Im dissapointed in what i read here.

[Eph75]

25 minutes ago, Shin said:

Meditation will make you more conscious, but that's all it will do.

You still need to solve the situations you need to solve.

It's unlikely you will truly solve anything if you're blind though.

So true, working multiple approaches at the same time enhances the likelihood of success outcome.

[Parththakkar12]

@Eph75 Are you saying all of this after you have the relationships/social life you want? Cuz that's not the case for a lot of people who enter spirituality, i.e. a lot of people use meditation as a crutch/escape hatch from life.

7 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

Our desires are enormous. When we can look past our desires, our needs may - and most often will - show up already fulfilled.

This doesn't make complete sense from a Law of Attraction perspective, i.e. on a vibrational level, what we genuinely want manifests immediately. When it's not a genuine desire, though (and we can delude ourselves that we want something when we really don't) then what'll get reflected is the opposite of what we're asking for. What you're probably saying is that when we question our desires, we'll be able to separate the authentic ones from the fake ones, and that seeing that the fake ones were fake will be a relief for us. Although when it really is a genuine desire, you'll not be able to let it go. You'll have to go get what you want and fulfill your desire before you even realize that it didn't end your suffering! Once you have that realization, and you're just suffering with no answer/no particular desire, then it's time for self-enquiry/enlightenment work/surrendering to your death. The cycle works in this specific order. I've verified it multiple times through personal experience.

If you mess up the order, it could cause problems like using meditation to escape the reality of what you want, and your limiting beliefs around your ability to get what you want.

17 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

I just enjoy a continuously increasing sober perspective of my own illusion, trying to absorb right now.

Sounds like an infinitely peaceful experience!

[Eph75]

20 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Are you saying all of this after you have the relationships/social life you want?

No, I'm saying that I was ready to throw everything out, I was miserable, but I changed, my mind changed and it saw that the problem was in me. I entered spirituality from self-actualization, it's a natural progression, but I started with self-actualization because my life was not working for me, I had myself stuck in a very, very long depression and my self-esteem was completely shattered.

A lot of us are not so different, at all, we're at different stages of our developmental growth.

20 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

This doesn't make complete sense

I know that it doesn't make sense  that's because you need to have that insight first.

How do you "tell" someone what they're lacking, in such a way that they get that insight. You can't  The only thing you can do is to show that there is light on the other end of that tunnel, but it's not easy to get there, it will take a lot of work. But it is worth it. Just remember that you have to throw everything you think you know and hold true out the door in order to allow yourself to see anew.

A lot of people end up "here" due to crisis. I had multiple. Personal/relationship crumbling, work was killing me and then my niece committed suicide. There was not one single point at which I suddenly realized that my way of being no longer worked for me. It was over a period of a couple of years, where these event unfolded in sequence.

Consider this, if you are looking for something, what is it inside you that resist taking in what may be your own salvation?  

The kick in the nuts is that it's all deceptively simple... in retrospect.

Edited January 3, 2020 by Eph75

[Eph75]

38 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

This doesn't make complete sense from a Law of Attraction perspective, i.e. on a vibrational level, what we genuinely want manifests immediately.

What I do believe is that when you want something, coming from a positive mental space, you affect your behavior in ways that are both conscious but also unconscious and the results from that is that things seemingly unfold in a positive manner.

If you just imagine wanting something and you sit on a chair in your home, doing nothing, nothing much else than happenstance will happen. Beware of confirmation bias, imagine something and when it happens you confirm "law of attaction" working, while you have more times doing the same without effect. Shit happens

But if you change your mindset, from a positive place, you change your behaviors and take actions that from a cause-and-effect POV unfolds series of events that produces results that give a return of your investment over time.

Law of attraction without actually doing anything is quite a bit like meditating expecting it to fix all, it's just dreaming that something will magically appear out of nowhere.

Know what you want, take small conscious actions - unconscious actions and effects will follow - and it is quite likely that you will get what you want - law of attraction. Once things start to happen, stuff tend to happen in sequence.

Wanting - needing - having. Consider the differences and how they might affect your behavior and how they may be related to you mental/emotional state.

Edited January 3, 2020 by Eph75

[Parththakkar12]

43 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

If you just imagine wanting something and you sit on a chair in your home, doing nothing, nothing much else than happenstance will happen. Beware of confirmation bias, imagine something and when it happens you confirm "law of attaction" working, while you have more times doing the same without effect.

