SelfHelpGuy

How to “integrally” daygame?

25 posts in this topic

Hey, so there’s a clash with my integrity when it comes to daygame.

 

When the inevitable question comes up “So what are you up to?” 
I lie and say something like “oh I’m meeting friends or going to the shop”

But no, in truth - what I’m really doing today is talking to girls that pass by on the street. I come out 3 times a week and do 10 approachs each time.

 

Now, I’m debating on testing out an “honest day game” where I’ll simply say something like “to tell you truth, today I’m talking to beautiful women, it’s a fear I’d like to overcome” 

But the funny thing is, if I went to bar or club - I wouldn’t say the same thing if I was asked why I’m out. I’d just say “oh just going for a night out, meeting people”

 

So I’m torn here- it seems that there is this “untruth” involved with pickup/dating  in general. But my highest value is “authenticity”  and “integrity” (like that of Socrates) 

 

Is there a way to integrally Daygame? Or at least a “most integral way”?

Thank you guys,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Funny that you say that, that reminds me of one of my friends from the past, he used to say "when you're trying to get a chick, while talking to her, just keep making stuff up, keep bragging about your accomplishments to make yourself look cool" obviously he wasn't master at the game or anything like that, but he still got few girls interested in him that way. Not saying you should do it that way, he was/is very insecure person.

The truth is, honesty in and of itself is not really rewarded. You gotta go with some lies, especially in the beggining when you're not, let's say, that cool of a dude. At the same time though, in some way game is also about honesty, since you have to honestly show that you are interested in her/make your intentions clear. So with game, it's a mixed bag.

However, maybe your goal is not to maximize your results, but living 100% authentically. Then I'd go with the true "I approach beautiful women to overcome my fear" story. Some girls may actually appreciate the honesty, though on paper it's not really that cool.

 

Edited by Knowledge Hoarder

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Yes. Don't pester women going about their day in environments that aren't normally that sociable like a street or a mall

At least don't make a habit of it, do it if you're out naturally and see a girl you find attractive

If you wanna spam approach girls go to a club, it's basically why they exist

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@Knowledge Hoarder Fantastic reply man, that's a good point. 

Yeah I'm more interested in complete integrity. 

I also understand that daygame itself can be a bit intsuive which is another sticking point.

I myself dislike it if I'm intereracted with randomly, even seeing someone I know - sometimes I just wanna go the shop and go home. 

So out of consideration for peoples space would nightgame be a more integral option?

People go to a night club/bar for socialising and there's a higher degree of social consensus to mingle and chat with new people. 

Thoughts?

 

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@something_else Interesting, yes I'm contemplating this. 

Take a look at my reply here: 

Just now, SelfHelpGuy said:

@Knowledge Hoarder Fantastic reply man, that's a good point. 

Yeah I'm more interested in complete integrity. 

I also understand that daygame itself can be a bit intsuive which is another sticking point.

I myself dislike it if I'm intereracted with randomly, even seeing someone I know - sometimes I just wanna go the shop and go home. 

So out of consideration for peoples space would nightgame be a more integral option?

People go to a night club/bar for socialising and there's a higher degree of social consensus to mingle and chat with new people. 

Thoughts?

 

 

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I think you have some underlying shame and insecurity about getting your needs met. Little white lies and stuff like this shouldn’t bother as much as it sounds it does. This is a matter of beliefs and stuff you are holding onto and seeing the world through. All the same you could say “just walking around and enjoying my afternoon.” You don’t have to say that meeting friends stuff. You could just say I gotta go. There is always a level of cordial disclosure when it comes to interacting with strangers. You are at no liberty to disclose all that stuff and tbh I would not say you are approaching women on the street like that. It’s just socially weird. Maybe it won’t blow you out but I think you are overthinking this all a bit too much cause you’re nervous about approaching women and then it’s sending you to your head and you are then finding yourself in this cycle about feeling guilty about saying some white lie no one cares about cause you wanna add some social lubrication to the situation. What you gotta do is dig deeper here and resolve more of your self esteem and emotional stuff. You’ll find yourself just saying things congruent (and more truthful ) to how you feel the more emotionally healthy you feel inside. 

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I think you have a somewhat narrow idea of integrity and truthfulness when applied to this domain of life. I’m not trying to twist it but this very dry, masculine, precise form of communication is not always the most honest either. There are other ways that are just as truthful. You gotta follow your heart. I’ve noticed what women consider to be the truth especially in relationships can be kinda different in an odd way i quite don’t understand myself.  Often it has more grey to it and doesn’t have the same sort of sharp corners found in how men interpret integrity and truthfulness. I would say seeing all these differences and learning how to navigate and bridge them is the sign of a master. Lead with your heart, tap into your own feminine to learn. Look at her and take in her beauty and try to let your heart guide the dialogue, not pick up lines you heard in a video being recited from your head. 

