Ampresus

What is healthy masturbation?

21 posts in this topic

Hello everybody. Since joining this forum I have discovered my two greatest addictions and how they can be a problem for me. Gaming and porn. Now how I deal with gaming is a different story, what I like to talk about today is my addiction to porn.

I am almost certain that I am addicted to porn. When I tried to quit for 2 weeks, the reason I looked at porn at the end was because I didn't know how else I would get my needs met. How else am I supposed to masturbate? There is porn, using your imagination and that's it! There has to be a better way right?

I think there is. I read somewhere about healthy masturbation, I just don't know what it means. When I looked it up all I could find was ''10 tips to make your masturbation better!!!'' kind of articles. When I asked on this forum if NoFap is a good thing to engage in as a teen (because I am a teen), people said that masturbation itself isn't a bad thing. The only problem is porn because it is addictive. Paul Chek came to this point as well in one of his video's about masturbation/porn.

Now I wonder: what should I do then? What should I do when I get horny all of the sudden?
Just surpress it? I heard that that could become very unhealthy, according to Paul Chek and the guy's sources.
Watch porn? No, that could cause an addiction.
Masturbate to my imagination? I tried that, but it wasn't even close to as great as porn.

Any help is highly wanted. Take care everyone.

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@Ampresus Read Your Brain on Porn (not a religious book, but scientific). Make it your new years resolution to quit porn in 2019. Fantasy is a more natural way to go than using pixels on a screen. You don't have to stop or anything, but it can greatly reduce social anxiety, increase libido towards women (depend on your orientation), increase overall happiness and energy.

Interesting Notes:

42-43

"Between 1948 and 2002, historical rates of ED for men under 40 were consistently 2%-3% and did not begin to rise steeply until after age 40. However, since 2010, six studies have found ED rated of 14%-33% in young men, a 1000% increase in the last 15 years. (...) multiple studies from the last decade using a variety of assessment instruments reveal evidence that difficulties during partnered sex are affecting as many as one in three young men."

 

54

"'Young Japanese men are growing indifferent or even averse to sex, while married couples are starting to have it even less,' reported the Japan Times, citing a 2010 poll that revealed a striking trend. More than 36% of men aged 16 to 19 had no interest in sex, more than double the 17.5% from 2008."

 

59

"In his famous TED talk 'The Demise of Guys', well-known psychologist Phillip Zimbardo noted that 'arousal addiction' (porn, video games) is a major factor in the increase in social awkwardness and anxiety among digital natives."

 

61 Inability to concentrate

"Those who commonly reboot report that they have 'better concentration', 'no more brain fog, 'clearer thinking' and 'improved memory'. Not surprisingly, researchers report that porn (or erotica) viewing is associated with concentration problems, working memory interference, poorer executive function, and reduced academic performance. Several research groups have now linked porn use with impulsiveness or the inability to delay gratification. This has ominous implications for meeting life goals while using porn. Such results align with a finding that moderate porn use, even by non-addicts, correlates with shrunken grey matter in regions of the brains associated with cognitive function."

 

103

"Bottom line, given what we know about the links between behavior and brain function, it seems reckless to prescribe psychotropic drugs to young people without first addressing potential overuse of the internet. And also reckless to prescribe them sexual enhancement drugs without addressing internet porn use."

 

113

"Dopamine is at its peak on the verge of orgasm. Therefore edging also keeps dopamine as high as it can naturally go, perhaps for hours. The brain is getting strong signals to strengthen the associations between arousal and whatever the viewer is watching, be it fetish or merely screen. Chronically elevated dopamine also risks causing addiction-related brain changes, such as decreasing sensitivity to pleasure."

 

135

"In 1964 Justice Potter Stewart of the US Supreme Court famously claimed that, while he couldn't define pornography, he knew it when he saw it.

   Opinions as to whether bikini pics constitute porn are irrelevant. What really matters are spikes of reward-circuit dopamine."

 

141

"Live as if porn didn't exist. Completely forget about it. Don't spend your day fighting urges. Don't 'try hard'. Be OK with the idea that you will never watch porn again in your life."

 

148

"It's hard to imagine that while generation chain-smoked cigarettes without having any idea how harmful they are, but the same thing is happening today with online pornography."

 

154

"the most enlightening causation experiment currently possible is being done right now by thousands of people in various online forums. Porn users are removing a single variable that they all have in common: porn use. This 'study' is not perfect."

