Am I Finally Ready To Let Go of Dating?

[Lyubov]

2 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

@Lyubov Thank you for the well-thought message.

My question for you is this:

How many people do you think does the work we do here? What about the amount of people that actually does it seriously? 

It’s not enough to be scientifically gifted.

And I am not expecting the girl to be anywhere near as conscious as Leo, as I am not either. I don’t even expect her to be as conscious as I am. But relatively conscious.

Now ask yourself, how many of them are 25-30 years olds? And finally, ask yourself: how many of them are physically attractive in Miguel’s standards? The boy who is used to the best.

Also ask yourself, for a really attractive girl in her youth, what are her incentives to doing this work? In general.. this work already is more suited to men, as we care more about truth, and girls care more about feelings.

I'll answer your questions honestly the best I can. Some of my answers may not directly answer them because of my world view. Our overall worldview can really shape and form the questions we ask and sometimes certain questions assume things which may or may not be true or open for a different interpretation. 

I've reworded your word work into my own definition here: How many people practice spirituality or live in accordance with their inner truth? I think it is difficult to say. It isn't something I believe you can really quantify. I know there are people who regularly compromise their commitment to truth, honesty and authenticity. Plenty of people roll around in the mud. I also know there are plenty of principled people who choose not lie to themselves and also a lot of people in between who aren't doing things perfectly. I know I don't do it perfectly, I have chosen before old beliefs and unconscious behavior because I was disconnecting something within myself. So In terms of numbers I really don't know. In terms of people I spend time with I would say they aren't compromising their commitment to truth, honesty and authenticity more than I am myself. There are people I do not spend time with because I do not agree with their behaviors or have enough in common with them to put time and energy into. From my experience I would say probably 1/4 people I meet while socializing I can relate to and 1/8 are worth exchanging contacts with and possibly putting time/energy into. I work a lot and have a few friends and am married so my energy tends to go to these people but I make around 1-3 friends a year worth putting regular time into. 

I would need clarifying on what you mean by conscious here. Do you mean not compromising her commitment to truth, honesty and authenticity? I've met a good bit of girls who are pretty straight forward and clear about who they are. They aren't perfect either at it but they are pretty clear in what they want and are secure in who they are. Of course there are plenty of girls I have met who do seem really disconnected and believe a lot of crazy things. I have met a lot of girls who aren't physically attractive for me either as well as ones who are stunning. 

Age 25-30 I would say again I can't say any more or less people are compromising their commitment to truth, honesty and authenticity. It's pretty much the same as adults. Plenty of older people live a lie their entire lives. To be honest I can't really answer your questions from this point because it is difficult to really know these things as you keep redefining and adding any number of parameters that are deeply personal to the group. Your definition and the way you interpret someone as conscious can be very different from mine. I would ask you, what specific actions and behaviors would you like to see from a girl who you believe is not compromising her commitment to truth, honesty and authenticity? My perspective isn't so compatible with thinking in terms of these questions. I want to reiterate again there is nothing wrong with that or you shouldn't think this way. You don't need a relationship to be happy and whole. But I would own this belief, If you think most girls don't live up to w, x, y, z and aren't worth dating then don't date them! Nothing wrong with that. Plenty of women don't date men because they believe most men aren't w, x, y, z. 

I have met many girls who are young and attractive and spiritual. There are plenty of them that have their own unique little thing going and are walking a path towards truth, honesty and authenticity. So my experience has been no, I haven't met a shortage of girls from my perspective who compromise their commitment to truth, honesty and authenticity anymore than myself. But also I don't choose a partner based on that alone, I wan't a woman I enjoy spending time with, I think is beautiful, is compatible with my lifestyle too. All of this comes down to how we define things and our perspective and how we define our standards. I would recommend you inquire on this and ask yourself what specific actions and behaviors you would like to see regularly from a girl who you believe is not compromising her commitment to truth, honesty and authenticity. I would also get clear with yourself on what you deem as a girl not compromising their commitment to truth, honesty and authenticity.

Edited 11 hours ago by Lyubov

[Emerald]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Are you more conscious than a chimpanzee?

The consciousness of the chimp and my consciousness are one and the same. And don't you forget it!

But take the chimpiest human you can image and compare them to myself... and there is not much difference.

We're both ordinary limited humans, having an ordinary human experience.

