general. These days some of antipsychotics don’t have any side effects. I sometimes even take them to improve concentration when I’m in a dreamy mood.

You take a pill and within the next hour, you feel incredibly better. There's no downside to them. Only upside.

Psychiatrist may tell you to keep taking them. But I feel you can stop taking them when the undesired effects go away

Edited July 25, 2023 by mpechura

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

40 minutes ago, mpechura said:

ronda, if you find these penises too intrusive, go and see a psychiatrist and ask him/her to give you antipsychotics.

I actually think very highly of them in general. These days some of antipsychotics don’t have any side effects. I sometimes even take them to improve concentration when I’m in a dreamy mood.

You take a pill and within the next hour, you feel incredibly better. There's no downside to them. Only upside.

Psychiatrist may tell you to keep taking them. But I feel you can stop taking them when your psychosis is over.

Why, call it psychotic episode? That’s really not helpful at all. There is to much risk in going to a psychiatric doctor as they are too dogmatic and don’t understand anything (the most) about spiritual and consciousness stuff.

[mpechura]

Giulio Bevilacqua, I'm down with whatever other word that you or others might find more streamlined and implying fewer implications. The important part is that it's something undesirable for ronda that persists after the trip and there's a way to get rid of it.

I don't think ronda needs to discuss his continued interest in psychedelics with the psychiatrist. Simply that he needs the persistent penises to go away and that they were caused by psychedelics.

From my experience, the psychiatrist will mention that it's a bad idea to use psychedelics if they cause this type of consequences, but they don't see that their job includes cajoling you or teaching you life.

Another thing is that I don't think that psychiatrists understand psychedelics at all but it's not important. What is important is that they can prescribe antipsychotics. You can be the judge when to return to doing psychedelics again, which from ronda's description I don't think he should stop doing for good. Only temporarily until the undesired effects go away.

ronda, do these penises have any significance to you on an intuition level? Usually people have a pretty good idea what they are unhappy about from their past. You'll need to look into whatever trauma you haven't healed from.

Edited July 25, 2023 by mpechura

[Yimpa]

4 hours ago, mpechura said:

Another thing is that I don't think that psychiatrists understand psychedelics at all but it's not important.

Some are becoming more open-minded. For example, my psychiatrist was cool with me trying ketamine IV infusions. And soon after I took it, she happened to start prescribing ketamine as well  (the nasal spray version / Spravato, though). 

I’ve never tried Spravato, but if I had to guess, ketamine IV is a lot more potent. 

[nuwu]

On 24/07/2023 at 5:57 AM, Leo Gura said:

insanity

I ate it, sincerely. I want to scream, but unfortunately, I have too many warnings points.

How do you differentiate 'practical' insanity, which allegedly unveil insights of self into greater awawakenings, to imaginary nonsense? For instance, divergent branch of metaphysics, including yours, seems to conflict in alarming ways, suggesting infinite self-deceptive capabilities of ego.

1. Buddhism: Restrictive practices centered on meditation, (un)leading to Nirvana or Void
2. Actualized: 'meta-imaginary' states, but supposedly focused on Truth or consciousness itself 
3. In-Betweening: Exploiting doubts and confusion to delay conscious work (myself)

Is there a plan of video to define what insanity is, beyond material grounding, and how it should be overcome, integrated, explored in a 'solipsistic state', etc? Is the 'letting go of traumas' and 'Facing Fear & Trauma On Psychedelics' videos still up to date with your latest advices and insights? Horrifying memories and shadows of mine won't go off and keep getting worse. 

[Yimpa]

13 minutes ago, nuwu said:

I ate it, sincerely.

Nice recontextualization there 

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, nuwu said:

I ate it, sincerely. I want to scream, but unfortunately, I have too many warnings points.

How do you differentiate 'practical' insanity, which allegedly unveil insights of self into greater awawakenings, to imaginary nonsense? For instance, divergent branch of metaphysics, including yours, seems to conflict in alarming ways, suggesting infinite self-deceptive capabilities of ego.