 

157

"A single explicit image isn't going to cause problems, any more than a spoonful of sugar will bring on diabetes. But on the internet, there is sugar everywhere. For religious, ex-religious or nonreligious users, the unending erotic novelty of the internet is a risky supernormal stimulus

…It is the way that users can over stimulate themselves that seems to create the problems."


"If death causes you no pain when you're dead, it's foolish to allow the fear of it cause you pain now." - Epicurus

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Start with 90 days of complete abstinence from porn and masturbation and everything resolving around it. If you succeed that, you can progress from there. If you are really addicted to porn, you don't even know what a normal feeling of horniness feels like, because it's totally messed up by urges from the addiction.


"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." - Carl Gustav Jung

"Open your heart, let the universe shine through, don't be scared, it knows what you need, now and forever"

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@Ampresus I'm on day 70 something no P, no M, no O. 

Zero relapse.

Here is some of the things that help:

1.) Start to spend more time in the gym or outside.

2.) If you're on your computer a lot, put site blockers.

3.) Raise your baseline awareness so that you have enough will power to over come the urges.

4.) Be mindful during upheavals. 

5.) Notice your mind when it goes into fantasy and imagination. Realize this is an ego game that your mind is playing to pull a fast one on you.

6.) Breath deeply and let yourself fully feel any emotion, good or bad (all emotions will pass)

7.) Talk to someone about it irl and focus on the future and how you will feel when you are exploding with masculine energy and visualize what you will do with your extra energy

8.) Start waking up earlier than you would usually. You will have more strength in your subtle body (the part that resists moving, especially in the morning.) 


"The place you are looking for is the place from which you are looking." - Mooji 

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It's so interesting that this topic is popping up everytime! It's a huge issue in modern day society. 

I was addicted to porn and i am still addicted to it i think. About two years ago i quit watching porn for some time and every now and then I have relapses, but i don't do it on a daily basis anymore. Nowadays I say to myself: you can watch porn again next year! Or you can fap one time per month. Or two times per month. Sometimes it works better than other times, but this kind of goals work for me. 

 

 

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@John Lula Thank you for posting these quotes, I read them all and now I learned something new. I liked the last quote about that one spoon of sugar wont give diabetes. Many NoFappers think that way, and this can cause binges and setbacks after seeing like 1 porn image “Oh no, my streak is ruined!, all I have worked for the last 38 days is lost!” And then the cravings hit them hard af and then they go diabetes mode because they think they already hit rock bottom, so they think that cant fuck up more than that.

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22 minutes ago, Clint Eastwood said:

It's so interesting that this topic is popping up everytime! It's a huge issue in modern day society. 

I was addicted to porn and i am still addicted to it i think. About two years ago i quit watching porn for some time and every now and then I have relapses, but i don't do it on a daily basis anymore. Nowadays I say to myself: you can watch porn again next year! Or you can fap one time per month. Or two times per month. Sometimes it works better than other times, but this kind of goals work for me. 

 

 

Go to the next step, just tell yourself you're not a fapper anymore.

If you look into the psychology of it,
Fapping is about giving yourself the best natural physical pleasure you can have in life, with 0 effort, in a very short span of time.

It doesn't matter if it's from porn or not really,
It's basically a way to remain lazy,

If  you can give yourself the best physical pleasure possible,
Why do anything else ?

 

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@Igor82 Agree. I did 120 days of no-fap once. From my experience quitting porn is enough, no more fuss than that. Unless you fap like endlessly day and night (and get negative consequences by it).


"If death causes you no pain when you're dead, it's foolish to allow the fear of it cause you pain now." - Epicurus

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9 hours ago, John Lula said:

Read Your Brain on Porn (not a religious book, but scientific). Make it your new years resolution to quit porn in 2019. Fantasy is a more natural way to go than using pixels on a screen. You don't have to stop or anything, but it can greatly reduce social anxiety, increase libido towards women (depend on your orientation), increase overall happiness and energy.

@John Lula You see: my parents are dogmatic muslims. If they saw a book with the word ''porn'' in its title, I would be dead. Thanks for sharing the notes.

I dont celebrate New Year, Christmas or whatever and therefore don't have '''New Year's resolutions'', but I will try to quit it as long as possible.

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2 hours ago, Shin said:

Healthy masturbation 😂

Remind me a day when smoking was seen as beneficial for your health 🙄

@Shin I thought masturbating was a way of releasing sexual desires without hurting anyone/anyone in general? That many people did it in the past and still do, but now with porn (which makes everything unhealthy)?