Edited 11 hours ago by Emerald

[Yimpa]

Fun fact: I only date 0’s 

 

Get it, cus Nothingness is Love? 

GET IT??!

There‘s nothing to get…
and everything to Fucking Love

<3 

Edited 11 hours ago by Yimpa

[AION]

2 hours ago, something_else said:

You’ve put down almost everybody on the planet who isn’t you, lol.

And no you don’t need to take it, but there’s a difference between discernment and coming up with an excuse for why almost every single piece of advice other people have given you won’t work

dude just let him be with your judgemental attitude everyhwere... not everybody has to be like you licking up to the staff all the time. People can have their own life experiences different from you.

I learned so much from this thread just by reading it. And it improved my game. What made Miguel succesful is that he is very picky against himself and against girls. That is what upped is social life and dating. What made him succesful is also what will ruin him but sometimes people have to find it out for themselves. 

I hope Miguel shares more about his dating insights. Unfortunately he is caught up dealing with trolls like you.

Edited 10 hours ago by AION

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

The consciousness of the chimp and my consciousness are one and the same. And don't you forget it!

But take the chimpiest human you can image and compare them to myself... and there is not much difference.

We're both ordinary limited humans, having an ordinary human experience.

You are being too humble. Untruthfully humble.

Some more arrogance would straighten you out.

Edited 10 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Ulax]

I will miss Miguel 

[Majed]

@Ulax

2 minutes ago, Ulax said:

I will miss Miguel 

Homo-curious vibe. 

[Ulax]

Just now, Majed said:

@Ulax

Homo-curious vibe. 

My whole life I have dreamt of marrying RSD Miguel 

[Jirh]

54 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You are being too humble. Untruthfully humble.

Some more arrogance would straighten you out.

Humility is a virtue. Arrogance is a vice.

You pay for arrogance with loneliness.

Edited 9 hours ago by Jirh

[Natasha Tori Maru]

5 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Stupid advice, or spiritual narcissism.

That's not fair. 

Users took time to think about and to try to assist by answering in earnest. 

[Valach]

5 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

That's not fair. 

Users took time to think about and to try to assist by answering in earnest. 

Users feel used 

[questionreality]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You are being too humble. Untruthfully humble.

Some more arrogance would straighten you out.

Coming from someone who claims to be the most conscious human on this planet (levels of consciousness that no one has reached) is just hilarious.

[Xonas Pitfall]

6 hours ago, Lyubov said:

How many people do you think does the work we do here? What about the amount of people that actually does it seriously? 

It’s not enough to be scientifically gifted.

And I am not expecting the girl to be anywhere near as conscious as Leo, as I am not either. I don’t even expect her to be as conscious as I am. But relatively conscious.

Now ask yourself, how many of them are 25-30 years olds? And finally, ask yourself: how many of them are physically attractive in Miguel’s standards? The boy who is used to the best.

Also ask yourself, for a really attractive girl in her youth, what are her incentives to doing this work? In general.. this work already is more suited to men, as we care more about truth, and girls care more about feelings.

I’m not completely sure what you’re trying to express with this. To me, it comes across more as you getting your feelings out and processing what you’re going through, which is completely okay.

You yourself defined the goal: the more “special” of a person you want, the more difficult it becomes.

The same applies to any goal in life.

You can desire to become a billionaire, but that comes with the responsibilities and consequences of being a billionaire.

You can desire to become a spiritual guru in your 30s, but that comes with the responsibility of actually being a spiritual guru in your 30s.

If you want a highly conscious woman in her mid-to-late 20s or early 30s, then you need to go out there and take responsibility for finding such a woman, maintaining a relationship with her, and being the kind of person she is also attracted to.

If you truly want this, then the solution is to get out there, reach out to as many people as possible, put yourself in places where people like this are likely to be, and actually find that person. Then you keep fine-tuning your approach until something works.

And if you find that nothing makes you happy, then you need to question whether the problem is your approach, attitude, mentality, surroundings, or simply where and how you are meeting and approaching people. Troubleshoot what isn’t working and adjust accordingly.

I think the "feelings point" is ultimately not going to change much here. Either way, you’re looking for something very rare, a “unicorn.”

