billiesimon

What's the true nature of women's sex drive?

36 posts in this topic

I keep seeing this duality of theories about female sex drives.

On one hand you hear almost all men saying that women have a low libido/low sex drive, and show interest in sex only occasionally or half the times a man does. There are also a lot of articles by men stating this opinion, based on personal experience.

On the other hand you hear feminist philosophers talking about how women have the same high sex drive as men, if not even higher.
And I don't understand if this is just some rhretoric to abolish slut shaming, and let women be free to have sex, or if they actually are endorsing this theory.

In my own experience they seemed quite horny, but I'm not so sure if they were high sex drive, because they preferred me to make the first moves leading to bed, so I don't quite understand where they stood in therm of libido.

What's the truth on your opinion?

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6 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

I keep seeing this duality of theories about female sex drives.

On one hand you hear almost all men saying that women have a low libido/low sex drive, and show interest in sex only occasionally or half the times a man does. There are also a lot of articles by men stating this opinion, based on personal experience.

On the other hand you hear feminist philosophers talking about how women have the same high sex drive as men, if not even higher.
And I don't understand if this is just some rhretoric to abolish slut shaming, and let women be free to have sex, or if they actually are endorsing this theory.

In my own experience they seemed quite horny, but I'm not so sure if they were high sex drive, because they preferred me to make the first moves leading to bed, so I don't quite understand where they stood in therm of libido.

What's the truth on your opinion?

I'm of the mind that women rival men in regards to sex drive, which runs counter to most folk wisdom about the topic. I think this because I can't imagine that a man would think that much more about sex than I do, which is often. So, the difference, in my view, is slight.

That said, women are less likely to want to have sex. And this is for several reasons.

Number one, for men sex is a medium risk, high reward activity. For women, sex is a high risk, low reward activity (most of the time). So, women are inclined to be more selective about sex because they are less likely to feel physical pleasure and sexual satisfaction but are risking pregnancy and have to be vulnerable to someone stronger than them. Also, they are more likely to contract STDs from men than men are from women. So, these are the practicals.

But even moreso than this, women's satisfaction during sex has to do with emotional stimulation and fulfillment. So, not just any sex will do. There is a relatively high bar for what is good sex for a woman, and most of it's bad sex. For men, their satisfaction has most to do with a physical body reaction as this is what produces a child. And so, mostly, all sex is good sex for them. 

So, if we think of this in a different analogy, let's take enjoyment of food. So, let's say there are thoughts that men enjoy food more than women.

And men in this imaginary society will eat any food and be excited about it, as long as it's okay. So, men will enjoy fast food, gas station food, casual dining, fine dining, etc. Men just love food, and are more simple about it.

But the women in this imaginary society are naturally pickier with their food. And so, unless it's just the right food, eating something else is so putrid to them that they'd rather not eat at all. But when they do enjoy food, they enjoy it in a way that the men do not. They take in all the textures and flavors that the men don't. Men just like eating, women like experiencing all the sensual pleasures of the food and not just any food will satisfy. Their palettes are more refined, let's say. 

So, this is essentially what the difference is. So, at that point you can ask the question of who is more sexual and ask the question. 

So, who loves food more... Is it the person who will eat anything and just loves eating? Or is it the person who is more of a food connoisseur who has a more refined palette, that won't be particularly satisfied by a McDonald's cheeseburger?  

 

 


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42 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

I keep seeing this duality of theories about female sex drives.

On one hand you hear almost all men saying that women have a low libido/low sex drive, and show interest in sex only occasionally or half the times a man does. There are also a lot of articles by men stating this opinion, based on personal experience.

On the other hand you hear feminist philosophers talking about how women have the same high sex drive as men, if not even higher.
And I don't understand if this is just some rhretoric to abolish slut shaming, and let women be free to have sex, or if they actually are endorsing this theory.

In my own experience they seemed quite horny, but I'm not so sure if they were high sex drive, because they preferred me to make the first moves leading to bed, so I don't quite understand where they stood in therm of libido.

What's the truth on your opinion?

My opinion is women are usually slower to enter into a sexual relationship with another person, but once she is comfortable with that person atleast in my case every girl has had quite a hit higher of a sex drive.  But only once they are comfortable with you and it's kind of routine, based off who wants to hook up it might appear as though guys have higher sex drive


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18 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm of the mind that women rival men in regards to sex drive, which runs counter to most folk wisdom about the topic. I think this because I can't imagine that a man would think that much more about sex than I do, which is often. So, the difference, in my view, is slight.

That said, women are less likely to want to have sex. And this is for several reasons.

Number one, for men sex is a medium risk, high reward activity. For women, sex is a high risk, low reward activity (most of the time). So, women are inclined to be more selective about sex because they are less likely to feel physical pleasure and sexual satisfaction but are risking pregnancy and have to be vulnerable to someone stronger than them. Also, they are more likely to contract STDs from men than men are from women. So, these are the practicals.

But even moreso than this, women's satisfaction during sex has to do with emotional stimulation and fulfillment. So, not just any sex will do. There is a relatively high bar for what is good sex for a woman, and most of it's bad sex. For men, their satisfaction has most to do with a physical body reaction as this is what produces a child. And so, mostly, all sex is good sex for them. 

So, if we think of this in a different analogy, let's take enjoyment of food. So, let's say there are thoughts that men enjoy food more than women.

And men in this imaginary society will eat any food and be excited about it, as long as it's okay. So, men will enjoy fast food, gas station food, casual dining, fine dining, etc. Men just love food, and are more simple about it.

But the women in this imaginary society are naturally pickier with their food. And so, unless it's just the right food, eating something else is so putrid to them that they'd rather not eat at all. But when they do enjoy food, they enjoy it in a way that the men do not. They take in all the textures and flavors that the men don't. Men just like eating, women like experiencing all the sensual pleasures of the food and not just any food will satisfy. Their palettes are more refined, let's say. 

