Is casual sex harmful for women?

[PurpleTree]

24 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

Sorry you're having troubles with girls, don't take it out on me because I'm dealing with my own stuff. 

Also it's not that i have trouble with "girls". And because of that i need to take it out on a girl.

Not at all, i'm just finding such generalizing sexist/racist etc. statements very problematic and will point it out when i see it.

peace out

[PurpleTree]

7 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

@PurpleTree 

So where are you when it has to do with women?  Or is it only when it is something you care about?  I have not seen you really fight for those views.

if some of my friends talk about women in a very generalizing sexist way or stare at them, drooling and look at them as objects i point it out too.

i also have told many whites for example that they shouldn't use this and that racist word etc.

Edited December 17, 2020 by PurpleTree

[Username]

@Keyhole Your observations are spot on. This is unfortunate that you had to learn this by experience.

If I would get such an offer from female I'm interested in I would loose respect for her. I guess most males like to be chosen, in this case there wouldn't be anything special about it if anyone can get it. Now she is other category. If I would engage in such activities I would keep myself emotionally closed off as a self defence mechanism, especially if I liked her before. (it never happened, it's my pure imagination)

Guys will often lie (and believe in it) that they are fine about sex outside of relationship (because it serves them). In reality they would despise those females.

[Michael569]

Guys, please let's try to prevent this topic spiralling into a heated flamewar 

[electroBeam]

In reality lots of women do have casual sex, and for the most part its fine - so long as the guy isnt a blabber mouth and goes and tells everyone. 

The game here is, the more the man humps, the higher his social status. The more men a girl is humped by, the lower her social status. Yet the reality is, some women like casual sex deep down, and even the ones that dont, cant avoid it because you can only really tell how compatible you are after sex and a few months, and you aint compatible with most women so - you end up leaving her(and this is just for guys who are into serious relationships, not the ones who are into casual relationships or are players).

 

[Preety_India]

Women are slut shamed when they sleep with many men. 

In some ways I find it sexist to look down on a woman's sexual needs. On the other hand I think it's good in the long term because women sleeping with too many men can result into sexual exploitative culture and women giving into that kind of pressure where they are only valued if they sleep with any man might incline her to more rapes and exploitation. 

A woman's burden of suffering is higher if the casual relationship goes awry.

Because men might suffer financially at the hands of a gold digger or emotionally by her games.

But women have a lot to lose like unwanted pregnancy, rape,abuse, physical injury, Stalking, kidnapping long term psychological consequences and self esteem issue

Looking at it, I think women will be less likely to say yes to a causal sexual fling and men will be more likely to say yes to a causual sex because they don't think they have much to lose 

 

[Gesundheit]

It's really not that men actually like to be chosen by the girl. Not at all. The girl's opinion is completely irrelevant here. Look at the porn industry. Why do you think men love porn? I mean, if sluts are so unappealing, then porn should be obsolete, but it isn't. Why?

I'll tell you why:

It's just the idea of an easy thing that is not sexy to men. Like with video games, nobody celebrates/prides themselves on having won an easy game. We want what no one can have. We want to face challenges and beat them to validate our power, dominance, and sense of self-worth/importance. This is how the masculine energy embodies itself. We want to possess the girl for ourselves because that's how we establish our kingdom.

Furthermore, exclusive sluts are way more than just appealing to men. They're in a completely different dimension of sexy. If a girl is known to be sleeping around with high-quality men, men will be dying to have her for themselves. They will set up competitions and all sorts of things to win her.

[electroBeam]

Keep in mind, you guys are just talking about stage orange - once you get to stage green where polygamous stuff is allowed or at least accepted and acknowledged, women are much much much less slut shamed for sleeping around, if at all. 

In dating, this site is blue, orange with tiny tiny fragments of green, not pure green. I, and my green friends, have 0 issue with women sleeping around, so long as they are aware and respect monogamy with me.

Not only that but in green circles theres much more emphasis on emotional exploration and connection. I(or we) dont see how sleeping with multiple partners has anything to do with such exploration. How can you do such exploration if you're slut shamed. 

Most guys have a problem with sleeping around because sleeping around is a masculine trait. Cheating, wandering eye, going after different men assertively, this is all masculine stuff. Men are attracted to femininity. 

IMO you just need to be sensible. I know girls who sleep around yet are respected because they are careful with the guys they choose and careful with how they sleep with them.

Sleeping around is way worse if you're not careful with who you sleep with. Not all guys are emotionally mature, and if you sleep with an idiot, he'll tell everyone about it and screw you. And thats the hard part because the idiots tend to be the hottest.

[sustainably]

Here's some explanation you might not expect

There is nothing "casual" about sex

If sex is casual, you would have no objection/emotional turmoil.  You can just have sex all the time and stay happy.

But then why is casual sex leading to so many anxieties, when it's only meant for pleasure/happiness/intimacy?

The reason is because of what I call "temporary/material/bodily consciousness": Just the way an airplane, which goes up has to come down at some point of time, this sexual pleasure also dwindles.  Why would you want to subscribe to something so temporary? Do you hear me?

Not just that, there are also other side effects. Just like porn addiction, people having casual sex or sex for pure pleasure would at some point get addicted to the idea of deriving pleasure from sexual intercourse. Especially in case of most women, it leads to illusory emotional attraction and attachments towards the man with whom she sleeps with. While in reality the sex was "meant" to be casual.

On the long term it is important for self-actualizers to reduce the need for sex, especially sex for pleasure. And use this time and energy to have more meaningful relationships and invest in important engagements that serve our life purpose. As illustrated in this picture, the more we develop the less important these lower level needs become.

So I wish you all the very best with navigating your needs and accomplishing your life purpose, whatever it is....

Also, for people here who are trying to attain enlightenment by dissolving their ego: Casual sex, sex for pleasure, porn addiction and masturbation also feeds your bodily identification. If you're a woman this feeds your identification as a woman. Without it, there is no sex. So the more you engage in such activities, the more you are prone to temporary bodily attachments. This can also lead to anxiety and unhappiness when you don't get what you want. Therefore, be very careful while contemplating this, try to understand yourself and grow to your highest Self.

Lastly, I'm not trying to steal your fun or anything like that. I'm only trying to share what I learnt.

Hope this helps

[Preety_India]

@sustainably great analysis. 

 

[mandyjw]

2 hours ago, Keyhole said:

Some of them, but this is not the norm.  You got lucky that you found someone so young - if I was smart I would have stayed with the guy I knew in high school who liked me because we were so comfortable with each other.  I think in that instance, a relationship can withstand the test of time, but not as you get older;

There really isn't any way them men are or women are. We can't judge groups at all because there are no such thing as "men" outside of an abstract concept. Even individuals are always in flux. The world reflects your beliefs back at you. 

This is all your own personal fantasy. For God's sakes, just have fun with it! 

[Leo Gura]

Cool it.