kev014

n-n DMT Trip Report - I am God

21 posts in this topic

So took n-n DMT last Tuesday and Friday night for the first time and had some interesting revelations. I've taken shrooms and acid a few dozen times but this was a totally different experience, more chaotic, intense and confusing than I would have anticipated. Both times immediately beforehand I felt nervous as shit, as if my soul knew what was coming even if I couldn't imagine it. I had set the intention and meditated/prayed on coming in to contact with my spirit guides or ancestors or whatever loving non-physical entities have been with me throughout my life. Immediately after taking a hit, physical reality seemed to 'disintegrate' and I immediately forgot that I had just taken a hit and was sort of confused what was happening. It felt like being birthed in to a different dimension. I was quickly met with this feeling of encouragement to surrender and to push or expand, like a welcoming almost. There was no real clear individual(s) but just this definite sense of communication/welcoming with the 'other side,' the non physical. It was like they were trying to entice, seduce or play with me. 

There wasn't really much emotion throughout either of the two trips, but a fairly grounded/confident understanding. It was like when I came in to contact with these beings, I had always known at a deep level all my life that there was something else to this reality, something I'd forgotten. It feels like the grief/mourning, sadness and depression I've experienced throughout my life and very heavily this past fall was like my ego mind dying off and purging stuff from my subconscious/childhood. Could also be that the ego mind was doing all it could to continue distracting me as I had had many expansive states of consciousness throughout the prior 2-4 years. Difficult to explain but for a good couple months there were just waves of tears and this sense of like mourning my own death. I remember being in my backyard looking at a red wagon I played with as a kid and just feeling absolutely devastated like my youth was just a dream now. Is this mourning/dark night of the soul par for the course? I know many others go through this, but I haven't ever really heard @Leo Gura talk about his personal experiences with this.

Its like I came in to the trip, had contact and encouragement from these beings, and then shot past them into myself as God. It was just this sense that I am God and that I've always known that and just forgot and had distracted myself all my life. There wasn't that much else to it, but just this sense of it being sort of obvious that I am God, a feeling like 'duh, what did you think?' Those words 'I am God' came up so clearly. 

I had this weird sensation in my body that would look like trying to breath fire out of my mouth, it was as if I was about to explode out of my body, out of my throat and chest mostly. Felt like a freaking galaxy was about to explode out of me, like I would just ROAR it in to existence. Felt like these beings were encouraging me as if to say 'yes, you are God; step in to that,' encouraging me to roar I am God. Again, no sense of panic or anything, but I didn't let myself fully explode out of my body. I've felt terror of 'where am I going' on shrooms before and not surrendering, I think I just didn't anticipate this happening and didn't really want it to so I was able to stop it both times without any negative effects. I can see now how one has to be ready to accept the magnitude of this, to surrender their being to it; it truly is terrifying and gut wrenchingly beautiful. I can see how it will shake you to your fucking core if you let it. I don't think these trips were very emotional/intense (in either a positive or negative way) for me as I just wasn't that conscious and haven't been since I've been depressed the past week or two, eating heavy food and sleeping a ton. I can also see how going unconscious (stopping meditation, eating shitty food, jerking off, etc.) are internal mechanisms to not see the Truth, to distract myself and at a certain level to give myself time to integrate and process emotions. I'm learning to see the intelligence in my unconscious desires and where they are truly coming from.

Also had a felt sense of literally being my father. We argue about stupid shit frequently and seeing this helped me feel more compassionate and to know that the more I let this realization seep in to my mind, the less triggered I will be by others behaviors and the more loving and understanding I will become. I can see now that love isn't really about this fluffy romantic emotion we're conditioned to believe; can't fully say what it actually is about yet, but I'm getting a firmer grasp over time. Being in Boulder (where I was the past week and am moving to in a month), it also became very clear to me how Green sees love. Far healthier than the Orange environment within the Bay Area or my college/fraternity life. Can't figure out how to articulate it right now but I intuitively recognize that this Green love is not the pinnacle, that it is still very judgmental, has a shadow, has an heir of superiority, and lacks true compassion. It's like Green proactively tries to cultivate love, tries to DO love, whereas in higher levels I imagine it just sort of shines through and is self evident. I feel I've gotten tastes of this in the past, just like the trees and birds and the light glimmering in the morning I can feel it all as this sort of non physical love that I am aware of at times and then forget. I can see how Green (and myself wherever I am SD wise) radically underestimates the concept of Oneness/God, to green its just ideology/belief.

