Bad integrated psychedelic experience

[Hugo Oliveira]

Some years ago I had a really bad psychedelic experience. It was full of paranoid confusion while I felt all the doors
of my unconscious opened. Sometimes I feel like some bad thing from the experience had penetrated me.
Since then I've been struggling with hard emotional and psychological pain and a strong feeling of misunderstanding reality.

After it, I felt in many other experiences with psychedelics an intense magnetic force pulling me into a terrible state of mind with looks to have the power to destroy my sanity and my life.
Now I wonder if the only way to get there and heal this trauma is via shamanism. Or should I run away from it and make my path using different and safer spiritual practices. This doubt is consuming myself for some time. Please, let me know your thoughts. Thank you.

[Forestluv]

If psychedelics don't resonate with you, I would discontinue their use and immerse myself in other spiritual practices such as meditation, self-inquiry, contemplation, journaling, yoga etc. As well, getting involved in a spiritual group can be helpful. I would suggest watching Leo's video on "65 principles for a good life", establishing a daily spiritual practice and developing a foundation.

[Gabriel Antonio]

Why on Earth are you still tripping?

[Leo Gura]

@Hugo Oliveira Sounds like you lack basic development, emotional maturity, and proper theoretical foundation.

I would look more into how to heal whatever emotional trauma you had in your childhood or early adulthood.

Seems like your ego is resisting the profound metaphysical truths the psychedelic is trying to share with you. You have to be comfortable surrendering yourself.

[ajasatya]

@Hugo Oliveira build a solid meditation habit and don't take any psychedelics until you've realized the illusory nature of your self-image.

psychedelics can be too overwhelming if you're still attached to thoughts.

[Girzo]

I think it's a personality type of thing. Some people have it easier than you, because they are more inclined to be emotionally stable. I believe I am that kind of person so the solution proposed might be not sophisticated or powerful enough for your needs, but here it goes.

Have a mantra that will pierce through your fears. For example this part from Psalm 23:

Quote

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;

It has to be something you belive in and sacred. I get shivers when I hear these words.

Other than that, you need a solid theorethical foundation on topics of good and evil, self-honesty, surrender, etc.

[RichardY]

2 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@Hugo Oliveira build a solid meditation habit and don't take any psychedelics until you've realized the illusory nature of your self-image.

psychedelics can be too overwhelming if you're still attached to thoughts.

What's it like to be overwhelmed by psychedelics?

[Tetcher]

There is no guarantee that psychedelics won't take you to hell. Some people pull out their eyes or cut their parts in a bad trip. Maybe they feel spiritually healed after going through the absoluteness of such act  but we don't know that either. You can also end up mad and spiritually damned who knows.

 

So first you should establish practices, better you follow an established spiritual path rather than stacking up random practices + psychedelics like it's encouraged here. It's safer but if you're itching for results and start trying technics without sticking to anything then there will be risk it goes in a direction you regret.

[DrewNows]

5 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@Hugo Oliveira build a solid meditation habit and don't take any psychedelics until you've realized the illusory nature of your self-image.

psychedelics can be too overwhelming if you're still attached to thoughts.

Excellent! Exactly what I did after my only trip down the rabbit hole. However I experienced some detachment for a week or so afterwards 

@RichardYnot to try and scare you but I had one trip on shrooms some years ago and it was by far the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. No control when your ego desperately wants it, it was fighting for its life and I was there just suffering through it...not everyone is this unfortunate on their first trip but it’s taken me years to integrate and understand my self image 

[ajasatya]

7 hours ago, RichardY said:

What's it like to be overwhelmed by psychedelics?

the monkey mind starts to panic and create all sorts of imaginary gibberish as a desperate move to incite the feeling of fear, aversion or even trauma.

[Hugo Oliveira]

@ajasatya Could you be more specific about this recognition of the illusory nature of your self-image? Would it be like "perceive myself as consciousness"? Or "Realize the true nature of being"? 

[Hugo Oliveira]

Thank you for all advice. My worry is the possible necessity to "go there" to fix the trauma. And the only way I know for fast deep consciousness exploring is via psychedelics. Once it can make me bad I feel really divided. Totally agreed with you all about the necessity of building a foundation. 