1. Buddhism: Restrictive practices centered on meditation, (un)leading to Nirvana or Void
2. Actualized: 'meta-imaginary' states, but supposedly focused on Truth or consciousness itself 
3. In-Betweening: Exploiting doubts and confusion to delay conscious work (myself)

Is there a plan of video to define what insanity is, beyond material grounding, and how it should be overcome, integrated, explored in a 'solipsistic state', etc? Is the 'letting go of traumas' and 'Facing Fear & Trauma On Psychedelics' videos still up to date with your latest advices and insights? Horrifying memories and shadows of mine won't go off and keep getting worse. 

It sounds like what you got is an unstable, chaotic mind that veers off into schizo directions. I know what that feels like but it's hard for me to give you a solution because people's minds work differently.

Best advice I can give is to have some kind of meditative practice that you can use to calm your mind down so it doesn't veer too far into schizo realms. But I'm not sure how effective that would be for you. Some people just have naturally chaotic, schizo minds. Perhaps you need medication.

Edited July 25, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Holymoly]

@Leo Gura or a good therapist to help him gain awareness around his schizoid tendencies, would try that before medication 

[Space]

On 23/07/2023 at 6:07 PM, ronda said:

During the peak of the trip, I was immersed in a state of pure bliss and love. It was as if the very essence of love itself embraced me, cradling me in its warm embrace. I felt an overwhelming sense of interconnectedness with my family, friend, my girlfriend and all living beings, as if we were all threads woven into the tapestry of existence.

But amidst the beauty and wonder, there was an undercurrent of pain and shame. It was like a deep, buried part of myself that I had been avoiding, surfacing to be acknowledged. It was an emotional rollercoaster, and I could feel tears streaming down my face as I was going trough the pent-up emotions. It was definitely too much to handle and I couldn't "let go"...

Eventually, the intensity began to subside, and I found myself slowly returning to the present reality. As I came back to my senses, those pesky penis visions resurfaced literally everywhere.

'Letting go' is a big part of 5-MeO and IMO it's the key to releasing trauma. Don't worry, if you decide to do a few more trips you'll eventually feel confident enough to fully let go. 

But you need to be ok with letting your life end and letting everything that constitutes 'your life' dissolve with it. It's a certain mental movement that takes some getting used to. It sounds like you were still holding on to a part of your self out of fear.

If you go all the way, the 'interconnectedness with family and friends' will also dissolve. Family and friends must be let go of - completely. Because they are just selfish inventions of the mind. No family, no friends, no all living beings. Total distinction collapse is what is required.

The visions can certainly be annoying. I'm not sure there's a quick fix here. My best advice would be to fully allow them to arise and pass away. Resistence = persistence. The best way I found to get out of annoying thought loops, particularly on psychedelics is to move your attention into the body, away from the head space. Intentionally relax the body and ground yourself.

[nuwu]

@Yimpa Thank you.

@Leo Gura Thank you, your response is helpful. I am not sure why I didn’t seriously consider schizophrenia. Given my family history, it is a possibility. I had horrifying hallucinations and nightmares. I try to take refuge in abstraction layers, such as conceptualization or imagination, but this is like building sandcastles directly over water, it seems hopeless. 

Sorry if probing for advices might seem manipulative.

[Verg0]

Maybe look into the work of Stanislav Grof. He talks a lot about similar experiences. 

[Yimpa]

The fact that you’re facing your fears sincerely is already a step in the right direction. Don’t underestimate that, despite how difficult it is. You’ll be thankful you did later down the line.

[eggopm3]

Maybe next time you're tripping imagine being a woman and having sex with your penis visions. perhaps that might "use them up" so to speak. 

[Mel B]

@ronda just do more sessions with 5 meo dmt. Maybe find a facilitator or psychedelic therapist. Sometimes stuff needs to be seen and let go and there is not enough time in a 15 min session. Could be helpful but trust your intuition 

[Cocolove]

On 7/26/2023 at 7:52 AM, Verg0 said:

Maybe look into the work of Stanislav Grof. He talks a lot about similar experiences. 

every psychonaut should read the way of the psychonaut

[Yimpa]

On 7/27/2023 at 7:14 PM, Mel B said:

Maybe find a facilitator or psychedelic therapist.

Haha, for sure. I’ve worked with one for a few sessions. Very, very helpful for newbies and for those with serious mental illness.

Me: I think I’m dying…

Therapist: No, you’re not.

Me: Oh, cool.

*trip continues*