How and where to meet yellow/turquoise men?

[Sine]

I have been taking a long break from dating in general, mostly because of self-development purposes, but also because I find it very difficult to meet men who I resonate with. After listening to all of Leos videos about spiral dynamics, and diving into the book for the second time, it occurred to me that the men I mostly meet, are very deep into orange or green.

I believe it would be beneficial for me, to meet someone who is on his way or already in tier two/yellow. But what could be potential places to meet these kinds of people (in general, not only for dating-purposes?) Tinder is definitely not the place!...  I am in-between green and yellow myself,  but are very ready to transition even more into yellow. I do psychedelics and so on. 

Another question - what are your experiences with dating someone who is in another place in the spiral than yourself? I think it can be both beneficial to date someone at "lower" and "higher" levels than yourself. But for a long relationship I imagine that it will work best if you are somewhat on the same colors? Maybe a long relationship between two people who are both trying to develop themselves will only be able to work if both are in turquoise because then they will stay at the same place? I think it wouldn't be possible to develop at an equal pace? 

[electroBeam]

You said you take psychedelics, you can try finding a boyfriend in dmt machine elf land. I've heard from reliable sources that the hot elf boys there are around turquoise. 

I've dated below the spiral and its all good and fine. You get dumped eventually but apart from that its good.

 

[Darodos]

Ok you life in Denmark? That shouldnt be a problem. You might have to wait until the plague is gone however. 

But then, you can just do some online research and find some spiritual events like workshops, retreats, etc. etc... it really shouln't be that hard. Most people you find there will some mixture of green and yellow like yourself, some of them with a little bit of turquoise sprinkled in.

In Germany where I live, there is a substantial minority of people who are interested in spirituality and self development, who are very well connected and networked with each other. You just have to find them.

Facebook should be a very good resource actually. Lots of spiritually minded people there. Just search for some danish words that are connected to spirituality and you should be good to go

[Sine]

15 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

You said you take psychedelics, you can try finding a boyfriend in dmt machine elf land. I've heard from reliable sources that the hot elf boys there are around turquoise. 

I've dated below the spiral and its all good and fine. You get dumped eventually but apart from that its good.

 

Hahaha maybe that is a good idea! Great sex I can imagine...

[Proserpina]

@electroBeam lol

[Preety_India]

 

America 

The men are super hot and turquoise. 

 

[Spiral]

We have a few stage yellow people in Sweden surely you most have some in Denmark as well. 

The only place I know in Scandinavia is noden, Stockholm.

Edited September 11, 2020 by Spiral

[Arthur]

Yellow dudes will be coaches and teachers, older guys could end up in some high positions in academia. You can also find them in Green circles. Being post-Green, they will embody a lot of green ideals. They're holistic people, knowing a lot about everything. They won't be a stereotypical Orange dating coach who only knows pickup. You tell apart orange from yellow by asking whether the person is genuinely interested in something or only using it for personal benefit.

Most importantly they will have a ton of life experience. Yellow people will be unconventional, likely lived in different countries, have an open mind and a long journey of life-improvement behind them. It's extremely hard to develop yourself to that stage when your parents and culture constantly pulls you down. Yellow requires some kind an inner push, a unique ambition, curiosity and discipline. Yellow mega-thread has some good examples.

[The0Self]

Green: impulsive but loving activists. Dime a dozen.

Yellow: some activists. Many history, ethics, and liberal arts professors. Some people who‘ve had very hard lives of drug addiction etc and survived it end up here.

Turquoise: people who do LOTS of meditation retreats (until they get it) and maybe psychedelics for growth. Give way more than they take. Influential and stable people. Few and far between.

I don’t know where to find yellow and above either. I’m a stage yellow straight male college student in USA. Thinking about joining some meditation clubs but with COVID everything’s a hassle. Anyone got ideas?

And I always end up breaking up with my gf’s not because I don’t love them but because I feel I’m still driven by ego and can only overcome it with focused diligence, alone. Wish I could find someone above green.

IME and based on my intuition it’s best to date AT your level on the spiral, or on the 9 stages of ego development, or whatever model it may be.

