Hardkill

How much does age matter when cold approaching women?

19 posts in this topic

Hey guys, so sometimes I wonder if there's a certain point in your life where you become too old to do pickup or cold approach women, even as a man. I ask this because I am 33 years old, and while according to the intersexual expert, Rollo Tomassi, men in their 30s are generally in their sexual prime, guys like me have been feeling the increasing pressure from society and those close to me such as my parents to seriously consider settling down with a woman. Speaking of society, there is that unwritten rule for work which is that if a man wants to move up on the corporate ladder or become successful in any other kind of career that he pursues, then he needs to get married or at least be in a serious monogamous long-term relationship of some kind in order to be taken seriously enough by others. Yes, there are of course single men including unmarried older men who have become successful, but from what I understand those men are perhaps far few in between. I am also worried about what girls who are a lot younger than me may think of me if I randomly approach them. Like what if a lot think to themselves "this guy is too old for me. What does he think he is doing?" I am not sure about all of this though. What do you guys think?

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Come on, you are way overthinking this.

I don't know where you are from but I've never felt that pressure to marry. Sounds like you are living somewhere very religious, country side maybe. Job wise you will not get extra points for being married. Maybe some respect from other married coworkers, maybe more leeway in putting in vacation time.

For dating sure it matters. But it will depend highly on the woman. Some will think you are too old, some too young and for some you are exactly right.

You can't control your age anyways so why bother? Instead, focus on what you have direct control over. Your insecurities around your age for example, if you have any.

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Rollo Tomassi is a red pill clown. be mindful of your theory intake. 

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while according to the intersexual expert, Rollo Tomassi, men

So after all these discussions, you are still listening to toxic RedPill shit. You just can't help yourself, can you


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Maybe not focus so much on parameters and metrics. 

If the goal is dating, you could date anyone and anyone could date you. 

The possibilities in dating are endless. 

I have watched  50 year olds getting married and finding life partners when they are so old and they don't give up dating. 

What matters is what you make out of life. 

Don't put limits on what you can do in life 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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Obviously age plays a role for a lot of girls. It is not just a number. It is biology but you shouldn't be obsessed by your age. All you need to know it plays a role.

Other variables than age are much more important. Focus on what you can influence.

Accept your age. It is not easy but you have to. If you don't accept your age and who you are and how you look, it is going to be creepy.

It is only creepy if you don't accept a part of yourself. Just own it up. It is not easy and I'm not talking from an ivory tower here.

 

Edited by StarStruck

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19 hours ago, Hardkill said:

increasing pressure from society and those close to me such as my parents to seriously consider settling down with a woman.

Do you have the money to do this?

-House

-2 Cars

-College money for the kid(s)

-12 Months of expenses in case another pandemic hits the whole world

19 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Speaking of society, there is that unwritten rule for work which is that if a man wants to move up on the corporate ladder or become successful in any other kind of career that he pursues, then he needs to get married or at least be in a serious monogamous long-term relationship of some kind in order to be taken seriously enough by others.

Fuck that BS

 

19 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I am also worried about what girls who are a lot younger than me may think of me if I randomly approach them. Like what if a lot think to themselves "this guy is too old for me. What does he think he is doing?"

LOL!

You are living too much inside your head. Go outside.

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I do not approach. I'm young looking usually people assume that we are same age. If I talk to someone younger they assume I'm their age because of looks, if someone is older they assume my age from context. I can mesh easily.

During conversations even if I say something about my age it's quickly forgotten. My impression is that girl might be weirded out that I'm 10 years older.. but only for a minute or two. 

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I listen to Rollo Tomasi before from an audiobook. I keep an open mind while listening until I finished and say never again. It felt weird, I think books that I've read before like 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' and 'Models' are even better, in terms of quality. lol

I think I got it from a buff dude on youtube where he lost his parents, then had some group following.. but  I realize its not for me. So that was a red pill thing. hmmm

Edited by Recress

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6 hours ago, Username said:

I do not approach. I'm young looking usually people assume that we are same age. If I talk to someone younger they assume I'm their age because of looks, if someone is older they assume my age from context. I can mesh easily.

