What's with older guys (10+ yrs older) approaching much younger women?

[Roy]

2 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Did it ever bother you?

No I don't analyze stuff like that too much. All that matters to me is chemistry and attraction.

4 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Seems like you're a catch to more experienced ladies hahah

I guess I have a boyish charm 

[K Ghoul]

Just now, Medhansh said:

What's wrong with 19??

The suffix -teen is making me uncomfortable.

It didn’t last thou - looks-wise everyone thought the age was in reverse as if I was the younger 21yo one, but the age gap was really a problem in terms of interests, outlook on life, maturity etc. definitely not meant for anything serious  Imagine us in 20-30 years? Lol I’m a strong believer that a man has to be older.

[Truth-Seeker]

9 hours ago, Gianna said:

But what about outside of a nightclub? And outside/before any dinner date? 
 

Most guys just want sex. This is natural.

However, as I got older (26 currently), I started to think that if a girl is an airhead but hot, I would only want sex, but if she is deep and spiritual and has only a small amount of toxic behavioural patterns from past traumas, then I will want sex and a whole relationship.

Sadly, most girls I met (AND I MET A LOT) are either airheads, or toxic from trauma.

I live in a country with heavy COVID restrictions still after 2 years since this bullshit started and it's cold as fuck outside, so I can't do pickup yet... I want to do pickup soon to meet more girls day to day. I tried online dating. I got around 150 matches (I am a good looking guy I guess, I workout a lot and take care of myself) but only 25 of them were at the level of beauty I really liked (7s, 8s, and 9s) but those never respond and when they do, they aren't interested. So after the weather gets warmer and the country scraps restrictions, I will go do this stuff and get either laid with a hot airhead or in a relationship with a spiritual/deep girl LMAO. 

[Raptorsin7]

1 hour ago, somegirl said:

I actually do not want to have negative  beliefs about this topic. And I mostly have positive experiences (I don't hold extreme negative beliefs at all) and wonderful male friends. But I just don't get intentions of much older guys... Why do they approach much younger girls? (apart from looks) What is wrong with girls their own age, or girls around their age range? Why they have a need to be with someone with much less experience than them? That obviously creates an imbalance in power and dynamics. He has more advantage than her in this case. He can easily use his accumulated knowledge and sell her any kinds of stories (because he knows that she doesn't know better because of her lack of experience), only if he wants to. And he has to be a saint not to do that. 
 

I think part of the reason is men tend to be attracted to young woman because of peak beauty, fertility, etc and so if a man is looking for woman based on her sexual desirability (which I think a lot of men do) then they will preferentially pursue younger woman.

A man who's 35+ plus will likely be most turned on by woman who are 20-30ish and so that's where he will put his attention. Also men at that age may be unconsciously attracted to the desire for children, and older woman will be screened out because of fertility decline 

It's like how woman are attracted to certain masculine traits like confidence, leadership, ability to provide etc and so those traits are always desired by woman. It just so happens that part of a womans sexual value peaks at a younger age.

I do think there is much more subjectivity possible for attraction so maybe this dynamic can be transcended and men can learn to see a 40 year old woman as equally sexually desirable as her 20 year old self, but Idk how to make this possible and the vast majority of people don't live according to that view sadly.

[K Ghoul]

1 hour ago, Medhansh said:

It could be. Most guys my age are testosterone-charged, estrogen-starved species and think through their dicks. I am no exception. 

Every life stage/phase comes with certain specifics, yep

 

Since your life has just begun here’s some words of wisdom that I managed to collect from my life experience- never buy into anyone’s ideas of how you’re supposed to live life, find your way/what works for you and stay true to yourself because there will be social pressures. Listening to others is a road to misery. Create your own rules based on your vision not anyone else’s 

 

[Loving Radiance]

10 hours ago, Roy said:

All that matters to me is chemistry and attraction.

Right on ?

[something_else]

10 hours ago, Medhansh said:

I mean, who got laid by discussing spiral dynamics with a girl?

Funny you say that, someone posted here at one point that talking about spiral dynamics with a girl actually got them laid. I can’t remember who or when but someone definitely said it 

You can get laid talking about anything tbh, it’s rarely about what you say but more how you say it. I’m sure you’ve heard that already though

[K Ghoul]

29 minutes ago, Loba said:

Damn, I am so sorry to hear that your poor mum and you, did she manage to get away from him?

Yea, she ended up leaving him. It might have solved her problems but not mine - single mother working all days while her child is being raised by strangers, snatched by pedophiles, and learning about life from the street. And based on all the horrible stories that she told me about my father I would have rather been raised by him tbh we seemed to have a lot more in common

 

[gettoefl]

the older you get the more financially secure you get in general

at that point should i devote all my resources and energies to kith and kin

or maybe i can indulge some agreeable younger person who is not as secure financially

my hard won experience will complement their youthful exuberance

win win

[K Ghoul]

@Loba no grandparents

 

The point I was trying to emphasize is that women hold the power, and it comes from within. Women’s role is to inspire them to do good and be good. Without us they would be complete degenerates ))))

[somegirl]

@Raptorsin7 Well I refuse to be told what my value as a female is and how it increases or decreases with age. I define my own value, thank you. 