Edited September 11, 2020 by The0Self

[Darodos]

7 minutes ago, The0Self said:

And I always end up breaking up with my gf’s not because I don’t love them but because I feel I’m still driven by ego and can only overcome it with focused diligence, alone. Wish I could find someone above green.

Little bit off topic, but this struck me. See that the wish to overcome your ego is just an appetite of your ego. You don't need to overcome or kill it. After all, what is the ego exactly? It is just a fictional character called "your name" your mind came up with, and that you filter your experiences through. If you say "I need to overcome the ego through focussed dilligence" ... this is just a statement of your ego/mind, believing it can somehow improve itself through overcoming itself, whatever that may mean.

No, this is not the way. If you really want to improve your state of being, be more happy, loving, joyful etc. here is what you do: you just chill and enjoy the fact that you are alive, right now. Done. No prerequisite for that. 

When it comes to egoic reactions in your everyday life, (which is exactly what is fucking up your relationships on a continuous basis) do this: 
You observe yourself and your actions over a period of time in your everyday life. You observe your thoughts, your words when talking to other people, and the actions you take. It requires practice of course to do this. Then you ask yourself: "Am I thinking/saying/doing this out of love/passion for life, or am I doing this because I hope to somehow gain something for myself from this?"

And then you decide for yourself as often as you can to act out of love and passion, instead for selfishness. 

THIS is how you overcome your ego, not through meditation.

And in my experience, being in a close relationship with another human being who also wants to do this, is one of, if not THE best tool to do this kind of work. Because oh boy, there's a LOT of shit going to come up by doing this, and it requires a very high level of self honesty and emotional maturity..

[The0Self]

@Darodos Thank you?
Your last paragraph points to the main reason I end up breaking up with all my partners, but perhaps that’s only what I feel on the surface. Maybe it’s just ego. I’ll continue doing less thinking about anything other than what is and what must be done.

[Darodos]

@The0Self Yeah, I have the feeling that you might be using that "I want to overcome my ego" thing as an excuse you are telling yourself, so you don't have to admit a painful truth to yourself. Something in the line of, being scared of too much intimacy, or scared of growing dependant on the other person, or maybe there starts to develop some drama in the relationships that you don't want to deal with.. etc.. 

Do you think there might be something to what I am saying?

[The0Self]

@Darodos You’re probably right to some degree — I would agree even more if it was something that happens a lot but really I am usually single. But I will certainly try to maintain consciousness in situations where the ego wants to look away from the truth.

[Username]

You can meet 2nd trier people everywhere. There are no social circles for 2nd tier (or at least I'm not aware) because even yellow is too rare. The most important thing is being able to spot someone. Yellow is often hard to destinguish for people in 1st tier. Just by being higher in spiral makes it easier to identify them.

2nd tier might be less sociable because they might see social interactions as a waste of time. I suspect that yellow might have also narrower social circles because they care less about social status. Yellow tend to gravitate to less mainstream activities.

[TrustTheProcess]

6 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

America 

The men are super hot and turquoise. 

 

lol... prob .0001% are centered at turquoise and that is generous. 

 

24 minutes ago, Username said:

2nd tier might be less sociable because they might see social interactions as a waste of time. I suspect that yellow might have also narrower social circles because they care less about social status. 

Not necessarily. Some can be extroverted and centered at Yellow. 

 

[The0Self]

@louhad Yeah. Studies have shown that personality traits don’t really change much — maybe that’s why. A very introverted person who undergoes a big transformation in consciousness may become way more compassionate and less selfish, but they won’t necessarily be more outgoing unless the lack of extraversion was a pathological hindrance in the first place... but of course maybe it was.

[electroBeam]

9 hours ago, Sine said:

Hahaha maybe that is a good idea! Great sex I can imagine...

intercourse coming in from more than just 3 dimensions, the dream isnt it?

[universe]

This forum would be a good start 

No seriously, when you found something let me know.

[Preety_India]

8 hours ago, louhad said:

lol... prob .0001% are centered at turquoise and that is generous.

You're underestimating American men. 

They are much better than half of the planet 

 

[diamondpenguin]

Especially the Pacific northwest men. They are the Male Angels of the world.