During conversations even if I say something about my age it's quickly forgotten. My impression is that girl might be weirded out that I'm 10 years older.. but only for a minute or two. 

Same here. On my previous travel, I met someone who thought were at the same age. Of course I didnt reveal my age until we meet up again but yeah, you need to go out more TS. It's more on your head! If not for this pandemic, Im going traveling again!

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19 hours ago, flowboy said:

while according to the intersexual expert, Rollo Tomassi, men

So after all these discussions, you are still listening to toxic RedPill shit. You just can't help yourself, can you

 

19 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

Yeah, carefull with that red pill thinking, clowns that preach it really don't understand shit about women

They say things like "women age like milk, men age like fine wine" lol nothing could be further from the truth. If you wanna approach women, do it now, even yersterday was late.

Regarding climbing career ladder and getting married, isn't that completelly up to you? Don't let people dictate what you can and can't do and you'll live a much happier life.

 

 

1 hour ago, Recress said:

I listen to Rollo Tomasi before from an audiobook. I keep an open mind while listening until I finished and say never again. It felt weird, I think books that I've read before like 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' and 'Models' are even better, in terms of quality. lol

I think I got it from a buff dude on youtube where he lost his parents, then had some group following.. but  I realize its not for me. So that was a red pill thing. hmmm

 

22 hours ago, Lyubov said:

Rollo Tomassi is a red pill clown. be mindful of your theory intake. 

Wait, why is Rollo Tomassi toxic? I thought his view were legit. Am I missing something?

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On 2/21/2021 at 4:35 PM, universe said:

Come on, you are way overthinking this.

I don't know where you are from but I've never felt that pressure to marry. Sounds like you are living somewhere very religious, country side maybe. Job wise you will not get extra points for being married. Maybe some respect from other married coworkers, maybe more leeway in putting in vacation time.

For dating sure it matters. But it will depend highly on the woman. Some will think you are too old, some too young and for some you are exactly right.

You can't control your age anyways so why bother? Instead, focus on what you have direct control over. Your insecurities around your age for example, if you have any.

 

19 hours ago, Loving Radiance said:

@Hardkill I remember RSD Tyler saying that the older he got the more comments he got that he could be their daddy. But apart from that everything's the same.

 

10 hours ago, Nahm said:

Nope. Age plays no role at all. 

 

8 hours ago, Username said:

I do not approach. I'm young looking usually people assume that we are same age. If I talk to someone younger they assume I'm their age because of looks, if someone is older they assume my age from context. I can mesh easily.

During conversations even if I say something about my age it's quickly forgotten. My impression is that girl might be weirded out that I'm 10 years older.. but only for a minute or two. 

Okay, that's encouraging. Thank you guys.

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3 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Wait, why is Rollo Tomassi toxic? I thought his view were legit. Am I missing something?

Because it makes you overthink and worry and create questions in your mind that have no basis in real life, and subtly engage your victim energy. It is what makes people come on here and ask: "OMG is it true that women XYZ??" (insert overgeneralization that makes you feel subtly victimized)

@Hardkill

Pay close attention to how the content you consume makes you feel, and you will get a sense for what is toxic and what is not.

Does it make you feel peaceful? Loving? Excited? Well, then if you read/watch more of that, then your life will be more exciting and loving and peaceful.

Does what you watch / read make you feel worried? Anxious? Like a victim? Then the more you watch it, the more your life will be about those feelings.

What you give attention, grows stronger.

You have to let go of the idea that "But if it's true, I have to know. Regardless of how it makes me feel." That is a trap and an illusion. There is no one truth that can be expressed in words, anyway. All truths that can be expressed in words, are relative truths, which means there are infinite versions and perspectives on it. Your responsibility is to choose wisely which version you engage with. Because it will define how you feel daily, and shape your life. Don't underestimate this.

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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@Loving Radiance

On 22/02/2021 at 6:50 PM, Loving Radiance said:

@Hardkill I remember RSD Tyler saying that the older he got the more comments he got that he could be their daddy. But apart from that everything's the same.