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5 hours ago, Sahil Pandit said:

I'm on day 70 something no P, no M, no O. 

@Sahil Pandit I assume that P = porn and M = masturbation, but what is O? Orgasm?

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@AmpresusSo strange to be dogmatic haha. It's like a disease against new stuff.

O= orgasm

PM= premature ejaculation

ED= erectile dysfunction

Edited by John Lula
Add more

"If death causes you no pain when you're dead, it's foolish to allow the fear of it cause you pain now." - Epicurus

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How old are you?

Did you already had sex?

Edited by universe

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You can do it every day but... Learn the Art of Injaculation. 


pointless                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

 

 

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14 hours ago, universe said:

How old are you?

Did you already had sex?

@universe I am 14 years old and I have never had sex before.

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17 hours ago, Shin said:

Go to the next step, just tell yourself you're not a fapper anymore.

If you look into the psychology of it,
Fapping is about giving yourself the best natural physical pleasure you can have in life, with 0 effort, in a very short span of time.

It doesn't matter if it's from porn or not really,
It's basically a way to remain lazy,

If  you can give yourself the best physical pleasure possible,
Why do anything else ?

 

You make a good point. One new year resolution is to quit porn altogether. But i think i will masturbate, because i just have the physical urge to do so every once in a while. It feels unhealthy to deny it too long. 

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@Ampresus I can tell you I was porn addicted. Not being able to withstand masturbating is not porn addiction. Not even close.

The book "your brain on porn" also describes what porn addiction is, with many reports from people that quit. If you are afraid of having your parents find the book there is also a website with some information on the effects of porn https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/videos-articles/

So, porn addiction is a very different beast to actual porn consumption. In porn addiction you masturbate much more frequently, up to several times a day. You begin to watch porn with actions that wouldn't turn you on in real life or you might find disgusting or off putting. The body types and even the sexual orientation of the porn might be opposite of what your actual orientation is. This puts a high psychological stress on you as you begin to question your own sexual orientation. I have seen stuff that I cannot even imagine watching now. Some of it might make me cry or vomit.

To avoid spiraling down like me and many others, set boundaries and don't step over them. 

Most people that are into NoFap have gone down the rabbit hole and are much older than you. It takes a very long time to realize, admit it and eventually let it get to a point were it has to be quit. If you were my age I would just recommend you to have sex. This is what actually made me loose interest in porn completely. 

As you have said suppression of sexual desires is not a good idea. This and a bad attitude towards sex is what leads to abusive actions like rape etc. It all comes out at some point and usually it is so strong then that it cannot be really controlled. Watching porn can also be seen as a form of suppression of your actual sexual desires. You are covering up what you actually want with a lousy substitute. Sexual frustration then leads to exploration of different genres, because they are just a click away and then boom, they got you.

I have gotten to a point now, were I masturbate only about once a week, generally without porn. For me that is a good frequency, because then I am really horny. If I don't watch porn and only imagine having sex with my girl it is really nice too. 

For you as someone that is starting out, I would recommend sticking to the minimum that gets you aroused and then using imagination. Having a low masturbation frequency and doing it when you are really really horny makes the experience much better. 


TOBE's:

  1. Be happy
  2. Be a unicorn

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On 31.12.2018 at 3:23 PM, Ampresus said:

@universe I am 14 years old and I have never had sex before.

Allright and what is your goal?

You are most likely addicted to a lot of stuff (just assuming). I was when I was your age.

 

You are really young so take your time. A little porn addiction wont kill you.

It might make you act a bit weird socially (but then most are watching porn).

It might take away time to study or do a hobby.

It might create some sort of fetish.

 

If you just want to avoid a porn addiction, stop watching it. You can try switching to pictures first, then just audioporn (google it?). Its fine, you can masturbate to imagination as well, it just takes some time for your brain to kick in.

If you want more (like a girlfriend, get a life), get rid of your pc! Im not joking. Sell it, burn it, gift it to someone. You dont need it! Now if you watch porn on a phone idk, Im too old for this, youll have to get creative. But by getting rid of the pc you achieve several things.

You stop gaming. You stop porn. You stop wasting time on internet forums.

Instead you go out socialize, practice new skills, try out different things and all stuff like this. YOUR LIFE BECOMES INTERESTING. This will be very beneficial for you.

Get a pc back when you are 17, 18. Start self-actualizing, watching porn and what not. Trust me you dont need it before.

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