Lyubov

Interview with a guy that spent $8000 on PUA coaching & still got 0 results

75 posts in this topic

IMO, it doesn't matter too much how many women you "approach" if you always do it carrying with you the belief that you are awkward/cringy (which in the end means "I'm not loveable"). 

It's a projection of what he believes about himself and works as a self-fulfilling prophecy because the girls he talks to can probably sense it. 

He's probably even sabotaging himself because of this belief. 

So I completely agree with @Lyubov that it would be more beneficial for him to work on these beliefs. It can be done at the same time than going out there and meeting girls. Just saying that working on his self esteem + a more natural approach than pick up would help him more IMO.

Those pick up strategies seem so artificial because many guys seem to be parroting something they watched another guy do. When you just go out, meet new people without the mindset of turning it into a pick up training, you naturally learn how to relate to people in a less artificial way.

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3 hours ago, Jennjenn said:

May I ask, were this approaches to women at random, or were there to specific women that fit your type. 

Random, but who I found were fairly attractive. I have pretty high standards for what I find attractive. If my standards were lower I would get laid a lot more.

One important thing pickup taught me was to significantly lower my standards because they were ridiculously high.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Random, but who I found were fairly attractive. I have pretty high standards for what I find attractive. If my standards were lower I would get laid a lot more.

Have your resulted come more from daygame or nightgame? 

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8 minutes ago, Joel3102 said:

Have your resulted come more from daygame or nightgame? 

It's hard to do a lot of day time approaches. Day time approaches have to be much more solid given their rarity. Majority of my approaches were night time. Simply given that, more results will come from night because it is a numbers game.

But my first success was from day.

Day is best, if only you could find enough hot girls during the day. They tend to be very rare and it's not so good for practice. Day is when you have to execute already solid game so it looks smooth and chill and effortless. Night is best for rapid training and fun, and if you want same-night results.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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13 hours ago, Meta-Man said:

Then spend the next 8000$ on psychedelics.

Topic closed. ??


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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That $8000 would have been better spent traveling to Vegas and living here for 3 months of non-stop club action.

You gotta be smart with how you invest your money.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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8 hours ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Recursoinominado Could you please elaborate? 

Well, very simple. 

Pick-up is a skill, like meditation, it needs practice. 

I can pay some enlightened guru to teach me everything he knows about meditation and, in the end, get zero results because I didn't practice it, only accumulated information, which clearly isn't the point of meditation.

Pick-up is like that, you can have the best teachers 1-on-1 with you, if you do not approach, you will not learn.

You can learn for free if you watch a few free videos on YT and go out to practice it.

People love to cut corners, paying high sums of money to teachers in order to not do the work and then they are surprised it didn't worked. 

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He got scammed imo. a lot of pick up boot camps are way overpriced and I've seen a lot of reviews where some teachers are basically running scams. 

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2 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

He got scammed imo. a lot of pick up boot camps are way overpriced and I've seen a lot of reviews where some teachers are basically running scams. 

Define a "scam".

This is way too simplistic. 

If you paid for some self-development program and got nothing out of it, chances are, you are just too dumb to grasp the depth of the knowledge presented to you.

Seems like you are expecting the teacher to do the work for you, as most lazy people do. And when that doesn't work, they get upset and say it' a scam.

I would bet that even if the program is very basic, if you apply the principles, you will get something out of it. A lot of people came to these programs with this "cup full" mentality, they see themselves as knowledgable and don't really grasp what the teacher is saying because they are always thinking "I know that already", but really, they don't or they only have a superficial understanding and think they are experts. 

Those people go to self-development programs expecting mind-blowing complex concepts and when they find the same concepts that they once heard but ignored thinking it was too basic, even if they completely fail to see its depth, they will say they got scammed. 

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yeah he just needs to go out more and stop spending all that money on coaching and just get experience. I was a hardcore newbie also and took probably more approaches than Leo to get my first proper result. He needs to get at least 500 approaching in then revaualte, lets face it some people are just lazy and need to fix there mindset. I prob got rejected over a 1000s times and I never complained once because I knew deep down I would get there if I just kept going and low and behold I did. 

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Really? Why so many "approaches"?

Of course practice is useful, but why would you need to approach 1000 women to get any results? 

Why not do the things you like and let it happen naturally instead of learning some strategy and copying some formula to then "use it on a girl"? 

I don't even think I've talked to so many women in my life in general and haven't needed to approach 1000 women to get laid lol. 

Edited by Farnaby

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18 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

Why not do the things you like and let it happen naturally instead of learning some strategy and copying some formula to then "use it on a girl"? 

Holy shit, dude, this is genius! No one has ever thought about doing this before :o

Really? You are in a self-development forum and wonder why deliberately practicing skills, setting and achieving big goals are important? Why not just let things happen naturally? Why meditate? This isn't natural! Stop trying to copy some formula to develop self-mastery, just let the monkey-mind take over and be miserable like a normal person ;) 

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@Recursoinominado sorry if you felt triggered by what I said. 

I see lots of value in self actualization and self inquiry, to remove layers of suffering. 

I also see value in going out there and talking to women to get better at it and developing social skills in general. 

