Raptorsin7

Life Progress

485 posts in this topic

On 9/6/2021 at 0:20 PM, Raptorsin7 said:

I can't remember his quote but it was something like... @zeroISinfinity

"I used to be a materialist/atheist... now I just cry!"

I love that guy 

That guy is gone.

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Hmm not sure what to write. Im looking forward to starting IFS therapy. I really like the parts model to explain my current suffering. I've always had the hunch that people had many different personalities, but after listening to some jeff schwartz it makes a lot of sense how our parts are the cause of a lot of suffering. 

I know I have an evil/hating part. I kinda realized over the past few days, I'm just always in a hateful mood. I'm just waiting for something to set me off, and I'll fucking go off. When I play video games I get so toxic. I literally want some of these guys fucking dead. If someone told me that one of these fucking guys actually killed themselves because of our argument in the moment I would want it, that's how deep my hatred flows. 

Luckily I am pretty aware of this part of myself. And I don't really interact with a lot of people so i am not traumatizing anyone, except maybe these guys i'm playing against online. 

Even now I just feel so agitated. I also my head heavily congested. Interestingly, tears actually reduce my headache and relieve some of the tension.

I wonder what's the relationship between my deep hatred and my repressed crying. 

I think parts work can be very effective for me. I definitely am aware of some of the different personalities I have in my life. I have my hatred side, I have my teary eyed side, I have my quiet side, I have my know it all side, I have my anxious/fearful side, and I bet there's a bunch more. The question is what are the parts that are holding me back from living my best life. That's the key question. 

I had a great idea today when I was talking to a friend today. I might start doing a podcast and interviewing different people from the forum and positing it on here. I have already had a skype call with like 5+ people from the forum, and I really liked the conversations. I have listened to a bunch of podcasts in my life, and I really think I could be an awesome podcast host. I also think I could target a unique niche, so there's some upside. But at the same time, if I never made money pn the podcast I bet I would still enjoy it. I just like having conversations on non duality and meditation etc. I could interview a bunch of different people. I bet people on the forum would find it interesting too, because they can relate to the topics. 

This has been a nice journal post. This is probably the highest quality journal post i've made, that's pretty sweet

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I was thinking about my call with @Moksha the other day and I am very grateful for spending sometime talking with him. I wasn't expecting much from the call and just thought it would be interesting to talk to a different kind of teacher, but that call had a real impact on me. Thanks a lot man

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@lostmedstudent Hey I thought i'd reply here to your comment here.

Things are going pretty well. I've recovered from rock bottom, and I'm making some good progress with meditation and trying to be happy. 

I've realized how important it is to just become more conscious of our own sense of presence/being. The whole path of enlightenment is very simple, it's all about our own presence and resting in this spac.e

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This is a great video. The fact that we can't discuss this guy on the forum is foolish

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I love this series so much. I've listened to this so many times this past week.

 

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21 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Zeroguy No problem, why did you want to know?

Thought you were left handed. Was just asking. 

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6 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

Thought you were left handed. Was just asking. 

Ahh kk. You know they used to say left handedness was devilry?

 

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