Feel very grounded writing this and I definitely intend on doing n-n DMT more and hopefully 5 Meo soon as well. I see now the seriousness of this; the need to integrate afterwards, the need to meditate and sit in stillness beforehand. I could easily do it more and not derive any value from it, or I could transform my entire world view and relationship/understanding of reality, all a matter of the intentionality and consciousness I bring to it. I can also see how these glimpses are important first steps, but they don't really create any changes in our lives until we actualize them, until we actualize ourselves as more and more Godlike. As I've moved out of the Dark Night of the Soul period the past few months (ironic that this happened right as I stopped smoking weed), its like the light is beginning to shine through everything again and I'm starting to see myself in it. Does me being conscious of this and 'evoking the light' and bringing it through effect others in my presence? It seems as I've gone through my awakening process the past 4ish years, the world around me shifts and others are effected by my evolution - not sure if this is just my perspective changing or me projecting on to others or if as I awaken to my God nature, it helps others awaken as well.

Also, when boarding my flight some three hours after this second DMT trip, I had this childlike excitement for what was awaiting me on the plane. The thought was that there would be some interesting person I would soon meet. As I got to my seat, I found a teddy bear that some kid must have left and immediately it reminded me 'I am God and I manifested this teddy bear for myself as a reminder.' Crazy stuff.

Definitely much more to ponder; hope you all enjoyed reading this!

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Sweet! :D

 


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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19 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Sweet! :D

 

Hey Leo, bear with me. It's not easy to explain or ask questions on topics like this. So, here goes. We, everyone in this world, technically is living in duality. We live in a 3D world and in a linear time. And, of course, we live in an ego (mind & body). This life, as we know it, is what makes understanding of non-duality complex.

When a person experiences becoming the No-self (Nothingness), and transforms back into his/her ego on earth (aka Riding the Ox Backwards), it does effect other things in the person's life--the time it happened, the place it happened, the circumstances in which it happened, the events surrounding when it happened, etc etc. It does have a major impact in the person's future--literally. It will fit into the person's circumstances very well and very clearly. What do I mean by this? What do I mean by literally? Well, it's like seeing your entire life spread out in a film, from beginning to end. Then, you decided (as God) to go to the future (like two decades) in your life and cut out some pieces of the film and insert new pieces in hopes that your life will be better. Then, as the ego, when you start living in the film (matrix), you realize that you did edit your film as "God."  This will not be easy to explain in post(s) because a person will have to go into details writing a book. However, if a person decides to try to induce such experiences, I doubt it will be as meaningful. I'm not trying to be negative, ok? I have doubts. That's all.

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@Key Elements I don't know what you're saying. That psychedelics are somehow wrong?

If so, then you need more experience with them.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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You said how you were the one who was making distractions to make your mind wander back into story, well , if you will pay enough attention you will notice that you are also the one who create emotions and they are literally you, fear is no boogeyman , it is you. 

 

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2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Key Elements I don't know what you're saying. That psychedelics are somehow wrong?

No. I didn't say they were wrong. Read what I said again. If I thought they were wrong, I would have told you very straight up. I don't go a roundabout way of explaining things. I don't beat around the bushes.

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Key Elements

If so, then you need more experience with them.

Really? You mean I have yet to experience with them? No thanks. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm saying it straight up. When you decided to take psychedelics, after that shrooms and 5meo clip and beyond those clips, I was listening to each of your videos very carefully. I was hoping to learn something profoundly different, like you experiencing God and changing your future. Then, when you decided to live your life as the ego, you realized and discovered that you did change your future as God in the past. You, as God, changed it because you were looking at it from a bird's eye view. Yes, this does very much relates to and correlates with Riding the Ox Backwards. However, tbh, I did not see anything of that magnitude in your videos.

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Awesome, thanks for sharing. I also remember my first breakthrough DMT trip, i wrote about 10 pages the morning after. I need to find it.


B R E A T H E

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Interesting report. 

I smoked DMT and I actually met Shiva and Genesh (who I had no clue about) and they showed me something, but I didn't get the feeling I was god (although I know I am) perhaps because I didn't know of nonduality several years ago.

Although i didn't get the god feeling, did you get the feeling that everything else was fake except the trip? Like your entire life was a setup and you were meant to trip; and that trip is the only real reality? That you already did this before?

That's what I felt during mine, wondering if you did.

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@Angelo John Gage I wouldn't say everything else was fake, but it was definitely an 'oh yeah, I forgot.' This has been my experience with just about every trip; I have some realization thats like duh, this is so obvious. But the idea that everything else is fake, no, everything else is just life to be enjoyed, just a setup to awaken. I'd say it seems like life is created as this little game to forget all these things and awaken, literally like hide and go seek.

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@Key Elements Ahh...inducing enlightenment...is it morally correct..one day i predict that is going to be one hell of a debate.

 


 

Oh my God, it's One.

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5 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Key Elements Ahh...inducing enlightenment...is it morally correct..one day i predict that is going to be one hell of a debate.

 

I'm not talking about morality or not. That is not what I said, and I'm not trying to have a debate with Leo or anyone. I was communicating my direct experience with Leo. If you want to do psychedelics, you go and do it. That was not the issue.