Our minds have become more and more scientific over time, i.e. we don't have miracles/magic happening in today's day and age. That's why, if you just imagine something, if it's not according to the laws of the physical/3D world, it won't manifest! Those parts of you which are scientific/3D in level of consciousness will resist it. This is why action matters.

[Eph75]

@Parththakkar12 That's assuming that miracles/magic ever has happened or could happen. While being open to the possibility, and I'd love to be positively surprised, until then, that remains fantasy to me.

If law of attraction has proven works for you on that level, good for you  I'm pragmatic when it comes to these things.

Tell me, how is that working out for you?

[28 cm unbuffed]

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Your issue is more basic than meditation. Meditation is not going to fix your neediness because you're not at a level of development yet where you can even take meditation seriously.

The advice for you is: work on your isolation, learn to socialize, build social skills, develop friends, develop dating skills, have sex, and THEN meditation will help you reach higher levels.

Meditation is not a shortcut for avoiding learning basic survival skills like dating, making money, proper diet, etc. Meditation is a rather advanced skill for people who have already become proficient at survival and want to reach the next level.

Once you've had a bunch of sex and made a bunch of money, then you ask, "Okay, what's next?" That's where meditation starts to look appealing.

I must argue with what @Leo Gura wrote here. I chose the backwards path - i decided that I will love myself unconditionally first, no matter where I work or how much money / sex i have.

And i came to a point, where I truly love myself without having all of these things. And right now i TRULY know what I want from life and using meditation for 2 years i reached spiritual awakening. 

I'm a heyoka empath (INFJ) and I'm following the backwards path, that is crazy for most of people but for me it's really wise approach. 

Only when you truly love yourself, you know what you truly want from life.

I remember watching one of Leo's videos (one in which he is wearing white shirt for the first time) and he said something like - "now this work becomes truly passionate and what I want, before it was more of hard work and grind".

So, basically, he was doing all of it forcefully, not because he loved what he does. 

Edited January 3, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Parththakkar12]

Here's how it works : We're all one on an emotional level. You can verify this with spiritual practices, emotional consciousness, etc. Desire basically is forward movement, i.e. when you want something you naturally gravitate towards it. The reason for this is complicated. In short, you, as an unconscious ego, suffer inherently and you desire the opposite experience of your suffering, so you move towards it.

The universe, which is a mirror reflection of you, reflects to you what you want/the truth of who you are in the most optimal way possible. Now as humans, we live in the 3D paradigm because our senses show us a 3D reality. That's why, we're oblivious to all of this happening, especially if we're unconscious. This gets in the way of direct manifestation of what we want, also there's all sorts of internal resistance, confusion and unsurity of what we want. Even that stuff manifests externally, so in practice, we manifest a weird mix of what we believe, what we want, who we are, etc. including all the limiting beliefs, etc. It basically is a mirror of who you are. That's why inner work is so powerful!

The point of all of this is to lead the ego to the Truth of what it is, that's why the mirror!

[Eph75]

@Parththakkar12 Oh sorry, what I meant with "how is that working for you" was, in what ways have you empirically experienced law attraction from a magic point-of-view, having it it fulfill your desires  what has it brought you that was not related to conscious or subconscious actions taken by you.

Of course, subconscious actions, being subconscious would probably appear magical.

[Parththakkar12]

@Eph75 Everything I told you is based on direct experience! It's an everyday thing for me where I wait for the universe to reflect to me the ways in which I'm resisting what I want, then I do the inner work to resolve those conflicts. It's compounded my levels of inner peace to unimaginable levels. Also, it's helped me gain significant clarity on my vision for the future. Part of the reason I found spirituality was being lost in my life. Also, it's helped me understand relationships in incredible depths, i.e. I'm able to see how my internal aspects reflect externally as people and it helps raise the consciousness of my relationships!

Manifestation literally is magical, as Leo says! No mechanism to it, it's just spontaneous! Another way of interpreting LoA is that the whole universe is a creation of your Infinite Mind, i.e. you are the God creating your reality.

Edited January 3, 2020 by Parththakkar12

[Eph75]

@Parththakkar12 Yes, all that makes perfect sense to me  We're essentially just describing the same thing from two different perspectives, via different words.