He said his results got better and better too ;)

at some point the girls would make a daddy comment, which he totally owned and joked about, it made no difference to the outcome.

Will some girls right you off for being too old? sure. Could you turn some of those girls around anyway? Sure. Will some girls totally dig the fact you're older than they are by 2-15 years? Sure. Will some girls right you off for being too young or the same age as them? Sure. Could you turn those girls around anyway? Sure.

As Leo said: "What she logically wants its different to what she is actually attracted too."

Through my own experience and observation of others, the age thing only limits guys to the extent that they allow their own mind, insecurities and limitations to do so. For the most part, being older than the girl, benefits you in many ways as long as you are continuing to work on yourself as an overall attractive, self actualizing passionate man with other shit going on his life. As well as working on you're actual communication skills with women and deepening your understanding of what they want.

I've have seen a noticable correlation amongst women in my life who are the most attractive quality women, (who all the guys are trying to sleep with) and their willingness to date men much older than they are. It all depends though, it's not always the case. Women aren't robots.

Best bet, work on yourself and focus on what you can control.

Edited by Spence94

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5 hours ago, Spence94 said:

@Loving Radiance

He said his results got better and better too ;)

at some point the girls would make a daddy comment, which he totally owned and joked about, it made no difference to the outcome.

Will some girls right you off for being too old? sure. Could you turn some of those girls around anyway? Sure. Will some girls totally dig the fact you're older than they are by 2-15 years? Sure. Will some girls right you off for being too young or the same age as them? Sure. Could you turn those girls around anyway? Sure.

As Leo said: "What she logically wants its different to what she is actually attracted too."

Through my own experience and observation of others, the age thing only limits guys to the extent that they allow their own mind, insecurities and limitations to do so. For the most part, being older than the girl, benefits you in many ways as long as you are continuing to work on yourself as an overall attractive, self actualizing passionate man with other shit going on his life. As well as working on you're actual communication skills with women and deepening your understanding of what they want.

I've have seen a noticable correlation amongst women in my life who are the most attractive quality women, (who all the guys are trying to sleep with) and their willingness to date men much older than they are. It all depends though, it's not always the case. Women aren't robots.

Best bet, work on yourself and focus on what you can control.

The question is do you really want that? Tyler has the lifestyle and can get away with it. If you are an average joe and have a normal job, normal salary and normal lifestyle, I feel like it can get creepy. IMHO, maximum ago for pickup should be 35 years old or something. If you are 40 and trying to pick up 20 year old piece of hot ass... I don't know man.

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On 2/23/2021 at 2:01 AM, flowboy said:

Because it makes you overthink and worry and create questions in your mind that have no basis in real life, and subtly engage your victim energy. It is what makes people come on here and ask: "OMG is it true that women XYZ??" (insert overgeneralization that makes you feel subtly victimized)

@Hardkill

Pay close attention to how the content you consume makes you feel, and you will get a sense for what is toxic and what is not.

Does it make you feel peaceful? Loving? Excited? Well, then if you read/watch more of that, then your life will be more exciting and loving and peaceful.

Does what you watch / read make you feel worried? Anxious? Like a victim? Then the more you watch it, the more your life will be about those feelings.

What you give attention, grows stronger.

You have to let go of the idea that "But if it's true, I have to know. Regardless of how it makes me feel." That is a trap and an illusion. There is no one truth that can be expressed in words, anyway. All truths that can be expressed in words, are relative truths, which means there are infinite versions and perspectives on it. Your responsibility is to choose wisely which version you engage with. Because it will define how you feel daily, and shape your life. Don't underestimate this.

I see. So, I got to be aware of how such content I watch or listen to truly makes me feel and weigh the pros and cons of following such content.

On 2/24/2021 at 8:57 AM, StarStruck said:

The question is do you really want that? Tyler has the lifestyle and can get away with it. If you are an average joe and have a normal job, normal salary and normal lifestyle, I feel like it can get creepy. IMHO, maximum ago for pickup should be 35 years old or something. If you are 40 and trying to pick up 20 year old piece of hot ass... I don't know man.

Yeah, I'll keep that in mind.

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