Leo's toxic rhetoric and an inner conflict

[Martin123]

@Leo Gura I think this is all fine since we can use the ignore function and move on, the issue was originally raised against mods acting disrespectfully and us being unable to block em. 

I find some things mods here say/do rather unhealthy, if I could block them and move on and cleans myself that, I personally would be grateful, not having that option puts me into an awkward position. 

Edited October 13, 2020 by Martin123

[mandyjw]

14 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

congratulations, may you be awarded. 

Is that a nomination for Moderator? 

[Martin123]

Just now, mandyjw said:

Is that a nomination for Moderator? 

Lol I hope not then I wouldn’t be able to block you if needed haha 

[seeking_brilliance]

If, on a self help forum, many suggestions of self help are seen as abuse, God help us all... 

[Max_V]

@Martin123 You are the Martin that posted an emotional healing guide type post on the forum back a long time ago, right? Don’t think I ever thanked you for that. That helped me a lot through difficult times. Thank you so much. 

Hope you’re doing good. 

[Martin123]

8 minutes ago, seeking_brilliance said:

If, on a self help forum, many suggestions of self help are seen as abuse, God help us all... 

Yesterday @Gesundheit called my inner child work ‘middle aged lesbian projection’.

that is not HELP, that’s verbal abuse.

 

Then a mod tried to guilt trip or scold me into apologising for speaking up, as if I were to deny something that only resulted in a healthy conversation for many participants.

 

Not help, not self, no self-help in that.

 

 

Edited October 13, 2020 by Martin123

[Martin123]

Just now, Max_V said:

@Martin123 You are the Martin that posted an emotional healing guide type post on the forum back a long time ago, right? Don’t think I ever thanked you for that. That helped me a lot through difficult times. Thank you so much. 

Hope you’re doing good. 

Thanks Max, yes that’s me, that was many many moons ago, I think I hid or deleted it as I didn’t like that work anymore. It would’ve looked much differently today.

nevertheless lovely you found it helpful! 

[seeking_brilliance]

3 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

Yesterday @Gesundheit called my inner child work ‘middle aged lesbian projection’.

that is not HELP, that’s verbal abuse.

 

Then a mod tried to guilt trip or scold me into apologising for speaking up, that only resulted in a healthy conversation for many participants.

 

Not help, not self, no self-help in that.

 

 

Agreed, but who is @Gesundheitand why should you care what it thinks? Yes that was definitely an example of unhelpfulness. But not everyone who tries to make the situation or topic into a learning (introspective) experience is doing it with bad intentions 

 

[Max_V]

@Martin123 Ah, I see.

I'm curious, how would you go about healing emotional trauma nowadays? I need all the help I can get in working through old patterns that are holding my back a lot in growing as a person. Old Max doesn't want to let go.  

[mandyjw]

@Martin123 WEIRD synchronicity, I for real, used to think Nahm was a middle-aged lesbian because when I came to the forum I assumed he had to be female because he took so much time to help everyone including myself. I couldn't imagine a man being that giving to others. Then he mentioned his wife and instead of realizing he was male, I was like "Oh she's lesbian". But it was just a projection. 

I dunno, but I kinda think the universe is playing a big joke on us all. Too busy complaining about each other to laugh about it though.  

[seeking_brilliance]

@mandyjw  ?????????. It's so hard without pictures, but also the mystery is kind of fun

Edited October 13, 2020 by seeking_brilliance

[Max_V]

@mandyjw Same here, hahah. He really emenated that female energy  

[Martin123]

1 minute ago, Max_V said:

@Martin123 Ah, I see.

I'm curious, how would you go about healing emotional trauma nowadays? I need all the help I can get in working through old patterns that are holding my back a lot in growing as a person. Old Max doesn't want to let go.  

The old Max doesn’t want to let go only because you perceive him as an enemy.

you have an adversarial relationship with your ego and are treating it as an enemy to deny and run away from, rather than a part of you that is begging for love and attention.