I noticed that whenever I try to say something, it gets twisted into something else. Then, the discussion goes nowhere. Discussions are not based on misunderstandings. It turns into debate. I'm not interested in a debate. Leo emphasizes on radical open-mindedness. Debates are not even open-minded.

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@Key Elements Ok..but even if you didn't mean that its still an interesting question.

Right now 99% or whatever the number is of the population doesn't even accept that enlightenment or the paradigm of Idealism is even real so we are really far away from a discussion on whether or not enlightenment should be induced (if there was such a thing - personally i would intuit that pyschedelics would not be an automatic enlightenment tool but i could be wrong.  My awakening was a lifetime in the making and did not happen on psychedelics.

Anyway i don't wanna twist this post into something else but i do think it would be an interesting discussion on ethics when society evolved to the point where it would even happen.


 

Oh my God, it's One.

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9 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Key Elements Ok..but even if you didn't mean that its still an interesting question.

Right now 99% or whatever the number is of the population doesn't even accept that enlightenment or the paradigm of Idealism is even real so we are really far away from a discussion on whether or not enlightenment should be induced (if there was such a thing - personally i would intuit that pyschedelics would not be an automatic enlightenment tool but i could be wrong.  My awakening was a lifetime in the making and did not happen on psychedelics.

Anyway i don't wanna twist this post into something else but i do think it would be an interesting discussion on ethics when society evolved to the point where it would even happen.

Ok. I get what you're saying. Thanks for making it clear! :) I said it the way I did because I've been called silly names like "cult" or "anti-psychedelics."

Yes, I totally understand and agree with you on the highlighted part. What happened to me was not done under psychedelics or any strong methods, like SDS. So I'm not just talking about psychedelics.

I want to find a way to tell whatever happened to me on my life purpose--my full story, and I'm working on that. However, I have to keep in mind the way I communicate it. Most ppl in society are not ready to hear it. If it goes into a debate, it doesn't help in learning anything about it.

So far, when I work on my life purpose, this is what came up. And, yes, I still have to earn a living.

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@Leo GuraAnd Leo, to be radically open-minded includes taking all sides into consideration, or as many sides into consideration. If someone shows you this,

it does not mean that he/she is "anti-psychedelic." It does not mean the person is not interested in enlightenment. Look closely and carefully into the person. This clip has to be looked into very carefully too. You also have to question whether or not the person you are talking to has profound experiences already or have experienced Truth/Nothingness/No-self/Riding the Ox Backwards. Did he/she experienced it with or without psychedelics? If so, describe it. Let's see the work of the enlightened human being and how deep is the enlightenment.

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@Leo GuraJust thought of something else that I would like to mention to you. I thought you can't get beyond the absolute. The absolute means that "you" are God.

When "you" become God, that means that you're the No-self; then you make a transformation into everythingness, and then you ride the ox back into your ego (& world) with bliss, indicating that this world is the "to love realm." You can't get beyond this. That's what I thought. Once you are back into your ego, you have to observe your surrounding circumstances. Are you in adversity? Because I noticed that ppl who report the absolute without inducing it were in an adverse time in their lives. I was. I realized this. A war was taking place outside of where I lived. I was hiding while ppl outside were being stabbed to death. In my case, it reminds me of a metaphoric saying of Jesus, "Jesus, it's nice to finally meet you. Tell me something. When I look at this map of my life, you were always walking beside me. Why is it that in the most difficult time in my life I'm all alone? I can only see my footprints on this map? You're not walking beside me anymore." Then Jesus replied, "those are not your footprints. They're mine. That's when I carried you." The last line of the Jesus quote reminds me of Riding the Ox Backwards, when "you" are carried back into your ego by "yourself" because you're still one with God while making that transformation.

And Leo, I'm also wondering, since you mentioned these things in your videos...

What does experiencing the absolute have anything to do with brain chemistry? What does it have to do with being more spiritually "blessed?" To me, it has to do with a lot of factors. Maybe one of them being the decisions you make in your life.

