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Phyllis Wagner

Cold Approaching Going Wrong

15 posts in this topic

I want to share something I find quite funny here that I think about when it is recommended to cold approach 1000s of girls.

There is a local "celebrity" where I live who does exactly that. This guy is probably not right in the head, he takes the same subway up and down every day and asks every women out for drinks. He has been doing this years, almost every day. When a women says no he just asks the next one and then the next one, he does this for every female passenger. He is not being aggressive, just asking for drinks. This guy has been banned from entering the subway (but goes there anyway). He is well known within the city, has been in minor newspapers a couple of times,  and you can find videos where he gets beat up because of his behavior online. 

I don't know if any women ever said yes, but I don't think so, his social status is basically rock bottom at this point, he is a weirdo. I just find it funny because people here would say he must be a womanizer by now. Literally approaches hundreds of girls per day.

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@Phyllis Wagner

16 minutes ago, Phyllis Wagner said:

I want to share something I find quite funny here that I think about when it is recommended to cold approach 1000s of girls.

There is a local "celebrity" where I live who does exactly that. This guy is probably not right in the head, he takes the same subway up and down every day and asks every women out for drinks. He has been doing this years, almost every day. When a women says no he just asks the next one and then the next one, he does this for every female passenger. He is not being aggressive, just asking for drinks. This guy has been banned from entering the subway (but goes there anyway). He is well known within the city, has been in minor newspapers a couple of times,  and you can find videos where he gets beat up because of his behavior online. 

I don't know if any women ever said yes, but I don't think so, his social status is basically rock bottom at this point, he is a weirdo. I just find it funny because people here would say he must be a womanizer by now. Literally approaches hundreds of girls per day.

   Is there a video about this?

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If you don’t learn anything from each interaction, then 1 approach is exactly the same as 1000.   The point is to learn something and become more skillful.  That is why the goal should be to connect, not approach.  He is not connecting.  It’s like the woman isn’t even there for him.

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Gotta grow from approaches, and also keep things sustainable, i.e. don't over approach in a particular area. 

Spam approaching is shit. Will it work eventually? Maybe. But why not actually get better? 

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   I found one video of a series of cold approaches. Valuable to learn from:

and

 

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Posted (edited)

On 2/28/2021 at 2:25 PM, Phyllis Wagner said:

When a women says no he just asks the next one and then the next one, he does this for every female passenger

Isn't it obvious? If he is literally asking all of them, he's effectively really asking none of them.

Edited by The0Self

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Posted (edited)

43 minutes ago, The0Self said:

Isn't it obvious? If he is literally asking all of them, he's effectively really asking none of them.

 

9 hours ago, flowboy said:

@Phyllis Wagner  Yeah, if you're not "right in the head", regular-people-advice will not work. Is that a surprise to you?

 

 

On 2/28/2021 at 11:25 AM, Phyllis Wagner said:

I want to share something I find quite funny here that I think about when it is recommended to cold approach 1000s of girls.

There is a local "celebrity" where I live who does exactly that. This guy is probably not right in the head, he takes the same subway up and down every day and asks every women out for drinks. He has been doing this years, almost every day. When a women says no he just asks the next one and then the next one, he does this for every female passenger. He is not being aggressive, just asking for drinks. This guy has been banned from entering the subway (but goes there anyway). He is well known within the city, has been in minor newspapers a couple of times,  and you can find videos where he gets beat up because of his behavior online. 

I don't know if any women ever said yes, but I don't think so, his social status is basically rock bottom at this point, he is a weirdo. I just find it funny because people here would say he must be a womanizer by now. Literally approaches hundreds of girls per day.

 

On 2/28/2021 at 11:35 AM, RendHeaven said:

Sounds like he's not learning from his mistakes.

Part of the "1000 approaches" mentality is that you grow with each interaction

On 2/28/2021 at 1:05 PM, Jodistrict said:

If you don’t learn anything from each interaction, then 1 approach is exactly the same as 1000.   The point is to learn something and become more skillful.  That is why the goal should be to connect, not approach.  He is not connecting.  It’s like the woman isn’t even there for him.

 

Poor guy. I feel terrible for them. It sounds like he At least he's trying his very best and not complaining about it unlike most men who sit at and feel sorry for themselves for not even trying. You know what else? This is why I actually hate most PUA coaches and dating experts because they are like most politicians who are full of shit by selling poor male victims false promises of being able to make truly positive changes in their dating lives only to end up letting them down. This is largely true, regardless of how hard their clients seriously work to try to better themselves with dating, sex, and romance. Also, the vast majority of the dating and pickup advice given on YouTube vids by these so called dating/pickup gurus are really ineffective and fail to explain how they are supposed to be used properly. It's truly a sorry sight.

