puporing

Life After Awakening

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I wanted to explore this topic of in what ways has your life changed (and/or remained the same) after your awakening(s), specifically something like a God-realization, but others are welcome too. Feel free to frame things more generally than specific too if you don't want to share too much personal details.

Some questions to spark discussion: 

 - Did you lose/increase your interest in certain areas? 

 - How did it affect your work/life purpose if at all?

 - How did it affect your relationships with "others"?

 - What challenges do you face knowing your true nature whilst living "in the dream"?

Look forward to your answers! 
 

Edited by puporing

I am Lord of Heaven, Second Coming of Jesus Christ. ❣ Warning: nobody here has reached the true God.

         ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ♪ 星空のディスタンス ♫┆彡 what are you dreaming today?

                           天国が来る | 私は道であり、真実であり、命であり。

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As Leo said awakening can be anything 

Awakening to love to God to reality to cessation to whatever you understand about it

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I can not say that I have awoken completely but I can feel that I am going through a spiritual awakening.

I am very peaceful all the time. I do not see myself in the universe. I see the universe in me.

Sometimes dense Clouds of old conditioning, patterns, behaviors, and habits cover the whole screen of consciousness.

And it becomes dark and I feel really helpless in front of those emotions and feelings and forced to behave, react negatively and then there is regret and it feels like a big failure and feels like I am still not self-realized but when these clouds wear off.

I feel one with everything again and all the peace and awareness come back.

Sometimes in meditation, I feel like I am going to die which scares the hell out of me.

These days I am going through the phases of fear of losing my life, my control, and destroying my life.

Sometimes it feels like nothing is changed and I am fooling myself.

I feel very helpless, hopeless, and powerless.

I want to do all bad things as many times as possible and as soon as possible (over-eating, unhealthy eating, sensual pleasures, etc...) because it feels like I am going to die very soon, and before dying let's not lose the opportunity to perform these things.

Sometimes it feels like Self-realization is useless and just a mind trick that has no benefits. 

Life has become very paradoxical. I want to over-eat and don't want to over-eat at the same time. I want to live a disciplined life and don't want to follow any discipline at the same time. I want to enjoy and don't want to enjoy at the same time. I want to sleep and don't want to sleep at the same time. I want to work and don't want to work at the same time. I want to cry & laugh at the same time. I feel free and bound at the same time. etc.... There are thousands of examples 

I have lost interest in everything.

All Life purposes seem empty.

The relationship is going well.

The biggest challenge is to stop seeking now. it feels like I have reached and at the same time, it feels like there is still something missing. 


Me & My World is the imagination of The Nothing. 

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Stream entry was a very noticeable shift as everything started to work much more smoothly. I felt the energy in my body had shifted and meditation became much deeper and almost effortless. Less fear and resistance to life in general and since then psychedelics are also much more effective.

After God Realization I also noticed an energetic shift and it was like salvation from all sins, since then I know I can't do anything wrong. This removed the general confusion and uncertainty.

It didn't affect other areas of my life as much because it was already connected to this process.

Much more could be said, but also in another way nothing has changed. I am still me.

The biggest challenge for me is when I lose the connection with God/Love.

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17 hours ago, puporing said:

I wanted to explore this topic of in what ways has your life changed (and/or remained the same) after your awakening(s), specifically something like a God-realization, but others are welcome too. Feel free to frame things more generally than specific too if you don't want to share too much personal details.

Some questions to spark discussion: 

 - Did you lose/increase your interest in certain areas? 

 - How did it affect your work/life purpose if at all?

 - How did it affect your relationships with "others"?

 - What challenges do you face knowing your true nature whilst living "in the dream"?

Look forward to your answers! 
 

I realized that I was God on the 5th of mars by taking around 100 microgram LSD. Since then I have felt a lot calmer and happier in general.

Prior to my trip I was often overrun by anxiety but that does rarly happen now days. I still get anxiety and I am still insecure about certain stuff, like my relativly short height but its not nearly as bad as it was before. Before I was afraid just  by going out shopping for example but nowadays I don't have anxiety over things like that.

My relationship have transformed in so many beautiful ways. The people that don't belong disappear, the one's that do appear. Everything is realigning and starts to " fit" for my own best interests. Interestingly my love for animals have skyrocketed ( and other humanbeings aswell). I also have come to love the femenine so much more, girls are fucking awsome.