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In this dimension that the human vessel resides, was created by the God's in heaven. The eternal spirit talked about in the bible is the spirit of you. Of me. Of all things. The perception of life here on earth is just a projection of how our spirit sees things in this dimension. We are all God and have the light of the eternal spirit inside us. As spirits in Heaven, we all have a purpose in order to maintain balance and harmony throughout all dimensions in order to bring the light and beauty of heaven to other realms, lile here on earth. Hence the saying "Heaven on Earth". Satan was exiled from heaven and sent to hell, which is the core of the earth. The core was created as a molten hot rock deep in the middle of this rock called earth. The reason that is, is because evil spirits are attracted to low vibrations such as anger, aggression, etc (all fueled by the ego of humans). As humans say "I'm heated right now"..anger...and that's what the evil uses to attach itself to you to take over your vessel. Once you break fron the true unconditonal love vibration of the essence of being one and knowing the atoms and energy that are "you", you open the door for evil to attack. Love is the frequency of heaven and the vibrations of the Godly spirit that we have once we break from all human conditioning and enter heaven. Any other feeling or emotion is driven by the egoic mind and you disconnect from the divine love spirit. As soon as the first sin was committed on earth, Satan was able to leave the hell that was created as a vault for him, and made it to the world we see as humans. It has always been a spiritual war between good and evil. The purpose of the God's that we are in heaven is to restore balance and harmony throughout each dimension of every realm accessible to our spirits because of love. Love is one. One is love. Love is all there is. So satan has always been trying to pull himself back up through each dimension and enter into heaven to try to take over, but of course, it wont ever happen. Love is the almighty and will always prevail. Some souls or spirits are reincarnated that have been coming here to the human world because of their purpose of their higher selves. Its deeper than anything that can be quantified by science because science is a man made discipline. They can only quantify things that are affected by time, space, or matter. Once You are the light and one with all, you are no longer limited by those constraints with which science tries to prove. My experience was just as this... I realized I am God. We are all God. We want to expand the kingdom of heaven and free the souls that have gotten trapped on earth. We gave the human vessel free will so as spirits we can learn and feel different things to be able to identify what humans are about. After all, You cant lead a person to their higher self if you dont know how to break their minds free from the distractions and conditioning of the evil spirits that are here on earth. As humans, our brain is what we can use to stay in contact with our higher self..with our Godly spirit in heaven. Beyond all dimensions and past the quantum field. Thats true ascension into the essence of oneness. To reach true enlightenment however, only the strongest and most divine will be able to reach that, as you will break from all things known and not restricted to a dimension or realm of existence. You will be able to create "miracles" just as Jesus did. You will have the ability to cotell all things that are.. Which is atoms and energy. This world we live in as humans for example is what our human minds have been conditioned to believe is real, this we project that into our reality. But once you become the light, and you reach true enlightenment (if you are one that's capable of such), you can manipulate all atoms in every realm of existence in to anything you want in am instant. Humans callnthis manifesting. Jesus was God manifest. When a human manifests, They are breaking from the 3rd dimension and reaching out to their higher self in heaven to create things that they want. But once You have ascended and became one with the spirit of your true essence, you recognize your souls purpose on Earth and what role you have in ridding the evil that broke from the vault in the core of the planet. Earth is supposed to be the utopia that represents heaven but on this planet and in this dimension. But like i said..the first sin committed brought evil spirits to this planet as well. So as we try to follow things that our human mind tells us, we will always be vulnerable to demonic attack and stuck to the confines of the false reality that evil has conditioned us to believe as being real. I experienced 2 ceremonies with DMT. The first broke all pain and suffering from me that inwas holding, and it also detached all evil spirits that have attached to me. My second ceremony, I woke up nearly that morning after dreaming that God told me that he was waiting on me to see him today and he had a message for me. That afternoon, everything changed. I felt a release inside from my solar plexus (the heart chakra) and immediately, BOOM! The sky we see as humans peeled away and I saw heaven. Its the most beautiful sight that isnt even conceivable to the unconscious human mind. As soon as I realized heaven was home, the brightest most warm and beautiful light shot like a beam straight into my chest..filling my heart with the true essence of love and the realization that I am God. My purpose as a divine spirit became so clear to me and in an instant I understood everything in this entire human world as well as the spiritual world as well. Some of the things I know and saw are too complex to write right at this moment as they may be misunderstood or taken the wrong way, as most humans are unconscious to the Godly spirit, and i dont want to cause the human ego to drive a reaction of anything negative to those here on earth. There is so much I can write but I will reveal this all when the time is right. Please live with only love and don't fall into temptation. Look into breaking from your egoic mind. That's the first step. Learn how to meditate, as that's the way you are able to connect with your divine spirit in heaven once you get that down. Take it slow as everyone is on their own spiritual journey and you will awaken to the light and being one when it is time. With love  

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On 28/04/2019 at 6:38 PM, kev014 said:

It's like Green proactively tries to cultivate love, tries to DO love, whereas in higher levels I imagine it just sort of shines through and is self evident. I feel I've gotten tastes of this in the past, just like the trees and birds and the light glimmering in the morning I can feel it all as this sort of non physical love that I am aware of at times and then forget. I can see how Green (and myself wherever I am SD wise) radically underestimates the concept of Oneness/God, to green its just ideology/belief.

Oh man, what a beautiful trip! YES, it becomes more and more self evident - it is all LOVE, ALL OF IT! Loved reading your report, very inspiring, thanks for sharing! :x


Everything IS LOVE, everything is music... :x

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