And if that’s genuinely what you want, then you have to be willing to put in the amount of effort it takes to find something that rare. The more specific and uncommon the person you’re looking for is, the more effort, time, and persistence it will naturally take.

You chose to want this and not “settle” for anything else, so what’s the issue?

If you want to become a billionaire and you refuse to settle for anything less, then you have to be willing to work, think, and live in a way that is consistent with becoming a billionaire. And if you eventually realize that you don’t actually want the lifestyle, responsibilities, sacrifices, and consequences that come with it, then you don’t really want the goal itself.

Wanting something without being willing to accept the downsides that come with it is just wishful thinking.

Everyone wants an ideal life, but very few people are actually willing to put in the work.

If anything, one of the core principles of spiritual work is accepting reality as it is, and accepting the truth as it is.

The truth of having a desire is that it comes with frustration, uncertainty, and a significant amount of work. You have to actually go out and find someone like this, build and maintain a relationship with them, and become the kind of person they would also be genuinely attracted to.

Edited 5 hours ago by Xonas Pitfall

[JoshB]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You are being too humble. Untruthfully humble.

Some more arrogance would straighten you out.

funniest shit I've read all day

They're showing too much humility we can't be having that around here. lol

Edited 5 hours ago by JoshB

[gengar]

10 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Now ask yourself, how many of them are 25-30 years olds? And finally, ask yourself: how many of them are physically attractive in Miguel’s standards? The boy who is used to the best.

Nobody believes that you actually bagged 10s bro.

The level of narcissism we let slide here is astounding.

Edited 3 hours ago by gengar

[Xonas Pitfall]

Quote

I had a monent of loneliness and opened up here. No more. No less. Who doesn’t experience loneliness when they are on this journey?

Isn’t it allowed?

This conversation doesn’t need to be 20 pages long, and I have communicated it multiple times.

I am in the process of letting go of dating and potentially transcending it. Isn’t the work about facing the hard truths, and griefing the loss of beautiful illusions, and finally accepting the hard truths?

I was expecting some emotional support for my griefing process, as one of the main reason this community was made, was for that.

But I kinda regret expecting that.

This conversation can be done, as far as I am concerned. It doesn’t really need to be pushed further.

Oh, sorry, I didn’t see this. It’s completely fine to open up. I think the reason people reacted the way they did is that some of what you said came across as arrogant, even if that wasn’t your intention.

Again, you can want whatever you want, but wanting something specific also comes with the consequences, responsibilities, effort, and potential loneliness that come with pursuing it.

But if all you wanted to do was emotionally vent, that’s completely fine. Yes, it can be lonely, and it can be difficult to find a good match. Luckily, you only really need to find one unicorn, not thousands of them.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

If anything, one of the core principles of spiritual work is accepting reality as it is, and accepting the truth as it is.

PREACH

[gengar]

1 hour ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

If anything, one of the core principles of spiritual work is accepting reality as it is, and accepting the truth as it is.

Then why did God not accept its reality and is schizophrenically cosplaying as every limited being, plunging himself into realities of delusion and denial without end?

[Xonas Pitfall]

9 minutes ago, gengar said:

Then why did God not accept its reality and is schizophrenically cosplaying as every limited being, plunging himself into realities of delusion and denial without end?

God is Everything.

The "Truth" of being Everything is that you also are a schizophrenic cosplaying as every limited being, plunging yourself into realities of delusion and denial without end.

When you say God is infinity, it literally means that: everything, everyone, everywhere, all at once. Limited and unlimited.

There is no “limit” set upon God. If God couldn’t “accept” being delusional, that would also be the limit; hence, why limitation exists.

Edited 3 hours ago by Xonas Pitfall

[gengar]

3 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

God is Everything.

The "Truth" of being Everything is that you also are a schizophrenic cosplaying as every limited being, plunging yourself into realities of delusion and denial without end.

When you say God is infinity, it literally means that: everything, everyone, everywhere, all at once. Limited and unlimited.

There is no “limit” set upon God. If God couldn’t “accept” being delusional, that would also be the limit; hence, why limitation exists.

so why is accepting reality spiritual, while denying it isn't? what condition decides what is spiritual or not?

You could even make a case that Buddhists for example accept reality the least. they do everything to rid the reality of the imposed delusions of the ego and its suffering. they deny desire.

Edited 3 hours ago by gengar