Edited by Hardkill

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On 28/02/2021 at 7:25 PM, Phyllis Wagner said:

I want to share something I find quite funny here that I think about when it is recommended to cold approach 1000s of girls.

There is a local "celebrity" where I live who does exactly that. This guy is probably not right in the head, he takes the same subway up and down every day and asks every women out for drinks. He has been doing this years, almost every day. When a women says no he just asks the next one and then the next one, he does this for every female passenger. He is not being aggressive, just asking for drinks. This guy has been banned from entering the subway (but goes there anyway). He is well known within the city, has been in minor newspapers a couple of times,  and you can find videos where he gets beat up because of his behavior online. 

I don't know if any women ever said yes, but I don't think so, his social status is basically rock bottom at this point, he is a weirdo. I just find it funny because people here would say he must be a womanizer by now. Literally approaches hundreds of girls per day.

This isn't cold approach or game - its just being fucking weird. If he keeps doing it obsessively then there is clearly something wrong with the guy. 

People here would not say he 'must be a womanizer'. We're not stupid lol. Just because he's doing hundreds of approaches doesn't imply he should be getting laid, or even having a single conversation. When Leo says to do 1000 approaches, it has nothing to do with what this guy is doing on the train. 

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@Hardkill

15 hours ago, Hardkill said:

 

 

 

 

Poor guy. I feel terrible for them. It sounds like he At least he's trying his very best and not complaining about it unlike most men who sit at and feel sorry for themselves for not even trying. You know what else? This is why I actually hate most PUA coaches and dating experts because they are like most politicians who are full of shit by selling poor male victims false promises of being able to make truly positive changes in their dating lives only to end up letting them down. This is largely true, regardless of how hard their clients seriously work to try to better themselves with dating, sex, and romance. Also, the vast majority of the dating and pickup advice given on YouTube vids by these so called dating/pickup gurus are really ineffective and fail to explain how they are supposed to be used properly. It's truly a sorry sight.

   I agree that some people find dating harder than other fields, and from what I've known so far, this guy is definitely cold approaching 100-1000 times, on a daily bases. To me, that's a good start to at least getting used to being social and getting used to rejection face-to-face, which is what most people here don't quite get. With a decent dating coach, I'm sure the guy could get faster success due to him collecting experience in him approaching, assuming that he's open to feedback, and whatever physical/mental disorder is not too severe. I've gone through a similar phase this guy's going through, so for some people building up through repetition is one way. 

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On 3/1/2021 at 4:44 PM, Danioover9000 said:

   I found one video of a series of cold approaches. Valuable to learn from:

and

 

jesus day game rejections are cringe

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On 3/3/2021 at 11:16 AM, Danioover9000 said:

@Hardkill

   I agree that some people find dating harder than other fields, and from what I've known so far, this guy is definitely cold approaching 100-1000 times, on a daily bases. To me, that's a good start to at least getting used to being social and getting used to rejection face-to-face, which is what most people here don't quite get. With a decent dating coach, I'm sure the guy could get faster success due to him collecting experience in him approaching, assuming that he's open to feedback, and whatever physical/mental disorder is not too severe. I've gone through a similar phase this guy's going through, so for some people building up through repetition is one way. 

Dating coaches charged ridiculously high fees. You would have to be either rich enough to be able to afford wasting thousands of dollars down the drain on a dating coaches without any guarantee that it will work or get very lucky to get a free one-on-one coaching session on a consistent basis. However, if you want to prove me wrong, then be my guest. I honestly would like to be proven wrong.

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@Hardkill

5 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Dating coaches charged ridiculously high fees. You would have to be either rich enough to be able to afford wasting thousands of dollars down the drain on a dating coaches without any guarantee that it will work or get very lucky to get a free one-on-one coaching session on a consistent basis. However, if you want to prove me wrong, then be my guest. I honestly would like to be proven wrong.

   I'm not interested in arguing with you, I'm more interested in a discussion, and I do understand that some coaches are scam artists hustling as well, yet sometimes there are decent coaches, and if you can afford it, good. If not, then you'd have to be creative in learning the mistakes, and build up volume of experiences with dating and learning, or learn from some for free, or keep a journal. All else fails, keep approaching, or move on in some area of life. That's the secret to success in dealing with limits.

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