Very grateful. 

[ajasatya]

8 minutes ago, Hugo Oliveira said:

@ajasatya Could you be more specific about this recognition of the illusory nature of your self-image? Would it be like "perceive myself as consciousness"? Or "Realize the true nature of being"? 

whatever you think of yourself is just a thought. the thought is a real phenomenon but the content of the thought is not. that's why it's illusory. your self-image is just a huge set of beliefs that you evaluate as True (consciously or unconsciously).

that's why it's very very important to meditate. meditation gives you the ability to let go of your beliefs.

[Forestluv]

38 minutes ago, Hugo Oliveira said:

My worry is the possible necessity to "go there" to fix the trauma. And the only way I know for fast deep consciousness exploring is via psychedelics. Once it can make me bad I feel really divided. Totally agreed with you all about the necessity of building a foundation. 

I'm not a specialist with trauma, yet my basic understanding is that one needs to be cautious when "going there". Re-experiencing the trauma can be counter-productive and cause further mental harm. As well, psychedelics can open doors and unleash repressed emotions and experiences. It can be really difficult to work through and integrate these experiences solo. Unfortunately, there aren't many options to work with psychedelics and trained professionals. The positive clinical studies were done with patients that had already had psychotherapy, were only given moderate doses of psychedelics in a controlled environment for about 3 sessions that were spaced apart. And the patients continued to receive top-notch therapy to help integrate the revelations. It's a totally different situation than a person going it alone. 

Yet, I think the good news is that once you work your way through this ordeal and form a stable foundation, you might be able to recontextualize your previous psychedelic experiences. They might offer insights in the future.

[mandyjw]

 Go for a run, a long run, 5 miles or more, (work up to it) preferably in a beautiful secluded spot. Keep your thoughts at bay, keep going back to your breath, your steps, the nature around you. It's SO much easier than meditating and you will enter a certain state of "no you" much quicker. 

Psychedelics are for lazy guys who like to stay on their couches too much. Of course that's not true all the time, but a lot of the time it is. Sorry guys. 

[DrewNows]

54 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

 Go for a run, a long run, 5 miles or more, (work up to it) preferably in a beautiful secluded spot. Keep your thoughts at bay, keep going back to your breath, your steps, the nature around you. It's SO much easier than meditating and you will enter a certain state of "no you" much quicker. 

Psychedelics are for lazy guys who like to stay on their couches too much. Of course that's not true all the time, but a lot of the time it is. Sorry guys. 

Interesting opinion. Im curious but I doubt you have experience with psychedelics. 

Sometimes we get so conditioned into fooling ourselves, psychedelics can be of use in overcoming deep mental barriers you’d usually use running or meditation to bypass 

[mandyjw]

41 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

Interesting opinion. Im curious but I doubt you have experience with psychedelics. 

Sometimes we get so conditioned into fooling ourselves, psychedelics can be of use in overcoming deep mental barriers you’d usually use running or meditation to bypass 

I have young kids that I'm responsible for on a daily basis so trying them is not an option for me right now. In the future I'd be open to it depending on my state of being at that time.

 I started running long distances when I was 10 and for me it's always been a huge opening into the spiritual realm, even when I was too young to know what enlightenment was. Mediation is a completely different experience. To me mediation is more like work, running is more like putting yourself in the right place and time for an enlightenment experience to happen to you. In that way it's a kind of hack or shortcut like a psychedelic but without the dramatic effects and various risks inherently involved in that.

[mandyjw]

 

[Forestluv]

@mandyjw Yes, indeed! I've also been a long-distance runner and know that transcendent mind space while running long distances. I think if long distance running resonated with someone it could be an avenue to process and integrate experiences, even psychedelic ones. These are the true "runners" that run for running sake. Yet, I think there are also those that run just to work out, lose weight or compete to win. They don't seem to have the same spirituality of running mindset. I question how well it would work for them. 

[Nahm]

@mandyjw @Serotoninluv Yes! And....both! ?? 5 mile run first thing in the morning followed by meditation...?