Cheating, what your moral about it?

[Manusia]

Curious about what moral of people here about cheating since is hugely condemned by society. Be honest.

Don't give advice to me, explain your moral.

Edited January 6, 2023 by Manusia

[Sucuk Ekmek]

If you want to cheat do it. Truth is you fcking want to do it, am I right? I am not gonna babysit someone and say ohhh no don't do that. But beware of consequences.

[Lila9]

For me it's a sign of immaturity, lack of decisiveness, lack of integrity. You don't want to be with someone? End it kindly and be with the person you do want to be with, but don't do this behind the back while you're still get the benefits from your first relationship.

[Lyubov]

I think people do it for a number of reasons in their mind. I don’t think it’s just “TRAUMAAAA” but it definitely can and does play a role for many people. I’m not sure this post could list off every single belief or reason why people cheat. There is also cheating in the moment and having an affair. I personally think it’s best to avoid living a life that lacks integrity. That comes with a lot of problems. 

8 minutes ago, lxlichael said:

A truly healthy relationship has a preoccupation with the truth internally, externally and especially interpersonally both emotionally, cognitively and every important implicative there.

I agree. Both people have to be aligned with their true spiritual value instead of societal value, or else their beliefs will always lead back to some form of “not being good enough, “not worthy of love”, “not being capable”, these type of beliefs. 

[Manusia]

Interesting.. anyone else? 

[LastThursday]

It's called cheating for a reason. When you're in a monogamous relationship, then there's a tacit agreement that it will stay monogamous. By cheating you're disgregarding your partner's expectations, wishes and desires. They would have every right to punish you, be angry with you or leave you for breaking the agreement. By cheating you're signalling that you don't really care about your partner, and you may even be tempted to cheat in other ways.

Every time you want to cheat, you should stop and consider how you would feel if someone cheated you the same way.

[Spiral]

It potentially hurts someone’s feelings and that’s mean. 

[Eyowey]

My definition of cheating is a bit broader than most people. When a girl knows about my existence but shows interest in a guy who's not me I consider that cheating. I don't call it cheating but it's in the same basket so to speak. It should not be forgiven because it's the ultimate betrayal. 

[Arthogaan]

Relationships are just contracts to restrict one's freedom in some extent to gain the feeling of security and companionship.

Breaking any rule of the contract is gonna hurt the other person. So much better to communicate about your needs and if other side is not able to accept the level of freedom you need then you break up.

Personally my girl can't cheat on me, because I do not restrict any of her freedom because I love her unconditionally. 

[LastThursday]

19 minutes ago, Arthogaan said:

Relationships are just contracts to restrict one's freedom in some extent to gain the feeling of security and companionship.

I relate to this in that I'm single basically because I like my particular type of freedom. Despite that, I think calling a relationship a restriction of freedom is not quite right. Realistically, you're exchanging one set of freedoms for another set of freedoms. There are certain freedoms I don't have because I'm single (for example companionship and intimacy).

Another reason cheating hurts, is because when you're in a relationship the relationship itself behaves as a single entitity with its own identity. Cheating directly threatens that identity. The relationship itself wants to survive (as an entity unto itself).

[Arthogaan]

2 hours ago, LastThursday said:

There are certain freedoms I don't have because I'm single (for example companionship and intimacy).

Well you can have a friend with which you share some platonic companionship and intimacy but in friendship we usually do not restrict other person that much as in relationship.

When you are single you still have the freedom to experience companionship.

[thepixelmonk]

11 hours ago, Eyowey said:

My definition of cheating is a bit broader than most people. When a girl knows about my existence but shows interest in a guy who's not me I consider that cheating. I don't call it cheating but it's in the same basket so to speak. It should not be forgiven because it's the ultimate betrayal. 

lmao you are completely psycho.

[Sucuk Ekmek]

5 hours ago, Arthogaan said:

Personally my girl can't cheat on me, because I do not restrict any of her freedom because I love her unconditionally. 

For me it's this way: Personally my girl can cheat on me, because I do not restrict any of her freedom because I love her unconditionally.

It's not a game for me to win and conquer but to lose.

13 hours ago, Eyowey said:

When a girl knows about my existence but shows interest in a guy who's not me I consider that cheating. I don't call it cheating but it's in the same basket so to speak. 

I like the way you create girls 

[LastThursday]

6 hours ago, Arthogaan said:

Relationships are just contracts to restrict one's freedom in some extent to gain the feeling of security and companionship.

 

3 hours ago, Arthogaan said:

When you are single you still have the freedom to experience companionship.

Which is it? I listed companionship as a freedom, because you mentioned it as a consequence of restriction.

When you're in a relationship the dynamic changes from when you're single. You're not free to see other people (unless you explicitly agree it upfront). But there are compensating freedoms, such as having someone care about you, financial stability, sense of purpose; I could go on. So if you cheat, then you could potentially forfeit those relationship freedoms.

Freedom is never absolute, there's always strings attached, even if you're single, even if you're in an open relationship.

[Arthogaan]

8 hours ago, LastThursday said:

 

Which is it? I listed companionship as a freedom, because you mentioned it as a consequence of restriction.

When you're in a relationship the dynamic changes from when you're single. You're not free to see other people (unless you explicitly agree it upfront). But there are compensating freedoms, such as having someone care about you, financial stability, sense of purpose; I could go on. So if you cheat, then you could potentially forfeit those relationship freedoms.

Freedom is never absolute, there's always strings attached, even if you're single, even if you're in an open relationship.

Yes I understand seeming contradiction.

 

But what I mean is in relationship people sacrifice their freedom in exchange for companionship, safety and other things you mention. But actually there is no necesarilly the need to restrict the freedom to have those things.

You can have companionship, intimacy, financial help with someone who you do not restrict at all, which is extremelly rare and unpractical for most people but still technically true. That you do not need to restrict anything, you do not have to have any rules in the contract to still gain all the benefits.

All the rules are just there to gain the benefits without having to fight with certain insecurities like jealousy. And again that is quite beautifull to restrict the freedom of two people so we can start havig the stability benefits now, before we heal our insecuirites about jealousy, but for many people relationships then become excuses for those insecurities.

[BlessedLion]

Be honest about it. Cheating is a spineless act. Just be honest that you’re attracted to other people and maybe your girl will be open to a three sum open relationship or taking a break. If not, then break up, but don’t fuck her over by being a snake. Plus it will eat you up. Guilt sucks 

[Eternal Unity]

@Manusia Unmoral. Those people disrespect what they are given and try to live some other life which they fantasize about. They had to think about it before they got involved in the specific relationship. And if they are married, that is already too late to turn back without causing serious damage to the family circle.

[BlessedLion]

Yesterday I met a woman who just got divorced because the guy cheated. They have a 3 year old child now who will live with separated parents, and now any other kids they might have had will not exist and what could’ve been a beautiful family will not exist because he thought it wasn’t a big deal. So yeah….

[thepixelmonk]

16 hours ago, BlessedLion said:

Be honest about it. Cheating is a spineless act. Just be honest that you’re attracted to other people and maybe your girl will be open to a three sum open relationship or taking a break. If not, then break up, but don’t fuck her over by being a snake. Plus it will eat you up. Guilt sucks 

Exactly this. It's just straight up a completely spineless act. Don't kid yourself otherwise.

[universe]

Oftentimes it's one of the later symptoms of a relationship turning bad a long time ago.

So if you think the relationship isn't good anymore just end it before you cheat.

But if you think the relationship can be saved be truthful to your partner about what you do and how you see things.