Woman falling for criminals and serial killers

[Olaf]

@Ulax shocking, it was definitely the peak moment of my day, better then talking to any girl 

[Emerald]

From the age of 16 to 20, I had a boyfriend that I loved very much. But he couldn't do right by himself.

So, he was always in and out of jail for driving on a suspended license and other small "can't keep his life together" things.

But I started dating him before he'd ever gone to jail. So, I was just sticking with him in the ups and downs because I was really attached to the idea that he was my forever partner. And it was soul crushing for me during the times that I had to talk to him behind glass.

Staying with him was a bad idea, of course. His chaotic life would have dragged my life down.

But I wasn't attracted to him and in a relationship with him because he was in and out of jail.

I was initially attracted to his Devil May Care ways that he operated when we worked together as teenagers... as he would do all kinds of zany outrageous things. And he also had a lot of great qualities... though he was always threatening to bust random dudes' kneecaps out, if they got on his bad side. It was a bit of a catchphrase for him.  

So, I was just really devoted to trying to make a bad relationship work with a guy who was running his own life into the gutter. And I eventually had to break it off.

But it was hard, because I was with him for 4 years... which was 20% of my life at that time. And I really cared about him and saw the good parts of him... which were definitely there as well. 

That's what I suspect is the case in 9 out of the 10 situations where a woman is with a guy in prison: They met before he went to prison and she stuck with him during his incarceration.

So, in most cases, the woman probably isn't like "Yay! A jailbird! So sexy!"... unless she is equally likely to be a chaotic jailbird herself. 

But with the lady you brought up... she probably got with the guy before he went to prison. And then, she stuck with him. And while that may or may not be a good decision (depending on how likely it is that he repeats this problem), it tracks with the level of devotion that many women have towards their partners.

Then, the other thing of "women falling in love with serial killers"... that's TOTALLY different. 

Those are just crazy women. And they hear about a high profile court case and decide they want to be Mrs. Jeffrey Dahmer.

Also, women liking true crime does not mean they're attracted to criminals. I have friend who LOVES true crime. But she's more interested in it from a figure out who the killer is and bring justice perspective.

[Olaf]

@Emerald but your case is quite innocent, compared to someone being an actual criminal or killer, he was just having too much beer probably. But yeah that recklessness might have drawn you in at that age. Thanks for sharing. 

[Schizophonia]

Criminality can be a form of expressing masculinity and thus attract girls, though they are crazy of course.

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Emerald but your case is quite innocent, compared to someone being an actual criminal or killer, he was just having too much beer probably. But yeah that recklessness might have drawn you in at that age. Thanks for sharing. 

Is your female friend with a guy who's a killer? Or did he do something else to get into prison?

I'm just saying that the woman you know might have gotten with the guy before he got into trouble. And if she's devoted to him and loves him, she may be overlooking his problems in the same way I was overlooking the problems with my boyfriend from my teens.

And it's easy to see the positive parts of someone... even if they have really terrible facets to themselves as well.

But it often comes from inexperience and naiveté. 

When I was 16, I could see the good parts in my then-boyfriend. And I didn't realize the real consequences to being in a partnership with ANYONE... let alone someone who's reckless in their life.

From how you understand it, you seem to be under the impression that this woman started dating a prisoner who was already incarcerated. And that would be very unlikely.

[Olaf]

@Emerald I do need to ask more deeper questions next time I meet such a girl out in the wild and will let you know, with this girl I am not sure if he was a killer, but he was stuck in prison for 3 years and on another day before there was a girl that did have a guy who killed someone. I will ask some deeper questions next time and keep you guys updated. 

[Emerald]

28 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Emerald I do need to ask more deeper questions next time I meet such a girl out in the wild and will let you know, with this girl I am not sure if he was a killer, but he was stuck in prison for 3 years and on another day before there was a girl that did have a guy who killed someone. I will ask some deeper questions next time and keep you guys updated. 

If you've met two women that this describes recently...

My question is... 'Where are you going to meet women?' and 'Do you tend to be attracted to and/or feel more comfortable around women who might be predisposed to having messy lives or choosing partners that are bad for them?'

Like, in the area that I lived as a teenager, it was really common to know people who had family/friends/partners in jail or prison... or people who had been to jail themselves. It was a working class area with many working poor people. And it was kind of a rednecky trailer park kind of place.

And standards of behavior were quite low for many people in my hometown, in my neighborhood. Though it was on a spectrum. There were people who kept their lives together. But there were plenty of people who had low standards morally and otherwise.

So, if you've recently met two women who have partners in prison, my thought is that you're interacting with women who are from an area with a lot of poverty where standards and expectations are low... or who are naive and inexperienced... or who are chaotic themselves... or even just women who have low self-esteem.

If there's a pattern of meeting women with partners in prison, you may be fishing in a pond that leads you to meeting women whose lives have been difficult and chaotic.

[Heaven]

Criminals might be highly manipulating. So they probably manipulate their women as well.

[LordFall]

@Emerald Yeah makes sense, a lot of the traits that lead to criminality are about resistance to authority, confidence, dominance over other males, standing up for yourself, etc. Mostly attractive traits if one has the integration needed to not break the law. 

[Joseph Maynor]

This thread is too extreme.  For some it may apply.  

[meta_male]

@Joseph Maynor What you mean by too extreme?

[Olaf]

@Emerald mainly tourists in the center of the city, I actually left quite quickly after hearing she had a boyfriend in prison, I spoke for a second to the boyfriend on the phone in prison because I was having fun lol, but then I left after that. I don't know if they were poor, hard to tell, didn't look poor but who knows.

[Joseph Maynor]

23 minutes ago, meta_male said:

@Joseph Maynor What you mean by too extreme?

It could be too extreme, it depends on context.  

[meta_male]

@Joseph Maynor Give us your view in more detail. Do you mean it only applies to a small range of people?

[coca]

@Leo Gura I think it’s more like if u disrespect them in a creepy way that indicates your frustration or that you aren’t getting enough sex.

Ive found that guys that are able to market themselves as a desirable member of the community, (good ol’ American boys)  are strategically able to get away with whatever they want 

[Basman]

Brat Hitler is crazy 🥵

[Olaf]

@Basman when I woke up today I didn't expect to hear Leo talk like that, caught me off guard aswell 

[Ulax]

4 minutes ago, Basman said:

Brat Hitler is crazy 🥵

Hahahaha