How does one become more grateful?

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

And by grateful I mean authentically grateful.

I've been trying to increase my gratitude for life in the hopes that it will increase the quality of my life, but that means that I'm not really doing it for the gratitude itself, but as a reaction to my circumstances which I don't feel content with. A lack of gratitude in other words. Perhaps it's the nature of love, that when you seem to lack it, you'll want more of it. So maybe even my selfish desire to use gratitude as a way to serve the little me is still meant to push me in the right direction, but I'm honestly not sure.

So what is authentic gratitude and how does one cultivate it?

[ivankiss]

Well, God played this funny little game with me where he ripped away from me everything I had and watched me struggle for years to try and gain it all back and build on top of it. That's how I kind of, sort of, became more grateful for everything. For this very moment, this very breath.

Except that I'm also still very full of shit. So yeah... who knows what the next game's gonna bring.

Edited July 14, 2023 by ivankiss

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

7 hours ago, ivankiss said:

he ripped away from me everything I had and watched me struggle for years to try and gain it all back and build on top of it. That's how I kind of, sort of, became more grateful for everything.

That's an interesting perspective. So suffering played a role for you? I've noticed that once I come out of suffering, there is a brief amount of time where I feel relieved and grateful for the moment, but eventually I get used to it and slip back into this state of taking things for granted and start suffering again. It seems that pain is only a limited motivator for gratitude, but maybe that changes if you manage to transcend suffering. How often do you usually suffer in your life, if you do?

Edited July 15, 2023 by DefinitelyNotARobot

[caspex]

The most authentic gratitude is that which is expressed for existence itself. To develop that you need to do consciousness work.
Any other inferior form gratitude is unsustainable.

[Yimpa]

Explore different parts of yourself, even the wacky and abnormal aspects. Take the plunge and go “wow!”

[Hojo]

I think by being in bad spots and coming out of them. Go put yourself in a bad spot if you never have been in one. Stop eating or something go into the woods with no food for a couple days. 

My first 30 years of life were mental terror and coming out and being able to not think seems like god blessed me so I am able to wake up and be grateful that I am no longer in that state of mental terror

Edited July 15, 2023 by Hojo

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@Swarnim Is it something that you cultivate naturally as you do the work, or are there any specific practices which can help you build this gratitude?

14 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Take the plunge and go “wow!”

 

[Someone here]

Start small. Look at the way the light reflects off your water glass, look at the sky.. start to notice birds..notice the way warm air feels when you're a little cold or cool air feels when you're too hot and revel in it. 

[caspex]

5 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@Swarnim Is it something that you cultivate naturally as you do the work, or are there any specific practices which can help you build this gratitude?

Try the satisfaction meditation by Leo on his channel. When you achieve that perfect satisfaction, try to induce joy(even though you're satisfied not inducing it), if you don't feel joyful already. This way, you'll be feeling happy for no reason but for existence. Boom, gratitude achieved.
 

[ValiantSalvatore]

On 14.7.2023 at 5:59 PM, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

And by grateful I mean authentically grateful.

I've been trying to increase my gratitude for life in the hopes that it will increase the quality of my life, but that means that I'm not really doing it for the gratitude itself, but as a reaction to my circumstances which I don't feel content with. A lack of gratitude in other words. Perhaps it's the nature of love, that when you seem to lack it, you'll want more of it. So maybe even my selfish desire to use gratitude as a way to serve the little me is still meant to push me in the right direction, but I'm honestly not sure.

So what is authentic gratitude and how does one cultivate it?

Gratitude journal and contemplating beauty. Write down 3-5 things and expand and see how subtely it is the true profound gratefulnes will most likely be based on very deep contemplations of beauty & nature for example and existence.

[Lila9]

I think that when people experience real struggle, loss, pain, any difficultly or unfairness, not always but many times it helps to appreciate what do goes well in life.

 

 

[PurpleTree]

Stare at a tree, be grateful for its beauty and presence 

[ryandesreu]

Every time before eating, find the hunger feeling in the body and really feel it. Now imagine that food not being there and really let it sink in. Do the same for water.

Before sleeping, find the sleepiness in the body and really feel it. Now imagine your bed not being there. No peace, no rest. Really imagine yourself in that situation for a bit. Do this nightly. 

Imagine someone you love, someone you care for, someone you need. Your mother, your father, your significant other, your child. Focus on the love you feel for them. Now imagine you wake up to hear the news that you will never see them again. Do this daily. 

If any of these exercises start to become too much for you at any time, stop.

[Yimpa]

Do something uncomfortable, intentionally. No, I’m not talking about slitting your wrist. Im talking about doing something you know in your heart you want to do, yet are resisting. For example, talk to that girl/guy that you’ve had your eyes on for a while. Do it without expecting a result (e.g. “I need to not be rejected”). Even if you do get rejected, you’ll be grateful that you went through the experience and learned something new about yourself and others. If you’re not grateful, then it clearly shows how selfish you are.

[Yimpa]

52 minutes ago, ryandesreu said:

If any of these exercises start to become too much for you at any time, stop.

Or instead of stopping, take some psychedelics to really feel into the discomfort more and explore yourself  (i.e. the advanced route)

[tuku747]