khalifa

can't fall asleep after 5meo bad trip, it's been 4 days please help

125 posts in this topic

Just now, khalifa said:

@peanutspathtotruth

skipping around instinctively

Fair enough. Just saying: to let it unfold and listen to the whole sessions does wonders, even for just relaxing you. It's not about the words, it's about the feeling. Just a recommendation though. 

All the best to you ❤️

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Posted (edited)

Are you going through something similar to this?

Edited by Good-boy

"Tear off the mask. Your face is glorious." - Rumi

 

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13 minutes ago, Good-boy said:

Are you going through something similar to this?

 

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@cetus56  Interesting I'm being pursued by reality, I thought we always were, aren't we always vulnerable?

 

@Good-boy  similar but different

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15 hours ago, Good-boy said:

Are you going through something similar to this?

holyy crapp, i just watched that and it terrifies me :(((, i feel so bad for her, i hope she's ok now. Now this makes me scared to try mushrooms :/

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19 hours ago, khalifa said:

Not being the same sounds a little too much to swallow, I love the old days, Vibrations through my body could take a while to get used to, i just hope it doesn't interfere with my sleep, I think i'm amplifying fear due to me thinking something is wrong with me or because i have memories of having a hard time sleeping quick. Sometimes i even get confused if i am feeling anxious or it's just the body vibrating around my heart/spine/core.

Sounds like Purification. Let go. Notice the tendency to leave sigh & sound, and go into thought stories. Return in mindfulness, here & now. Allow the sensations to fill you, and clear out all the delusions. 

19 hours ago, khalifa said:

I notice myself fearful sometimes when i have no thoughts or if i am doing nothing that distracts me, i focus on the pacing vibrations through my body it could be anywhere, sometimes subtle sometimes stronger, and a thought comes by fearfully Is something wrong? Am i going to be alright? Will it always be this way?

I “ notice “myself”. Impossible! :) Not-Two!

everything that follow that word “sometimes”...is a thought story. You are here now, the Awareness of thoughts. Choose a better feeling thought, here now. 

19 hours ago, khalifa said:

As for my dream it's nothing special it was ironically a sexual dream, Probably from me masturbating before bed since i'm trying to drain out the energy via masturbation before bed. Not very spiritual, But i'm just that desperate to be back to normal mode instead of being health paranoid.

 

Careful with discounting dreams, they’re messages of divination, keys to alignment. Allow the feeling of a dream to be a message, in the language of simplicity. Sounds like this one is saying “masturbation, relationship with body, is divine, is as spiritual as spiritual can be - no beating up on your self - that’s always a thought story”. 

You can not actually beat up on yourself. Not-two!

You are awareness of thought.

Reiki love comin your way my man. Let go :) ♥️😢

 


  Nonduality & Meditations  Now

   “Forget the lies you heard, rise above the hurt, and listen to these words...you are beloved.” - Jordan Feliz.  

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Posted (edited)

@Nahm

 

I'm confused, i have random moments of fear, even when i'm doing something that is supposed to be enjoyable like watching a series or hanging out with my dad. (Tbh i'm confused i don't even know if it's anxiety/fear all i know i'm not thinking about anything scary, but the feeling of vibrations around the heart area/spine/back/ass confuse me)

I second guess myself thinking is this mild ptsd or kundalini? I even had a moment where i woke once heavy breathing.

If it was kundulini i'm supposed to feel bliss right? I don't think i'm experiencing any bliss, Although there was a moment where i felt like my legs are getting massaged, Could it be a mixture of both?

Edited by khalifa

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34 minutes ago, khalifa said:

@Nahm If it was kundalini i'm supposed to feel bliss right? I don't think i'm experiencing any bliss

No you're not "supposed to" in the sense that just because your kundalini is doing something in you, you should feel bliss. Quite the contrary, you ever heard of "dark night of the soul"? That can take a while and not feel good. Don't neglect how you feel but don't interpret anything into those feelings. You might feel anxious because anxiety is what is getting cleared out of you. Again, you're purifying. Let it do its thing. Choose truthful, beautiful thoughts that make you realize that you ARE the bliss you are supposedly lacking. Even when you don't have pleasurable emotions, you can be blissful. You got this 🙏🏼 We're here to help you. I can't recommend Matt Kahn enough since you already resonated yesterday. Pick a video title that speaks to you and let it in :)

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Posted (edited)

@peanutspathtotruth

@peanutspathtotruth Dark night of the soul can last up to 2 years, jeez i'm not ready for 2 years of this crap lol

 

I don't think i'm experiencing dark night of the soul tbh, it feels like more like a sudden shock from an accident phase that i will recover from eventually

 

@moon777light stay clean listen to intuition, i know i messed up when i went against it, my ego just wanted to prove it's cool by doing ibogaine/5meo, now i don't even dare microdosing on the shrooms i got

 

I didn't realize i was already complete before taking any, it's always going to be perfect at every moment regardless of if you take them or not, I just have a preference for less suffering and more appreciation/relaxing into life which i was already doing before taking them, they just amplified me to do it more often now, pain helps you be grateful at least in my experience, i do not feel the spiritual benefits of what people speak off when it comes to 5meo not yet, not even sure if i ever will at this rate

Edited by khalifa

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Posted (edited)

@khalifa i really wish you a safe journey, this agony will end on its own, and youll be back as before <3. I read an article on spiritual emergnecies and it said that its vital to stay as present as possible and fully feel all the emotions and sensations youre experiencing every given moment.

