Raptorsin7

Life Progress

765 posts in this topic

@DrewNows I have a question for you.

How come simply being aware isn't enough to bring happiness and bliss?

I think I clearly understand the neo advaita teaching of bring attention to the simplicity of being aware or being conscious at all. And I can notice some energetic shifts when I do this, but I still haven't reached LSD levels of clarity and bliss, even though I'm pretty sure I am doing the techniques properly.

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Raptor i am changing the response, the secret lies in the breath- change diet, lifestyle, clear energy and release attachment, the techniques are guides like everything else, be the boss, the authority, figure out what’s in way 

usually there’s karma and reprogramming needed, transformations 

Edited by DrewNows

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11 hours ago, DrewNows said:

Raptor i am changing the response, the secret lies in the breath- change diet, lifestyle, clear energy and release attachment, the techniques are guides like everything else, be the boss, the authority, figure out what’s in way 

usually there’s karma and reprogramming needed, transformations 

 @DrewNows Yeah my habits are terrible, i'm banking on these neo advaita teachers paying off but i'm not so sure at this point even though I do think i'm progressing.

The thing is, I know how deep a singular meditation session can be, albeit with psychidelics. I have felt so deeply into the sensations of my head that it literally wipes out suffering and leads to tremendous bliss and perceptual shifts. This stuff didn't come from clear eneergy, or life style changes... it was singular times of deeply sinking into the now and letting go of thinking and just focusing on being aware and conscious.

I was thinking of working with a guy who talks about healing your inner child, I think of it as basically working on undoing your conditioning you got from your parents

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Funny story. I've been reading @Zeroguys journals recently, and I feel personally insulted by his views. 

I know it's my own selfishness, but I was thinking I bet a bunch of people read that and feel personally insulted.

Then you see all the drama and I'm like yup

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Hahaha. 

Think about it Rap.how you can actually improve everyone and yourself.if you are not seeing things in this way? 

The Commander. 

You can't expect my mind to work in any other way. 

Also feelings and spirituality are counter productive for me. 

But the way I am, I actually and literally nail it if I want it. 

Will be different from now. Don't worry. Takes time. 

 

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@Zeroguy Haha I hear you man. 

I have the mindset as you, the best of the best have to be capable of leading and commanding... and if you can't do it then you have work to do.

90% of this forum, myself included rn, would be absolutely useless in a real conflict/war despite thinking they are high conscious and evolved. Look at all these people claiming to know what's true and right, when it's obvious to some of us that they don't know shit. 

I hate spiritual teachers as much as the next guy because of how useless so many of them are, but I don't understand your aversion to spirtuality. Wouldn't your greatest source of strength come from the truth?

This is what I look up to right now. 

None of these fools on this forum could command like this. I will be impressed/respect their opinions when they integrate this ability

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It's all about love from here on out. Love and let Love.

 

Edited by Raptorsin7

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I always said I was on the wisest mother fuckers on this forum hahaha. 

It's all about love. We are loving beings. 

Let's see if I hit some kind of dark night, but as long as I keep loving the love isn't stopping.

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Can't say I didn't expect someone to blow up at me given how i've acted on the forum

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For the record I am actually am sorry about a lot of the stuff i've said/done on the forum. I have bad habits around empathy, callousness, racism, sexism, and a bunch more lol. 

I see no value in being mean spirited anymore. I just want to be the best I can be, and live from love. I'll probably make more mistakes in the future and people are justified in not wanting to deal with me on the forum I can understand that. 

But I won't let this stuff bring me down. I will rise above everything and live an awesome life.

 

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On 9/6/2021 at 0:20 PM, Raptorsin7 said:

I can't remember his quote but it was something like... @zeroISinfinity

"I used to be a materialist/atheist... now I just cry!"

I love that guy 

That guy is gone.

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Hmm not sure what to write. Im looking forward to starting IFS therapy. I really like the parts model to explain my current suffering. I've always had the hunch that people had many different personalities, but after listening to some jeff schwartz it makes a lot of sense how our parts are the cause of a lot of suffering. 

I know I have an evil/hating part. I kinda realized over the past few days, I'm just always in a hateful mood. I'm just waiting for something to set me off, and I'll fucking go off. When I play video games I get so toxic. I literally want some of these guys fucking dead. If someone told me that one of these fucking guys actually killed themselves because of our argument in the moment I would want it, that's how deep my hatred flows. 

Luckily I am pretty aware of this part of myself. And I don't really interact with a lot of people so i am not traumatizing anyone, except maybe these guys i'm playing against online. 

Even now I just feel so agitated. I also my head heavily congested. Interestingly, tears actually reduce my headache and relieve some of the tension.

I wonder what's the relationship between my deep hatred and my repressed crying. 

I think parts work can be very effective for me. I definitely am aware of some of the different personalities I have in my life. I have my hatred side, I have my teary eyed side, I have my quiet side, I have my know it all side, I have my anxious/fearful side, and I bet there's a bunch more. The question is what are the parts that are holding me back from living my best life. That's the key question. 

I had a great idea today when I was talking to a friend today. I might start doing a podcast and interviewing different people from the forum and positing it on here. I have already had a skype call with like 5+ people from the forum, and I really liked the conversations. I have listened to a bunch of podcasts in my life, and I really think I could be an awesome podcast host. I also think I could target a unique niche, so there's some upside. But at the same time, if I never made money pn the podcast I bet I would still enjoy it. I just like having conversations on non duality and meditation etc. I could interview a bunch of different people. I bet people on the forum would find it interesting too, because they can relate to the topics. 

This has been a nice journal post. This is probably the highest quality journal post i've made, that's pretty sweet

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I was thinking about my call with @Moksha the other day and I am very grateful for spending sometime talking with him. I wasn't expecting much from the call and just thought it would be interesting to talk to a different kind of teacher, but that call had a real impact on me. Thanks a lot man

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