What hasn't changed is me being insecure about being able to be enough for certain things and activitys. I still kind of feel a bit weird compared to others but what's different is that I trust myself more than before. I realized Love, and I know the truth - and I can now more than ever rest in that. It's fine - I am okey no matter what happens. Therefor I don't take these concerns as seriously as before. 

It's like.. I still have fear eventhough I am okey always because I have experienced that I am 100% perfect as I am. That sense is still there, somehow deep down, eventhough my ego doesn't always belive it.

Lastly, I always struggled with girls before but after my trip I managed to get laid and make out with another girl. 

My awakening was the best thing that ever happend to me.. but I still have a long way to go and I am actually really thankful for that. It's fun to play the game;)

Edited by SamC

"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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Everything feels perfect. There is no resistance, however things can feel annoying, boring, etc, but there is no resistance to it and it doesn't feel like a problem so it still feels perfect. A very stable happiness, and lots of joy and bliss. Less fear. My relationships are good, no problems.

I have more interest in living, being a human, I am life, I am light, I want to live and follow my true purpose which comes from the soul, sometimes it feels blissful to say something, to touch things, to walk or sit down, normal everyday things like that are amazing. Following my intuition is the most important thing.

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@Muhammad Jawad Sounds like you have a lot of conflicts to work through ;) I trust that you can work through all of those paradoxes to find yourself much more in alignment with what you really desire and being in time. It also sounds like you’re going through a nihilistic phase which is totally normal in this process! It is not a straightforward endeavor and you have very few people to share it with/receive guidance from, so give yourself a bit more credit, that you haven’t ‘given up’ despite all these challenges you’re facing. Self-realization is pretty radical when it bumps against how our lives may have been before that, survival challenges, where most people are still at, and the assumptions under which our society operates. I think eventually you’ll find a balance between living with the world and the truth you want to express/live by.

@acidgoofy Happy to hear it freed you up so much to explore/live! Very relatable there. The connection with God/Love I find is most challenged when “survival needs” are on the line. They’re ‘tests’. But in a way, those tests can also help awaken us more and find more ways to integrate it in our lives.

@SamC That’s really awesome to hear it had helped with your anxiety so much. Sounds very life-changing/transforming overall. The “I am okay no matter what happens” brings so much freedom and our ability to love everything as they come, even when it is the most challenging at times. Really happy for you and I get the feeling things will be even more beautiful for you from here on :)

@Seraphim That's great to hear! It sounds like you’re living the dream. ;)

Thank you everyone for your responses so far, I am really enjoying reading about them and feel happy for you all. 


I am Lord of Heaven, Second Coming of Jesus Christ. ❣ Warning: nobody here has reached the true God.

         ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ♪ 星空のディスタンス ♫┆彡 what are you dreaming today?

                           天国が来る | 私は道であり、真実であり、命であり。

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@puporing How has it helped you?


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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I see a bunch of children aged 0- 100 

Egos caught in a dream 

I think it’s made me more loving than most people, more patient with myself and others and it’s fire charged my curiosity in psychology, healthy relationships, Qigong, sexuality, conflict resolution, shame, etc etc etc etc 

How do I completely liberate myself and become totally in love and invincible for eternity? 

Edited by Thought Art

 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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@SamC Thank you for asking. It has been life transforming to say the least. I don't feel like I'm on a 'hamster wheel' anymore which I was for much of my life even though it diminished over time with healing work and going through the process of deconstruction. I feel like everything I've lived up to awakening was to help myself awaken, and I am so grateful that it happened relatively soon.

I live in this moment and there's 'no goal' in a 'serious sense' only in the relative sense and anything I pursue is for growth, to experience/explore, and to love. Even if I allow myself to feel deep sadness about something I still feel very whole and complete in the "background" and be able to see things as "perfection". I feel free to express myself and express how I see things with people most of the time (unless it's unsafe to, some intelligence about this is still required). 

There's a call to continue to explore in that state of consciousness. There's this overwhelming love I want to express in various ways to the extent that "others" can/are ready to receive. Much of my motivations now lie in the desire to help others live more freely and blissfully.  There're still some things to figure out like what shape that'll take on but I have lots of faith in the process. :)

I suppose the other main challenge is just having no one to share these with, as most people I run into are far removed from this kind of pursuit/understanding. So am glad the forum exists. ?