[PurpleTree]

2 hours ago, K Ghoul said:

Yea, she ended up leaving him. It might have solved her problems but not mine - single mother working all days while her child is being raised by strangers, snatched by pedophiles, and learning about life from the street. And based on all the horrible stories that she told me about my father I would have rather been raised by him tbh we seemed to have a lot more in common

 

i'm like you bro minus the pedophiles

single, working, mentally not very stable moms, no grandparents

it's not a good start, but we have achieved something right? we became forumers doing the postings on the internet and people thought we'd amount to nothing hihihi

[somegirl]

@Loba Girl, I am all for girl power and supporting each other, but so far by the comments I have seen, you might be holding some extreme negative beliefs about men. We're not here to argue that ALL men are bad, but we question certain stuff and get answers from opposite sex so we can better understand them. Though that's okay, I'm not perfect either, this is why we're on this site after all - to improve.

[K Ghoul]

8 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

i'm like you bro minus the pedophiles

single, working, mentally not very stable moms, no grandparents

it's not a good start, but we have achieved something right? we became forumers doing the postings on the internet and people thought we'd amount to nothing hihihi

i loooove sperging out on the interwebs 

[somegirl]

4 minutes ago, Loba said:

Fair.  I like that you can have a different opinion than me but not hit below the belt, that's cool, thanks.

On top of that, this might not be the place to learn that "men are decent people".

Hahah maybe, I understand.
I also understand why someone might hold such beliefs as well. We have to take into account the history that has treated women like a property and basically just a thing that only produces kids. (this is also my theory as to why we see more aggressive/masculine women nowadays, especially on the west, earning more money, being more ambitious etc...). Times are thankfully changing now and guys are following as well.

[Etherial Cat]

7 hours ago, Loba said:

@Etherial Cat This dating section is super below the belt when it comes to opinions it doesn't like, I ended up bowing out because I have other things to focus on than argue here.  I literally don't have the time, tell me people, where are you finding the extra time for that?

I don't know. I suppose I am trapped in the same dynamic as a lib baffled at Fox news. Even some thread titles sounds like triggering clickbait. 

Edited February 12, 2022 by Etherial Cat

[something_else]

16 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

This dating section is super below the belt when it comes to opinions it doesn't like, I ended up bowing out because I have other things to focus on than argue here.  I literally don't have the time, tell me people, where are you finding the extra time for that?

@Loba Lol, this is itself a below the belt attack

Edited February 12, 2022 by something_else

[K Ghoul]

@Federico del pueblo thread got locked 

It’s just the OP talked with such grandiosity about hell and inner darkness and how a strong man will possess the monster and not let the monster possess him blah blah so I was being sarcastic. I’m being quite suspicious in terms of him owning said darkness or even knowing what it is - in my experience the men who are these grandiose been-through-hell are big on paper yet are anything but scared little boys in practice. 
 

 

6 hours ago, somegirl said:

Hahah maybe, I understand.
I also understand why someone might hold such beliefs as well. We have to take into account the history that has treated women like a property and basically just a thing that only produces kids. (this is also my theory as to why we see more aggressive/masculine women nowadays, especially on the west, earning more money, being more ambitious etc...). Times are thankfully changing now and guys are following as well.

@somegirl when you say times are changing and guys are following as well - what do you mean by that?

[Federico del pueblo]

46 minutes ago, K Ghoul said:

@Federico del pueblo thread got locked 

It’s just the OP talked with such grandiosity about hell and inner darkness and how a strong man will possess the monster and not let the monster possess him blah blah so I was being sarcastic. I’m being quite suspicious in terms of him owning said darkness or even knowing what it is - in my experience the men who are these grandiose been-through-hell are big on paper yet are anything but scared little boys in practice. 

Ah ok, could be true, but I don't know, I'm not gonna speculate about it.

And I was here thinking that your "free pass to hell" is something like a 1-2 hours long session with you where you torture a guy with different instruments or whatever. 

And I was wondering why you would offer such a service for free, some guys would probably pay money for it (just so they can grow from it) ?

[K Ghoul]

2 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Ah ok, could be true, but I don't know, I'm not gonna speculate about it.

And I was here thinking that your "free pass to hell" is something like a 1-2 hours long session with you where you torture a guy with different instruments or whatever. 

And I was wondering why you would offer such a service for free, some guys would probably pay money for it (just so they can grow from it) ?

Oohhh right, me being the domina, the unfulfilled dream of mine haha I see why you got curious about why I’m offering a free pass when I already promised you that you would be my first client   alas, I still haven’t ventured into the dark world of kink and torture