Holymoly

About 8 hours ago I plugged a dose that was about 5-6 micro scoops and I all did another trip two days ago, the one two days ago was much much less full on. I now understand why Leo was saying that human consciousnesses like 30 and dogs is like 20 and god is like 10,000. I did both of these with my girlfriend who has never done it, the first trip I was basically just lying down and she sat at my feet and I sat up and did some eye gazing with her afterwards. This time I took only a slightly bigger dose as far as I’m aware but it was about 100x more powerful. As it came on I told myself I am safe, the scary bit will be over soon but it kept getting more intense and I sat up and started eye gazing with her and I screamed so fucking loud” oh my fucking god!!!! Holy fuck!!! Mother fucker!!! Holy shit!!! I’m so scared!!!!!! Hollly FUCK!! I apparently stood up and was bashing my head, she had to stop me and hold me and tell me it’s okay come back. I was so conscious it was truly terrifying. It felt like my consciousness was going through a washing machine with moments of calming down/ clarity that did not last. She took me to the bed and It continued on and she suggested I take a cold shower as I was really sweating and hot I tried to get up but felt as if I was going to throw up, she got a bucket and I began to do the most intense purging although nothing really came out. I think I said something like I was so addicted to marjiuanna and she got me to say “I let go of addiction” she was honestly really great she held it together and kept me safe. I used to think that I understood what Leo meant when he said you should be losing sleep over epistemology, except now I think I do understand a bit more it’s 2am and I can’t sleep, I just did some wim hof breathing to help me feel better.. it helped a little I suppose, so now I’m just writing my thoughts and it seems to help although I can still hear the sound of my screams in my head it’s a bit haunting, I asked to book in a integration session with Martin ball. It’s hard to think that this might have done more harm than good, I never want to go through something like this again, and I just hope that I’m not required to go through it again, to heal. Any advice would be appreciated or comforting / encouraging reflections would be nice please don’t tell me how much I fucked up

I’m wondering if anyone here has experience with crypto exchange restrictions in Australia, especially around Monero/XMR. I have some XMR sitting in a Kraken account from years ago. Australia stopped supporting trading for Monero a long time back, which I already knew about, but I thought withdrawals to external wallets were still allowed. Now I can still see the XMR balance in the account, but: I can’t trade it I can’t convert it and XMR doesn’t even appear in the withdrawal list anymore So I’m trying to figure out whether: Kraken has now fully locked XMR withdrawals for Australian residents or whether there’s some workaround / account issue / support process I also can’t seem to get through to an actual human support person. Has anyone dealt with something similar or know more about the current situation?

Check out rainbow gatherings

I remember martin ball talking about people puking he worked with them

Sorry sounds like you’re getting paid so it’s an apprenticeship ! Any tips on landing the apprenticeship ?

Hey I’m 28yo Aussie been wanting to get into an electrical trade… are you studying at tafe or do you have an apprenticeship? It’s crazy reading this I’m a music too and want that finically stable life haha I resonate with allot of this

I have spent the past hour trying to listen to the videos about Plotinus on Leo’s blog and I really want to be able to follow what is being said but I just can’t, does anyone have any recommendations as to books or other ways that I could learn more about it. It was reminding me of some deep psychedelic trips that I had where I was on the brink of having a profound realization around the nature of fertility or vitality but I was not able to really have the insight. I could see that it has the potential to be extremely blissful and recommendations on how I can find out more about this topic

Elliot used ayauasca like over 10 years ago

I take it without a trip sitter 5meo I feel the danger that your actually going to die is not huge so I just leave it up to fate. I don’t know people who I feel like I want to do it with but of course it might be helpful at times depends who though I would like to take 5meo with Buddha holding space haha

Is there a difference between thrashing around and going into symmetrical movement? Like are you supposed to stay still I cannot seem to sit still but the symmetrical movements and vocalization is spontaneous. Also is this experience ever not overwhelming? Is it a sign of a lack of preparation or is this just how it is at the beginning I’ve probably done about 5 proper trips with it

this guys whole page is full of perfect cold approaches. https://www.instagram.com/nueskii?igsh=NzNvMnJlcnN6OWVh

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jcxLl6Ndr04&pp=ygUGS3VtYXJl Worth a watch pretty incredible haha

lsd can definitely make you more witty and charismatic and less fearful when talking to women haha

Is there anywhere Leo has explained his problem with Buddhism/ Buddhists? I read him talking about Buddhist rats etc, listening to David nichtern a student of trungpa rinpoche and he saying how Buddhism invites you to try and break it it’s not about belief etc so has Leo broken it ?

When this happens it’s a really good chance to practice not beating yourself up, I don’t know if you have that tendency but I do and it’s actually incredible when you can stop doing that because part of the reason you a struggling to do things in these moments is because of the internal beating up that is going on effecting your self esteem like When your all like fuck I should have done somthing that’s beating yourself up. When u see it this way it’s a win win! If you talk to them and get a date awesome! If not you have a reallly and I mean really good chance to rewire your brain here I know the feeling and it sucks but your doing it to yourself if there were no girls on the walk you wouldn’t be like okay fuck I’m such a failure so yeah! I like to use the mantra “it’s okay, your fine”