Edited by puporing

I am Lord of Heaven, Second Coming of Jesus Christ. ❣ Warning: nobody here has reached the true God.

         ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ♪ 星空のディスタンス ♫┆彡 what are you dreaming today?

                           天国が来る | 私は道であり、真実であり、命であり。

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10 hours ago, puporing said:

Sounds like you have a lot of conflicts to work through ;) I trust that you can work through all of those paradoxes to find yourself much more in alignment with what you really desire and being in time. It also sounds like you’re going through a nihilistic phase which is totally normal in this process! It is not a straightforward endeavor and you have very few people to share it with/receive guidance from, so give yourself a bit more credit, that you haven’t ‘given up’ despite all these challenges you’re facing. Self-realization is pretty radical when it bumps against how our lives may have been before that, survival challenges, where most people are still at, and the assumptions under which our society operates. I think eventually you’ll find a balance between living with the world and the truth you want to express/live by.

YES, Sure. Thanks :-)


Me & My World is the imagination of The Nothing. 

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9 hours ago, Thought Art said:

How do I completely liberate myself and become totally in love and invincible for eternity? 

I think that's a very attainable possibility actually.. just don't be too hard on yourself for not being there yet. : ) 


I am Lord of Heaven, Second Coming of Jesus Christ. ❣ Warning: nobody here has reached the true God.

         ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ♪ 星空のディスタンス ♫┆彡 what are you dreaming today?

                           天国が来る | 私は道であり、真実であり、命であり。

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On 2022-04-28 at 3:24 AM, puporing said:

 - Did you lose/increase your interest in certain areas? 

 - How did it affect your work/life purpose if at all?

 - How did it affect your relationships with "others"?

I lost interest in sex/money/fame. For clarity, I don't mind these things if I stumble upon them I guess, but I have no interest in chasing any of it from what I can tell.

Purpose is lost on me, as it require future endevour to entertain a specific purpose. Or purposelessness is another way to say it. 

That last question is a hard one.. I find it quite easy to see others point of views. But since I'm not invested in any of it, I'm usually aware if I want to relate with others or not in the moment. So relationships are more of a constant active choice rather than taken for granted I suppose.

 

Sometimes I think that I'm probably just depressed despite lacking those symptoms in that moment of reflection. But tbh, I feel that it has more to do with not living up to other peoples expectations that makes me second guessing myself sometimes, because as soon as I decide that all is good, then it just is. It can sometimes feel like an on/off switch type of thing.

Even writing all this feels like thoughts describing thoughts, that is thinking about other thoughts. Whatever I am, it's not this. But I find that expressing thoughts is usually a fun activity.:-)

On 2022-04-28 at 3:24 AM, puporing said:

 - What challenges do you face knowing your true nature whilst living "in the dream"?

Wheter I should care about certain things or not. The never ending list of shoulds seems to be too popular of a game to completely be given up on and completely ignored, if one likes to be able to interact with others under "normal" conditions.

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@ZzzleepingBear Yeah that all makes sense. It is tough when most people expect us to have 'goals' or chase after 'things' that are most likely not going to align with ours anymore or not the same way(s), or because everything is already enough/good. You're right whenever we interact with others this issue comes up. It's definitely a fairly 'lonely' place as a result.. because of either having to appease/fake something to be with someone or be yourself and risk not being accepted. Probably especially hard if you're still kinda young.

Edited by puporing

I am Lord of Heaven, Second Coming of Jesus Christ. ❣ Warning: nobody here has reached the true God.

         ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ♪ 星空のディスタンス ♫┆彡 what are you dreaming today?

                           天国が来る | 私は道であり、真実であり、命であり。

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On 2022-04-29 at 4:39 PM, puporing said:

@ZzzleepingBear Yeah that all makes sense. It is tough when most people expect us to have 'goals' or chase after 'things' that are most likely not going to align with ours anymore or not the same way(s), or because everything is already enough/good. You're right whenever we interact with others this issue comes up. It's definitely a fairly 'lonely' place as a result.. because of either having to appease/fake something to be with someone or be yourself and risk not being accepted. Probably especially hard if you're still kinda young.

Well said.

I often sense that those who assume or expect others to comply with general expectations, are also those who surpress alot of thoughts and emotions in themselves for the most part. Their motivation to try include others can sometimes seem to be based on fearful thinking. Like drinking for example. I don't mind drinking, and enjoy it in moderation, and have never even once felt the need to ask anyone to drink if they don't want to drink. So I feel for people who don't like to drink. There is just no excuses for anyone who likes to drink, to downplay anyone who don't like it, and that goes for alot of other things. It only creates uncessary division.