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50 minutes ago, SelfHelpGuy said:

@Knowledge Hoarder Fantastic reply man, that's a good point. 

Yeah I'm more interested in complete integrity. 

I also understand that daygame itself can be a bit intsuive which is another sticking point.

I myself dislike it if I'm intereracted with randomly, even seeing someone I know - sometimes I just wanna go the shop and go home. 

So out of consideration for peoples space would nightgame be a more integral option?

People go to a night club/bar for socialising and there's a higher degree of social consensus to mingle and chat with new people. 

Thoughts?

 

You can stick to night game if you want. But, if you're looking at it from the difficulty and social consensus POV, I feel like you're doing yourself a disservice. Because, game is pretty much anti social consensus, if you think about it. There's no sign on a nightclub that says "here's a place to get laid" or "here's a place to chat and get to know people". Sure, people generally go there to get these needs met, but that doesn't necessarilly mean you are encouraged to do that, if you know what I mean.

You might be surprised how many people wanna be interacted with throught day to day life, in a fun and socially calibrated way, though they don't look that way. Everyone wants to experience fun and memorable times, but nobody wants to make it actually happen. Think about it this way, by interacting with people during day game, you can essentially make people's days better. You can make a girl's day better by genuinely complimenting her too. And that can have compound effect on the quality of their lives. Just a food for thought.

Imagine if someone new genuinely complimented you every day, or made you laugh, or made you smile. How would you feel after a month?

Ideally, you wanna be doing both day game and night game. Getting success with women is not just a skill game, but most importantly numbers game. The more you approach/interact, the more you get/close.

Edited by Knowledge Hoarder

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"So what are you up to?"

"Talking to a cute girl."

"You hit on all the cute girls here?"

"Only you baby. You're my one, I promise. I'm just a shy virgin ;)"

- - - - 

Learn frame control!


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Lyubov Woah, very good.

That does partially encapsulate myself, insecurities do arise which I'm in the process of working through. 

I do have a very sincere interest in truth/authenticity which perhaps has overblown and cooped some of my deeper insecurities. 

Thanks for helping me see that!

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Just tell them that you're going for a walk. Even if your primary goal is day game, it's not a lie to say that you're also going for a walk. Going for a walk is a normal thing that normal people do.

Even a white lie like saying you're going to the shop isn't that out of integrity I don't think. Just don't be a creep and force women to engage in conversations too long if they're obviously uncomfortable and you already have more integrity than most guys.

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Become a man that women are sexually attracted to .. so that all parties win (you and the girls).

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i think you're using the word integral wrong. integrous might be better 

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Dont make the mistsake of being "Absolutely honest" in dating. Or, do It But only if you know how to "own It" .

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

"So what are you up to?"

"Talking to a cute girl."

"You hit on all the cute girls here?"

"Only you baby. You're my one, I promise. I'm just a shy virgin ;)"

- - - - 

Learn frame control!

😏👏


All an imagination baby --

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10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

"So what are you up to?"

"Talking to a cute girl."

"You hit on all the cute girls here?"

"Only you baby. You're my one, I promise. I'm just a shy virgin ;)"

- - - - 

Learn frame control!

What advantage will I get by framing myself as a shy virgin?

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21 minutes ago, Medhansh said:

What advantage will I get by framing myself as a shy virgin?

You're being too literal

By confidently proclaiming that you're a shy virgin you actually give the impression that you're the exact opposite

It's not about the literal words you say, it's how they're said

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1 hour ago, something_else said:

You're being too literal

By confidently proclaiming that you're a shy virgin you actually give the impression that you're the exact opposite

It's not about the literal words you say, it's how they're said

Okay, got it.

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15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

"So what are you up to?"

"Talking to a cute girl."

"You hit on all the cute girls here?"

"Only you baby. You're my one, I promise. I'm just a shy virgin ;)"

- - - - 

Learn frame control!

I need to learn more about this "frame" idea. 


✿ஜீ۞ஜீ✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•ஜீ☼۞۞☼ஜீ•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿ஜீ۞ஜீ✿

What assumptions am I making right now? 

✿ஜீ۞ஜீ✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•ஜீ☼۞۞☼ஜீ•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿ஜீ۞ஜீ✿

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