[Display_Name]

Imagine relying on actualized.org/forum for actual dating advice

[Alyosha]

21 minutes ago, Display_Name said:

Imagine relying on actualized.org/forum for actual dating advice

It's better than going to ktt mr. die lit 

[Shin]

5 hours ago, Eph75 said:

So true, working multiple approaches at the same time enhances the likelihood of success outcome.

If we emphasize too much one aspect, we either become like 99.99% of the population, which is highly disfunctional (doing doing doing), or we spiritually bypass and just get emotionally disconnected from everything (meditating nonstop).

Needs both.

[Nahm]

20 hours ago, Svartsaft said:

Alot of desperatly alone people here it seems.

That’s not true. There could be someone here who moved to Alaska etc, and is alone...but outside of such an anomaly, virtually no person here is alone. This is a thought which arises, and is believed. Meditation is great for letting thoughts pass, and choosing thoughts that feel good. 

In toxic relationships. Stalking. Needy.

There are toxic reactions and behaviors, but there isn’t a “relationship” which can be said to be toxic. It’s a perspective.  This is a thought which arises, and is believed. Meditation is great for letting thoughts pass, and choosing thoughts that feel good. 

And they all do meditation? Follow whatever is going on here? It makes me lose hope that meditation will help me at all. 

When you compare yourself to other people, you have already adopted a false perspective of separation, noted in that it doesn’t feel good when you believe it & repeat it. This is a thought which arises, and is believed. Meditation is great for letting thoughts pass, and choosing thoughts that feel good. 

Im in alot of pain from being completly alone.

That’s not actually true. True aloneness is bliss. This is a thought about being alone in negative aspects, not in truth . This is a thought which arises, and is believed. Meditation is great for letting thoughts pass, and choosing thoughts that feel good. 

Should i meditate?

Up to you. You have to choose happiness and letting go. No one can do these for you. 

Or do i seek out other people?

BOTH. But it’s not about being alone, or not being alone. It’s about letting thoughts / perspectives go - which do not feel good to you. This is a thought which arises, and is believed. Meditation is great for letting thoughts pass, and choosing thoughts that feel good. 

I really cant. Insecure. I thought meditation would make me better. 

Sure you can. It’s effortless when you acknowledge such thought, which do not feel good, are not true. This is a thought which arises, and is believed. Meditation is great for letting thoughts pass, and choosing thoughts that feel good. 

It bathers me somewhat seeing what people write in here. The fuck? I just assume they meditate. 

What people say isn’t what bothers you. What you think about it, is what you feel the relativity to, that’s what bothers you. This is a thought which arises, and is believed. Meditation is great for letting thoughts pass, and choosing thoughts that feel good. 

 

[Derek White]

Actually just listen to @Nahm's answer, he articulated it well. 

But one question @Nahm, If thoughts are images, representations of data from senses, then shouldn't we not feel good or bad, just like we don't feel good or bad when we look at something other than thought without judging it? One could think of a brutal murder scene and not feel 'sad' if one truly looks at it with detachment.

Edited January 6, 2020 by Derek White

[Nahm]

@Derek White Is there only relativity? 

[Derek White]

@Nahm Yes, as long as there’s an ‘I’ but I think you can transcend that and see things the way they are. So why do you think there are ‘good’ thoughts? Thoughts are thoughts aren’t they?

[Nahm]

6 minutes ago, Derek White said:

So why do you think there are ‘good’ thoughts?

I don’t.

6 minutes ago, Derek White said:

Thoughts are thoughts aren’t they?

Yes, of course. What are thoughts?

[DreamScape]

On 1/3/2020 at 6:31 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

I'm a heyoka empath (INFJ) and I'm following the backwards path, that is crazy for most of people but for me it's really wise approach. 

Same here. Although for me, I was so dysfunctional that it was just really difficult for me to function because I would be so anxious and critical. Clearing chakras and shadow work has allowed me to communicate better and function in the world more focused and clear. I figure that clearing myself out, I'll be able to go into the world more focused and passionate than ever. I wouldn't be able to do the things I want to do without spirituality and the healing work I've done on myself, I know that for sure. My suggestion: do what you feel is most right. 

For me, this is a clear example of the counter intuitive nature of life.