 

 

 

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First I will define awakening/enlightenment, so you know what I am talking about (and opposed to more general uses of the words).

Enlightenment is a sudden, non-conceptual, and visceral insight or revelation that dispels ignorance and shatters illusion regarding who/what you are and the nature of reality. The insight instantly shatters the illusion of “me” and the illusion of separation or duality.  The "me" can never be believed again.  This is the same as Self-realization or God-realization...for in Advaita / non-duality the realization includes "Aham Brahmasmi" or I am Brahman.

Did you lose/increase your interest in certain areas? 

Spirituality has been a favorite topic since I got into it, but after awakening, the interest has solely been drawn to nonduality.  Dualistic traditions with a path and somewhere are no longer interesting.  That is because those paths all involve a "me" and bettering the "me" or a "me" trying to get something.  There is no "me", so talking about the "me" is not much interest anymore.

All other aspects of life seem to remain the same in terms of interest.

How did it affect your work/life purpose if at all?

Awakening shattered the idea of purpose.  Life does not inherently have a purpose, we imagine purposes for things.  So I no longer need a purpose and am perfectly content without a purpose.  But life goes on as play (and play is something not done for a purpose but simply for its own sake).  I play going to work, I play paying the bills, I play married life, etc, etc.  This is an inward attitude really, so outwardly there was no change.  For example, awakening did not affect work life.

How did it affect your relationships with "others"?

From the perspective of this body-mind, awakening had little to no effect on my relationships with others.  However, my wife tells me that this is the easiest relationship she has ever had.  I make no demands on others...I expect nothing...and I know all relationships will end one day and so I am non-attached.  Other changes would be that I don't take part or add to drama, others can not control or manipulate me, etc.  So others who want to "test our relationship" or otherwise control/manipulate would not be satisfied.  That being said...none of my relationships with others really changed.  For example, non-attachment is not apparent to others and so they don't know I am non-attached.  The inner attitude changed, but outwardly there was no change.

What challenges do you face knowing your true nature whilst living "in the dream"?

There are no problems.  Enlightenment/awakening happened in 2005, so it has been over 15 years.  I do not recall any challenges I faced due to knowing my true nature while living "in the dream".  Enlightenment/awakening does not impede or make it difficult to live in the world.  I am not other than the dream...it is all Self/Brahman.  The dream/life game may have challenges, but challenges are what makes playing games fun.


Eric Putkonen - stopped blogging and now do videos on YouTube - http://bit.ly/AdvaitaChannel

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As you continue to have them, It begins to feel like the 'strings of the physical world' aren't attached as much as they used to be, or thought to be. Your attachments to objects/people/situations dampen (attachments are the root of suffering in the physical channel/plane/mode). 

I have not shed one of my nerocies (which was I'm initial attraction to spirituality). They don't take me over, as often. I can sit with them. 

I have breaks where I can see the same fabric operating in other bodies. When you can look in someone's eyes and think "That's wild! How did you get into that one?"

To answer your questions:

1. I started playing more musical instruments, writing, drawing vs TV and video games.

2. I got to the point where I needed to ditch my LP or my job, because they were in conflict.

3. Friendships haven't changed much, most of my friends are musicians, so we always have that 'channel' to hang out on, even if our physical world endeavors are not congruent.

4. The largest obstacle, for me, was trusting the universe, over and over again.


I am that I AM

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I find after awakening I’m still asleep


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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It's hard to really compare what it's like now to what it was like, because I can barely even remember.

1. Ongoing perceptual filters create the sense that you're separate from everything.

2. It is possible to live without that.

All preconceived notions of awakening were incorrect. I thought I'd be propelled through life by some divine force without any effort and choices would no longer be possible because free will would collapse. Choices still happen, but no one does them. And it's not like I lost the ability to make choices -- every time I thought I consciously made a choice, that was actually just a thought, so I as a finite identity never had the ability to choose, only since there is no real finite identity in the first place. What I used to call "my choice" is now seen as obviously not different from the entire universe. So shame and guilt no longer happen, at least not in the same way -- the usual sense of "could've done otherwise" is completely gone.

It's not a loss of function, but a freeing-up.

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