What I don't agree with is this idea that you need to approach hundreds of girls before your first "success". The words approaching, success, getting a top girl, etc., all sound very objectifying and IMO that's what makes so many girls reject the guys who are approaching them with this attitude. It sounds like a job where you're trying to prove something to yourself ("oh wow I slept with this hot girl, so I must be awesome. Wait, this guy has slept with more women than me, I have to keep trying harder to be above him" lol).

Of course pick up is just a method and it depends on how you use it. That's why I think it can be useful. But a lot of what I've seen is needy guys trying to calm their lack of self-esteem through getting X number of girls to sleep with them. 

It's like trying to raise your self esteem through grinding ranks in a video game. You will never be satisfied that way because it doesn't solve the underlying issue though.

Another problem I see is that many people are copying some role model (who told them: "if you say/do this and that, followed by XYZ she will fall for you") so deep down they know if a girl falls for them she actually fell for a façade. 

Just my opinion though. If it works for you it's great.

Edited by Farnaby

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17 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

@Recursoinominado sorry if you felt triggered by what I said. 

Buddy, don't worry about me, my goal here is to wake people out of this arrogance position in which they keep talking and shitting on something that they are clueless about and THEN missing on the life-changing benefits of it and that's just sad to me.

 

19 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

 

What I don't agree with is this idea that you need to approach hundreds of girls before your first "success". The words approaching, success, getting a top girl, etc., all sound very objectifying and IMO that's what makes so many girls reject the guys who are approaching them with this attitude. It sounds like a job where you're trying to prove something to yourself ("oh wow I slept with this hot girl, so I must be awesome. Wait, this guy has slept with more women than me, I have to keep trying harder to be above him" lol).

Again, all of this stems from a fundamental assumption that you know what you are talking about, which you don't. What I want here is for you to drop this idea that I have made of what PickUp is and go look into it deeply and practice it.

All you have said are superficial, apparent stuff, this is what most people think when they talk about pick up.

And this is also how most newbies think when they START this journey.

First of all, you don't have to approach hundreds of girls before your first success. It all extremely personal, some people are way ahead of other when they begin, depending on several factors like charisma, confidence, social intelligence, self-esteem, previous experience with women, knowledge about PU etc.

Second of all, success is a personal definition, some might define success as saying hi girls, some as having sex, some as exchanging numbers etc.

This seems obvious but is crucial because if a newbie defines success in PU as having sex, yeah, maybe it will take him hundreds of approaches or more and this will demotivate him a lot. If a newbie defines success as saying hi to anyone, he will have a lot more chances in succeeding. 

It's like defining success in meditation as having super focus one-pointed concentration for 1h straight. Yeah, it will take you years to accomplish it. 

Anyway, PU is way more complex and fluid that you imagine it to be, go do some serious research before making conclusions. 

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4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

One important thing pickup taught me was to significantly lower my standards because they were ridiculously high.

Would this go for potential relationships as well, or just for casual hook ups? 

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@Farnaby talking to hundreds of women is a way you can build confidence and skills with women, confidence in life (that carries over), teaches you how to be authentic, find out what you want in girls and what you don't want, what girls dont find attractive and what they do, help you find a specific girl or get the sex life you want. 

Complimented with... getting clear on your intentions, reframing rejection in a positive way, letting go of childhood and adult trauma, building self esteem, realizing detachment with women, having focus on other areas of your life as well 

This how I do it

Letting things happen leads to lower success and left to luck imo. 

There are also lots of great dating coaches, methods, and tools 

Careful to throw the baby out with the bathwater... dr.k has a partial understanding of game, through a negative lens 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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@Recursoinominado He did 300 approaches which should be enough for most guys. Doing 1000 approaches for 1 lay is crazy unless you going for 10/10 hot girls or something. He is not even ugly which i find weird for him to struggle like this. He has other problems that he needs to solve, even 5000 approaches wont work unless you have your inner shit together imo. 

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This is why it isn't wise to spend thousands on a pickup course. The courses are great and give you plenty of tips, but there's loads of videos on YouTube about pickup now, all for free. 

My advice to anyone new to pickup: Just go out with an experienced wingman, learn from him and take action yourself. You can do this for free too.

And like Leo has said, just move to/live near a big city with loads of hot girls.

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@Recursoinominado tbh, someone who claims to be here to wake people up from their arrogance sounds pretty arrogant to me. 

I just stated my opinion (which of course is based on partial experience and biased). I could also say the same about you: since you're attached to pick up, you're going to defend it no matter what. 

In the end it doesn't matter. If pick up helps people become more confident, authentic and get the life they want, good for them. 

And thank you but I'm not interested in approaching lots of random girls lol. 

 

 

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2 hours ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Recursoinominado He did 300 approaches which should be enough for most guys. Doing 1000 approaches for 1 lay is crazy unless you going for 10/10 hot girls or something.

You are looking at this in terms of sex.

The proper way to look at it is in terms of growth.

He's not doing those 1000 approaches to get 1 hot girl. He's doing it to overcome his fears and to develop strength as a man. That development will pay dividends for a lifetime. So it's worth doing even if you only get 1 or 2 lays out of it.

And like I said, result grow exponentally. So the next 1000 appraoches after that could produce 2-4 lays. And the next 1000, 4-8 lays, and the next 1000, 8-16 lays. And by that point you are getting more pussy than most guys can dream of.

Business works the same way. The first few years of starting a biz, you work non-stop but earn nothing.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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