 

Treat yourself and your ego with care, with love and with respect, embrace yourself with enthusiasm and authenticity. Be honest about how you feel, and feel deeply and feel more, and allow feeling to be your spiritual practice.

 

If I tune into your energy, the first thing the comes up is that you need more respect for yourself, and then the question becomes ‘how am I disrespecting myself on a daily basis?’

 

if you lead with respect, respect for your ego, for your mind, for your emotions and experiences, all that is meant to be let go, will let go of you with a parting letter saying ‘thank you for respecting me, I now received and taught you all that I needed, and am letting go of you as a way of bringing new and positive energy into your field, creating more space for healing and expansion to dawn.’

 

and lastly, what you can do is to think which one of your parents taught you to disrespect yourself on a daily basis, where self dis-respect was rewarded as if it were a good thing, and doing things that were respectful of you and your own boundaries were punished as if it were something bad to shy away from.

 

respect the ego, because the truth of who you are has infinite respect to all of creation, including and  especially  the ego.

 

that is what came through for you today, may you take time to take it in and integrate it in the best possible way.

 

all the best. 

[Martin123]

11 minutes ago, seeking_brilliance said:

Agreed, but who is @Gesundheitand why should you care what it thinks?

Oh I don’t I just blocked him, I used him as an example of what I mean by members being abusive.

[DrewNows]

@Martin123 i never understood the purpose of blocking, who's here to avoid negative emotions/criticism/judgement ("toxic behaviors")? Maybe just those who fear or believe it holds no value. In the shadows lie great opportunity

[Max_V]

@Martin123 This renonates a lot. I hope I can remember it. I don't mean that in a jokingly way, but honestly it feels like all the things I'm trying to do to take a step forward fall back into the depths of my mind and I return to numbing out all that that makes me feel inauthentic and disrespected. 

Might just be a big backlash from all that i've been going through, but man, it feels like there is this huge force that just wants to make everything that hurts numb

[Martin123]

Just now, DrewNows said:

@Martin123 i never understood the purpose of blocking, who's here to avoid negative emotions/criticism/judgement ("toxic behaviors")? Maybe just those who fear or believe it holds no value. In the shadows lie great opportunity

Well for me personally (and for everyone in some point of their journey), my ability to block others and walk away from toxic situations hold infinite value because I as a child was conditioned and rewarded for betraying abandoning and disrespecting my own boundaries, because I was raised by abusers.

 

therefore when I allow myself to walk away/block/speak-up/set boundaries, I am initiating new levels of healing in my field that start transmuting layers of ancestral trauma that I was born to resolve,

I think that’s a very nice purpose...  

[Preety_India]

@Martin123  there should be no place for hostility on the forum. 

After all this is a spirituality forum right? 

 

[Martin123]

2 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Martin123 This renonates a lot. I hope I can remember it. I don't mean that in a jokingly way, but honestly it feels like all the things I'm trying to do to take a step forward, fall back into the depths of my mind and I return to numbing out all that that makes me feel inauthentic and disrespected. 

Might just be a big backlash from all that i've been going through, but man, it feels like there is this huge force that just wants to make everything that hurts numb

That’s okay, just allow it to come through whatever it is, if there is a part of you that wants to numb it out, don’t deny it for that is just another layer that deserves respect, it’s not wrong it’s just there to be felt and healed. Numbness is an emotion too, and it deserves the same loving treatment as all other aspects of you.

 

Don’t worry about remembering it, the words come with an energetic transmission that is already rewriting your nervous system and subconscious mind and you not being able to remember is just your mind perceiving it as a lack of control. Plus, you can always come back and reread the words to increase the benefit when you see and feel fit. 

[Martin123]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

@Martin123  there should be no place for hostility on the forum. 

After all this is a spirituality forum right? 

 

As much as I agree it’s not my call to make, I can only speak up for my own values and morals and respect my integrity in the process.