So, this is essentially what the difference is. So, at that point you can ask the question of who is more sexual and ask the question. 

So, who loves food more... Is it the person who will eat anything and just loves eating? Or is it the person who is more of a food connoisseur who has a more refined palette, that won't be particularly satisfied by a McDonald's cheeseburger?  

 

 

Nice and rich explanation.

Well, to be honest there are also cases where these two preferences blend. Some men prefer quality sex or else they'll prefer to work (I'm like that, I'm not interested in shallow sex), and some women are into quick random sexual activities.

But it's generally true: a lot of men are into random-quality sex, and a lot of women want the sensual magic experience. So yeah, that might be the actual difference between men and women.

Who's more interested in sex? I think both, in the end. 

It's just a difference of perspective. But men's perspective on this topic is usually all about "women don't want to have a lot of quick and boring sex, so they are frigid."

On the other hand I've heard a lot of female friends of mine lamenting that their bf is NOT interested in true sex, since he just wants to be a little bit stimulated and then wants to go play videogames alone (which is absolutely horrifying in my opinion O.o).

To be honest, I've heard a lot of girls whining about "low quality sex" from their boyfriends.

This should imply that girls generally like sex a lot, but at the same time are disgusted by mechanical and "distraction" sex.
I have to agree with girls: it makes absolutely no sense to have sex just for the quick shallow stimulation.

So yeah, if we adopt the perspective of quality sex, women are generally more sexual than men.

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@billiesimon

Sex for women is an emotional thing first, physical second. Thus foreplay starts way before the bedroom action.

Her testosterone level - the higher the level, the higher her sexual drive.

How 'awakened' her vagina is. Women with a well-toned vagina walls will want more sex and enjoy it better, resulting in big Os under 5-10 mis every time. There are exercises that a woman can do to keep it toned up down there.

Great resource on point and vaginal Kung Fu work-out

https://kimanami.com/ 

 

 

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I would say women açwant as much sex as men, if not more

It's just that they need to be «activated», meaning there needs to be a guy they find attractive enough to think about sex as much as we do or more.

When they do, they can be so horny that it almost look like torture to me 😂


If you want the moon, do not hide from the night
If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns
If you want love, do not hide from yourself

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@Emerald From evolutionary perspective, men were there just to impregnate as many women as possible, they were the semen donors. Right now, at the age of independent women, men are much less needed even for that purpose. Also I came to think that for women, men are a commodity that is widely available (I don't mind or take offence if this is the truth), and therefore a man has to be of a good luck, charm, money, power, muscles, charisma so that you stand out as the market is highly competitive where there is less demand for his "services".

I mean what does the man of today is capable to give a woman that she truly need?

I think I have a very low self-esteem issue here, do you think so? or there is some truth about what I am saying?

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1 hour ago, Wasem said:

@Emerald

I mean what does the man of today is capable to give a woman that she truly need?

 

 

Deep emotional intimacy and security.


If you want the moon, do not hide from the night
If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns
If you want love, do not hide from yourself

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@Natasha that is one random af website. 

"My vagina can lift coconuts, can yours?" 

*That's enough internet for one day* 

😂

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2 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

@Natasha that is one random af website. 

"My vagina can lift coconuts, can yours?" 

*That's enough internet for one day* 

😂

You're only jealous B|


If you want the moon, do not hide from the night
If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns
If you want love, do not hide from yourself

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Just now, Shin said:

You're only jealous B|

😂😂😂

True... True

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Posted (edited)

@Emerald This is pretty accurate in my experience of women from just a more general perspective.

All the sexually active women I have dated have had higher sex drives than me. I can say the same with conversations about sex to some of my female friends.

3 hours ago, Wasem said:

@Emerald From evolutionary perspective, men were there just to impregnate as many women as possible, they were the semen donors. Right now, at the age of independent women, men are much less needed even for that purpose. Also I came to think that for women, men are a commodity that is widely available (I don't mind or take offence if this is the truth), and therefore a man has to be of a good luck, charm, money, power, muscles, charisma so that you stand out as the market is highly competitive where there is less demand for his "services".

I mean what does the man of today is capable to give a woman that she truly need?

I think I have a very low self-esteem issue here, do you think so? or there is some truth about what I am saying?

I don't get your hang up with always comparing the sole biological qualities of being male or female. There are plenty of other qualities both sexes have that both need. So perhaps instead of thinking "what can men offer women or vice versa" try considering all of the qualities a person can have and how they can offer it to those who would enjoy such qualities. Notice how you put way more value into thinking about male vs female distinction vs others like strong vs weak or wealthy vs poor or long hair vs short hair. People are much more than the sex they are born as. Men can provide value in many other ways than having a penis.

Edited by Shadowraix

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Posted (edited)

@Natasha How 'awakened' her vagina is. Women with a well-toned vagina walls will want more sex and enjoy it better.

The higher "you" vibrate, the more well toned the walls become ;) Remember, your always shifting.

 

Edited by pluto

B R E A T H E

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Their lucky they don't have to deal with having a coconut in their pants, when In the mood. Part of the belief they are less horny is probably because they aren't as obvious about it. 


You can't be enlightened, no one can.;)

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Just now, Spiral said:

Their lucky they don't have to deal with having a coconut in their pants, when In the mood. Part of the belief they are less horny is probably because they aren't as obvious about it. 

They do bleed once a month so I mean balances out lmao

And from what I know birth control to manage that has always been hit or miss in side effects.

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@Shadowraix I think bleeding from you genitals on a regular basis is somewhat more irritating ;) 


You can't be enlightened, no one can.;)

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