  Im not versed in 5meo doses as much, is 15-25mg a high dose? Also, how was your envirnoment like, did you have a clear intention during the trip? was it your first time. Did you take it again? 

I havent tried any yet, but i keep getting signs over and over to try shrooms. (777 appears on shroom growing websites, when i was traveling on a bus it was raining outside and the humidity fogged the window, except for one see-through area that was shaped EXACTLY like a group of psilocybin mushrooms, and i have already 2 dreams about them at least). 

Edit: found the article about the Dark Night, i hope this helps you

http://undividedjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/dark-night-undivided-final-edit-corrected.pdf

Edited by moon777light

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Posted (edited)

@moon777light For my well being right now, i'm sorry but i'm not going to answer your questions i feel like it's too early to re-explore it

As for the Dark Knight link, i'm not sure anymore, i see my mind chasing for answers on how to deal with things, i just feel like letting go of control, it'll all settle in time, i don't need to copy anyone out there even if they are pieces of me, i'll just trust in my process as it'll find its place, And i've seen so many contradictions of various teachings already from don't meditate to meditate and feel yourself. It just doesn't make sense at times i feel like no one really knows what's going on, or rather my unique mindstream situation is different, i need to cope with it in my intuitive ways instead.

 

Thank you for caring.

 

I should quit the forums already, i keep finding myself back here because i have nothing to do lost in boredom.

Edited by khalifa

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2 hours ago, khalifa said:

@moon777light I should quit the forums already, i keep finding myself back here because i have nothing to do lost in boredom.

Taking some weeks or months off the forum can greatly help in my experience. I will do that as well actually.

All the best to you 🙏🏼

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Posted (edited)

Update: it's been 3 weeks 2 days

I still struggle to sleep every night it's a rollercoaster, some days seem easier while some days seem harder and longer nights.

Mostly the symptom I'm facing the most difficulty with is the vibration intensity, it's felt 24/7, And is obvious at night especially when trying to sleep, all over my body, Spinal cord, body, ass, legs, arms, Most vibration is felt around the spinal cord to heart area. It comes up to my head too, sometimes it does vibrate close to my brain and my tinnitus  gets agitated it gets loud and annoying.

Although the brain always is sensitive and does have a steady vibration of it's own I'm kind of used to it, but it can get so annoying when i focus on it. No idea what to focus on when i'm on bed.

My vision feels off, it feels darker like energy when my eyes are closed.

I managed to get like 3-4 dreams so far so i guess i am falling a sleep. Dreams i get are nothing special just mundane life like me playing a game or having sex. Nothing spiritual nothing special. Actually I do remember a dream where i took mushrooms and i freaked out as i was losing my sense of reality, I would never take them honestly no idea why i dreamt that. I hated it on the dream it was just too insane intense and unstable that I loathe it. I prefer mundane stable life ironically..

I am improving but improvement is slow, And just 30minutes ago i felt like i was going to die on bed so i freaked out and got up here typing this.

I've had another strange alternate state of consciousness last week.

It's like my consciousness was frozen in time, And every thought i had would come to life, they all had weight and a certain feeling, Like when i said why? It spawned and fell on my head and i felt it on my face, When i said something nice it felt warm, and it would interact with my body, When i said something bad it interacted with my body and didn't feel good, was quite unpleasant.

I have no idea what's going on with me i don't feel special or spiritual, i feel like my body has gotten sensitive and is a mess. As for my ego i notice myself being cranky at life because i can't get enough sleep.

 

Fuck i'm afraid if this shit is permanent, Who knows maybe it'll wear out in 2months or 8months or 2 years, jeez i don't know but i do feel like i've improved on being much more grounded in my waking state but it feels like i'm just trying to distract myself all day running away from it, Moments before bed or whenever the sun sets and its dark i have these thoughts like, oh shit i'm going to have to face another painful terror long night again. It comes and goes every now and then throughout the day, mostly at night its more active before bed, How the fuck do i relax, I miss meditating, I can't do that because i feel like it triggers things in me that make me go unstable or make it longer to recover.

 

Help : (

 

I forgot to mention i did do ibogaine like 2 weeks + 5 days ago before my trip, Did Ibogaine TA @ 1g, not sure if this is why my 5meo trip is different, is it because my valves were like more open and 5meo made all that energy overflow due to the clean up from the past ibogaine? Just wondering.

 

Edited by khalifa

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Have you sought medical advice?

after 3 weeks and 2 days of the symptoms you have described, i’d be having a very honest conversation with a doctor and asking for a referral to a relevant expert.

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11 hours ago, khalifa said:

@studentofthegame

No I honestly don't trust the medical/pharma field

@khalifa I understand your lack of trust, but I would strongly advise to get your health checked and seek medical advice. You don’t have to do everything a doctor tells you too, but IMO having your health checked is important and would help you get some clues on what may be going on.

Best case scenario: you’re fine on a physiological level and this will make it easier for you to relax.

Worst case scenario: there’s a physiological problem that you wouldn’t be aware of without getting tested for it. You get advice on how you can deal with it and if it doesn’t convince you you can go for a second opinion or not follow the advice.

 

 

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